The Game
by NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Seventh year Gryffindors all decide they need a bit of fun and Sirius suggests Truth or Dare, but with a twist. Will it really go for a week non-stop? And what is with the parchment?
1. Waltzing and Rulebooks

**So, I was going to write my monthly one-shot, but decided to keep going with this one... it's fun. And some of my friends keep telling me I should write more Marauder Humor, so... Here it is! **

**The next chapter is half done, so it shouldn't take long to put up. But this is going to be my fun fic; something to write when I am bored... I am going to try and stick to what we know about the Marauders, but there will be no (or at least, not many) references to the war. I was just curious as to where a giant game of truth or dare with the marauders would go... I have a lot of ideas, but any truth questions or dare suggestions will be much appreciated! **

**Also, if you want a quick summary, scroll down a little... there's a general overview of the Game the Marauders are going to play. Should give you a fairly decent idea...  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the Marauders, or even Waltzing Matilda... though those lyrics were something that just flew out of my fingers in a moment of utter boredom when I couldn't decide how to start the story!  
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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

SUNDAY: Waltzing and Rulebooks

"_Once a jelly slug-man, sitting by the billy-a-bang_…"

"Sirius…."

"_Under the shade of the Cool-a-something tree_,"

"Sirius..."

"_And he sang as he waited for his kettle to boil_,"

"Sirius!"

"_Want to come waltzing with Matilda and me_!"

"SIRIUS! Shut up!"

"_Waltzing with Matilda, Waltzing with Matilda, do you want to come waltzing with Matilda and me? And he sang as waited for his kettle to boil, want to come waltzing with Matilda and me?_ You know, I've always wondered about that song…" mused Sirius. "I mean, what sort of a title is 'Waltzing with Matilda?"

"First, Sirius, it's just Waltzing Matilda, Second, can you please be qui-" Remus was cut off by Sirius as he began to sing again, deciding he didn't mind about the strange title.

"_Up came a jumping bat to swim at that billy-a-bang, Up jumped the jelly slug-man and stole his mon-ney, and he sang as he shoved that jumping bat in his schoo-ool bag, you'll come a waltzing with Matilda and me_!"

Remus' mutter of 'those aren't even the right words' was drowned out as Sirius sang the chorus loudly, then moved onto the next verse.

"_Up flew the ministry official mounted on his Cle-eansweep, Down came the Aurors, _Ex-pel-liar-mus_! Who does that jumping bat be-e-e-e-long to, You'll have to come waltzing with Matilda and me_!"

"What on earth is going on?" cried Lily, walking down from the girls dormitories. "It sounded like a Banshee with a sore throat!"

"Sirius is attempting to sing traditional Australian Muggle songs," said Remus.

"Why is 'attempting' in there?" demanded Sirius.

Remus looked pointedly at a group of first years who were huddled in the corner with the hands over their ears. Sirius shrugged and started up again.

"_Up jumped the jelly slug-man and committed suicide, yelling 'you'll never ever catch me alive!', And his ghost still lurks a-about that billy-a-bang, singing and waltzing with Mat-il-da!"_

"Oh good, are you finished?" groaned Remus.

"Yep!" said Sirius. "What shall I sing next?"

"Oh please no," muttered Lily. "Spare us the horror!"

"Hey guys!" said James, walking into the Common room.

"Where have you been?" asked Remus, "You were meant to have been back ages ago!"

"Yeah, but I could hear a Banshee wailing, and thought I better wait outside till it stopped."

"Hey! That's two of you that think I sound like a Banshee!"

"Just telling it like it is, Pads." James threw himself onto the floor next to Lily and took her hand. Sirius sighed.

"Well, seeing as no one appreciates my singing, what do you say to a game?"

"Of what?" asked Lily hesitantly as Remus and James groaned.

"Of The Game, of course!"

"_The_ Game?"

"Yes, _The_ Game."

"Well, what is _The_ Game?"

"So you'll play? Brilliant!"

"I never said-"

"Prongs, you in mate?"

"Well, I guess I better, just to make sure that you don't-"

"Okay then. Moony?"

"Well actually-"

"Brilliant!"

"Pads-"

"Nuh-uh Moony, you're in. Lils, go get Alice and other people… it's no fun with just four. James, go get food. I'll find Peter. Moony, You just sit tight here and _under no circumstances_, and I mean _no_ circumstances, even if the common room catches on fire, or you to run off. Some-one might steal our spot."

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><p>A few minutes later and everyone was sitting down in a circle in front of the fire. Everyone included Sirius, James, Remus, Lily, Peter, Alice Prewett, Frank Longbottom and Hestia Jones. Frank shared the Marauders dormitory, and Hestia and Alice shared Lily's and were her best friends (also the girlfriends of Sirius and Frank respectively.)<p>

By now, they had all come to the realization that the game Sirius wanted to play was some form of Truth or Dare.

"Alright, as I picked the Game and made the rules, I get to go first," said Sirius.

"Hold up," said Alice, "You said 'rules', as in plural. You only told us that we can't pick the person that picked us."

"Oh yes, sorry about that," said Sirius. "Right, rules." Instead of going off on a long speech like everyone expected him too, he waved his wand, and sixteen pieces of parchment flew down the stairs and separated into two different piles. He then waved his wand a second time, and writing appeared on one of the piles of parchment. He then handed out one of these to each person. "Here you go." He then set to work on the second pile, muttering several incantations before handing that out to the others as well. Lily, Hestia, Alice and Frank were confused.

"What's this for?" asked Lily.

"The Game," said Sirius, "is not an ordinary game of Truth or Dare. Read the rules."

Lily glanced at her parchment and began to read.

_THE GAME_

_GENERAL OVERVIEW_

_The person who suggested to play the game goes first. They must pick someone and ask them Truth or Dare. The person asked MUST ANSWER. They must answer their truth or do their dare. If they don't, the person who gave them the dare may come up with three alternatives with NO RULES and then they will be voted on by the others. If that is not completed, they will go a day stark naked. Yes, that really is a rule. These parchments have been charmed so that the moment your quill touches the paper you will have an urge to comply to the rules._

_The Game will last for an entire week, never ending (YES, that is twenty-four hours!) Ask your questions/give dares using the other parchment. If one person writes something, it will appear on everyone else's, also. Don't worry, Lillikins, If a teacher (or anyone else) looks at the parchment, it will simply look like notes from the subject you are in at the time or that you last had. Yeah, it took us ages to find that spell. You will receive a watch which will become warm when someone has written something on the parchment. It will also wake you up during the night if your name is written on the parchment. The time on the watch is not the time, but the amount of time left until the end of the game. (See rule #12 for more info)_

_The rules are written below. If you break the rules, the punishment is the same as the chicken. _

_ Have fun!_

_RULES_

_1. You cannot pick the person who picked you._

_2. You cannot play in teams; that is a different game._

_3. You cannot give a dare that includes being completely naked (unless it is a chicken.)_

_4. You cannot harm anyone other than a Slytherin or one who is on the Marauder hit list (such as Amos Diggory.)_

_5. You cannot _permanently_ change some-ones appearance or damage any property._

_6. For the duration of the game you can't tell anyone you are playing a game or doing a dare._

_7. Truths can't be repeated to any person not playing._

_8. You can't let anyone else see your parchment._

_9. You must complete (or at least start, if it is a long one) your dare within an hour of receiving it, unless it is a dare that can only be performed at a certain time, say, lunch, or if the darer says 'after classes finish' or something similar._

_10. You must wear your watch at all times._

_11. You must pick someone else within five minutes of your dare/truth ending._

_12. If someone is put in detention, the game pauses and the extra time is added to the end._

_13. **RULES MAY BE ADDED IF THEY ARE PASSED BY A 75% MAJORITY**__. (Note from Sirius: for those of you who can't do that percentage in your head, with 8 people playing that's 6 people that must agree.)_

Lily paused as she finished reading. Then something registered in her mind.

"This is going to last for _a whole week!_" she shrieked.

"Whoa, calm Lils!" soothed Sirius, "It's okay! Christmas holidays are next week, we won't get any assignments due before then, and we can do our usual homework and play at the same time."

"Well, I guess…"

"I've done it before Lily, don't worry," said Remus.

"Well, I guess then…"

"Lighten up, Lily! This sounds fun!" exclaimed Hestia. Alice nodded in agreement, while Frank continued to stare wide eyed at the page.

"So, when do we start?" asked Alice.

"Eight," said James. "Everyone must be at breakfast tomorrow morning by five to eight in order to receive watches, then the Game will begin."

"But tomorrow's Monday," whined Hestia. "I the waking up that early on a Monday…"

"Hest, our classes start at eight thirty!" said Alice.

"I know that, but I don't need half an hour to eat!" growled Hestia.

"Hang on a sec," said Frank as he re-read the rules, "Do people often get into detention while playing this game?"

"Duh," said Sirius. "It's basically truth or dare."

"So, yes then?"

"You know," mused Lily, "I had never gotten into detention before I met you lot."

"I thought you met us on the first day of Hogwarts?" said Peter, frowning. Sirius guffawed and reached across to high five him.

"You know what I mean," shrugged Lily. "I got my first ever detention two days after I started to date James. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"James is really good at teaching people how to have fun?"

"Urgh. I give up."

"Really? That's not like you."

"Shut up, James!"

"Sorry!"

"Alright! Quiet!" cried Remus. "If we are going to play the Game this week, we all need to get as much rest as we can for we won't be getting much until next Sunday! So, everyone needs to get a quill and sign in on the paper."

"How do we do that?" asked Alice, pulling out a quill.

"Easy. Just write the pass code, and then Alice Prewett, signing in," said Sirius.

"What's the pass code?" asked Frank. "And why is there one?"

"Because other whys anyone could join in on the conversation," said Remus, the he leaned in and said quietly, "the pass code is _Jumping Jiffer-Jugs._"

"We needed something no-one would guess," Sirius explained when everyone raised their eyebrows. "Oh, and the first letter of your name will appear after what you have written. That way we don't have to try and decipher handwriting."

Shaking her head, Lily wrote on the parchment. The others followed her lead.

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Lily Evans, signing in. –L_

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, James Potter, signing in. –J_

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Sirius Black, signing in. –S_

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Peter Pettigrew, signing in. –P_

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Frank Longbottom, signing in. –F_

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Alice Prewett, signing in. –A_

_Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Hestia Jones, signing in. –H_

"Moony..." said Sirius in what he probably thought was a threatening tone.

"Fine," muttered Remus.

__Jumping Jiffer-Jugs, Remus Lupin, signing in. –R__

The writing appeared on everyone's parchment.

"Great," said Remus. "Now, let's get some rest. We'll need it."

"And don't forget," said James, after kissing Lily good night, "Five to Eight. No excuses."

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><p><strong>So, does it sound interesting enough? As I said before, Suggestions are very welcome!<strong>

**And don't worry, the next chapters will be longer. I just wanted to explain the Game in this one.  
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	2. The Beginning and Quotations

**Let the Game Begin! I was originally going to do the entire Monday as one chapter, but it would take too long. This covers breakfast and through the first two lessons.**

**Disclaimer: I really don't own anything other than my dare ideas...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

MONDAY MORNING: The Beginning and Quotations

Lily woke up with a feeling of dread. It was odd; today was just a usual day, with usual routine…

Then she remembered.

Then she closed her eyes again, trying to forget.

Then she wondered if she could go back to sleep.

Then she groaned.

"Yeah," said Hestia. "I'm not looking forward to it either."

"I thought you thought it was going to be fun," said Lily.

"That was yesterday," replied Hestia, raking a brush through her hair as Lily started to change. "Then, after a night full of horrid dreams about what those boys could make us do for an _entire week_ – you did read that bit about twenty four hours, non-stop, right – and the realization that we could spend the entire week either in detention or spilling our darkest secrets, yeah, I realized that this 'aint gonna be fun."

"Urgh," moaned Alice, walking out of the bathroom. "Tell me about it."

"Why oh why, did we agree to this," muttered Lily.

"Well, it was that or listen to Sirius sing…" muttered Hest. The girls thought for while, but were interrupted as Lily looked at her watch and shrieked;

"We're going to be late! We've got five minutes to get down there!" Not wanting to think about what the boy would do if they _were_ late, they hurriedly got ready and sprinted down to the Great Hall… to find that the Marauders had not yet arrived.

They skidded into the hall just a few seconds after them, panting hard. The two groups glanced at each other and burst out laughing, then took a seat.

"Morning, said Lily, sliding between Remus and Hestia in an attempt to avoid Sirius' eating habits.

"Bit late, aren't you boys?" smirked Alice.

"Oh no," said Sirius. "We told you to get here before five to eight, but that was because we knew you would be a few minutes late anyway. We are going to be handing out the watches at eight o'clock sharp."

"Well damn," muttered Hestia. "I should have known you wouldn't have forgotten."

"'Course not," said Sirius, spraying the egg that seemed to have materialized in his mouth all over Peter, "This is the best game in the world, and Moony only ever lets us play once a year. Not to mention that this is our last year here!"

"Two minutes," said Remus calmly as he poured himself some orange juice. In reality, he was extremely nervous… and very excited at the same time, though he would never admit that. James and Sirius came up with horrible dares and their truth questions were just as bad if not worse, but the game was still extremely fun.

"Right then," said James, pulling a bag out of his pocket. "I have a watch for everyone, with you're name on it. You all remember what they do?"

Everyone nodded, and James passed the watches around.

"Do we have to start it or something?" asked Lily as she examined the watch. The screen was not an analog clock, rather more like a Muggle digital watch, except instead of square shaped numbers they were written in a flowing script. It was paused on one-hundred and sixty-eight hours, zero minutes and zero seconds. They all put their watches on their wrists.

"Moony will count down," said James, "and the moment he says 'now' you must tap your watch and say '_Badissium_'. Everyone, make sure you say it at the same time. Last time Pete was two seconds out from the rest of us and-"

"One minute," said Remus.

"Quick everyone," said Peter, "eat now before the game begins!"

Lily and Alice started to nibble on some toast, while Hestia merely sipped some juice.

"Thirty seconds."

Lily pulled out her wand, sighing.

"Fifteen."

_Here goes nothing,_ she thought.

"Ten, nine, eight…"

Sirius was almost exploding with excitement, and Peter seemed to be bouncing up and down. The girls were looking very nervous, and Remus passive as he stared at his real watch.

"…three, two, one, now!"

"_Badissium!"_

Sirius immediately reached for his quill and wrote on the parchment beside his plate. Suddenly, Lily felt her watch grow warm. Remembering what this meant she reached into her pocket and pulled out the parchment Sirius had given her the night before. Underneath where everyone had signed in where the words;

_Pete, T or D? –S_

As Lily watched, more writing appeared as if an invisible hand were writing them.

_Truth to start. –P_

"Aww, come on, Wormtail," groaned Sirius, "You're so boring."

"Wait, have we started already?" asked Frank.

"Yeah, it starts the moment the watches are set," explained James. "As Sirius suggested we play, he goes first. Remember, if you don't start immediately you get a chicken…"

Everyone nodded as the watches warmed again.

_Fine then. How often do you follow that fifth year Ravenclaw prefect around the Castle when she does her rounds? –S_

Peter groaned audibly as James snickered.

"Does he have to answer?" asked Hestia.

"Did you not read the rules?" said Sirius, playfully shoving her shoulder and knocking the juice of the table as he went.

"Hey! You almost covered my new shoes in pumpkin juice! Gah!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and glanced down at his parchment.

_Twice a week… -P_

"Peter…" Tutted Sirius.

_Lily, T or D? –P_

"Do we have to do everything on the parchment?" asked Frank.

"Yes, or people might overhear," said James.

Lily frowned. It was only the second turn, and she had to go already. She sighed, realizing that she was actually lucky; at least it wasn't James or Sirius asking…

_T. –L_

"Aw, man, you guys are soooo boring," groaned Sirius.

Peter sighed. He didn't want to offend Lily, so he tried to pick an easy question…

_Which Marauder do you think is the best looking? –P_

"Wat sort of a question is that?" exclaimed Sirius. "Mind you, Lils, if you know whats good for you…"

_James. –L_

"WHAT?" yelled Sirius. But it was forgotten as Lily started to write again.

_Sirius, T or D?_ -L

_Dare, of course. I'm not like any of you chickens… I crave adventure! –S_

_Oh, you do, do you? –L_

'_Course. –S_

_Well, in that case… -L_

_Come on, Lilikins, hurry up! –S_

_Oh, you are in for it now. Jump onto the table, shoot red sparks out of your wand to attract everyone's attention and then, when everyone is watching, rub tomato sauce in your hair and stay like that for the rest of the day. –L_

Lily looked up from her parchment to see six faces looking at her in glee, and one in horror.

"No! NO! Not my hair, anything but my hair!" gasped Sirius.

"I love you," said James, "So much."

"I know," smirked Lily.

"Brilliant!" grinned Remus.

Sirius started to bang his head on the table.

"Need I remind you, Sirius, you were the one that suggested the game and gave the rules. So, up you hop, or would you like a chicken?" grinned Lily.

Sirius paled and immediately jumped onto the table.

Immediately, almost every face in the hall turned to look at him, and he had their entire attention before he even sent the sparks up into the air.

"Mr. Black! What is the meaning of this?" Lily stifled her laughter as Professor McGonagall strode towards them.

"Sorry Professor," said Sirius, won't be moment, I promise." And then he bent down, squeezed some sauce into his hands, straightened up and then started to massage the sauce into his hair like it was mousse.

The hall was completely silent for a few moments.

Then it erupted.

One quarter of the hall (namely the Slytherin table) erupted into jeers and insults.

A just less than a half of what was left (namely Sirius' and most of James' fan club) began to wail in horror.

And everybody else began to laugh.

"Mr. Black!" exclaimed McGonagall. "Get off the table this instant and have a shower! And if you are even nearly late for my lesson…"

"I'm sorry Professor," said Sirius, "But I won't be able to have a shower and not be late… you see… Class starts in ten minutes and-"

"Then you will have to stay like that for the rest of the day, and I better not hear any complaining!" The she strode off, shaking her head and muttering, "I swear, they'll be the death of me… My own house, too…"

Lily glanced and James questioningly.

"We can't tell the teachers what we're doing, remember?" he said. "Sirius had to complete your dare, and that mean he can't shower…" Lily nodded to show she understood.

Sirius glared at Lily, then reached for his parchment.

_Hestia, T or D?_ –S

Hestia smirked, thinking that as Sirius was her boyfriend, she was somewhat safe.

_D. –H_

_Let me do your makeup and keep it that way 'till lunch. –S_

Oh, how wrong she was.

Hestia groaned, but obediently grabbed her bag and walked out of the hall, Sirius trailing behind her, his hair matted with sauce and sticking to his face.

"Come on," said Remus, "We better hurry or we'll be late to class."

The six of them hopped up and dashed to Transfiguration, their first lesson of the day, which they shared with the Hufflepuffs. Not long after, Hestia and Sirius walked in, both looking horribly sad.

Hestia looked comical. She had blue eye-shadow on her cheeks, probably trying to be blush, purple lipstick lining her eyebrows, huge amounts of eyeliner – which had been applied clumsily – neon green mascara and glittering, bright yellow lip-gloss. When Lily saw her, she had difficulties containing her laughter. A quick glance to her left showed Alice, Frank and Remus having the same problem. James and Peter, however, were not so considerate and burst out in loud guffaws.

Hest glared at them, sat down and pulled out her stuff, and began writing.

_Oh, you've asked for it. –H_

Then immediately after;

_James, T or D? –H_

_Do you have to ask? D. –J_

_Start teaching the lesson. Now. –H_

James' eyes widened, but he stood up and moved to the front of the room. McGonagall had not yet arrived.

He cleared his throat, and the class quieted to stare at him. The Gryffindors were once again shaking with laughter.

"Good morning, class," said James. "Your teacher is away this morning, so I will be standing in today. Now, I believe you were up to learning how to change Slytherins into a form that matches their intelligence, am I correct?"

By now, the entire class was struggling to hold in their giggles.

"Now, this is a very useful spell. Several of you may remember Sirius kindly demonstrating it for us in the entrance hall on Saturday afternoon." The class laughed again, remembering the day Snape had turned into a bat and had been forced to fly to McGonagall's office to be turned back. "Right, well, wands out, and repeat after me; _Aequilibrius!"_

"_Aequilibrius_," chanted the class.

"Right, now, the incantation alone is not enough. What you must do is visualize what you want to happen; a little bit like with a Boggart. But with this spell, you must imagine your… victim to be fading into mist. Can I have a volunteer for a demonstration?" asked James. When no one stood up, he pointed to Hestia. "Hestia, stand up, if you please."

"James…" she warned.

"I'm merely teaching the class," he winked. Hestia glared, but stood up anyway.

"Right then," said James. Everyone watch and learn. _Aequilibrius_!"

Professor McGonagall walked through the door just in time to see Hestia turn into a beautiful Siamese cat.

"Potter!" She screeched. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Well, you were late, professor, so I just though that I would make sure that everyone learnt something while we waited! We wouldn't want to be wasting time with NEWTs coming up and all," said James. He said it so sincerely, Lily might have believed him if she didn't know better.

"Really?" said McGonagall. "Well, you needn't worry any longer. Five points from Gryffindor. Sit down, now!" she waved her wand to restore Hestia back to normal, and then began a long winded lecture about human transformation, which, after James' demonstration, seemed a little dull. Lily jumped as she felt her wrist warm up.

_Alice, T or D?_ –J

Alice looked terrified, but decided to go with the dare anyway. She didn't want to seem weak in front of Frank.

_D. –A_

_Brilliant. –J_

_Oh dear, don't like the sound of that. –H_

_You do something bad to Ali, James, and you'll wish you were never born. –L_

_Oh, so when I get dressed like a clown, oh fine, go ahead, but when _she_ is going to be dared… -H_

_Oh, get a grip, Hest. Come on James, I want to know what that dare is! –S_

_Don't you DARE tell me to get a grip, Sirius Black! –H_

_Ha ha, dare! –S_

_Urgh, you are hopeless! –H_

_He's right though… hurry up, James! –P_

_Alright then… dun, dun, DUN! –J_

_Oh, get on with it already! –R_

_Fine. –J_

_James… -R_

_Alice Prewett, I dare you to quote (that is, famous people, not us) for the rest of the day. No other form of talking (this includes writing on the parchment, by the way) allowed. And you must speak when spoken to. No trying to just not speak. You must also answer every question a Prof. asks. –J_

… _-A_

_Is that fair? That seemed like more than one dare joined to together.. It's awfully elaborate. –F_

_Yeah, he can do that. –R_

_I must admit, I'm impressed. It's a good dare.–L_

_Why thank you! –bows- -J_

_No, really. Alice knows all sorts of things like that. It's the perfect dare for her. –L_

_I'm just that brilliant! -J_

_The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.__ –A_

_Wow. Just wow. If you weren't a girl Alice, I would ask you to join the Marauders. -S_

_Hey! –J_

Just then, Professor McGonagall asked a question.

"Can some-one please tell me three laws regarding shape-shifting?"

Alice, trembling, raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Prewett?"

"If the law is upheld only by government officials, then all law is at an end."

"Excuse me?"

"A real failure does not need an excuse. It is an end in itself."

"Prewett! Either answer the question or do not speak at all!"

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

"Then why do you not heed your own advice?"

"A leader must have the courage to act against an expert's advice."

"Another Five points from Gryffindor! And hold your tongue!"

This time, Alice was able to remain silent as McGonagall had not asked an explicit question.

_That was amazing! –S_

_How do you know all of those? –R_

_There is creative reading as well as creative writing. –A_

_She means she reads books full of Muggle quotes in her spare time… it's what I get her for Christmas every year. –L_

_Why Muggle quotes? –R_

_Don't judge a book by it's cover. –A_

_Erm… -P_

_I think she means that they are better than you think. –R_

_Anyway, shouldn't Alice be T or D-ing some-one? –S_

_A writer is unfair to himself when he is unable to be hard on himself. –A_

_What does that have to do with anything? –S_

_A writer is unfair to himself when he is UNABLE to be hard on himself. –A_

_? –S_

_I CAN'T believe this is happening to me. The weirdest thing is it was just a dream, and now it's actually real. –A_

_Oooooohhhh. –S_

_Took you long enough. –L_

_So, what do we do? –P_

_I propose a rule change. Who agrees to an introduction of rule fourteen; the person doing the dare may take leave of the dare (if nessecary) in order to dare another person or participate in another dare, but must then resume the previous dare as soon as possible. –R_

_Aye. –J_

_Aye. –L_

_Aye... we need to get the game moving again. We only have… 167 hours left! Oh, the horror! –S_

_Just a simple 'Aye' would have sufficed, Sirius. –L_

_I wrote Aye, didn't I? –S_

_Aye. –P_

_Aye. –H_

_Aye. –F_

_Now a soft kiss - AYE, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. –A_

_Rule change passed with a 100% majority. –R_

_Great. Well, now that's sorted, can we please get on with the game? –S_

_Frank, T or D? –A_

_D. I've seen what you've all had to do, but really, could it be worse?. –F_

_Well, it could, but as Alice is the one that is going to dare you.. I'd say no. -S  
><em>

The conversation was cut short as McGonagall reached the end of her lecture.

"Are there any questions?"

"To be, or not to be, _that_ is the question."

"Miss Prewett, why are you acting so out of character? Explain yourself!"

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see."

"Miss Prewett, kindly wait outside the classroom. I will talk to you later."

"Absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment." And with that, Alice smiled and skipped out of the room. She was enjoying herself… even though she was certain she was about to get into terrible trouble.

When she got outside the room, she sat on the floor and pulled out her parchment.

_Frank, what class do you have next? (And yes, guys, this is relevant to the dare I'll give him.) –A_

_I didn't pick truth. –F_

_I know. Why would I ask such a terrible question for a truth? –A_

_Care of Magical Creatures. –F_

_And we have Divination, Al. –L_

_I know that… hmm… -A_

Then the bell rang for the next class.

Lily, James and Remus waited for Alice while McGonagall talked to her. It seemed McGonagall was getting frustrated, but when Alice walked up to the others, she looked amused.

"I think McGonagall knows what we're doing," she said. "She never said so, but she seemed suspicious… she said she was impressed by my knowledge of quotes, but would prefer it if I spoke normally in class."

"McGonagall always does that," said Sirius. "When you think she's going to murder you, she goes and becomes all nice. But that's not the most important thing. You just spoke normally then."

Alice's eyes widened.

"It's okay, you get one slip up," said Sirius, then he wagged his finger. "But next time, BE WARNED!"

Unable to think of an appropriate quote, Alice just nodded.

The moment they settled into their seats in Divination, the four of them pulled out their parchments.

_Frank, your dare: while you are in CoMC, tell Prof. Kettleburn that you saw an efrit by the lake yesterday… -A_

_What on earth is an efrit? –F_

_Just make sure you remember his reaction well… I wish I could be there. –A_

_Erm, all right then. –F_

"It is really good that you are so enthusiastic for my class, but if you could please put away your parchment… we will revising tea leaves today…" said Professor Alby in her dreamy voice. "You all remember how to read tea leaves, I presume?"

"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now," muttered Alice. The others snorted.

"What was that, dear?" asked Alby.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives."

"Ah, I always knew you had the aura of a true seer," appraised Alby, then she glided to the front of the room in order to oversee the distribution of tea.

As they drained their teacups, they noticed their watches warming again. After checking Ably wasn't watching, they all dived for their parchments. Lily smiled as she realized how into the game she was getting.

_Wow, I was not expecting that. –F_

_What happened? –H_

_He froze, paled, fainted, woke up, mumbled about Dementors and butterflies – not sure what that was about – then ran off to get Dumbledore… -F_

_Nice. –J_

_Your turn now! –S_

_Alright… Remus, T or D. –F_

_T. I've seen these dares that are going on today… -R_

_Okay then. Who was the first person you kissed? –F_

_Not sure, but it was probably my mother. –R_

_Hey, that's not fair! –F_

_Yeah it is. I answered the question correctly. You'll learn to navigate questions like that – it's the only way to survive playing TorD with James and Sirius. Pete, T or D? –R_

_D, this time, I think… -P_

_You're in CoMC too, right? –R_

_Yeah. –P_

_What creature are you studying? –R_

_Thestrals. –P_

_Can you see them? –R_

_No, you know that. –P_

_Okay then. When one comes close, pretend to be having a fit because you think you are seeing things due to the fact that there is meat that 'disappears by itself.' When they tell you it's normal, groan and mutter something along the lines of 'false alarm... but it was just like the other time when I saw thing others didn't…' –R_

_But they'll think I'm mad! –P_

_What do you think they thought of me this morning? –S_

_That's different. They already know you're mad. –L_

_Hest then. –S_

_Fine… -P_

_Good Luck. –L_

"Concentrating, please", called Alby. Glaring at the four Gryffindors. Alice, Lily, Remus and James sighed and looked back at their cups.

"Apparently, Moony," said James, "You are going to become very wealthy."

"I doubt that."

"Alice, I think you're going to die before you turn thirteen…"

"Lily, I think you need your Inner Eye tested," muttered James.

"What do you see Alice?" asked Remus.

"Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life."

Their laughter was drowned out by the bell, which signaled the start of break.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you like it? <strong>

**Once again, if you have any dare ideas, feel free to share. I have a whole week to fill. ;)**

**By the way, those incantations were pretty much just made up... I got _Badissium_ from the Latin word for go (Badisso) and _aequilibrius _from the Latin word for equilibrium (aequilibrium) because I am so uncreative...**

**Also, to put credit where it belongs, I got the quotes from the _brainyquote_ website, and then a few were from Alice in Wonderland, and then a couple from the top of my head (those were the Shakespeare ones, mainly...). I know it is very unlikely that Alice would know all these quotes, but it was fun to write. Sorry if people don't like it...**


	3. Bad Words and Ravens

**Here's the next chapter! Hope it lives up to all expectations and makes some one laugh!**

**This one does have mild coarse language... just as a warning. It is rated T though, so that should be fine. :)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: Too bad so sad, it's still not mine. Oh, how I wish...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

MONDAY MORNING: Bad words and Ravens.

"So, how was Care of Magical Creatures?" smirked Lily as they walked up to where Frank, Sirius and Hestia were standing in the courtyard.

"Brilliant," grinned Sirius, high-fiving Remus.

"Where's Wormtail?" asked James.

"Hospital Wing," said Frank, glaring Remus as Sirius began to snigger. "Professor Kettleburn thought it was best he got his 'visions' seen to by Madam Pomfrey."

"Man, that ones going to be hard to explain," said James, rubbing the back of his neck. "I hope Wormtail thinks fast."

"Er, this is Wormtail we're talking about, you know," said Sirius, still laughing.

"Exactly," said James, "That's why I said 'I _hope._'"

After a couple of minutes of messing around and swapping stories, Peter finally found the opportunity to write on his parchment.

_Remus, I can't believe you did that to me. –P_

_Aw, come on Pete, you know it's just a Game, right? –R_

_Course. Right, Sirius, T or D?_

_DARE! –S_

_Okay… I dare you to end every sentence with the word 'Bitch' until you get a detention. And I mean until you get a detention for saying Bitch all the time, not from doing something else. Oh, and you also have to be extra cheeky to teachers. –P_

_Pete, that's, that's, well, BRILLIANT! High five, mate! –J_

_Why, thank you. –P_

_Do you really think that's a good idea? And is he allowed to add a second part to the end like that? –L_

_Hell yeah! –R_

_Remus, I expected better from you! –L_

_Don't mind him, he gets just as caught up in this game as the rest of us… well, the rest of us not including you, Lils, apparently. –J_

_Oh, and that reminds me of my question; do I have to end my sentences with Bitch while I'm writing, or just talking? –S_

_Just talking. –P_

_Where are you, by the way, Peter? –F_

_Hospital Wing. –P_

_Still? –F_

_Yeah. Madam Pomfrey wants to keep me over night… but she's in her office right now, so don't worry – I'll keep playing. –P_

_You better. –J_

_Sorry, Pete, we've got to go now or we'll be late for class. We'll keep writing so you know what happens to Sirius, all right? –H_

_Thanks. –P_

"What do we have next?" asked James.

"Herbology," said Lily.

"Great," said Frank as Alice smiled happily, still unable to talk in anything other than quotes. They all walked down towards the Greenhouses.

"Ugh, I hate Herbology," said Sirius, "It's so boring, Bitch."

"It's not that bad," said Lily, then she stopped and looked around and Sirius. "What did you just say?"

"It's so boring, Bitch?"

Lily sighed.

"Honestly, did Peter really have to give you that dare?"

"It's got to be the best one he's ever come up with, to be honest," said James.

"Best as in, the cleverest, or the most scarring to the person doing the dare?"

"Best as in the cleverest. You really think this will scar Sirius?" snorted Remus, "Really, this sort of dare is for entertainment for the other players. Just plain embarrassment gets boring after a week, you know?"

"Boring?" asked Hestia in a high-pitched voice, "How dare you say that my looking like a clown is boring! If I'm going to look hideous, I might as well be amusing someone, but apparently I'm not even doing that!"

"I don't think you look hideous, Bitch," said Sirius. "I think you look beautiful in what ever you wear, Bitch."

"Of course you do," said Hestia in a offhand tone, although her eyes softened. "It's in your job description."

Lily shook her head and sighed again as she walked through the door James held open for her.

They were a little late, having dallied in the courtyard talking with Peter on the parchment, so when they entered the greenhouse everyone was already in place.

Professor Sprout looked a little surprised – and then suspicious – as they all walked in, and Lily couldn't really blame her. Hestia still looked like a clown, Sirius' hair was still plastered to his face with Tomato sauce, and they were all clutching identical pieces of parchment. And that wasn't even the beginning.

_Just wait 'till we start talking,_ thought Lily. _There's two of us that can't speak properly already, and that number is only likely to go up._

"Would you like to explain why you are so late?" asked Sprout.

Alice, due to her dare, was forced to answer.

"How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?" she recited.

"Miss Prewett! Answer the question, please!"

"It gets late early out there," said Alice in a tone that suggested she was explaining something to a small child.

"Time moves at the same pace out there as it does in here, Miss Prewett," said Sprout sternly, "And that's a point from Gryffindor for cheek. Now, sit down please. Mr. Black, of you could please tell me why _you _are late?"

"We lost track of time, Bitch," said Sirius with a smirk.

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused, Bitch," he said, living up to the 'you must also be extra cheeky to teachers' part of the dare.

"Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"At this rate there won't be any left," groaned Lily.

"Oh, lighten up, Bitch."

"Sirius Black! Stop this foul language this instant!"

"I don't know what you mean, Bitch."

"If you call some-one a Bitch one more time-"

"Man, I thought professors weren't allowed to use words like that, Bitch!"

"Another twenty points from Gryffindor! That's thirty you've lost now, so you'd better keep that dirty mouth of yours shut!"

"My mouth isn't dirty, professor, I brushed my teeth this morning, honest, Bitch."

"Sit down all of you! I would like to get on with my class!"

"What!" said Frank as they took their seats by Alice, "I though for sure she'd give him a detention!"

"Don't worry," said Sirius, "I'm not done yet, Bitch."

_How's it going? –P_

_No detention yet. –J_

_Good, I had worried that maybe it wouldn't last very long… you know how teachers get. –P_

_We're with Sprout, though. –J_

_True, but she can still be stern. –P_

"Today we will be pruning the Venomous Tentacula," said Professor Sprout.

"Oh no," moaned Hestia, along with the rest of the class. The Venomous Tentacula was known to be particularly violent when people attempted to chop off parts of it's anatomy.

"Now, everyone must be very careful, and must wear their dragon hide gloves. The correct way to prune the Tentacula is like this…" she explained how to prune the vicious plant, and then pulled off her gloves. "Are there any questions?"

Alice and Sirius both spoke up at the same time.

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers."

"Of course, Bitch."

"Alice Prewett, please keep your opinions to yourself! Sirius Black, this is your _last_ warning! Now, are there any questions relating to the subject?"

"All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind."

"I already told you I had a question, Bitch! Why won't you answer me, Bitch? You are supposed to be my teacher, Bitch!"

"SIRIUS BLACK!" thundered Professor Sprout. "Detention! Meet me in my office at seven o'clock tonight, understand?"

"Yes professor," said Sirius, a smile on his face.

* * *

><p>The rest of that lesson went by fairly normally – save for James almost getting bitten by the venomous tentacula and then 'accidentally' setting it one fire – as the Gryffindors decided to pick truths so that they didn't send Professor Sprout into a rage.<p>

Over the course of the lesson, they learnt that James always went into frenzies before a Quidditch match and could only be calmed with a hot shower, large amounts of jam and a certain purple sock, that Hestia was deathly afraid of frogs, Alice couldn't stand the fact that Frank _always_ opened doors, pulled out chairs and carried her books (she said that at first it was sweet, but that months of feeling like a helpless damsel was _very_ irritating), that Sirius did in fact own a hair straightening potion and that Lily once got a warning from the ministry for hexing her sister ("She was trying to burn my schoolbooks! I couldn't just _let_ her!")

Time seemed to fly by, and soon it was lunch. Hestia immediately raced to the bathroom and when she returned, she had a blissful smile on her make-up free face. Sirius, as per usual, was shoving food into his mouth at a rate that made Lily wonder if chickens were on the verge of extinction and the others were watching him with disgust.

_James, truth or dare? –L_

_Dare. Now that we're out of Sprouts class we can get back to the fun stuff! –J_

_Okay. I dare you to go and slip this into Snape's drink. –L_

_What? –J_

James looked up, raising his eyebrows at Lily. She was normally solidly against any form of pranking towards Snape, even after that incident in fifth year after the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

Lily merely shrugged, and gave James a small vial filled with clear liquid. Hestia and Alice giggled, recognizing the bottle immediately. They had been with Lily when she had confiscated it from a Ravenclaw fifth year the day before.

"What is that?" asked James curiously.

"You'll see," grinned Lily.

"This is so out of character," said Sirius after a large swallow. He frowned and put his hand on Lily's forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, rolling her eyes, "I just get tired of Snape's mood swings. He's always either telling me that I'm a filthy mudblood, or begging me to take him back. It's getting on my nerves, and I would very much like to give him the biggest mood change he's ever had! Now go, James, do your dare!"

James frowned – Lily's logic didn't seem very, well, logical to him – but did as he was told.

He pulled out his invisibility cloak, as Lily hadn't said he couldn't use it, and, while Sirius distracted all the people that didn't know of his cloak, he covered himself up and ran over to the Slytherin table. After that it was easy.

"Now we wait," said Lily happily as James slid back next to her.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, then Hestia pointed to the Slytherins.

"Look!" she squealed.

Snape had stood up and begun walking to the high table. In his hands were a bunch of ugly looking flowers that he had obviously just conjured up.

When he reached the table, he stopped in front of Professor McGonagall.

"Minerva!" he cried. "Oh, my beautiful Minerva! I have been tortured, these past few years, forced to watch you for hours a week, but unable to do anything about my urges! But now, I am of age, and I have managed to luck up the courage to tell you how I feel!"

Professor McGonagall had turned white with anger, her lips pressed together in a line so thin it caused Lily to wonder that they didn't disappear altogether. All of the students were in hysterics, and the teachers were not much better – only a few could contain their laughter, and they were struggling – but none were laughing so much as the seventh year Gryffindors.

"Love….Potion…" gasped Remus.

"Amazing!" James managed to choke out.

"Best… Dare… Ever!" giggled Hestia.

Alice nodded in agreement, either unable to find a suitable quote or laughing to hard to talk. It was probably the latter.

If Lily's body wasn't overflowing with amusement, she might have felt a little smug.

None of them could stop laughing; Snape was still talking.

"…but if you don't feel the same way, I understand. I am but a mere student, while you are a powerful , experienced professor. However, I will never stop hoping. I'll be here, waiting, for the rest of my life…"

"SEVERUS SNAPE, STOP THIS INSTANT!" shrieked McGonagall, getting out of her state of shock.

"Anything for you, my love," murmured Snape, but it was heard by everyone.

Professor Dumbledore raised his wand and shot a couple of firecrackers into the air, effectively quieting the hall, although a couple of sniggers could still be heard.

"Professor Slughorn, if you would be so kind as to take Mr. Snape to your office and whip up an antidote?"

"Of course, Albus," said Slughorn, still chuckling. "Come along, boy."

"No!" cried out Snape. "I have waited for this moment for such a long time, and now that it has come about I will not leave my love until she has ordered me from her presence!"

"She's in a bit of stress right now," said Slughorn. "She needs some time. But, in my office I have some things for the nerves, you know?"

"Oh yes," nodded Snape, "I think that would do nicely."

"Come along, then."

The moment the got out of the door, everyone erupted into laughter again.

This time the firecrackers burst out of McGonagall's wand.

"If I find out who was responsible for this," she said in a deadly quiet voice, "They will _wish_ that they were expelled." Her gaze lingered on the Marauders.

Lily gulped.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," muttered Alice.

"You're joking right?" asked Hestia. "If she finds out, we're expelled! Or dead!"

"No, we aren't," said Frank. "Think about it; the Marauders have done much worse than this, and they haven't ever been expelled. Also, she can't physically hurt us. This is a school you know. It's not like she can make us write lines in our own blood, or hang us up on the roof by our thumbs."

"You know, they used to do that," mused Sirius.

"What, make people write lines in their own blood?" asked Lily. "That's horrible!"

"_No,_" said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Hang people up by their thumbs. Filch still has the chains in his office."

Hestia shuddered.

"They haven't been used in years, though," said Sirius hurriedly.

"Come on," said Lily, quickly trying to change the subject "We don't want to be late for Charms!"

"Urgh," groaned Sirius, "_Double_ charms."

"Quit complaining, you big baby," muttered Lily. "Honestly, is there some rule about you and complaining?"

"Yep!" said Sirius proudly.

* * *

><p>Once they had all settled down in their seats they pulled out their parchment, and were surprised to see that there was quite a bit more writing on there than there had been before. It seemed that Peter was feeling a bit left out.<p>

_What is that James has to give to Snape? –P_

_Lily? –P_

_Uh, Hello? –P_

_Guys! –P_

_Aww, come on guys, tell me what's going on! I want to know what you are making Snape do! –P_

_You know, it's really boring sitting in the hospital wing doing nothing… -P_

_Come on! Have all of you taken those watches off or something? Answer me! –P_

_Please? –P_

_Okay, fine. Just ignore me then. –P_

"Oops," said Remus, "It seems we were laughing too hard to realize our watches were warming up…"

As they watched, Peter wrote something more.

_Okay, if you guys don't write soon, I am breaking out of the hospital and I am going to go down there and find out what's going on! –P_

_Would you really break out of the hospital Peter? –S_

_I… no. –P_

_Didn't think so. –S_

_But I might have, if you had waited longer to talk to me! –P_

_Whoa, calm down, Pete, sorry about that but it was just too funny… -J_

_Me being alone is funny? –P_

_No. The dare was funny. –H_

_What happened? –P_

_Lily dared James to give Snape a Love Potion. –F_

_And Snape confessed his love for Professor McGonagall in front of the whole school! –R_

_Then Slughorn had to convince him to leave the hall for an antidote! –L_

_Awesome. I wish I could have been there… -P_

_Don't worry, Pete, I'm sure that there will be some fun after this as well. –H_

"Today we will be learning how to charm animals into doing your bidding," started Professor Flitwick. "Note that this spell will only work on animals, and not people or magical creatures such as goblins, elves, centaurs or even dragons. Understood?"

The class nodded.

"It is similar to the imperius curse in the way that it allows you to control the animals, but it does so in a different way. It simply gives the animal the urge to please you, rather than the urge to obey. They could still refuse to complete the action you wish them to do. For example, if you tried to make a dog kill her puppies. The urge to protect her own young would be greater than the urge to please the spell caster, and so they resist.

"The incantation for this spell is _Citatio. _Now, everyone say it, please."

"_Citatio_."

"Good. Now, if some-one could please help me hand out these ravens…"

_On with the game! –J_

_It's your turn. –H_

_Oh, I know. Hest, T or D? –J_

_Er, well, after what happed last time, I pick DARE! –H_

_Cool. When you get the hang of this spell, which you will quickly, it's pretty easy- -J_

_Wait, you've done this before? –L_

_Course we have Lily, who do you take us for? –S_

_ANYWAY, Hestia, when you get the hang of the spell I want you to make was many ravens as you can swarm Flitwick at the same time. If he catches you, tell him it was an accident. –J_

_Fine. –H_

They all stared at her for a moment, then got on with their lesson.

Near the end of the lesson, something strange began to happen. First, all of the ravens in the classroom went silent. As everyone had been prodding them with their wands and yelling the incantation at the top of their voices, this was very strange indeed. Then, as one, all of the ravens turned their heads to look at Professor Flitwick, who was marking second year essays, oblivious to the chaos in his classroom as he was very used to it.

However, the silence was unexpected and caused him to look up. When he saw that all the ravens were quiet, he though that it was because the whole class had managed the spell, even though the lack of victory cries that usually accompanied the completion of a spell in his class was rather disconcerting.

Flitwick stood up so that he could congratulate his class…

And was immediately bowled over as a large mass of black feathers struck him in the chest.

The classroom was once again filled with cawing as the birds swarmed around Professor Flitwick. He batted at them with his hands as if they were merely flies, but it made no difference. They did not hurt him; they only swarmed and pecking him lightly.

_How long must I continue, James?_ –_H_

_That's probably enough. –J_

Their handwriting was nearly unintelligible as they were shaking from trying to contain their laughter.

After thirty more seconds, the ravens flew away from Flitwick and landed back in front of their respective students. They then began to behave just as they had before.

"Well…" said Flitwick as he got back to his feet, smoothing out his clothes. "Who did that? Come on, own up…"

Hestia sighed, knowing she would probably get caught anyway. And who knows? Maybe she could join Sirius in detention. Not that she liked detention… but Sirius usually escaped anyway, and some time alone would be nice.

"I did, Sir. I am so sorry, it was an accident…"

"Well, that's quite alright, Miss Jones," said Flitwick. Hestia looked up in surprise to see him smiling. "That was an amazing piece of wand work for one who has never done this spell before. You managed to control multiple animals at once! Amazing! However," he said, a stern yet somehow amused look in his eye, "You did attack a teacher, unintentionally or not! So, five points from Gryffindor from careless magic… " Lily groaned softly. "… and ten points _to_ Gryffindor for completing the spell at an amazing level! Class dismissed!"

"I love Professor Flitwick," muttered James as they headed up to the common room.

"You had better not," glared Lily playfully.

"Oh, you know what I meant," muttered James, rolling his eyes. "Hest, it's your turn."

Hestia nodded.

"Can I put my turn on hold? I have a great dare for Lily, but it has to be done at dinner…"

"Nope," said Remus, "You have to do it immediately, remember? And Lily must do her dare within an hour, and we have more than an hour 'till dinner. You'll just have to hope you get another turn."

Hestia pouted, and so, surprisingly enough, did Lily.

"Fine."

_Remus, Truth or Dare? -H_

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, suggestions are welcome if you have something you want me to write. As you can see, I have an idea for dinner, but I can do another at the same time. <strong>

**Oh yeah; also, I got the quotes from _brainy_**** again. They are from F. ("The only thing to fear is fear itself"), Yogi Berra ("it gets late early out there"),**** Joseph Dwyer ("judge a man by his questions rather than his answers") Abraham Lincoln (The one abut flowers & thistles) and that long rhyming one about time was from Dr. Suess. Duh, who else?**_  
><em>


	4. Loopholes and Dependency

**Okay, chapter four! This took me a while to write; it's been going for about a week, I keep getting distracted after pretty much every sentence. **

**I would like to just quickly thank all the people that have reviewed, especially _shinethetribute_ who gave me some great ideas. It's nice to know you guys think my story is funny! I hope you enjoy this part just as much.**

**By the way, for the Welsh people out there, I mean no offense. I actually am Welsh, so don't think I have anything against them or something. It's actually the opposite.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the setting, the magic, anything remotely Harry Potter (Unless you count all the merchandise I have at home) and I don't own the quotes, either.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 <strong>

MONDAY EVENING: Loopholes and Dependency

_You just had to pick me, didn't you? -R_

_Just answer the question! –H_

_Fine, since it's you and not Sirius… dare. –R_

_Oh, you did not just say that. –H_

_Well, no, technically I wrote it. –R_

_Remus, you better watch it now mate, she's onto you! –S_

_Remus, I dare you to sing the welsh national anthem while dancing around the common room without a shirt on. –H_

_Good one, Hest! You're starting to think like a marauder. –J_

_But I don't even know the Welsh national anthem! –R_

_Yes you do, you were humming it the other day. –L_

_Well, I don't know the words… I can't pronounce more than half of them! –R_

_Then say something that sounds vaguely like it is supposed to! –H_

_Aww, come on Hest, what did I ever do to you? –R_

_Nothing. But we are playing truth or dare, or did I miss something? –H_

_If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time. –A_

_Man, whoever said that one must have been a genius! –J_

_Who did say it, Al? –F_

_She can't tell you. –S_

_Alice, I give you permission to answer that question. –J_

_Whoa, slow down, didn't know you could do that! It wasn't in the rules! –H_

_Yeah, but it's in the rules of regular truth or dare. Okay, Alice, just answer the question. –S_

_FDR. –A_

_And that is… -S_

_Franklin Delano Roosevelt, he was the Muggle President of the United States during the Muggle Second World War. –A  
><em>

_Okay, lots of Muggley stuff then. –S_

_Anyway people, stop trying to change the subject. Remus, isn't there something you need to do? –H_

_Oh… fine. But you are SO going to get it later. –R_

Remus stood up from his spot on one of the armchairs near the fire, and ran up to his dorm. A couple of minutes later he returned.

He wasn't wearing a shirt… but he had a leather jacket on over his bare chest. He had also covered his head with a scarf, making him unrecognizable.

"Hey, he can't do that!" whined Hestia.

"You never said he couldn't," chuckled Lily.

"That's Remus for you," said James, shaking his head in exasperation. "He _always_ finds a loophole, doesn't he, Pads?"

Sirius, however, was not listening. He was glaring at Remus with all his might, as he was the only one that had caught on to what Remus was doing.

"Pads?" asked James.

"I'm going to kill him!" growled Sirius. "I'm going to kill him if it is the last thing I ever do!"

"What? Why? I know he found his way around the dare, but that is not a good enough reason to want to murder one of your best friends," said Lily in a stern tone.

"Look at him!" said Sirius. James looked, and his eyes widened when he recognized the leather jacket Remus was wearing. It was the one James had bought Sirius last Christmas, and he wore it an awful lot.

"Oh, he isn't," whispered James. "Not again!"

"Isn't what?" asked Frank at the same time Hestia said:

"Not what again?"

"Remember this time last year when Sirius, with a sheet over his head, went around trying to convince everyone he was a ghost that died when he was eaten by fluffy bunnies?"

"Yeah…"

"And he also told everyone that he was gay and liked Snape, and the reason he tormented Snape all the time was so he could hide his true feelings from the rest of the school?"

"Of course that was hilarious! But what does that have to do with this?"

"Well, you remember how just after that Remus' hair was dyed pink for a week, and his skin turned purple?"

"We thought that Remus must have dared Sirius to do that and then that was Sirius' revenge!"

"No," snarled Sirius, "_I_ dared _him_ to do it, and he found a loophole. But you are right about the revenge part."

"But if you dared him, then what-" Frank was interrupted as Remus hit Sirius over the head with his wand, and then Sirius disappeared. It took Frank a second to register that Remus had used a disillusionment charm.

Remus took Sirius' shock – for although he had been expecting Remus to attack him, Sirius was expecting the cloak like last time, and no-one enjoys the feeling of having a egg cracked on your head – and proceeded to immobilize and, for extra precautions, silence him.

"Was that really necessary?" asked Lily.

Remus winked at her then hoped up, and in a low voice that was similar to Sirius' voice, began to sing while bouncing around the room waving his arms and doing the occasional twirl.

"_Mar-hen-wald vern-aid-eye and an-old een-mee, glad birth and an-torin and wagg-ee-on oh vree_!"

"Are those the right words?" Lily asked Hestia, giggling.

"How would I know?" she replied, "Welsh words are near impossible to pronounce, unless you actually are Welsh."

"_Eye gorrin revalwerd, glad gary tre-mad, dros ruther, corth-asent, eyes wide_!"

"What on earth are you singing?" asked a pompous fifth year. Lily recognized him as Joseph McLaggen, a prefect she had met while at the meetings.

Remus ignored him and just kept going.

"_Glad, Glad, Ply your lawn, eem Glad_!"

"You know, I think he's doing quite well," said Frank thoughtfully.

"Agreed. It sounds almost right, from what I remember people singing on the T.V when my Dad watched the Rugby," said Lily. "However, I am fairly certain those are not the right words."

"No shit, Sherlock," muttered James.

"Oh wow, you know that book?" asked Lily. "I loved it when I was a kid, I didn't think you would have read it, being a pureblood and all."

"Nah, Alice. You know how she loves books, she went to a Muggle bookshop one day to find something else to read. She said that often when she was younger, but when she realized no-one understood she stopped."

"So Alice, you like Sherlock Holmes then?"

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter improbable must be the truth."

"I'll take that as a yes."

By now, Remus had finished his dare, and was about to run back up to the dormitory when a third year stood up and yelled out to him.

"Hey you! Yeah you, Sirius Black! I want to know what you're playing at!"

"Er…"

"What were you singing?"

"The Welsh National Anthem?" Remus made it sound like a question.

"How insulting!" The boy cried out. "I am Welsh! If you are going to sing the anthem, then at least do it properly! It's _mae hen wlad fy nhadau,_ not _Mar-hen-wald vern-aid-eye_! You don't hear people running about singing _Mod Gave the Spleen_, do you?"

"Well, I am not Welsh, so-"

"Man, why are people so hard on the Welsh! It's like we're smaller than you, and we're not! Did you know that it was a Welsh person who invented the equals sign?"

"The equals sign?" The seventh years could hear the humor in Remus' voice, even though the third year couldn't. Remus knew very well what an equals sign was, but he was still trying to play the part of Sirius.

"Oh, of course you wouldn't know! The equals sign, from mathematics!"

"Oh right. Really though? I didn't know that-"

"Well of course you didn't! No-one cares about the welsh! Did you know that Helga Hufflepuff was born in Wales? And do tell me you know where the Holyhead Harpies are from!"

"Er, Holyhead?"

"Yes, exactly! Holyhead is in _Wales._ Caerphilly, where the Caerphilly Catapults were founded, is in _Wales_. Wales isn't useless, you know!"

"I never said it was!"

"Then stop singing the anthem like it is a joke!"

"I wasn't! I was expressing my affection towards the people of Wales the only problem is I don't know the words. I did my best, and don't worry I shan't be doing it again. Good night."

And with that, Remus all but ran out of the laughing common room.

The third year went back to his homework with a _humph_, causing the seventh years to break out in laughter once more.

Some time had passed and the only interesting things that happened was Peter getting dared not to ay a single word to Madam Pomfrey until dawn, and Alice being told she wasn't allowed within a meter of Frank until Sirius finished his desert.

Which, knowing Sirius, could take a while.

They were currently heading to the Great Hall, and Hestia was begging Alice to pick her.

"Oh, come on, Ali, I have the BEST dare for Lily!"

"You know, that will only make her want to do it even less. Why should she let you torture her friend?" said Frank, who knew Alice well enough to know that was what she would say.

"But Lils wants to do the dare!" whined Hest.

"Lily, you know what it is?" asked Remus suspiciously.

"Well yeah," said Lily with a smirk. "Hestia told me her plan last night. Revenge for the incident last week, I think it was."

Alice nodded in understanding, giggling as she remembered the 'incident.'

James had taken it upon himself to play a prank on Hestia, and so he had flown up the girl's staircase on his broom, and had stuck all of Hestia's bathroom necessities – namely her brush, hair ties, makeup, shampoo, soap etc – to the bathroom counter with a ticking spell, meaning Hestia could not use anything. It had taken her a while to look up the counter spell, as the Marauders mysteriously disappeared over the course of the day.

Alice smiled, and pulled her parchment towards her.

_Hestia, Truth or Dare? –A_

Hestia stood up from where she was sitting to do a Victory Dance, attracting a lot of attention from the rest of the school.

"Sorry," she muttered, then sat back down.

_T, I just want this to be quick. –H_

_Okay. Would you rather go on a date with Severus Snape or lick the giant squid? –A_

_Honestly, what is it with you people and really bad truth questions? –S_

_Well, when it is your turn you can ask a better one. –J_

_Hest, answer the question already! –L_

_I can't! –H_

_Why not? –P_

_Because I can't decide! –H_

_Oh Hest, I can imagine what your voice would have been like if you'd said that out loud… it would have been a high pitched whiney voice, and then you would have pouted… -J_

_Is there not a way to interrupt someone on these parchment things? –H_

_No, I adjusted the spell we used on them so that no-one could interrupt; otherwise no-one is able to get a word in. –R_

_Fair enough. –H_

_Hest, are you going to answer the question? –F_

_I think I would have to go with the squid… I mean, people do eat squid, right? And there is no way would go on a date with the slime ball. –H_

_Fair enough. –L_

_Your turn Hest. –S_

_Lils, Truth or Dare? –H_

_Oh, dare, dare, DARE! –L_

_You know, I think it is a bit strange that Lily seems excited for this. –S_

_I agree. –J_

_So do I. –R_

_I can't see her face, but from her message I agree with you also. –P_

_So come on, Hest, what's the dare, we're all dying to know. –F_

_Well, I'm not dying, just curious. –P_

_It's a figure of speech, Pete. –J_

_Yeah, I knew that. –P_

_I'm sure you did. –S_

_I did! –P_

_Anyway, Hest, would you like to do the honors? –L_

_Well yeah, I've been waiting for a turn at writing on this thing. –H_

_Well, you have a turn now, so go ahead. –J_

_Lily Evans, I dare you to be entirely dependent on James until we get back to the common room. –H_

_Oh Hestia Jones, I accept my mission. –L_

_Great. Just remember, _entirely_ dependent. –H_

_How could I forget? But I can still speak, right? –L_

_Yes, you can. –H_

_Good. –L_

_I think I might enjoy this. –J_

_I wouldn't be so sure… -R_

_What do you mean? –J_

_Wait and see. –Smiles evilly- -R_

_Starting NOW. –H_

At that moment, Lily Leaned heavily against James, positioning herself so that if he were to move, she would fall off the bench.

"Lily, what are you doing?" asked James.

"Sitting at the table," she said with a frown.

Hestia, Alice and Remus started to laugh, but the others just frowned in confusion, having not yet caught on to what Lily and Hestia had planed.

"James?" whined Lily.

"Yes Lily?"

"Can you pass the potatoes?"

"Course." He held a plate of potatoes out to her. She just stared at it like she didn't know what to do with it.

"James?"

"Yes Lily."

"Can you please put some on my plate?"

"Um, okay."

Once the food was on her plate, she once again just sat there staring at it.

"James?"

"Lily."

"Can you pass me some beef?"

"Would you like me to put that on your plate too?" he asked, and Lily nodded. Sighing with exasperation, James did as he was told.

"James?"

"What now?"

"Can you feed me please?"

"What?"

"Can you feed me please?"

"Why?"

"Because I can't feed myself, and if you don't help me, I'll starve."

"Why can't you feed yourself?"

"Because I can't!"

"James," chuckled Remus. "This is her dare."

"What?"

"She has to be _entirely_ dependent on you."

"But I don't… Oh."

"Yeah."

"Hestia Jones, I am going to kill you in your sleep!"

"James?"

"Yes Lily?"

"Can you feed me please?"

"Fine."

Deciding that he didn't really have a choice, James proceeded to feed his seventeen-year-old girlfriend. However, he found that he had to do it carefully, like one might feed a baby, for she often let the food fall out of her mouth and dribble down her face. Whenever that happened, Hestia was sure to tell him to wipe it away quickly so that it didn't get on her robes, or Lily would be sure to give him hell when they got back to the common room.

As he was taking all his time feeding Lily, he didn't have much time to feed himself. Whenever he was about to, Lily would ask him to do something else.

"James?"

"Yes Lily?"

"Can you ask Hestia what she wants for Christmas?"

"Why can't you ask her Lily?" Feeding her was one thing, but talking for Lily was a little over the top.

"I only feel comfortable talking to you."

Sighing for what felt like the thousandth time since dinner started, James turned to Hestia.

"Lily wants to know what you want for Christmas," he growled.

"Oh, I don't know. Just get me whatever you think, Lils."

"What did she say?" Lily asked, looking at James expectantly.

Sirius snickered, having _finally_ caught on. He had no idea how Lily was keeping a straight face. He would never have been able to.

"James, what did she say?"

"She said she doesn't know, and that you should get whatever you feel like."

"Oh, okay then. Can you tell her that I have absolutely no idea?"

This continued on for a while, with James relaying a conversation between Hestia and Lily. When desert arrived, he reached over to get some, but, of course, was interrupted.

"James?"

"Yes Lily."

"Pass me some mousse?"

"Here you go."

"James?"

"Yes Lily."

"Feed me?"

"Yes Lily."

"James?"

"Yes Lily."

"Can you pour me some more juice?"

"Yes Lily."

"James?"

"Yes Lily."

"I'm thirsty."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Give me a drink?"

"Yes Lily."

"James?"

"Yes Lily."

"I need the bathroom."

By now, everyone that was playing – excluding James and Lily, and including Peter who was getting a play-by-play account of the whole thing via parchment from Remus – were cracking up laughing, bending over their food and holding their sides. James was scowling with irritation and continuously turning to glare murderously at Hestia, while Lily was, by some miracle, managing to keep a straight face.

For James and Sirius, that last comment was enough to push them over the edge. Literally, in Sirius' case. He laughed so hard that he fell off the bench and landed on the floor, right into the feet of Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Black, what is the meaning of this?"

"Sorry… Professor…" gasped Sirius.

"It is nice to see that you are enjoying yourself, but this round of laughter that is coming from your group had better not be the result of a prank."

"No professor," said Frank, managing to get a hold of himself. "Lily just told a funny joke, is all."

"Right…" said McGonagall, glancing over to see Lily's expressionless face, and James' horrified one. "Miss Evans, would you mind sharing the joke?"

"James," said Lily, "Would you please tell Professor McGonagall that I am unaware that I told a joke and that people just found what I said amusing?"

"Why can't you tell me yourself, Miss Evans?"

Lily ignored her and pulled on James' sleeve.

"James?"

With yet another sigh, James repeated Lily's words to McGonagall.

"Why couldn't Miss Evans tell me that herself?" asked McGonagall, pressing her lips into a tight line.

"James, what did she say?" James ignored Lily.

"She is going through a little stage right now," said Hestia. "Don't worry, she'll be back to normal after dinner."

McGonagall looked hard at Hestia, who was struggling not to burst out laughing once more and at Alice, who had a sparkle in her eye. The Professor remembered her suspicions from the morning, and realized that this was part of a game, and that the girls were trying to get back at the boys for something. So, she muttered;

"She'd better be," and then stalked back to the high table.

"Ah, Minnie," said Sirius, climbing back onto the bench and wiping his eyes. "Best teacher ever. She always loves a game of Truth or Dare."

"Apart from the time you filled her office with browtruckles," said Remus.

"Ah yes," mused Sirius.

"Remember you are just an extra in everyone else's play," said Alice.

"What?"

"I think she means that we are forgetting something," said Hestia, shooting Lily and James a look.

"Oh," said Sirius, who then turned to gin evilly at his best mate. "Go on then, Prongs, your Lady calls."

"James?" said Lily.

"Look, can you just wait until we get to the common room, and then you can go by yourself, okay?"

"Okay," whimpered Lily.

"Okay," repeated James, and then reached to get himself some ice cream.

"So, what is going on here?"

Sirius and James' heads snapped up, all laughter forgotten as expressions of hate appeared on their face. Even Remus' smile faded, although he did not look at the new comers the same way that his friends did. The others recognized the voice, but thought it was best to keep looking down at their dinner.

Lily, on the other hand, winced and pressed herself closer the James.

Severus looked down at the group. They had been laughing all through dinner, which gave him the impression that they had been planning something – which, in his books, never bode well.

"Leave us alone," hissed Sirius. The group of Slytherins laughed.

"And why should we?"

James raised his eyebrows and nodded his head in the direction of the high table.

"Fine," sneered Rosier, the thug that was standing in the front of the Slytherins. "But don't think we don't know what you're up to."

The Slytherins then wandered off, with only Severus shooting a glance back at the Gryffindors, gazing sadly at the way Lily lent against James.

"I hate them," muttered Frank.

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life," replied Alice.

"I hate them too. _Don't think we don't know what you're doing_," sneered Sirius, "Yeah right."

"James?"

"What?"

"Can you tell Sirius to get a grip?" said Lily, effectively breaking the tension.

"Sirius, Lily says to get a grip."

"Well you can tell Lily to-"

"_Anyway_, Seeing as Lily's dare is going to be going on for a while, Lily, would you like to continue?" said Remus. Lily didn't respond. "Lily?"

Hestia giggled.

"James, tell Lily it's her turn to ask someone."

"Urgh," groaned James. "Lily, Hestia and Remus want you to ask someone."

"Okay."

When she still didn't do anything, James groaned again.

"Lily?"

"Okay, James. Who shall I ask?"

"What?"

"Who should I ask?"

"Er, it's kind of your choice…"

"But I can't decide without your help!"

"Fine then." James thought for a moment. The person he wanted to ask the most would have been Hestia, so he could get his revenge. But he couldn't dare Hestia because she had dared Lily… then a thought came to his mind. "Ask Sirius."

"Okay." Still Lily did nothing.

"What now, Lily?"

"Can you write on the parchment for me?"

"Shall I write it on your parchment, or mine?"

"Write it on yours," interjected Remus. "Or have you forgotten that spell we put on them after fourth year, when Sirius stole Peter's parchment?"

"Oh yeah. Okay then."

_Sirius, Lily asks you: T or D? –J_

_Why is James writing if Lily is asking? –P_

_Look at the previous dare. –H_

_Oh, this isn't fair! I am missing so much! –P_

_Promise to fill you in tomorrow. –F_

_Fine then. –P_

_Sirius? –J_

_Do you even need to ask? Dare of course! –S_

"Lily, he says dare."

"What do you want him to do?" asked Lily. James grinned. He had been hoping for this.

"Oh, I have an idea."

"Well, go on then. Ask."

_Sirius, Lily dares you to walk over to Tasha Brown, right now, and kiss her. Then you must ask her on a date, and take her with you to Hogsmeade this weekend. –J_

_WHAT! James, I am going to KILL you! –H_

_Hey, don't kill me, kill Lily! It's her dare! –J_

_Some boyfriend you are. –H_

_You know I was joking. –J_

_Man, you better be glad Lily can't read right now. –R_

_Anyway, Sirius, what do you think? –P_

_Well, I don't know about him, but _I_ think he's in shock. –R_

_Why, what's he doing? –P_

_Just sort of… sitting there, with his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide – he isn't blinking – staring at his parchment like a complete loon. –R_

_I think he's just trying to get some sympathy. –J_

"James?"

"Yes Lily?"

"Could you please read out the conversation to me? It's annoying not knowing what is going on you see." With yet another sigh, James complied, and read her the parchment. When he reached Sirius' dare, Lily gasped and glared at James, but made no comment.

When he read the part where Hest told him what a bad boyfriend he was, Lily burst out laughing; not the reaction everyone was expecting.

Not that James minded, of course.

_I was under the impression that the dare said 'right now.' –F_

_So was I, actually. –J_

"Sirius… oh Sirius!" called Frank.

"Come on, snap out of it, buddy," said James, whacking Sirius on the back of the head.

"Sirius, look away from that piece of parchment or I swear I will dare you to kiss the trunk of the Whomping Willow!" growled Hestia. Of course this had no effect on Sirius – he knew how to get past those deadly branches – and anyway, the _thing_ he did have to kiss was much worse than any murderous tree.

Tasha brown was a Hufflepuff sixth year. She was blonde, with big blue eyes and was slightly chubby – she _thought_ she had curves. Few might call her pretty, but that was only from a distance. Up close, her skin looked pasty from the amount of makeup she used, and, as Sirius so kindly pointed out one day in the corridor, her right ear was a little higher than her left. She seemed to be the president of Sirius' fan club and had had a huge crush on him since the first moment she saw him. Tasha followed Sirius around like a stalker – in fact, the marauders were certain she was a stalker – and was always trying to jump him whenever she had the chance. Also, there was a Hufflepuff boy that followed her around - Connor Smith - so it was like a little procession of follow the was clear _he_ had liked _her_ since _she_ had liked Sirius, and Smith was always trying to divert her attention him. Whenever he did that, Tasha would run up to Sirius and cling onto his arm. And when she did _that_, Smith would yell profanities at Sirius which would cause a duel which would put Sirius in detention. Not that he minded detention, really, but it was always better when you weren't in it.

So, it was quite understandable that Sirius did not have the urge to run up to her during the middle of desert and kiss Tasha Brown.

With a sigh, Lily whispered something into James' ear. He smiled and looked back at his near-catatonic friend before repeating Lily's words.

"Come on, Sirius, or I'll put a spell on your hair so you can't wash it for the rest of the week and that tomato sauce will have to stay there!"

As if he had been electric shocked, Sirius jumped in his spot then turned to James.

"Don't make me do this! Please James, Please! I'll do anything! Anything! Please, give me a chicken! Give me a chicken, I am begging you!"

"Are you sure you want a chicken?" asked James, a glint in his eye.

"Yes, Yes! For Merlin's sake, YES!"

"Even knowing that a chicken could involve you doing something naked… and that I could still involve a certain female?"

Sirius froze once more, and then turned to glare at James.

"I thought you were my friend," he spat. James rolled his eyes.

"I still haven't forgotten what you made me do in fifth year," he muttered.

Sirius' eyes widened, then he chuckled. If it weren't for the thought of what he was going to have to do, he would have been in full blown hysterics.

"Oh yeah. I guess this isn't so bad then."

"Too right it's not."

"James?"

"Yes Lily?"

"What was that? What did Sirius say?"

"Ugh."

"Really? Well I guess that does sound like Sirius. So, is he going to do his dare anytime soon?"

"Yeah Sirius, going to do your dare soon?"

"Um... Which way to the astronomy tower? I really feel like jumping off something right now..."

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><p><strong>So, I did originally meant to finish Monday in this chapter, but it was taking to long and you guys would have had to wait another two weeks<strong>. **So I just ended it here.**

**What do you guys think of Tasha? Don't worry, she isn't going to be a major character, just another person to be annoyed by and to annoy. If that makes sense. And yes, Connor Smith is Zacharias' father... sorry if the name is wrong. Brown = no relation to Lavender. It is just a common name.**

**Oh yes, and the quotes in this chapter came from Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill, and there was one in there from Sherlock Holmes, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  
><strong>

**By the way, the next chapter will be during the night, so night-time dare and some good truth suggestions would be nice. :D**


	5. Kisses and a Hat

**Here you go, guys!**

**Once again, a million thanks to those of you that took the time to review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the quotes or some of the original ideas... look at the bottom to see the names of the wonderful people that helped me out!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

MONDAY NIGHT: Kisses and a Hat.

"Come on, Sirius, you can do it!"

"NO!"

"It's just one kiss! You can just peck her on the lips if you want!"

"NO!"

"Sirius!"

"NO!"

"Bok, bok, bok…"

"Guys! Fine, I'll do it!"

Frank and Remus were currently trying to push Sirius towards the Hufflepuff table. James would have helped if it were for the fact that if he were to move, Lily would fall on the floor.

His face twisted into what was probably a look of pure horror, Sirius slowly moved his way through the hall towards what he believed was the end of his life.

Why, oh why did he have to suggest they play the game? Sure, they'd played it every year, but there was a chance that they others might forget…

"Hi Sirius!" squealed a high pitched voice.

_Oh Merlin_, thought Sirius. _Goodbye James, Remus Pete, thanks for being my brothers. Bye Mr. and Mrs. P, thanks for taking me in and for being good parents. Bye Hest._

"Hi…Tasha."

"What are you doing over here, hmm? Did you want to go out some time or something? You could always leave _her_ for me, I mean, what is she? Her hair is so bland, and like, she has _no_ sense of humor…"

Sirius tried to tune her out, but failed miserably. He sent a pleading look back at his friends, begging for mercy.

James and Remus made kissy lips at him.

Scowling and taking in what could possibly be his last breath of air, Sirius spun around, grabbed Tasha's chin and pressed his lips to hers.

He was only going to peck her – after all, James had never specified how long the kiss had to be. However, the moment Tasha realized what Sirius had done, she grabbed his hair and latched herself onto him, then continued to devour his lips.

Hestia, over at the Gryffindor table, had to be physically restrained by Alice and Frank. She knew that Sirius wasn't doing it, but she had an urge to go and kill something… in particular, a certain blonde Hufflepuff.

"Get…off…..me," said Sirius as impressively as he could while his lips were still attached to the girls. He gave one final shove, and was able to pull him off her.

"Oh, Sirius, didn't you like that?" said Tasha, pouting.

"Of course I did," said Sirius through locked teeth. "But… Hest – Jones – is just over there, and Smith is glaring at me…"

"Forbidden Love!" squealed Tasha. Sirius resisted the urge to put his hands over his ears. "That is so romantic!"

"Yeah," muttered Sirius quickly, deciding to get it over with. "Look, you want to go to Hogs-"

"Yes!" she squealed, launching herself at Sirius again.

"Tasha!" he gasped, "Hest – I mean Jones – and Smith –"

"Oh, sorry," she said, pulling back, but not really looking sorry at all. "But yes, I would love to!"

"Great!" He tried, and failed to smile. But she seemed to buy it. "See you then."

I ran as fast as he could back to the Gryffindors.

"I am going to kill you guys," he snarled at his 'friends.'

_Frank, T or D – S_

_D, this time. –F_

"How about we go back to the common room first?" asked Hestia. "Dinner is nearly over, and this way we can carry on up there."

Everyone nodded while James told Lily what she had said.

"Good idea," said Remus. "Lets go."

James tried to stand up with the rest of his friends, but found he couldn't, due to the fact that his girlfriend was still leaning all of her weight against his – now very sore – shoulder.

"Lily."

"Yes James?"

"It's time to do back to the common room now."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. Are we going to go up?"

"Er-"

"It's okay if you don't want to. It's totally your choice."

"Well, I would like to."

"Okay then."

"Lily, I can't get up unless you get off my shoulder."

"But James, if I don't lean on you I'll fall!"

James glared at the others as they all laughed at him.

"Fine," he sighed. Then he pulled Lily onto his lap, gathered her into his arms and stood up, walking out of the great hall, the others – who were once again in hysterics – following behind him.

"Could you hurry up please, Prongs?" called Sirius as they climbed their sixth staircase. "I would like to get to the common room before tomorrow!"

"Yeah, well, why don't you carry Lily then?"

"No James!" gasped Lily, clutching his robes. "Don't let go of me! You're the only one that won't drop me!"

James groaned, and jogged up the next couple of steps, but stopped on the landing.

"Now what, Prongs?" whined Sirius as James placed Lily on the floor. "I didn't mean it, I swear! If you hurry up, I promise not to complain anymore!"

James ignored him.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

"Aww James, that's cheating!" complained Hestia as Lily levitated of the ground and up the next flight of stairs.

"Let me remind you that this was never my dare," said James, "and so this is not cheating."

"Fair enough", said Frank, shrugging when Hestia turned to glare at him. "It's true!"

After that, it didn't take them much time to get back to the common room, and in a matter of minutes, they were all seated comfortably by the fire.

"Finally!" said Lily, grinning as she stretched her arms. "That position was so uncomfortable.

"Tell me about it," muttered James, rolling his shoulder.

"Let's get on with it, shall we?" asked Remus. Sirius nodded with a serious expression on his face.

_First of all, I would like to propose another rule change. Alice gave me an idea with her truth for Hest earlier. –S_

_Oh? –J_

_Yes. I propose RULE 15: when giving a dare, the darer may present the victim with two options, and ask them _would you rather?_ The victim must then pick one and do one. The two options must be similar yet different… i.e. would you rather eat large chocolate cake or a large waffle? _

_Aye. Sounds great, why didn't we ever think of that before? –J_

_Aye. It'll give some more creative dares… -R_

_As much as I hate the idea of giving Sirius more ways to torture people… Aye. At least it gives people a chance to pick.-L_

_Seeing as I am the one doing the next dare… Nay, nay, NAY! Sirius must have something planned! –F_

_What are you, a horse? –S_

_Leave him alone! Come on, Hest, Alice, Pete. –L_

_Well, I'm still in the hospital wing – Madam Pomfrey is nicely angry at me for being quiet, by the way so thanks for that – I would like a bit more excitement, so Aye. –P_

_Aye, I agree with Lils. –H_

_Now a soft kiss - AYE, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. –A_

_Brilliant! Rule passed with a… a… Remus, a little help? –S_

_-sighs- Rule passed with a 87.5% majority. –R_

_How do you _do_ that? –S_

_Never mind that, get one with the dare! I think Frank is about to die from suspense! –L_

_Hey! –F_

_Fine. Frank Longbottom, WOULD YOU RATHER kiss Lily or Hestia? (On the lips, please, we don't want you doing a Moony. And make sure it is for at least five seconds.) –S_

_Okay, can I change my vote? –H_

_Yeah, I'd like to change mine, too. –L_

_And mine. –J_

_Nope, sorry guys. Rule's already been passed. –S_

_**I HATE**__ quotations. Tell me what __**YOU**__ know. –A_

_Aww, Al, I didn't know you felt that way! –S_

_I hate you too. –L_

_So do I. –H_

_And me. –F_

_Ah, but Frank, you were the one who chose dare. –S_

_Fine. Hestia. –F_

_Frank! –H_

_Hest, you weren't supposed to choose! Frank was supposed to… oh. –P_

_Ah, Pete. –J_

_Well, get on with it then. –S_

_All right then. Have fun watching me kiss your girlfriend, Sirius. –F_

_Oh I- Wait, WHAT? –S_

_Honestly, Pads, you didn't give him the best options. –J_

_Of course he would try to get you back… -R_

_You should have said Lily or Mary or Marlene or something. Not your own girl. –J_

_And here I was thinking Marauders were smart… -R_

_Well, I guess there's three of us now. –J_

_James, it isn't nice to kick Wormtail out of the group. –S_

_Why would I do that? Then there would only be three Marauders! –J_

_You can't Kick out Moony! –S_

_Course not! –J_

_But… -S_

_Sirius, get over yourself so we can continue the game. –L_

_Yeah, I like getting bad experiences over and done with. –F_

Hestia glanced up from her parchment, a hurt expression on her face as she looked and Frank.

"Are you saying you think I'm a bad kisser?"

"I… No… Of course not," stammered Frank.

Hest grinned.

"Just kidding. Come here, then."

Frank groaned and pulled himself away from his spot on the sofa next to Alice, and moved over to Hestia.

"Now, now, Sirius, make sure you have a good view," said Lily, winking. Sirius scowled.

Frank and Hestia were really close now, and getting closer.

When their lips touched, Sirius began to growl.

"Oh, grow up," muttered Remus, throwing a pillow at him. "Remember that you were the one that made them do this!"

After counting to five in her head, Hestia immediately pushed Frank away from her, and then grinned.

"So, was it as bad as you thought it would be?" she asked, winking.

Frank rolled his eyes, and Hest turned to Alice.

"You've got yourself a good kisser there," she said, winking again.

"_Anwyay,_" said Sirius. "Frank, your turn."

_James, Truth or dare? –F_

_BEFORE you write, -R_

_Oh great, here we go. –J_

_I would like to propose another rule change. –R_

_Another one? –S_

_I second his proposal! –L_

_You know you don't need to. –P_

_Yeah, but he told me his idea, and I liked it. –L_

_I propose RULE 16: You must pick truth at least once for every five dares, and vice versa. –R_

_Aye. –L_

_Why? –S_

_Cause you only pick dare, and we'd like to ask you some questions! –L_

_Fine. I'll say Aye, just to make sure you cowards don't truth all the time. –S  
><em>

_Everyone has done at least one dare, Sirius. –L_

_Whatever. –S_

_Aye. –H_

_Aye. –P_

_Now a soft kiss - AYE, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. –A_

_You really loved that quote, don't you Alice? Oh, and Aye. –J_

_Aye. –F_

_Rule passed with a 100% majority. James, answer the question. –R_

_What question? –J_

_-smashes head on desk- -L_

_Oh right. Sorry. I guess I'll go truth then, get it out of the way. –J_

_What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? –F  
><em>

_Oh, brilliant question! –S_

_Even though it was the most embarrassing thing for you too, Pads? –J_

_Frank, why did you have to ask that? WHY? –S_

_Oooh, I'm all excited. –L_

_Me too. Do tell, Jamesie dearest. –H_

_Do. Not. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again. –J_

_Stop stalling. –R_

_Fine! One day, Pads and I were walking down to the Quidditch pitch. I think it was… fifth year, was it Pads? –J_

_Yeah, it was. It's kinds ingrained in my brain. Though you know, you could have left me out of this. –S_

_But that wouldn't have been the truth, now would it? Anyway, while we were walking, this Ravenclaw first year - don't know her name - comes up to Padfoot. Then she asks him out. –J_

_Well, that's not embarrassing. –H_

_I'm not done yet! –J_

_Then why stop? –L_

_Because I has wondering if anyone would like to comment on the story so far! –J_

_Whatever. Just keep writing and don't make anymore breaks. –R_

_Well, Pads wasn't so keen on dating a first year, as you can imagine, and so he told her no. Then she turned around and asked me. This, of course, put Sirius in hysterics because I was apparently only 'second best', but whatever, that isn't important. So, when I said no, she started to chuck a hissy fit. Although, that could also be because she thought Pads was laughing at her. Honestly, you'd think she was six, not eleven! Then, she pulled out her wand, and used _Levicorpus _on us, and then used _diffindo_ and _Wingardium Leviosa _ to magic our clothes off. She must have been top of the year – bloody amazing for a firstie. Then, one of her friends comes running up with this pot of flashing, colour changing paint and some glitter, and then they take our wands out of our – now ripped – robes, and hide them in a bush. Then they just ran off! UNFORTUNATELY, Snivellous – sorry Lily – was skulking about by the lake, and saw the whole thing. He went and got his gang of Slytherins and they began to torment us. Luckily, however, Moony and Wormtail – bless their souls – saw them approaching us on the Marauders map and rescued us. –J_

There was silence, and James glanced up at his friends.

Then they all fell on the floor in the biggest bought of hysterics yet.

Well, not Sirius. He was reliving the embarrassment at the same time as James was.

"That… is… so… funny…" gasped Hestia

"Yeah, I'm gathering that," muttered James, glaring at his choking friends.

"You… prank… extraordinaires… got beat… by two… first years!" wheezed Lily.

Sirius, always able to speak at the right times and not only the wrong ones, was able to make an attempt to turn the situation around.

"I always knew you thought we were extraordinary Evans!"

Unfortunately, it did not help.

_What's going on? –P_

_I think their all dying. –J_

_What? How? –P_

_Oxygen deprivation. –J_

_What? –P_

_Suffocation, Pete. –J_

_Oh right. Why? –P_

_They are all laughing themselves silly. –S_

* * *

><p><em>So, Remus, truth or dare. –J<em>

Several minutes had passed, and everyone was able to talk clearly and hold their quill straight, despite frequent chuckles.

_Dare. –R_

_I'm going to take a leaf out of Sirius' book… -J_

_Uh oh. Not good. –R_

_Hey! I resent that! –S_

_WOULD YOU RATHER steal McGonagall's hat (WITHOUT MAGIC) or Slughorn's wristwatch? (WITHOUT MAGIC) (Bringing the object back here when you are done.) –J_

Remus thought for a moment. They were both pretty equal – McGonagall would be much more dangerous, but Slughorn's watch would be much harder to get a hold of.

He sighed.

One option would land him in detention.

The other would land him in detention _and_ make a teacher think he had a mental problem.

He decided to go with the first.

_McGonagall's Hat. –R_

_No. Way. –H_

_Goodbye, Remus, it was nice knowing you! –L_

_You too Lily… I'll miss you. –R_

_See you in the afterlife, Bro! –S_

* * *

><p><em>Why, Remus, why?<em>

Remus was creeping along the corridor to McGonagall's office, wishing that he had chosen truth.

He _was_ glad that he had picked the hat rather than the watch – how are you supposed to steal a watch? – but McGonagall…

When he reached the office door, Remus touched his prefect badge.

_Goodbye badge… I will miss you._

Then, he carefully opened the door a crack.

It would have been nice if James could have leant him the Map, so he could check if McGonagall was in there, but James wouldn't let him because '_we can't let the others know._'

Which was so unfair, seeing as James had used the cloak to put the love potion in Snape's juice earlier, but when he had pointed this out, James had told him that the map was technically using magic. Damn him.

Remus was unlucky – McGonagall was in there.

And she was wearing the hat.

_Oh my Merlin…_

Luckily, however, McGonagall had not been facing the door, and so did not see him open it. Resigning himself to his fate, Remus knocked.

"Enter."

_It's now or never…_

"Ah, Mr. Lupin. How may I help you?"

_I just need to get her to turn around…_

Remus noticed a pile of essays on a shelf behind her desk – where she was sitting – and recognized them as the essays they had handed in during the disasterous lesson that morning when James had tried to teach. Thinking fast, he said;

"Professor, I'm sorry to cause any trouble, it's just Sirius informed me after dinner that he swapped his essay for mine, changing the name. I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but I thought I had better check…"

"Hmm."

Remus had forgotten what Alice had said before about McGonagall's suspicions. She wasn't sure what Remus was up to. Despite being a Prefect, Remus Lupin _was_ a Marauder, and all the teachers in Hogwarts had learnt not to trust a Marauder…

But what was the harm in looking at an essay?

And this was Remus Lupin – not James Potter or Sirius Black.

"I take it you can just recognize the handwriting?"

"Of course professor."

"Very well then."

Professor McGonagall turned to grab the pile of essays.

And Remus lunged.

He grabbed the hat off her head, and sprinted out the open door.

"REMUS LUPIN! GET BACK HERE NOW!"

Dodging the tripping jinx McGonagall shot at him, Remus ran down the corridor like his life depended on it – which it probably did – past an applauding Peeves, ducked into a secret passageway, and continued on towards the Gryffindor common room.

"Dormouse, dormouse!" he wheezed as he reached the Fat Lady, who rolled her eyes – she was used to the Marauders approaching her at night, out of breath and in a hurry – and then he dived into the common room.

"I take it you got it then?" chucked Sirius as he took in Remus' appearance.

Remus grinned and held up the hat, before doing a victory dance.

"REMUS LUPIN!"

"Uh oh," gasped Remus, throwing that hat at Sirius before jumping behind Lily's chair, just as the portrait hole burst open with a crash.

"MR LUPIN, I EXPECT YOU TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY- oh. Why do you have my hat, Mr. Black?"

"Well, when Remus heard your dulcet tones, he got a little terrified, threw the hat at me and hid behind the chair."

"Really, Mr. Lupin?" asked McGonagal in a dangerous voice, walking around the chair. "And why might that be?"

"Oh, hello professor," said Remus, standing up shakily. "Fancy seeing you here."

* * *

><p>"So, you'll be joining me in detention then, Moony?" asked Sirius.<p>

"Speaking of detentions… what time was yours again, Black?" asked Lily.

"Seven, Like Moony's."

"Well, it's five to seven now…"

"Damn! Moony, come on, we gotta go!"

"So," said Hestia after Remus had been dragged out of the portrait hole by Sirius. "What do we do now?"

"I would suggest bed," said James, standing up.

"But… it's only seven!" exclaimed Frank.

"I know. But remember, the game pauses while they are in detention, but will restart the moment they are out. Which means we don't get much sleep. So, I suggest getting rest while we can."

"I agree," said Lily, stretching. "I can't believe I'm going to get woken up every five seconds to do some stupid dare…"

"I'll give you a hint," James whispered into her ear as he pulled her against his chest. "Give some-one a dare that will take a long time to do, if you get picked. Sirius is a good target at night – he always picks dare. That way, you can sleep for longer."

"But then they can't sleep!" She whispered back after waving goodnight to Alice, Frank and Hest as they went up the stairs. "That's not fair."

"Alls fair in love and war, love," grinned James, pulling back a little to kiss her on the nose. "And this is most definitely war."

"No it's not," muttered Lily. "In a war, you must pick sides. This is just a jumbled mess of madness."

"True," chuckled James. "But you'll soon learn that in order to survive this week, you can't afford to be nice. Remember, it is against the rules to make an alliance, which means no going easy on someone so they'll go easy on you."

"Well damn. But okay, thanks for the advice."

"No problem, Lils. Now, I really do think we should get some rest. Moony and Pads won't be gone for more than five hours… actually, maybe they will. Minnie looked a bit mad."

"A bit?"

"Okay, a lot."

"I can't believe I agreed to this."

"Well, you did, and now you'll just have to live with the consequences."

"Gee, thanks James. That made me feel a lot better."

"I know it did – I'm great at comforting girls."

"Goodnight James."

"Hey! Don't go!"

"You're the one that said to get some rest!"

"Yeah, but I've changed my mind now."

Lily shook her head, then laughed at James' pout, and moved forward to kiss him.

"I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"All right," he sighed. "Goodnight, Lily."

"Night, James."

* * *

><p>It barely felt like Lily had laid down in her bed and crawled under the covers when she felt a voice yelling in her ear.<p>

"_Lily! Lily! LILY!"_

"Go away," she moaned, glancing at her clock. It was eleven o'clock – she'd been sleeping for about three and a half hours.

"_LILY!"_

This time, she noticed that her wrist was rather warm, and that the voice sounded oddly like Peter's.

Realizing what this meant she reached for her parchment, which was still squealing her name, and looked it over.

All the questions were going at a more rapid pace; there was less chatter on the parchment, more proper… things?

It seemed like the moment Remus and Sirius had returned they had gone on with the game. As most of them had retreated to their beds, most of the 'victims' had chosen truth, although Sirius seemed to have done a run to the kitchens to get a cream pie and a banana to levitate into Professor Kettleburn's room and land on his face.

The most recent entry read:

_Lily, truth or dare? –P_

This was clearly what had woken her up, and must have been the reason why the voice from the parchment sounded like Pete's. With a sigh, she reached into her bag for a quill, and started to write. The moment her quill touched the parchment, the squealing stopped.

_Truth. –L_

_Who was your first kiss? –P_

_Er… -L_

_Answer it, Lily. Don't worry, Prongs' last turn was about half an hour ago, he'll be asleep by now, and won't bother reading this far back when it's his go again. –P_

_Fine. Snape. –L_

_Oh my… -P_

_It was involuntary. He kissed me. Alice, Truth or dare? –L_

Lily winced as her voice, though much higher, resounded throughout the dorm.

"_Alice, Alice, ALICE!_"

_Ugh, thanks for waking me up. And yes, I can answer without quotes, remember… that rule 14… anyway, truth. There's no way I'm getting out of this bed. –A  
><em>

_One fantasy that includes Frank. –L_

… _Melted chocolate. On Frank. –A_

_Eww. –L_

_Don't say you haven't thought that with James? –A_

… _-L_

_Sirius, T or D? –A_

_Er… I'll just go T… can't be bothered getting up AGAIN. –S_

_Lils, you still there? Should I do it? –A_

Lily knew immediately what she was referring too.

The thing they had talked about.

Even if it had been a year, that conversation was burnt into her mind.

And she wanted to know the answer.

No matter how cruel the question.

_Yes. –L_

_Do what? –S_

_It's a bit cruel though… -L_

_I'll do it. –A_

_Do what? Come on, Prewett, I want to sleep! –S_

Lily withheld from mentioning that this was _his_ idea.

_If you had to kill one of the Marauders, or have all of you die, which one would you kill? _–A

Lily waited to see Sirius' response.

And waited.

And waited.

And finally It came.

_Myself. I would kill myself. –S_

* * *

><p><strong>Acknowledgements:<strong>

**- The quotes in this chapter are from ****Ralph Waldo Emerson and John Keats. **

**- I would like to thank _shinethetribute _and _epickerthanyou_ for the idea of Would You Rathers**

**- Also, _epickerthanyou_ again for the question about which marauder would Sirius pick to die. **

**Next chapter: More during the night stuff, and the next morning. Not sure how for I'll get though.  
><strong>


	6. Cats and Yelling

**All those reviews just blew my mind! Thanks guys, for telling me how much you enjoyed the story!**

**Now, some of you said that the last part was depressing... well, this isn't. Promise.**

**Disclaimer: Never was, Never is, Never will be mine. Did that even make sense? No? Whatever. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter six<strong>

**EARLY** TUESDAY MORNING: Cats and Yelling.

Lily stared at the parchment for a moment. But really, what was she expecting? She knew all the Marauders were fiercely loyal... and if she thought about it, she knew she would have said the same thing.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of waking up, writing, and going back to sleep. There were only several memorable moments. One was where James decided to take his own advice and gave Alice a truth that would take up a lot of time for her to answer, using her quotes dare to the most of it's potential.

_Alice, give one quote for every teacher in this castle you can think of. –J_

_You mean, one that describes them? –A_

_Just whatever quote pops into your head when you think of them. –J_

_Alright… -A_

_Slughorn: I am easily satisfied with the very best.-A_

_Alby: Last night I stayed up late playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -A_

_Dumbledore: Doing the right thing is more important than doing the thing right. -A_

Obviously, this went on for a while.

_McGonagall: A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. -A_

_Flitwick: Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. -A_

Lily fell asleep before Alice had finished the list, and when she was next woken up the writing was much further down the page.

When it reached midnight, Lily was awoken by a loud scream.

"What's going on?" asked Mary McDonald, one of the other girls in the dorm.

"I can speak!" squealed Alice. "I can speak, I can speak, I can speak!"

At first, Lily thought this was some obscure dare, but then realized that Alice's quote dare only lasted until the end of the day; which meant she was free.

Lily and Hestia shared a glance then collapsed back into their beds again.

Only to be woken up again.

_Lily, T or D –F_

_Do you have to ask? T –L_

_If you woke up one day and you were invisible, what is the first thing you would do and why? –F_

_Annoy the hell out of Sirius cause he needs someone to get the better of him. Sirius, T or D? –L_

_D, I'm getting bored. –S_

_Um… it's half past twelve… you're supposed to be sleeping. Anyway, if your bored, I'll give you a good one. –L_

_Oh goodie. –S_

_Go hang Mrs. Norris up on a chandelier. No magic other than to stun and levitate Mrs. Norris, and attach her to the chandelier. –L_

_Are you trying to kill me? –S_

_Um… -L_

_James, James, JAMES! –S_

_What? –J_

_Your girlfriend is trying to kill me! –S_

_And you felt the need to wake me up? Go to hell, Pads. –J_

_Such a great friend. –S_

_Why aren't you going? –L_

_Whatever. –S_

Lily comfortably settled into her bed after that, thinking she could have at least a half hour sleep. This was getting ridiculous; she was going to be dead from lack of sleep in a matter of days, let a lone after a week!

Unfortunately, it was only about twenty-minutes later that she was woken up yet again by a loud crash coming from downstairs.

_What on earth is going on_? She thought, groaning. After a second of deliberation, she hopped out of bed before going to investigate. After all, she was head girl.

* * *

><p><em>Twenty minutes earlier…<em>

Sirius groaned as he climbed out of the portrait hole. This was just typical of him. Why was he such an idiot? This was the second time in one night that he had chosen dare… the first time wasn't so bad; grab a cream pie from the kitchens and levitate it into Professor Kettleburn's window. But this… he sighed, then began walking through the corridors loudly, careful to keep an ear out for any footsteps.

He was lucky. The first one to find him was the cat.

The moment he saw the faint outline of the cat walking towards the staff room, Sirius whipped out his wand and stunned it.

"Gotcha," he whispered, grinning, before grabbing the cat by it's tail and running down the hallway to the closest chandelier. He then proceeded to levitate the limp animal and attached its tail to the light.

"Nice job, Sirius", he said to himself, pulling the Marauders Map out of his pocket. After all, Lily had only told him not to use magic when doing the dare; but the dare was done now, wasn't it?

He glanced at it quickly, checking to see if he was clear, then went to put it away again. But something caught his attention. There was his dot, labeled _Sirius Black_. But, right next to it – so close it seemed to be on top of his dot – was a dot labeled _Minerva McGonagall_.

"Oh dear," he muttered, turning around. "I'm sorry, Professor, I-"

He paused.

There was no one there.

Then a thought hit him.

"Oh dear Merlin, no." Slowly, ever so slowly he pulled out his wand. "_Lumos._"

He looked at the cat hanging from the chandelier. It was a tabby cat, and had markings around his eyes.

Sirius had seen this cat before.

But it definitely was not Mrs. Norris.

Now, Sirius Black had never been one to be afraid of breaking the rules. How could he, being a Marauder and all? But when he realized that he had just hung Professor McGonagall off a chandelier by her tail, he started to hyperventilate.

"Oh crap," he muttered. "Crap, crap, crap."

He stood still, frozen to the spot as he considered his options.

He couldn't take her down. She'd know that some-one had stunned her, surely – she wasn't stupid – but he could hardly leave her there all night!

A memory charm was definitely out of the question – what if he did it wrong?

But, there was the possibility that she hadn't seen him… it was dark after all…

Sirius stopped himself from thinking that. He couldn't just leave her hanging there! What if Peeves came along?

But then, in the wand light, Sirius saw McGonagall's ear twitch.

She was waking up.

And that made his decision for him.

He ran as fast as he could back to the common room, not even bothering to check the map.

"Dormouse," he panted as he skidded to a stop in front of the Fat Lady. "For Merlin's sake, Dormouse!"

"What have you and your friends been doing today?" grumbled the Fat Lady. "Running up, waking me in the middle of the night… First that Lupin, now you…"

But Sirius paid her no attention, and lunged through the open portrait hole. But in a second he was back out again.

"Oh, and if McGonagall shows up, could you please not tell her I was out? Thanks."

Then he jumped through again.

"The nerve…" muttered the Fat Lady. But she smiled fondly. She had seen many students over the years, but none of them had kept her as amused as the Marauders.

Meanwhile, in the common room, Sirius was madly dashing for the staircase. However, he misjudged the position of one of the armchairs – despite his having run into the common room many times during the past six and a half years – and crashed into it, flying over the armrest and smashing into the small table in front of the chair. That wouldn't have been so bad, if the table had not been made of glass.

"Ow," he muttered, rolling over. This, of course, was not a good idea, and he winced as the sharp pieces of glass pressed into his side.

"Sirius?"

"Go away," he muttered.

"What _are_ you doing?"

"You and your bloody dares," muttered Sirius, glaring at Lily as he pulled himself up, scratching his hands in the process. Lily rolled her eyes and waved her wand, fixing the table.

"I take it you finished the dare, then, and this-" she gestured to the now repaired table "-was due to an attempt to escape Filch?"

"Well… not quite." said Sirius, examining his hands.

"So you didn't do the dare?"

"Well, I hung a cat up on the chandelier… it was just the wrong cat." Sirius kept his eyes on his hands, which he had now begun to heal. When you run around with a werewolf once a month, you learn quite a few healing spells.

Lily frowned.

"I don't-" Sirius winced as understanding dawned on her face. "You didn't?"

"Unfortunately."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I didn't mean to do it!"

Lily couldn't help it. She was just so tired, and the situation was so ridiculous and unexpected, that she just started to laugh.

"Oh, Sirius," she muttered. "You know what this means?"

"I'm going to be in detention for the next month?"

"No. Well, yes, possibly, but that isn't what I meant."

"What, then?"

"You have to do a chicken."

"What? NO! Lily, please, don't do this to me!"

Lily sighed, looking at his face, which he had masterfully arranged into a pout.

"Stay here," she sighed. "I have an idea."

Lily ran up to her dorm, then came back and sat on the sofa next to Sirius, parchment in hand.

"What do I have to do to wake them up?"

"Just write their names on the parchment."

"Alright then. Man, they are going to kill me for this."

_James, Remus, Alice, Hestia, Frank, Peter. I apologize for waking you up. –L_

_Why was the waking up necessary? Has Sirius done his dare yet? The dare was good though, and I applaud you for that. –J_

_Ah, there lies the problem. I kinda did… but kinda didn't. –L_

_What? I thought Sirius was doing a dare, not you? –H_

_Where are you, anyway? –A_

_And anyone know where Sirius is? –R_

_Sorry, Sirius stole my parchment. –L_

_Wait, you're with him? –H_

_Yes, I am alive, don't worry (Although it was looking a little doubtful there, and I doubt I will survive my next encounter with our lovely transfiguration professor) and I am here, in the common room, with Lily. –L_

_Sirius, what did you do? –R_

_I'm more interested in why Lily saw fit to interrupt our sleep, to be honest. –F_

_Right, well, Sirius and I propose a rule change. –L_

_We do? –L_

_Yes, we do. –L_

_Why? –L_

"Sirius, stop stealing my parchment!"

"Well, sorry! It's just you told me to stay here while you got yours!"

Lily sighed and turned back to her parchment.

_Man, this is confusing… -P_

_Tell me about it. Lily never talks to herself! –A_

_Sorry, Sirius keeps stealing this. –L_

_Why don't you just talk to him out loud? –H_

_Just did. Anyway, can one of you guys bring down Sirius' parchment? –L_

_No way am I getting out of my bed. –R_

_James? –L_

_Sorry, Lils. –J_

_Just _Accio_ it. –A_

_Can't. It's another security charm. –L_

_That was Sirius again, by the way. –L_

_Wow, you guys take this game so seriously. –F_

_Anyway, the rule change? –R_

_Yes, thank you Moony. Lily, what is the rule change that we want? –L_

"Sirius, I'm going to need your help here," said Lily.

"Why?"

"I want to edit the chicken rule, to help you."

"Um… right?"

"Yeah. I want to try and make it so that, if the victim partially completed the dare, the chicken can be chosen by the darer, rather than voted upon, but it must comply to the rules… like a normal dare."

"Yeah, you can do that."

"Okay, cool."

_Yes, Padfoot and Flower would like to edit RULE… well, the chicken rule... That wasn't actually on the rule list, was it? –L_

_No, Pads, it wasn't. –J_

_Right… hey, how'd you know it was me? –L_

_Lily wouldn't refer to herself in third person. –J_

_Ah. Well, anyway, we would like to introduce RULE 16: when a victim has only partially or slightly incorrectly – oh, hang on a sec, Lily's chasing me around the room. –L_

This was true – Lily was growing frustrated at his hogging of the parchment, and had tried to rip it from his grasp – but Sirius had danced away from her, quickly finishing the sentence before jumping onto an armchair.

_What I would give to be watching that… -H  
><em>

_Well, all you have to do is give up the comfort of your bed… -R_

_True. I'd rather stay here. I can hear enough. –H_

They all stopped writing for a moment to listen to the crashes coming from downstairs.

_Should we go and break them up? –A_

_Nah. –J_

_James! That is your girlfriend and best friend down there, possibly killing each other! –A_

_True… It's also Hestia's best friend and Hestia's boyfriend, and are you yelling at her? –J_

_I'm not yelling! –A  
><em>

_I can feel it from here. –J_

_Al, your glaring at that piece of parchment like it insulted you… -H_

_Well, it did! –A_

_Next time someone gets to dare her again, can they renew the quotes? –F_

_Frank! Your meant to be on my side! –A_

Luckily for Frank, he was saved by a yell that floated up the stairs and was possibly heard by the whole castle, or maybe the whole of Scotland.

"SIRIUS BLACK GET OFF ME RIGHT THIS SECOND!"

_I'm back! –L_

_Judging from that yell, I'll take it your Sirius? –R_

_Yep. –L_

_Out of curiosity, did you hear that, Peter? –F_

_I heard a yell, but I couldn't figure out what was being said… -P_

_Wow. Lily has quite the lungs on her. –H_

_I know! I was right next to her! –L_

"BLACK, I AM NOT JOKING! IF YOU DON'T GET OFF ME IN TWO SECONDS…"

_Wow. I feel for you mate. –J_

_My ears! Oh, hang on, I have an idea. This will stop her from yelling.–L_

_Anyway, the rule change… -F_

_Right. Flower and I would like to introduce RULE 16: when a victim has only partially or slightly incorrectly completed their dare, instead of doing a chicken they are merely given another normal dare by the darer – oh hang on a sec, Lily's talking to me. –L_

_Will we ever get this finished? –P_

_Doubt it. –A  
><em>

_Hurry up, mate, I'm tired! –J_

"Sirius, you need… to add… that, that the new dare does not need… to be written… on the paper, it can… be given verbally," panted Lily, having difficulty breathing due to Sirius' position on her stomach.

"Why?" asked Sirius suspiciously, looking down at Lily.

"Because… can you please… get off me, even just a little?"

Sirius shifted his body so that less of his weight was on Lily's stomach, back to the position he had been in originally. After Lily had nearly burst his eardrums, Sirius had placed all is weight on her, partially cutting off her air supply and limiting her ability to speak.

Now, however, she could breathe… and speak… and due to her new position, she could reach her wand.

"OW! BLOODY HELL, EVANS!"

_Ooh, that does not sound good!_ –J

_Poor Sirius… -H_

_Well, 'poor Sirius' is currently lying on the ground clutching his bottom. If you guys knew what he did to me you wouldn't be saying 'poor Sirius'… -L_

_Lily, I take it? –H_

_Yes. Finally, I got my parchment back. –L_

_ANYWAY, for the hundredth time, rule change! –R_

_Right! Sirius and I want to introduce rule 16: where if the victim has done his dare slightly incorrectly, or only partially, they do not get a chicken; they get given a normal dare from the darer. However, this dare does not have to be written on the parchment - it can be told verbally – and does not have to - oh, hang on, one sec –L_

_You know, she and Sirius really aren't that different… -A_

"LILY! THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR!"

_You know what, Alice, I think you might be right. –R_

_What's going on? –P_

_Lily and Sirius are yelling at each other. –J_

_Of course they are. –P_

_Right, back. Now then, do I have to rewrite all of that, or can I just finish it? –L_

_Just finish it please, or we will never get anywhere. –R_

_All right then. It can be told verbally and does not have to be told to the rest of the players. In fact, the victim and the darer MUST NOT tell any other players until the dare is completed, when all players must be informed. Done. Now VOTE! –L_

_Er… I would say Aye, but I am not sure about the 'does not have to be told to the rest of the group' part. –F_

"HA!"

_Sounds like Padfoot got Lily's parchment again. –J_

_That I did, Prongsie, that I did. And Frank, you have already said Aye… -L_

_Damn! –F_

_And, I say Aye! –L_

_You can't, cause technically it thinks you're Lily. And I say Aye, by the way. –J_

_Damn it! –L_

_You are so whipped, Prongs. –R_

_Hey! -J_

_James, can you write Aye on my parchment for me? Remember, as per Marauder code you are not allowed to write anything I don't want you to. –L_

_Then what are you doing? –H_

_Lily is not a Marauder. –L_

_Right… -H_

_Aye. –S_

_Thanks Prongs. –L_

_No prob. –J_

_Oh, and Aye, by the way. Can't wait to see what Lils does to you, Sirius. –H_

_What? No, she said she's helping me! –L_

_And you believed her? –A_

… _-L_

_Just as I thought. And Aye. –A_

_Aye. –P_

_Nay. –R_

_Why not, Moony? –P_

_Because, while you guys are thinking about the torture Lily will inflict on one Sirius Black, I am remembering that this rule will be in place for the rest of the game and so can be used against me in the future… -R_

_But Moony, it means we have less chance in having to do a chicken! –J_

_True, but I can't withdraw my vote. –R_

_Right. –J_

_Anyway, rule passed with an 87.5% Majority! –L_

"Lily, Lily they passed it!"

"Good, now can you free me please?"

Sirius looked over to where Lily was stuck to the wall with duct tape – a Muggle invention that Sirius had fallen in love with one day when he visited Remus' house. (Remus, being a half-blood, had a couple of Muggle things in his home.)

"Sure." With a flick of his wrist, Lily was free.

However, her expression scared him. It was not furious, as he expected. No, it was… smug? Excited? Evil? Yeah, evil mastermind pretty much covered it.

"What?" asked Sirius warily.

"Want to hear your dare?"

"Um… do I have a choice?"

"You can't tell anyone, remember?"

"Er..."

Lily moved closer to him, and Sirius gulped.

Lily leaned in to whisper the dare in his ear.

Every person currently asleep in the Gryffindor dorms – and the ones that were awake as well – jumped as Sirius voice rang through the tower _again_.

"WHAT?"

"Exactly what I said, Black."

"NO! NO, I REFUSE! GIVE ME ANYTHING ELSE! ANYTHING!"

"You want a chicken?"

"YES!"

"Well, for starters you could stop yelling."

"Um, okay."

"And no, I won't give you a chicken… you can't request it, remember?"

"I can just not do the dare."

"Yes, and then I could give you something infinitely worse."

"Nothing could be worse than, than _that_!"

"Oh, trust me Black, I could think of something."

"Fine then." Sirius glared at Lily. "I'll do it. But, prepare yourself for a heck of a day tomorrow."

Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius walked towards the staircase. Then he paused.

"But why?" he asked.

"Why what?"

"Why would you ask me do that? You'll affected, too, you know."

"No, I won't, cause _he_ won't be doing anything. I bet he'll yell at you."

"How much?"

"What?"

"How much are you betting?"

"Five galleons?"

"Done. But you know he'll probably just sit there in shock."

"We'll see, Padfoot. We'll see."

* * *

><p>The moment Lily got back upstairs, she collapsed on her bed and fell asleep.<p>

The others, however, continued.

_So, what's she making you do? –J_

_Can't tell you. –S_

_Oh yeah... –J_

_Anyway, I think everyone else went to bed. -J_

_Well, no need to wake them up again. James, T or D? –S_

_After that fiasco, I'll take T –J_

_If you had to hook up with someone that is playing the game – not including Lily – who would you pick? –S_

_Alice. –J_

_Seriously? –S_

_Yeah. There's no way I'd pick one of the guys, and I think Frank is less likely to kill me than you are. Pete, T or D? –J_

_T –P_

_If you were turned into a girl for a day, what is the first thing you would do? –J_

_Ask another girl why girls are so complicated! –P_

_Man, If I asked Sirius that I would have gotten a completely different response… -J_

_Frank, T or D? –P_

_T. –F_

_Do you want to marry Alice? –P_

_Yes, one day. Hestia, T or D? –F_

_T. –H_

_What is the worst thing about being a girl? –F_

_Isn't it obvious? PMS! –H_

_-shudders- -F_

_You asked for it. Alice, T or D? –H_

_T. –A_

_How far would you go with some-one you've just met? –H_

_Nowhere at all, I've got Frank. Remus, T or D? –A_

_T. No way am I going out after that hat incident. –R  
><em>

_Have you ever gone a whole day without wearing any underwear? –A_

_Er… Yes, I have. Lily, T or D? –R_

_Ugh, Rem, I just got to sleep! But T. –L_

_Sorry, Lils. And the question – Have you ever flashed some one? –R_

_No. Goody-two-shoes, remember? Peter, T or D? –L_

_T. –P_

_Have you ever skinny-dipped? –L_

_Yeah, James and Sirius made me on a dare a couple of times. Sirius, T or D? –P_

_T. NO WAY am I doing another dare… Minnie will have my skin! –S_

_What did you do to her on your dare? Why do you think she'll kill you? –P_

_That's more than one question… but I'll answer it. You know how I was supposed to hang Mrs. Norris by the chandelier? –S  
><em>

_Yeah. –P_

_I got the wrong cat. –S_

_What? –P_

_Honestly, can you be any slower? I hung her on the chandelier by her tail! –S_

_Oh my Merlin. –P_

_Yeah. Hest, T or D? –S_

_T. –H_

_If I was a type of food, what would I be and how would you eat me? –S_

_You really do ask the strangest questions. –H_

_And you love it. –S_

_Whatever. But I think you would be a… probably a peppermint frog, because you're so hyper all the time. And I would just eat you… how do you describe eating a peppermint frog? –H_

_I don't know, but that will do. Do you really think I look like a frog? –S_

_No, I said because you are hyper… you know, how they hop in your stomach? Anyway, Frank, T or D? –H_

_T. –F_

_Have you ever lied to Alice? If so, name one instance. –H_

_Oh, that one's easy. Yes, I have, when I went to buy her birthday present last year I told her I had a sore foot and needed to go to the hospital wing and so couldn't go to Hogsmeade with her, and for her to go and spend the day with you guys. –F  
><em>

_Oh yeah, I remember that! Now I feel dumb for wasting a question. –H_

_-winks.- Lily, T or D? –F_

_T. –L_

_Describe three things you like about yourself. –F_

_Merlin, I guess I should just be glad you didn't ask James or Sirius about that. –L_

_Just answer it. –F_

_Okay… I like that I am doing well enough in class, I like that I managed to get Head Girl, and I like that I am going out with James Potter. –L_

_Aww, thanks Lils! –J_

_Why are you awake? –L_

_You wrote my name on the parchment, and woke me up. –J_

_Yeah, me too. –S_

_Oh, sorry. –L_

_No bother. –J_

_For you, maybe, but if you knew what she's making me do tomorrow… -S_

_Padfoot… -L_

_Sorry Flower. –S_

_Since when was he Padfoot? –J_

_Since this morning. –L_

_It is this morning… about four in the morning, in fact. –J_

_Earlier this morning then. Now, stop writing, I want to sleep. James, T or D? –L_

_Fine. T. –J_

_Do you love me? –L_

_Yes. You already knew that, though. Why are you asking? –J_

_I think she's feeling guilty, so she's letting you down easy. –S_

_Why would she be feeling guilty? –J_

_No reason. Just ask someone James. And Sirius? SLEEP. I will not tolerate you if you're grumpy in the morning. –L_

_Flower, I am going to be grumpy whatever, no thanks to you. –S_

_Whatever. –L_

_Remus, T or D? –J_

_T. –R_

_What is the best thing about your life right now? –J_

_You guys. –R_

_All right! Two people telling me that I am one of the best things in their life in a row! –J_

_Merlin! No need to let it get to your head! Hest, T or D? –R_

_T. –H_

_What about Sirius irritates you the most? –R_

_His eating habits. –H_

_Fair enough. –R_

_Lils, T or D? –H_

_Hest, I just went! –L_

_Live with it, Lils. –H_

_You are _so_ mean. –L_

_I know. But come on, pick! And remember, you are getting close to finishing your truth quota… -H_

_Fine then, but if you make me go out of the common room I will murder you. D. –L_

_Don't worry I'm not that mean. At least, not after that whole thing before… no, I want you to go and spend the rest of the night in Remus' bed. Oh, and Remus has to be in the bed as well. –H_

_WHAT? Can't it be James' bed? Please, please, please? –L_

_Geez, Lils, stop writing my name! I know you love me and can't stop talking about me and all, but you don't have to keep waking me up. –J_

_Same here, only without the love bit. –R_

_Have you seen what she's making me do? –L_

_Hestia Jones, you will regret that. –J_

_Really Hest? Prongs'll kill me! –R_

_No I won't, I trust you Moony. However, if you _do_ try something… You, on the other hand, Hest… -J_

_Oooh, I'm so scared. –H_

_I guess it isn't so bad… It could have been worse. –L_

_How so? –J_

_Well, it could have been Sirius' bed. –L_

_Hey! And stop waking me up! –S_

_Sorry! –L_

_Okay, from now on, when referring to another person while they are sleeping – unless you are asking them a question – just use their initial. Okay? –H_

_Okay. –L_

_Now, Lily, Why are you still here? –H_

_Okay, okay. Geez. But if I fall down the stairs out of tiredness, make sure that 'Reckless dare given by Hestia Jones' is written on my death certificate. –L_

_Sure thing, Lils. –H_

It didn't take Lily long to get to the boy's dorm, and when she did she was greeted by James, who gave her a quick kiss before directing her to Remus' bed before she fell.

Of course, trying to sleep in Remus' bed was worse than trying to sleep in her own. Not only was it slightly uncomfortable to be sleeping in the same bed as a boy who was not James – she had stayed in the boys dorm a couple of time before – but she was not only woken up when some-one asked her a question, but also when some one asked Remus. It was just as bad for him.

When it was time to wake up, Lily still felt unbelievable tired. Through out the whole night, she probably got about five hours sleep… and three and a half of those were from when Sirius and Remus were in detention.

"Morning Flower, Moony, Prongs," groaned Sirius. "And notice how I skipped the 'good' part of the greeting…" He glared at Lily as she climbed out from under Remus' sheets.

"You know, you brought this upon yourself," she said tiredly.

"No, I didn't! You were the one that dared me in the first place!"

"If you had actually checked which cat you were picking up-"

"It was pitch black! And anyway, you _know_ that that is not the only thing I'm dreading…"

"Yeah, I know." Lily smirked at him, then threw a sympathetic glance at James before she went back to her own dorm.

"Why do I get the feeling that your dare had something to do with me?" asked James.

"Can't tell you mate," said Sirius. "But I'll tell you this. You ain't gonna like it."

Then a thought hit him that made him happier than he thought possible on that terrible morning.

Quicker than a bolt of lightening, Sirius grabbed his clothes and dashed for the shower, looking forward to finally, _finally_ getting that icky – and now somewhat smelly – tomato sauce out of his hair.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, sorry if this turns out long, but I have lots of people to thank and acknowledgments to make, so...<strong>

**- First, that brilliant dare of Sirius' where he mistakes McGonagall for Mrs. Norris... That was provided by _WobblyJelly_.**

**- Next, James' truth about who he would date other than Lily was from _InsaneIsMyMiddleName._**

**Thank you heaps to both of you!**

**- Lastly, all those Quotes: **

**~I am easily satisfied with the very best - Winston Churchill**

**~Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died - Steven Wright**

**~Doing the right thing is more important than doing the thing right - Peter F. Drucker**

**~A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere - Groucho Marx**

**~Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies - Mother Teresa**

**There. Done. **

**Look out for the next chapter! It will be breakfast and possibly classes... again, depends on how much I write.  
><strong>


	7. Confessions and History of Magic

**Hello, hello, hello! You all on Pottermore yet? I certainly am! I wouldn't miss it for the world! (Well, not the _world_, but you get my point.)  
><strong>

**And wow you guys! So many reviews! Thanks! And to all of you guys who said you are looking forward to Sirius' dare... I sincerely hope I do not disappoint! (And yes, I am excited... not sure why, but hence the !-ness!)**

**Also, just so you know, updates may be slightly less inconsistent now... School has just come back after the winter holidays, so yeah. That's why, in case you were wondering.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize, as well as almost all the dares... as always, acknowledgments below!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

TUESDAY MORNING: Confessions and History of Magic

Getting ready that morning was a somewhat difficult experience, as the Gryffindors kept on having to write on their parchments every couple of minutes, but they managed.

The boys noticed that, despite his newly cleaned hair, Sirius was getting more and more agitated. They would have thought this was just nervousness over seeing professor McGonagall after last night, if he didn't seem to be avoiding James.

The girls, however, were in quite a good mood; Alice's happiness over finally being able to talk normally and Lily's excitement about Sirius' upcoming dare was contagious, and even Marlene and Mary's questions about why they could hear the Marauders yelling out their names all night couldn't dampen their good spirits.

It wasn't long before the girls all bounded down the stairs to meet the boys in the common room.

"Good morning!" said Lily.

"Hmph."

"What, you don't think it is a good morning, Sirius," teased Lily.

"I know very well that it is not."

"What happened exactly last night?" asked Alice. "I couldn't get much from the yelling…"

"She's daring me again," muttered Sirius, "but I can't tell you what she's making me do."

"And you shouldn't be mentioning it," said Lily.

"And why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Come on, guys, we've got to go and get Wormtail before breakfast," said Remus.

"Good point!" the word 'breakfast' was the only thing needed to get Sirius out of the common room, no matter how bad the morning was going to be.

"Can't Peter find his own way to the Great Hall?" Lily asked James as they followed after Sirius. "Why do we have to go and get him?"

"You don't have to come if you don't want to, but the reason we go is because Poppy always tries to keep us in there as long as she possibly can, and Peter isn't as good as the rest of us at talking his way out of the hospital wing."

"Poppy? You're on first name terms?"

"Yeah. The four of us are in there so much we're practically best friends."

"I can believe that. Though why anyone would want to be best friends with you…"

Their conversation was cut short as their watches warmed.

_Lily, truth or dare? –F_

Lily looked behind her to see that Frank had paused to lean against the wall. Sighing, she pulled out her quill and motioned James to stay still so she could lean on his back.

_Truth. –L_

_Aww, Lils, you always pick truth! –S_

_No I don't! And I did a dare last night, thank you. Come on, Frank, what's my question? –L_

_Have you ever deliberately – and secretly - watched someone while they were changing or showering? _–F

_Well, it wasn't like I planned it or anything… -L_

_Wait, so you have? –F_

_Oooh, naughty, naughty Lils. Do tell. –S_

Lily glanced down at James, who was still acting as her desk and so was in no position to look at his parchment. With a sigh, she started to write.

_I wanted to talk to James, and Remus had told me he was supposedly at Quidditch practice, but all the other team members had already come back. So I went down to the pitch to look, and he was in the changing rooms… -L_

_And you watched? –F_

_As I said before, it wasn't like I planned it… I just… -L_

_Couldn't look away? –H_

Sirius winked at his girlfriend from his position next to the wall.

_Sounds like you know the feeling, Hest. –S  
><em>

_Yeah… I just love watching James getting changed…-H_

_Hey! –S  
><em>

_Hestia, T or D? –L_

_Stop changing the subject, Lils! –F  
><em>

_I am well within my rights to ask that question. –L_

_But… but… surely it isn't my go yet? –H_

_Revenge for last night. –L_

_You are so evil. Dare. –H_

"Lily, are you done yet?" whined James. "It's just I think my back is starting to cramp… Not that I'm complaining or anything…"

"Sure you're not," laughed Lily.

"How much longer?"

"One sec. I'm just daring Hest."

"Oh, well that's all right then. Wait, what was your truth? Seeing as you didn't do a dare."

Lily ignored him.

_I dare you to flirt with every geeky or ugly or nerdy or greasy or Slytherin etc etc male that you see until dinner. –L_

_Oh, no, please no, no… -H_

_I have a question… -A_

_Yes? –L_

_Does that include teachers? –A_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no…–H_

_Of course it does. I said _every_, didn't I? –L_

_Nooooooooooooooo! –H_

_Brilliant! –A_

_Why, thank you. –L_

_I hate you. I really, really hate you. –H_

_It's funny how people seem to say that to me all the time. –L_

_Lily, do you have it out for me, or something? –S_

Lily laughed, and rolled up her parchment to allow James to straighten up.

"No, Sirius," she replied, winking at him. "You know I only do it because I love you."

"I knew it!" He exclaimed happily. "Just like how Prongs used to annoy you all the time!"

"Used to?" asked Lily, plastering a confused look on her face. "What do you mean _used to_?"

"Hey, that's not fair," said James, pouting as he pulled out his parchment to see what they had written and to try and figure out what they were talking about as they continued towards the Hospital Wing. It was not long before he was laughing. "Well, Hest," he said, "Should I be flattered that you haven't flirted with me yet?"

"Git," muttered Hest, whacking him over the head. "But that reminds me-"

Hest ran forward to catch up with Alice, Frank and Remus who were a little ways ahead.

Lily tried, she really did, to keep her laughter in check as Hestia placed he hand on Remus' arm, looked up at him through her lashes and whispered in his ear.

Sirius, on the other hand, was fuming.

"Oh, get over it," muttered Lily, as she ran forward to enter the Hospital wing with the others.

After they had collected a very annoyed Peter, they made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. They were slightly late, as they had been stopped for a while before when Lily was daring Hest. When they walked through the doors, the found themselves at the center of everyone's attention. Everything was very quiet, but Lily had a feeling that everyone had been talking a moment before.

Then she noticed something. Not everyone was staring at them. Several pairs of eyes were following the figure that was making it's way towards them.

"Aw crap," muttered Sirius.

"What do you to say for yourselves?" asked McGonagall, standing in front of the Seventh Years. It was then that Lily noticed she wasn't talking to all of them, just the Marauders.

She whispered this to Hest and Alice, and the three of them – plus Frank – made their way over to the Gryffindor table, smug smiles on their lips as three murderous glares and one confused glance were sent their way.

Then Lily noticed something else. Something was not right.

She elbowed Hestia.

Hestia turned to the nearest Slytherin she could see, and smiled flirtatiously, adding a wink for good measure.

Ah, that was better.

"What's going on?" Lily asked as she slid beside Mary, ignoring Hestia as she waved to an ugly Hufflepuff third year.

"Apparently," giggled Mary, "Some one hung Professor McGonagall on a chandelier by her tail last night! And everyone knows who are the most likely people to do something like that!"

"Who?" asked Alice, cocking her head. "The Slytherins?"

"No, I mean the Marauders," said Mary, looking affronted.

"But they wouldn't do something like that," said Frank, frowning. "I mean, sure, they play a lot of pranks, but they'd never do something like that to McGonagall! Not even for a…" Frank's eyes widened. "…Dare."

Frank and Alice – Hestia was too busy winking at Connor Smith – who had not heard about what had happened the night before, looked at Lily questioningly.

Lily nodded.

Alice gasped.

"Oh my Merlin…" Alice said quietly, careful not to let Marlene and Mary overhear. "No wonder Sirius was looking horrible this morning! And here I was thinking that the dare you planned for him was the reason…"

"That was only part of the reason," laughed Lily.

"Yeah, I think we're all curious about that. What is it?" asked Remus, squeezing between Lily and Marlene. James sat opposite Lily, leaving two spots: next to James, or next to Lily.

Sirius sat next to Lily.

"I can't tell you," replied Lily, "But you'll be finding out soon enough!" she stared pointedly at Sirius.

"Just let me eat first," he whined, "I have a feeling I'll have to leave after this, and I want to have eaten before that happens!"

"Okay, fine. But how did you guys get out of that, anyway?" asked Lily, referring to their recent encounter with McGonagall.

"Lots of charm, a smile-"

"And lack of evidence," said Remus, cutting across Sirius.

"That's all?" asked Frank.

"We're not about to reveal Marauder secrets," said James, winking.

"Whatever," muttered Lily. "Hest, your turn."

_Alice, T or D? –H_

_D. I haven't done one since yesterday, I must have used up my quota of truths. –A_

_I dare you to act like James did in fifth year until lunch. If I have to last that long, so do you. –H_

_Um, Hest, your dare was until dinner. –L_

_Damn! Can I change it? –H_

_No. –S_

_By the way, thanks Hest, this will be fun! –A_

_I mean COMPLETELY like James did, though. And you know what James liked to do back then? What he did for most of his time? –H_

_I don't… oh. OH. No, no, no, no, no… -A_

_This is what you get for laughing at me before. –H_

_I'm so sorry! –A_

_Hey, are you guys somehow trying to hint at the fact that acting like me is a _bad_ thing? –J_

_Of course not, whatever gave you that idea? –A_

_Good. –J_

_Ali, Sarcasm doesn't seem to work when you write it. –L_

_Yeah, I'm realizing that. –A_

_WHAT? –J_

_By the way, your hair looks really nice today, Lils. –A_

_Where did that come from? Why is Prewett acting strange? –P_

_Look at the dare, Wormtail. –S_

_Oh, right. –P_

_By the way, Ali, you didn't do that right. In fifth year, Flower was still 'Evans'. –S_

_Oh, okay. I'll try again. –A  
><em>

_By the way, your hair looks really nice today, Evans. –A_

_Lovely! But just one more thing… -S_

_By the way, your hair looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL today, Evans. Go out with me? –A  
><em>

_Now your getting it! –S_

_Hey! I resent that! –J_

_And here I was thinking I no longer had to put up with that… -L_

_Sorry, Lils. –A_

_Alice… -H_

_I mean… You know you love me really, Evans. Go on, give me a chance! –A_

_Much better. –H_

_Aw, guys, you've made James sulk! –F_

_He needs to man up a little. –A_

_Um, no, Alice, I'm sorry, but… no. –S_

_Your just jealous that your not as cool as me, Pads. –A_

_Still no. –S_

_Sirius, she's acting the way we saw James, not how he acted around you guys. That was the dare. –L_

_No it wasn't! –S_

_Yeas it was. –H_

_But… -S_

_No buts. –H_

_Hest, stop waving at those Ravenclaws! That short one looks like he wants to jump you! –S_

_Uh, Padfoot, I think that's the point. –P_

_Moony, dare or dare? –A_

_Now that's more like it. –S_

_Fine… dare. –R_

_Wear your underwear on the outside of your clothes until you get a detention from Slughorn. –A_

_But we don't have Slughorn until this afternoon! –R_

_I know. -A_

_Nice. –J_

_Glad I have your approval. (Sarcasm, by the way, in case your poor little brain didn't understand…) –A_

_Your doing a good job, there, Al. –L_

_Why, thank you, Evans, I knew you liked me! Want to go to Hogsmeade with me? -A  
><em>

_No way, Potter. –L_

_Humph. –J_

_Your loss. By the way, anyone happen to know who won the Puddlemere United game on Sunday? Moony? –A  
><em>

_Moony's gone to the bathroom to change his clothes. -P  
><em>

_That's right! It was fantastic, wasn't it! I saw it in the _Profit_… there was a picture of Baker and Saunders doing a Porskoff Ploy… Brilliant! –A_

_Oh my Merlin, it's like she's known Prongs all her life! –P_

_Okay, this is starting to get on my nerves... –J_

_Hey look, Moony's coming back! –S_

And so he was.

He was getting an awful amount of stares, and the whole hall seemed to be snickering. He ignored them, though, and walked straight to his seat, glaring at Alice as he passed.

He had followed his dare, and was now wearing light blue boxers over his school uniform. They were partially covered by his robes, but still _very_ visible.

_Frank, T or D? –R_

_I just went before we got Peter! –F_

_Too bad. T or D? –R  
><em>

_Fine… D. –F_

_Eat at the faculty table fore the rest of breakfast. –R_

_WHAT? –F_

_Go on, hop to it! –R_

_Wow, Moony, what's got you in such a bad mood? –A_

_Oh, it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you dared him to wear his underwear outside his clothes, would it? –L_

_Why would it? –A_

_Bloody brilliant! –S_

"Mr Longbottom, _what_ are you doing?" asked a shrill and stern voice.

The Gryffindor Seventh years, along with what felt like the rest of the school, looked up to see Frank sitting calmly in Flitwick's recently vacated seat next to McGonagall, cutting into a sausage.

"Eating my breakfast."

"What?"

"I'm eating my Breakfast, Professor. Is that so hard to understand?"

"You didn't tell him to be cheeky, did you?" Lily asked Remus.

"Nope. That's all him."

"This should be great!" said Alice, a grin on her face, before she glanced at Lily and ran a hand through her hair. Everyone bar James burst out laughing – he just sat and sulked.

"Would you please go back to your own table?"

"What do you mean, Professor?"

"Go back to the Gryffindor table now!"

"Just wait a moment, Professor, I have to finish my breakfast!"

"MR. LONGBOTTOM! YOU WILL RETURN TO YOUR TABLE NOW OR YOU WILL HAVE DETENTION FOR A MONTH!"

"Wow, McGonagall's testy this morning," muttered Sirius.

"And that wouldn't have anything to do with you, would it?" asked Remus.

Sirius grimaced.

Up at the high table, Frank was shoveling his food down his throat at a rate that might even make Sirius sick. Then, the moment he was done, he sprinted back to the Gryffindor table, followed by a shout of-

"TWENTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"Brilliant!" said Sirius, patting Frank on the back. "You could be a Marauder if you weren't so averse to pranks!"

Frank simply rolled his eyes.

_Peter, T or D? –F  
><em>

_D. –P_

_Way to go, Pete! –S_

"WAIT!" yelled Lily, stopping Frank from writing any further. Then she looked at Sirius, who groaned, and stood up. "Okay, continue," she gestured to Frank.

The others watched in confusion as Sirius walked the length of the table, then shrugged and turned back to the parchment.

_Eat all of this. –F_

Frank grabbed a bowl filled to the brim with margarine and shoved it in Peter's face.

_Oh, and no mixing it with anything to make it taste nicer. You have to eat it as it is. –F_

Peter stared at him.

"You have got to be kidding."

"Nope."

"Come on, Peter, eat it!" called James, unaware that Sirius was now walking along his side of the table, having merely walked around the end of the table, and not gone out of the hall like they all thought he had.

James' encouragement was all Peter needed.

He picked up a spoon and scooped up a large amount of margarine, then put it in his mouth and swallowed as quickly as he could, making a disgusted face.

"Ugh," said Hestia, shuddering slightly. "I think I'm going to be sick from just watching!"

James laughed at Peter's expression – he did feel sorry for him, but he had had his fair share of horrible dares in his time.

"Come on, Pete, you can do it!"

"James?" said a voice behind him. James turned around see Sirius staring at him with what could only be described as a lovestruck expression – and yet it seemed to be slightly intermingled with revulsion – on his face.

But James only had a few moments to register this.

Because the moment he turned around, he felt Sirius' lips on his.

Sirius was horrified. It felt like the entire school was watching him, although he knew that they couldn't be – at least, not yet. He could feel James trying to push him off, but Sirius held on. Lily had said ten seconds, and ten seconds is what she was going to get.

James froze as he felt Sirius' tongue pressing against his lower lip, and then shoved with all his might. Luckily for him, it had now been ten seconds, and Sirius gave in without a fight, falling to the floor.

"Padfoot, what the hell?" he said, trying to keep his voice down so he didn't attract too much attention. What he didn't realize, however, was that while Sirius was kissing him, Lily had managed to gain everyone's attention by conjuring a large flashing arrow, and that they had all seen Sirius kissing him.

There was silence, for a moment, and then…

"I knew it!" yelled Hestia. She was trying hard not to laugh, having caught on to what Sirius was doing, and wanting to get him back for making her look like a clown the day before. "I knew there was something going on between the two of you! Lils, pay up!"

She held her hand out to Lily.

"What?" asked Peter, frowning. "Why would you go out with Padfoot if you thought he was gay?"

"Oh, we made that bet in third year, when we saw them come out of a broom closet together," said Hestia, shrugging. "I had forgotten about it until now. Lily thought that they were planning a prank or something, but I bet that there was something more going on between them."

Lily, catching on to what Hestia was doing, sighed, and pulled a handful of coins out of her robes. Then she paused. This would only bring more trouble for James…

Oh well.

"Here you go Hest," she said, sniffing, before she turned to James. "And you! How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me!"

"Lily, I-" said James, but Lily cut him off.

"No! I can't believe-"

"This was one sided!" yelled James, horrified. "I didn't know- I do love you , I do!" Lily saw his frantic expression and took pity on him.

"Sorry," she said, leaning over the table to kiss James on the cheek. Then, she perked up further and held her hand out to Hest. "Did you hear that, Hestia! I think _you_ need to pay up!"

"Argh," said Hest, handing the money back. "But seeing as there _was_ something more there – even if it was only one sided – we should call it a draw."

"Deal."

"How I never noticed this, however, I have _no_ idea," said Hestia, staring at her boyfriend. "I mean, how much time does he spend standing in front of a mirror, fixing his hair? And he's always with James… He even had these little pet names for him!"

"I know," said Lily, shaking her head. "We must be blind."

"You know you could have just told me," Hestia said, looking down and Sirius who was still lying on the floor, staring at James with an expression that looked like he was aiming for horror or nervousness, but was looking more like pain. "I do care about you, Sirius, and I have nothing against gays… I'll support you through this, don't worry."

This seemed to make Sirius look more horrified, which was probably why Hestia had said it.

Sirius decided that this was the best moment to complete his dare, before the girls made everything so much worse.

"Oh my Merlin," he whispered. "James, I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me!"

"Thank Merlin for that," muttered James, staring at Sirius in horror, afraid that he would do something more. He was right to be afraid.

"It's just, I have resisted this for over six years! Every day I have to watch you, knowing that we could never be together because you were pining after Lily Evans. But recently, I have come to the conclusion that you were only chasing after her so no one would know your true feelings!"

"Merlin," gasped Lily, still trying _really hard_ not to laugh, and coming very close to failing. "I think he might be on to something!"

Hestia, the only one to hear her, giggled slightly, but luckily no one heard.

"Padfoot," said James, "I love Lily. I'm sorry, you're my best mate! I don't like you… in that way… I love Lily!"

"You hesitated!" said Sirius triumphantly. "I knew you always loved me too!" Sirius moved towards James again, and James scrambled backwards.

"Sirius mate, I think some-one has given you a love potion-"

"No, they can't have done," smirked Lily, making up believable and quite possibly true stories on the spot. "You see, love potions make the drinker infatuated, but they wouldn't just get up and kiss the person the potion has made them obsessed with. They also usually declare their love immediately, rather than kissing the at the breakfast table – especially if their 'loved one' doesn't want to kiss them."

"That's not very helpful, Lily," muttered James, still leaning backwards so that his hair was touching a plate of kippers. "I was rather hoping this isn't really him!"

"Oh, do you like me better the way I usually am?" asked Sirius hopefully. "I can go back to acting like that if you like! I just thought that as I had been like that for six and a half years, you might notice me more if I changed."

"Sirius," groaned James. "Get it into your head! I love Lily! I don't love you in that way!"

"I know you don't," said Sirius matter of factly.

"You do?"

"Yes. You only love Lily as a friend, or maybe a sister – as I said, you are only using her to hide your true feelings. You love me in a different way."

"Fine then!" yelled James, sounding slightly insane. "Fine!"

He stood up, and, not bothering to walk around the table, climbed over it, wrapped his arms around Lily and kissed her. Hard.

When he was done, he looked into the devastated face of Sirius Black, and said:

"I don't love you Sirius. I love Lily."

"No," whispered Sirius, tears streaming down his face.

_Well, I have to give it to him_, thought Lily, _he can act. One of the many perks of being a Marauder I suppose…_

"No, you can't! I know you love me!"

"I don't."

"You… you…" he whispered. Then he stopped, apparently 'not wanting to insult the man he loves', and started again. "How could you? I've loved you for years, and she hated you up until a couple of months ago! How could you betray me like this for _her_?"

"Sirius!" said James, horror struck. He had never learnt what you were supposed to do when your best friend-slash-brother told you he had a crush on you, then started to yell about your girlfriend.

"Well, I'm sorry to have caused you such an inconvenience!"

Then Sirius, deciding that if he stayed any longer he would burst out laughing, rushed out of the hall, tears still streaming down his face.

"What… what just happened?" asked Frank, while the hall erupted into whispers.

"I have no idea," said Alice, staring wide-eyed at the door where Sirius had ran out of sight.

James was still staring at the spot where Sirius had been a few moments ago.

"Go after him!" yelled Lily.

"What?" asked James, dumbstruck. "You want me to follow him?"

"Yes, go talk to him. You don't want to let this ruin your friendship!"

"Lily, I think it might be little too-"

"No, James. If you love me, you will follow him."

Thinking that was a little below the belt, James stared at Lily for a moment, then sighed and ran out of the Hall.

The moment he was gone, Lily burst out laughing, joined moments later by Hestia.

"What?" asked Remus, looking from Lily to Hestia to the door and back again. "What was that?"

Alice and Frank frowned, thinking, while Peter simply stared at Lily with his mouth hanging open, not realizing that there was a bit of margarine stuck on his chin.

"That… that…" gasped Hestia. But Remus got the message.

Slowly, a smile spread across his face.

"That was the dare wasn't it? The dare you gave to Sirius last night?"

Lily nodded, and then Remus was also in hysterics. Alice and Frank looked at each other before they too burst out laughing.

Peter, not in the mood for laughing as he felt he would be sick if he did, turned his attention back to the bowl of margarine, which was now only half full.

"You do realize that James is going to murder you, right?" chuckled Remus.

"Yeah," sighed Lily, "But it was worth it. He was the one that told me not to go easy on anyone, after all."

"Fair enough."

When Peter had finally finished his margarine and taken a trip to the bathroom to throw it all up again, they began to make their way the their first lesson of the day: History of Magic, which, to Hestia's dismay, they shared with the Slytherins.

They were in for an interesting lesson.

Their watches began to warm when they were about half way there.

_James, truth or dare? –P_

_Truth. I think I have been humiliated enough for one day. –J_

_Where are you by the way? –H_

_Outside the classroom with Pads. Honestly, Lily, I am going to kill you when I next see you! –J_

_You don't mean that. –L_

_Well, no, but as it is my turn next… -J_

Lily gulped as they rounded a corner. She could see James now, leaning his parchment on Sirius' back by the door.

_What is the thing you hate most about girls? –P_

_Ah, be careful what you say, there, James. –H_

_The way they say one ting and then mean another. Lily, truth or dare? –J_

Lily thought for a moment. She could pick truth and not be publicly humiliated, or she could pick dare, and be humiliated for sure. But then, James was sure to think up some horrible truth questions…

_Dare. –L_

_Oh, goody. –J_

_James, you better watch it. You know what Lily's like when angry… -A_

James looked behind him from where he was standing outside of the History of Magic classroom, and sighed. She was looking at him with the most adorable expression he had ever seen. He sighed.

_Fine. Lily, I dare you to talk non-stop during the lesson. –J_

Sirius coughed out a word that sounded suspiciously like '_whipped'_.

James whacked him over the head.

_Well, that's not too bad, I guess… -L_

"Hey there," said Hestia in a low voice, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers as she looked at the group of Slytherins that had just walked up. They looked at her with disgust.

"What do you want?" snapped Avery.

"You," whispered Hestia. Luckily for her, The door swung open at that moment, allowing the students to enter.

Hestia winked at the Slytherins, then went to her spot.

Alice, on the other hand, held the door open for Lily, ran her hands through her hair, and then, when she was in the classroom, sat next to Sirius and directly behind Lily.

"Get out of my seat, Alice," hissed James.

"It's not your seat," said Alice.

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't! I am titled to sit next to my best mate and behind the woman I love, so go away."

Muttering about how unfair life was, James took Alice's seat next to Frank.

"Hey Hestia," started Lily as Professor Binns floated into the classroom, "What are we going to do after classes? We have to continue with the game obviously, it's still got days left, but surely we can do something while we wait for our turns? Maybe I should get a start on that dream diary Alby gave us yesterday, as I didn't do it last night. Speaking of last night, if you expected me to just take sleeping in Remus' bed lying down – no pun intended – then you were very much mistaken-"

Lily continued to talk, not noticing that Hestia wasn't paying much attention at all: she was too busy waving and winking at the Slytherins and Professor Binns – who did not notice that his class was even more off task than usual.

James was too busy sulking to pay attention to anything; Alice was lounging back in her chair, never taking her eyes off the back of Lily's head and occasionally throwing notes – which were full of confessions of love and invitations to Hogsmeade - onto her desk, which went unnoticed as Lily continued to speak.

"I thought that was a good idea of Remus', did you see the look on McGonagall's face when Frank said he was eating breakfast? Oh, and the way Hagrid stared at Remus when we passed him in the corridors earlier… I thought I was going to be sick from trying not to laugh! I mean, it's not often you see perfect Remus-I-may-be-a-Marauder-but-I-am-also-a-prefect-Lupin wearing his underwear on the outside! I also thought I was going to be sick when I watched Peter eat that margarine-"

Remus was the only person actually paying attention in class, even though it was hard with the Slytherins sneering at his choice of clothes. Peter was staring out the window, wishing he could go and have a second breakfast to get the taste of vomit and margarine out of his mouth.

"I wonder if Binns notices that we aren't listening, and just talks anyway? I mean, this subject could be really interesting if he only animated his voice a little more, maybe even did some acting or something… maybe when I leave school I'll try and take his place to help the students learn a little more and actually pass their OWLs and NEWTs… but how would you get rid of some-one that has been teaching for Merlin knows how long and will never die? Well, never die again, seeing as he's already dead…"

Sirius was still moping about how the entire school now thought he was gay and in love with his best mate. Although, if he thought about it, it was a very good dare – one he would have applauded had he not been on the receiving end of it.

"Come on, Pads, cheer up," said Alice, whacking Sirius on the arm.

"What is there to be cheery about?"

"Well, have you seen the way Evans' hair shines in the light that is coming in through the window? And her lips just look so soft…"

"All right, all right," said Sirius, chuckling. "Your kind of creeping me out now, can't you talk about Quidditch instead?"

"Quidditch?" said Alice, sitting up straighter. "Well, we have a match coming up in two weeks, right Padfoot? We really should start training some more. I don't know what I have been doing these past few weeks…"

Then suddenly, Alice's face lit up as an idea hit her. She pulled out her wand and muttered:

"_Accio James' snitch!_"

James hadn't played with that snitch since the beginning of sixth year, but she knew he still had it… somewhere…

After about a minute, the snitch came floating lazily through the window, supposedly having flown down from Gryffindor tower.

"-can't wait until this class is over, it really is incredibly boring. Oh my Merlin, I think I've been spending way to much time with James-"

Frank groaned as he watched his girlfriend messing around with James' snitch. It was a good thing the boy in question hadn't noticed yet, but he was bound to notice really -

"Prewett! Why have you got my snitch!"

- soon.

As he watched James jump up and grab the snitch away from Alice's outstretched hands, Alice flick her wand causing James to be hoisted into the air by his ankle – all the while glancing at Lily and rumpling her hair, Hestia lick her lips while staring at a rather disturbed Severus Snape and Lily - studiously ignoring it all - yap away about the pros and cons of using a bezoar as opposed to an antidote, he decided that it was easily the most interesting History of Magic lesson he had ever been to in his life.

* * *

><p><strong>So, did it live up to your expectations? I sure hope it did...<strong>

**Anyway: (These may not be in order, but I'm just trying to get them all down...)**

**- Hestia's dare where she flirted with ugly/nerdy/Slytherin guys belongs to _iluvbowling4soup_;**

**- _InsaneIsMyMiddleName_ has struck once again with Remus' dare of putting his underwear on the outside of his clothes;**

**- _Mischeif1Managed_ brings us the dare where Frank had to eat breakfast at the fauclty table;**

**- _epickerthanyou_, another person who has contribute a lot, thought up the one where Lily had to keep talking;**

**- and that dare where Alice had to act like James: that one is the brilliant innovation of _sailing silk_!**

**Thank you all so much for your ideas! I loved them, and they were so much fun to write! There are some others that I haven't used yet, but I will. They're all great! Keep them coming!**


	8. Opera and Asking Out

**Once again, sorry for the delay. I had a bit of difficulty writing this one, so it turned out short and not up to usual standard... I just wanted it over and done with, so sorry if it yeah, another thing to apologize for: I have cut a few dares short. Sorry, sorry, sorry, it was just slow to write.  
><strong>

**And thanks for all the amazing reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Never have, never will. Sad, I know. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

TUESDAY MID-MORNING: Opera and Asking Out.

"Argh, my throat," moaned Lily as they walked out of the classroom. "I don't think I've ever talked that much before in my life."

"Stop talking then," said Alice. "It will help your throat."

"I can't not talk!" said Lily.

"Yes you can," replied Alice, smirking. "Of course, it would be much easier to not talk if you were kissing some-one-"

"Okay, I think you're taking your dare a little too seriously, Alice," said Hestia, shuddering. "That was not an image I wanted in my head."

"I do not act like that," muttered James.

"Well…"

"Padfoot, who's side are you on?"

"The winning side; which, of course, is Lily's side."

"I thought you were my best mate!"

"'_Thought'_ being the operative word in that statement…"

"No, 'thought' would not be the operative word Padfoot."

"Why not, Flower?"

"Because that would be implying that James can think."

"Hey!"

"Where'd Remus go?" asked Hestia, as she noticed that their numbers had gone down. "He was here a second ago…"

"He said something about looking for Slughorn," said Peter. "Don't know why though."

"Damn it!" said Sirius. "He's trying to get a detention so he can put his underwear back under his clothes! That's cheating!"

"No it isn't," said James. "Alice only said that he had to wear it like that until he got a detention from Slughorn, she never said when or where."

"Alice!" whined Sirius.

"Padfoot!" mimicked Alice.

"Alice!"

"Padfoot!"

"Alice!"

"Padfoot!"

"Prongs!"

"Shut up, Prongs, you're ruining our game!"

Lily, rolling her eyes, thought it best to get their thoughts onto another topic.

_Hestia, T or D? –L_

_D! –H_

_Try and climb on Hagrid's back._ _–L_

Hestia looked up ahead and saw Hagrid walking in front of them.

"No. Way."

"Yes way! Come on, Hestia, do it, do it, do it!" chanted Alice.

"I DO NOT CHANT!"

"Ah, but James, have you forgotten that incident at the beginning of fifth year?" said Lily, holding up a finger.

"You mean the one when he followed you around all day chanting '_say yes, say yes, say yes_'?"

"The very one, Padfoot."

"Good memory you have there, Flower."

"Why Padfoot, I'm blushing!"

"Stop it already, Lily, and change my dare!" interrupted Hestia.

"I can't, and you know that. You know, I'm starting to get annoyed with all this complaining… why can't people just go ahead and get it over and done with?"

"Fine!"

"And remember, no saying you've been dared, Hest!"

Muttering to herself, Hestia gave her bag to Sirius and pushed her way through the corridor until she was directly behind Hagrid, then prepared to jump.

"This is going to be great," said Alice, smirking and, once again, running a hand through her hair.

"Hey guys," said Remus, appearing from a tapestry on their left, clothes all back in their proper positions. "Slughorn just gave me a detention for asking him how hard it was to make a weight-loss potion and-"

"Shut up a sec, Moony, Hest is about to jump!" said Alice, craning her neck for a better view.

"Jump where?" asked Remus, but at that moment, Hestia steeled herself, jumped as high as she could and threw her arms around Hagrid's neck.

"What are yeh doin'?" asked Hagrid, turning around. Hestia gasped and tried to use her legs as leverage, attempting to pull herself up higher. After a couple of seconds, she managed to get herself into a piggyback position.

The moment she achieved that, she dropped down, and tried to straighten her robes.

"Hestia?" asked Hagrid, surprised.

"Er, hi Hagrid!"

"What were yeh doin'?" Hagrid repeated.

"I was, er, just, well, you see, I, er, lost my balance when I was walking and-"

"Tripped, did yeh?"

"Yeah, that's right," said Hestia lamely.

"Well, watch where yer walking next time, all righ'?"

"Okay."

"See yeh later then, Hestia."

"Bye Hagrid."

"Not as dramatic as you'd thought it would be, then?" Sirius asked as Lily pouted.

"It's not that bad," said Alice, "All those second years were watching, look!"

And true enough; the group of second years that were waiting outside of a classroom had begun to mutter among themselves, casting furtive looks at Hestia as she walked back to Sirius. Of course, these mutters only escalated when Hestia winked at the pimply one in the middle, her hips swaying as she walked past.

Nothing else interesting happened on their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts unless you count Hestia's decision that it was easier to walk through the crowded corridors with her eyes shut and let Alice guide her than attempt to flirt with every ugly guy she saw. Of course, as Alice was pretending to be a fifteen-year-old James Potter, this meant that by the time they reached the class room, Hestia's nose was very sore from it's numerous encounters with the wall, and she'd managed to get blue slime on her shoes after walking into a fourth year holding a cauldron full of Merlin knows what.

Once in the class, however, she only had to smile, wave, wink, and pout at the five Ravenclaw guys in the room, and then she was free to write.

_Remus, T or D? –H_

_Hestia… -R_

_No, I said T or D, as nice as my name is it wasn't an option for you to pick. –H_

_Fine… D. But f it is another underwear one… -R_

Poor Remus. Even now, the other people in the class were looking at him and smirking. Mind you, not quite as much as they were looking at Alice in confusion – Alice was once again lounging in a chair next to Sirius, casting hopeful glances at Lily and her hands jumping to her hair frequently. All in all, it was a rather strange image.

This time, however, James did not try to sit next to Sirius. No need to make the rumors even worse than they were…

_Remus, would I do that to you? –H_

_Yes. –R_

_Good point. But I won't. –H_

_Good. –R_

_Speak in rhyming couplets until lunch. –H_

_WHAT? –S_

_I would have expected that from Remus, not you, Padfoot. –L_

_But Flower…. Hest isn't making him suffer enough! Go at least until dinner! –S  
><em>

_I was under the impression that we would all be rather irritated with him by then. –H_

_Fair enough. –S_

_I have a question. –R_

_I'm sure you do, Remus, but Hest can't answer it until you ask. –A_

_Do I have to write in couplets as well? Or just speak? –R_

_Wow, Moony is asking questions and not looking for loopholes? What is this? Hell must have frozen over! –J_

_Wait… if hell has frozen over… Hey Evans, you have to go out with me! Yes! –A  
><em>

_... –L_

_Alice, I vaguely remember her also saying 'not in a million years…' –J_

_Yeah, but she said that to _you_. Not me. –A_

_The 'only when hell freezes over' comment was also directed at me… which means hell has been frozen over for a while now. –J_

_Damn. Evans, go out with me anyway? You don't need an excuse you know, I'll go out with you whenever you want. –A_

_Well, I don't want to right now. –L_

_Damn. –A_

_Moony, your go. –P_

_Thank you, Peter, you took the words out of my mouth! –F_

_Ewwww… -S  
><em>

_Figure of speech, Pads. –A_

_I know. –S_

_Sure you did. –A_

_MOONY! –P_

_Sirius Black, chose truth or dare; whichever you pick, you'll get a scare. –R  
><em>

_Come on Moony, surely you can do better than that! –J_

_You think you're such a cool guy; How about you give it a try? –R  
><em>

_Oh, burn! –A  
><em>

_You know Hest, you were definitely right to only make one last 'till lunch. –S_

_I am right most of the time. –H_

_Sirius, answer the question… -F_

_You know, I am surprised that this game moves forward at all. –L_

_Me too. –F_

_Why do I need to answer? You all know I'm going to say dare. –S  
><em>

_Good point. –F_

_And the dare is… (Moony, that's your cue) –A_

_That is soo not like me… -J_

_James, you're in denial. –A_

_If I can't speak then neither shall you; you'll sing in opera 'till you've a potion to brew. –R_

_Er… what? –S_

_I'm fairly certain he means that every time you talk you have to sing in opera until we have potions… -F  
><em>

_But Remus, don't you remember Rule 14? You can dare some-one speaking normally. –L_

_Oh, right. Frank, you got it right; I dare Sirius to speak in nothing but opera until he makes a potion in potions class. –R_

_So if we're just doing theory today… -L_

_Exactly. –R_

_Oh, that is so unfair. I've already had a speaking one! –S  
><em>

_What is it with the speaking ones, anyway? That is the 4__th__ one! –L_

_They're just fun to watch. –J_

_I suppose… but really, do you want to listen to Sirius sing all day? –L_

_Oh my Merlin, drat, drat, drat; I honestly did not think of that! –R_

_That is obvious. –F  
><em>

_And that is also not the most imaginative couplets... –A_

_I know what to dare you next. –F_

_Lily, T or D. –S  
><em>

_That is so unfair! Dare James, he hasn't gone in ages! –L_

_So much for not complaining, huh! –S_

_Shut up. And D. –L_

_Yes! Revenge, sweet revenge! I have been looking forward to this all day! –S_

_Er, Sirius, we're in our second class. -F_

_No… We haven't even started our second class! –A_

_Whatever. I've been looking forward to it since breakfast. –S_

_Which, in Sirius time, was a very long time ago. –A  
><em>

_Okay fine, I'll give you that one. –J_

_Yes! –bows- -A_

_And that one. –L_

_Lily! –J_

_James! –L_

_Lily! -J_

_Oh, not this again! –P_

_I quite agree. Sirius, spit the dare out. –F_

_Fine… Lily Evans, I dare you to go up to Severus Snape and… -S  
><em>

_Man, he's not even finished and already I hate the idea! –J_

_Hear, hear! –A_

_And I would never say that. –J_

_*cough* last week *cough* -S_

_Hey, that was a serious situation! –J_

_Yes, a very Sirius situation indeed. –A_

_Just because Sirius decided to hex all the Slytherins into yelling that they forfeited the Quidditch cup and that Gryffindor was the best did not mean that you had to stand on the table and… ugh, please do not make me finish that sentence. –L_

_Then why did you start it, Flower? –S_

_Just get on with it, Padfoot. I want this over and done with. –L_

_Fine. I dare you to go up to Severus Snape – in front of everyone, preferably at break - and beg his forgiveness. Be really nice to him and stuff, and then ask him on a date. If he says 'yes', say 'just kidding' and walk away. If he says 'really', say no and walk away. If he says 'why' tell him that you're trying to make James jealous (then if he answers yes or no give the appropriate answer), If he says 'no', grovel, and on the third time yell that he wasn't good enough for you anyway and leave. After walking away (for every answer except no, where you will cry into James' shoulder) snog James right in front of him. –S_

_Sirius Black, that is cold. –L_

_Real cold. –H_

_Extremely cold! -L_

_Freezing. –H_

_Below zero. –L_

_Arctic! –H_

_Antarctic! –L_

_Er… Antarctic in the winter! –H_

_Antarctic in the winter during a blizzard! –L_

_Antarctic in the winter during a _really cold_ blizzard! –H_

_Okay, okay, I think he gets it! –F_

_What is that about, anyway? –P_

_Oh, normally Ali would help, but as she's being you… -H_

_But really Sirius, I thought you were better than that. –L_

_Scared? –S_

_No. –L_

_Then why the Antarctica-ness? –S_

_Because that's hard on Snape. –L_

All of a sudden, Alice and James began to yell at the same time.

"SIRIUS BLACK, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?" screamed Alice.

"JOKING AROUND WITH SNAPE? WHAT IF HE CURSES HER AS SHE WALKS AWAY? OR WHAT OF HE…" yelled James.

"…ASKING OUT THAT SNAKE? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY EVEN THINK… OH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T…"

"…END UP IN THE HOSPITAL WING…"

"…YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST MATE! AND HERE YOU ARE..."

"…POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST…"

"…LAST CHANCE…"

"…YOU ARE SO GOING TO GET IT!"

_These two here we did miss; I expected an explosion way before this. –R_

_I don't know about the 'miss' part… -L_

_I know… I was kind of enjoying the moments they were in shock. –S_

_Alice sure has James down to a tee. They started to yell at exactly the same moment. –F_

_You have to give her extra credit for that. –H_

The whole class was now staring at Alice and James incredulously, but luckily, due to the fact that they were both yelling at the same time, the class didn't hear much.

"Idiots," muttered Lily.

_I was not being an idiot! What if he hexes you when your back is turned? –J_

_What if he thinks you like him, and then he asks you out again later? –A_

_And we see the changes James has made since fifth year… -H_

_What? He's always cared about her safety! –P_

_And if he calls you a You-Know-What I might not be able to restrain myself… -J_

_Just so long as I can hex him afterwards, I guess it shouldn't be too bad… -A_

_Yeah, I know that Pete… but it didn't seem like it back then, and Alice is acting how James acted around us – seeing as she is around us at the moment. –L_

_Please? –J_

_But… fine. But you'll pay. Big time. –A_

_Lily are you going to dare some one now, or will you wait 'till you've taken your bow? –R_

_And that meant… -S  
><em>

_Will I dare some one now or later… do I have a choice? –L_

_Do it after your dare is completed. –J_

_Okay, thanks James. –L_

_You know, you could really display your gratitude by going with me on a date. –A_

_I was going to say no problem, but whatever works, right? –J_

"Ah, already working hard I see… good, good…"

The Gryffindors had been so absorbed in their game that they hadn't noticed Professor Buckleberry, their defense teacher for that year, walk in.

Professor Buckleberry was everyone's favorite teacher, hands down.

Tall and skinny with wispy white hair and pale green eyes, and looked like one good blast of wind would blow him away. He didn't really care what students did in his class, or whether they did their homework – his philosophy was that if the students didn't want to work, that was fine by him: just so long as they didn't complain when they failed.

None of this was any issue at all however – at least, not with the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs – because his lessons were always interesting. He became animated when he taught - (almost as if there was something in the subject that was similar to a cheering charm), used brilliant examples that could make even the most boring topic amusing and made sure that every body that had been listening understood before he moved on – if you weren't paying attention, then too bad.

Some of the other teachers scorned his methods – especially his policy on homework and paying attention – but really, it was great. The kids didn't have to pay attention when he was explaining something that they already knew, and learnt heaps when he was explaining something they didn't.

However, his appearance did present one hurdle…

"Oh, hello professor! Sooooo sorry, I didn't recognize you when you walked in… you're looking good toady!"

"So cheesy," muttered Alice. "Even _Padfoot_ could do better than that!"

"Hey!"

"Er, thank you, Miss Jones," said Buckleberry, giving Hest a strange look. Then he turned his attention back to the class. "So, today we are going to be learning about inferi. Now, does anyone know what and inferius is?"

Of course, the Ravenclaw's hands all shot into the air. Normally, they would be followed by Lily's hand, but not today. She was too busy laughing at Remus, who had raised his hand, only realizing his mistake a second too late.

"Mr. Lupin?"

"A dead body reanimated by a dark wizards hands; they act like puppets and follow his commands."

"Basically," said Buckleberry, grinning at Remus' attempt to 'make the class more interesting', "But could some-one please tell me in a bit more detail?"

Again, the Ravenclaws threw up their hands, but Buckleberry asked Sirius… after all, this was a really dark topic, and some-one needed to make it more interesting.

Ravenclaw had always been Buckleberry's least favorite house. They made learning so… boring.

However, asking Sirius was the wrong idea – even for the most eccentric teacher in the school.

When the Professor turned to him, Sirius stood up, cleared his throat and began to sing.

"An infeeeeeriiiiiiius is a dead bodieeeeeeee, which has beeeeeen enchaaaaanted by a daaaaark wizaaaaaaard…"

Hestia groaned, and Lily reached across to whisper in her ear. Hestia nodded.

"…it comes baaaaack to life like a zombieeeeeeee…"

"This is horrible…" groaned Teresa Belby. "I mean, it doesn't even sound like opera!"

"You think this is meant to be opera?" asked Thomas Davies, "sounds more like something you'd hear at a funeral to me."

"Yeah, well, this is the guy that kissed his best mate at breakfast…"

"True that."

"…but it has no freeeee-eee-eee-eee will!"

_I propose a rule change. Rule 17: the darer may change the ending time of the dare if they have a majority vote (and I mean more than 50%) but they can only make it shorter – not longer. –L_

_I agree, I soooo agree! AYE all the way! -H_

"Which baaaaaasicallyyyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeans it aaaaaacts like a puppet! "

"Sirius, you can stop now!" said Buckleberry.

But he just kept going.

"They aaaaaaaaare veryyyyyyyy dangerous…"

_I like your thinking, you two. Aye. –P_

_Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye, AYE! Quick, before my eardrums burst! –A_

_Aye, all the way. He sounds a bit like a banshee, doesn't he. I mean, even more so than he did when he was trying to sing that Australian song the other day. –J_

_Definite Aye from me. –F  
><em>

_Of course I say Aye, I don't want to die. –R_

"…but aaaaaaaare eeeeeeeeasy to repel!"

_Great, now we just need an aye from the Banshee himself. –H_

_That's not too hard… We already have a majority. Can he just not vote? –L_

_If we wait another fifteen minutes. –J_

"…They haaaaaate heeeeeeat and liiiiiiiiiiight and dryness! So light a fiiiiiire!"

_I can not last that long. –H_

_Don't worry, I think he's done… for now. –J_

_Lets hope so. I can't take any more! -L_

Ten seconds later and Sirius had done what many believed to be impossible – he received a detention in Professor Buckleberry's class. Even when Avery flat out refused to do his homework and screamed at Buckleberry three weeks before he only lost twenty points.

Feeling a little annoyed, Buckleberry got the Ravenclaws to the front of the class and began to act out an inferius attack. Usually he would use the Marauders, but he had an urge to stay away from them…

_Good, you're done. Sirius, say Aye. –L_

_Why? –S_

_Just do it, and then maybe I'll give you some food or something… -L_

_Okay. Aye. –S_

_YES! Good going, Lils! –J_

_Why, thank you James. –L_

_Lily, you get more and more intelligent and beautiful everyday. Go out with me? –A  
><em>

_What was that? –S_

_Sirius, I am editing your dare. It ends in two minutes! –H_

"Whaaaaat?" sang Sirius in a high pitched noise. "Noooooooooo!"

"Sirius Black! I tolerate much more in my class than any other teachers would, but when you start to disturb the others you will leave me no choice!"

"Sooooorry Professooooooor!"

"I am going to kill you, Hestia Jones," muttered Lily, rubbing her temples. "You could have said ten seconds, or better yet, two seconds?"

"I was hoping that if he realizes he only has two minutes left of his dare he might do something stupid and embarrassing."

"I never thought I would say this, but I would rather keep my hearing than see Sirius make a fool of himself. He manages that quite well on his own, anyway."

"Right…"

The next two minutes passed by painfully. Sirius tried to make the best of his dare, and Buckleberry gave him another detention. It was clear that while he didn't mind it if people didn't pay attention, he did not like it when they disrupted those that actually wanted to work.

"Well, that was interesting," said James as they walked out of the class.

"Never again," said Hestia shuddering.

"Hey Flower, guess what?" asked Sirius, bouncing up to Lily, seemingly unaware of the strange looks he was still getting from the other students, and the way they muttered whenever they thought he wasn't looking.

"What?" asked Lily wearily.

"It's break! You know what that means…"

"Oh Merlin," she muttered, closing her eyes in horror. Her life was about to end. It was even worse than what she had made Sirius do at breakfast…

Well, maybe not. But at least Sirius wouldn't have an angry Slytherin trying to hex him when his back was turned.

"Now James," said Sirius as he dragged Lily out into the courtyard. "You need to stay close, where Snape will be able to see you so Flower can snog you afterwards."

"I don't like this Sirius," hissed Alice, and none of the others were sure if she was still acting as James or whether she was being herself.

"Neither do I," said James.

"Too bad. She made me kiss my best mate in front of the entire school, so now it is her turn to be embarrassed. Everyone else, follow me."

He gave Lily a slight shove towards where the Slytherins were grouped, and then turned and headed in the opposite direction.

Peter followed immediately, but the other three paused and looked at Lily sympathetically.

"Lily…" started Alice.

"No, Alice. I can do this… I know Sirius will only think up something worse if I choose chicken.

"But surely there has to be-"

"Hestia, I'm fine. Really." Lily stared at Hestia intently, then turned to Remus. "Fine," she repeated slowly.

Then, after glancing at James, who was glaring after his best mate, they all followed Sirius.

They weren't standing too far off – close enough that they could see what Lily was doing and that they could hear what was to be said, but far away enough that Snape wouldn't notice them watching.

"Lily, please, pick a chicken," moaned James.

"You know this is fake right? You know that I'm still going to go out with you when this is done?" asked Lily skeptically.

"Obviously," snorted James. "But that's not what I'm worried about. What if one of them hexes you?"

"Don't you remember what Sirius said?"

"I kind of blanked out after the 'ask Snape out' bit, and when I got back to my senses I heard the 'walk away' bit, so… no, not really."

"If they hex me, you can cast a shield charm over me."

"And if I am not quick enough?"

"James. How many times have beaten this lot in what you call a 'duel'."

"Okay, okay, I see your point."

"Good. Now, I better get this over with before Sirius murders me."

James sighed as he watched the girl he loved walk towards the people he hated the most… well, aside from Voldemort himself and the Death Eaters, but these idiots were practically Death Eaters anyway.

Lily stood behind where Snape was talking to Rosier and cleared her throat, making an attempt to look small and unprotected.

"Severus, look, it's a Mudblood! What shall we do with it?" asked Rosier.

Snape Merely scowled.

"Um, can I…" muttered Lily, still playing the part of a nervous little girl.

"What do you want?" asked Rosier, is demanour changing the moment Lily started to speak. "Why is a filthy little Mudblood talking to us?"

James could hear every word that was spoken, and he was shaking with rage. He hoped Lily would end this sooner rather than later, so he could hex those insolent little-

"I was… was hoping I could talk to you alone," said Lily, ignoring Rosier and looking at Snape.

"Why?" spat Snape. "Why should I listen to you?"

"Please!" wailed Lily, wishing she was like Hestia and had the ability to cry at will.

"He doesn't want to talk to scum like you, do you Severus?" sneered Rosier.

"Just let me put this filth in it's place," said Snape. He didn't want Lily to get hurt. She had rejected him for the past year and a half, yes, but she was still… Lily. He couldn't really blame her for hating him. He understood that what he had done was unforgivable.

"Fine!" said Rosier, and then he walked a couple of meters away to talk to Avery.

"What do you want, Lily?" asked Severus, rubbing his face.

"Sna… Sev," said Lily, thinking it best to revert back to his old nickname if she wanted to do this right.

"What do you want?" Snape asked again, but his tone had softened upon hearing his nickname.

"I'm sorry," cried Lily, the tears she had wished for finally making an appearance. "I'm so sorry for being mean to you all this time… I want to say… I forgive you."

Snape was taken aback. He felt a surge of joy whoosh through him, but there was also a surge of fear.

"Lily, er, can we not do this here? I mean, if the others-"

"Oh, of course, if your 'friends' saw you with a little Mudblood-"

James winced.

"Don't call yourself that!" hissed Snape.

"Oh, so you're the only one that is allowed to call me that?"

Now Sirius was the one that was wincing. He hadn't been able to hear the entire conversation, as they had been speaking quietly, but Lily's voice was rising. He was afraid that her temper could blow the dare, and he really did want to get Lily back… although he knew it was mean. However, this dare had been perfect: he could get at Lily and Snape at the same time.

Luckily, Snape spoke a little quieter, and Lily managed to get her temper under control.

"I didn't… I didn't mean it that day. I was angry at Potter and-"

"Don't," said Lily. "Please don't. I know Potter is an idiot-"

"Potter? He's Potter again now, is he?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Oookay. Is that all you wanted Lily?"

"No!"

"Then, what else?"

"Sev, I was… wondering if… maybe… this weekend there's a Hogsmeade weekend and I was wondering… maybe…"

"Just spit it out, Lily."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?"

Snape was stunned.

A few seconds later, he shook his head and looked at Lily.

"Er… But, Lily, you're going out with James Potter."

"And?"

"He'll murder me!"

_Well, at he least he isn't saying no,_ thought Lily. As much as she didn't want to hurt him even more – despite what he'd done to her – she didn't really feel like groveling.

"No, he won't! He knows how much you mean to me and so-"

"You're a Gryffindor!" said Snape, grasping at straws. He really did want to say yes, but was afraid of what the rest of his house would say. "And I'm a Slytherin!"

"Don't start, please," said Lily, a fresh wave of tears appearing on her face. She didn't even have to try this time; the memory of what Snape had said to her that day by the lake was enough.

"Lily, I didn't mean-"

"Severus Snape," said Lily, "Sev, will you please go out with me."

"Er…" Snape didn't know what to say. This could be his last chance, but… he needed to know… "Why, Lily?"

"Why?"

"Yes, Why."

"Because… I'm asking you?"

"No-"

"No? But Sev-"

"No! Stop, and listen!"

"Sorry."

"What I meant was, why are you asking me?"

"Because… because…" Lily was dying on the inside as she tried to come up with something else to say. But this was a part of Sirius' dare… "Ja… Potter and I are going through a bit of a rough patch and-"

"Oh, I see. I'm your fallback, am I?"

"No! Definitely not!"

"Then why are you asking me when you are _Potter-_" Snape spat out the name "-are going through a _rough patch_."

"Because I want to make him jealous!" cried Lily.

"WHAT?"

"Sev, please-"

"No, Lily, I will _not_ go out with you. You have clearly been spending way to much time with those-"

"Please, Sev, please!"

"What's going on here?" Rosier had returned, and he had dragged Avery with him. By now, Lily had fallen to her knees, and as she looked up at the three Slytherins, she felt a spark of fear inside her for the first time that day.

But it was okay… James was only a couple of meters away…

"Sev…" she whispered. She only had to get two more 'no's out of him.

"Lily, go away!"

"Lily? _Lily_? And _Sev_? Not only are you on first name terms with this filth, but she has a little nickname for you! Going a little soft, are you Severus?"

"Leave it!" snarled Snape.

"Oooh, feisty, feisty-"

"Sev," whimpered Lily. "Please, I'm begging you-"

"No! Leave me alone Lily!"

_Two down, one to go_.

By now, most of the students that had been in the courtyard had turned to watch. Some of them were starting to get suspicions. It had been a strange day, you see… first, Remus Lupin had turned up at Breakfast with his underwear on the outside. Then, Frank Longbottom had started to eat breakfast with the teachers. Then Sirius Black kissed James Potter in front of the entire school. Word had gotten around that Hestia Jones had jumped on Hagrid's back, and several students had heard about Sirius singing opera in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Not to mention that miniature war in History of Magic between almost all the Gryffindors after Alice Prewett had stolen James Potters snitch. And it wasn't every day that you saw the head girl begging her boyfriend's nemesis to take her to Hogsmeade. Something strange was going on with the Seventh year Gryffindors, and several of the students had an idea of what it was… They were showing the classic symptoms…

"What is she asking you Severus?" asked Avery.

"Begging, more like," snickered Rosier.

"Please, Sev, please!"

"Go away!" Snape started to stalk back through the crowd. Lily scrambled to her feet and ran after him. Afraid that he would be too far away, James followed. This did not escape the attention of the audience… and the rumor mill began to turn.

"No! Please, Severus Snape, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me!"

"What?" Snape was caught completely off guard.

"Tell me."

"Lily," groaned Snape. He glanced over at Avery and Rosier who were still snickering back where he was before. "Listen."

Lily, along with James and the rest of them, froze as Snape leaned in. But he was only whispering in her ear.

"I would have said yes, but I can't if your only doing to get back at James Potter-"

"Sev, please!"

"Maybe if I thought you actually liked me-"

"I do, I do! Why do you think I asked you, instead of some-one else?"

"Maybe because Potter hates me?"

"Trust me," muttered Lily, "If that was my only motive, I would have gone out with Sirius. That would have hit him harder, because we could have been in the same common room and-"

"Black? You would have gone out with Black? But he's gay, isn't he?"

Lily had to work to not laugh and ruin the whole thing.

"Well, yeah, he has a crush on James, which is the main reason why-"

"Oh, okay."

Lily groaned. Snape was not angry any more… and she still needed another no.

"Sev," she said, "I will ask you one more time. Please will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Once again, Snape was torn.

_This is Lily Evans._

_Exactly. She's a Mud… Muggleborn and a Gryffindor._

_But it's Lily!_

_Who is going out with James Potter!  
><em>

_One more reason to go out with her. She wants you, not him!_

_She only wants to make him jealous… if you go out with her, it will only make Potter want to take her back…_

That decided it for him.

"Lily… I can't. Not to make Potter jealous. My answer is no, and that's final."

Snape stared as Lily jumped up, wailing, turned around and ran straight into the waiting arms of James Potter.

_What the hell?_

_Told you so._

"Of course," muttered Snape, remembering everything had been happening the past few days. "She's just…"

"Good job, Snape!" yelled Rosier, giving him a thumbs up.

He heard laughing coming from the other side of the courtyard, and turned to see Black, Lupin and the other Gryffindors all laughing their heads off.

"Did you see his face?" he heard Black gasp.

That was it. The final straw. Snape pulled out his wand and pointed it at Black.

He felt, rather than saw, Rosier and Avery walk up on either side of him and do the same.

"Bloody Marauders," muttered Avery. "What was going on there, anyway, Snape?"

Snape opened his mouth to reply, but found himself hoisted into the air by his ankle. Turning his head, he saw James Potter – one arm still around Lily – pointing his wand at him.

"Don't you dare curse my best mate," snarled Potter.

"Best mate? From what we saw this morning it was a little more than that!" yelled Rosier.

Roiser's wand flew out of his grasp, but James hadn't muttered a word. This was courtesy of Sirius.

"Stop!" yelled Lily, but it didn't do much. Snape cast the counter curse (_Liberacorpus!_) and summoned back Rosier's wand, and then sent a toenail growing curse at Black.

"Oh no," muttered Lily, ducking out from James' arm. "Here we go again."

* * *

><p><strong>When I was rereading it I noticed that I didn't do Hagrid very well. I hope it isn't to bad though.<strong>

**Okay, I hope I don't miss anyone:**

**- Hestia's dare of climbing on Hagrid's back was _sailing silk_'s idea.**

**- Sirius' dare of singing everything in opera belongs to _Ginny_Weasley23 _(Apologies for cutting it short, but as Sirius did survive to meet Harry...)_  
><em>**

**- Remus' dare of speaking in Rhyming couplets was from _Louise Foxhall_.**

**- I incorporated the ideas of _PeachyKeen13_ and _epickerthanyou_ to get Lily's dare of asking Snape out... (Sorry guys, I would have done it separately but repeating the same thing over and over gets boring. I think it does, anyway. Tell me if you want another Lily/Snape dare, guys!)**


	9. A Fight and a Switch

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! I know I made you wait _forever_, it's just schools a bit hectic right now. To make up for it, I tried to write a long chapter. I hope it is satisfactory, though there isn't really one big dare in here like there has been in previous ones. **

**By the way, thank you so much for the reviews! And I have been inundated with suggestions! It's amazing! I am using as many of them as I can... once again, don't worry if I haven't used yours yet; I have this Word document full of suggestions that I go through and pick from as I type.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or these amazing dares! It's kinda sad actually... once upon a time I thought I had an imagination... :P  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

TUESDAY MIDDAY: A Fight and a Switch

It was carnage.

A battle ground.

A war zone.

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration.

But it was pretty bad.

There were spells flying everywhere; most of the students that had been in the courtyard had taken refuge either inside the castle or out on the grounds. Others that wanted to stay and watch stood on the sidelines, hiding behind shield charms cast by the older students.

However, that all went out of the window when one of the shield charms failed and a sixth year Slytherin got hit in the face. He then turned around and began shooting spells at the nearest Gryffindor, who retaliated with the help of his friends. A Ravenclaw has hit by accident, but she thought it was a Hufflepuff who shot the jinx while her back was turned…

Needless to say the whole thing had gotten out of hand rather quickly.

In the middle of all the fighting was the most intense duel of the lot; the one that had started the entire thing. James Potter and Sirius Black were standing back to back, yelling at each other when they needed to duck and shooting curses left right and center. Dancing around them were the three Slytherins, dodging, ducking and blocking all the spells being fired in their direction.

Hestia Jones, Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom were all standing off to the side a bit, throwing curses at the Slytherins in an effort to help James and Sirius out; not that they needed it.

But the strangest part of the whole scene would have to be Remus Lupin and Lily Evans, standing side by side, yelling at the entire courtyard to stop fighting and leave each other alone.

Not that it did anything, but you had to give them credit for trying.

Somehow, the two of them weren't getting hit at all. It was probably because everyone was too focused on stopping the people that were actually firing spells to waste their time and energy on people were doing nothing more than yelling.

"STOP MOVING THIS INSTANT!"

Nobody stopped moving at the sound of McGonagall's voice; something that had surely not happened before. But all the students knew that if they stopped fighting they would be at the mercy of the others…

"IMMOBULUS!" yelled McGonagall. Everybody froze, some with their mouths wide open in mid jinx. "Everyone who was involved in this fight is to head to the Great Hall now! And don't try to sneak away, because I know who you all are!"

McGonagall release the students from the spell – now satisfied that they would not resume fighting – and they all began walking back to the Great Hall.

Well, most of them did, anyway.

"Professor, it wasn't our fault, honest! The Slytherins started it!"

"Give me one good reason why I should believe you, Black."

"Because it is true!"

"I do not want to hear another word out of your mouth, Black, or you will loose even more points than you already have! Now go to the Great Hall! No, Mr Merryfeather, I do not _care_ if your ears have started sprouting tentacles, it is your own fault for trying to duel with Miss Green, who is older and much more accomplished than you! Now move along!"

"Professor, Remus and I technically weren't dueling, so don't you think-"

"Miss Evans, If you were involved in any way, you can expect to be punished appropri-"

"But professor, we were trying to stop them before it got out of hand, I thought that that wasn't ban-"

"Mr. Lupin!"

"And Remus already has a detention tonight anyway-"

"Oh Merlin, I'd forgotten about that, I might just have to-"

"That does not change the fact that-"

"Professor, they are telling the truth, Moony and Flower-"

"Black, I thought I told you to go to the-"

"Professor, I really don't think-"

"Do not interrupt me, Sirius Black!"

"Well, Lily and Remus were able to get away with it, so I thought-"

"That is it! Anyone who is still standing here in five seconds will be getting detention for a month, regardless of whether or not they were involved!"

After that, _all_ the students ran into the Great Hall without complaint. There were about fifty of them, and they were all grouped together to the left of the doors. They were an odd looking bunch; several had brightly colored hair, some could not talk due to their tongue being attached to the top of their mouths, some could not stop laughing, there were a couple trying to stop the torrent of blood that was flowing out of their noses, while most of them were clutching parts of their body in pain…

And the list goes on.

McGonagall managed to rectify the situation with a spell (_'Finite Incantatem_') but most of the students would have to visit the Hospital wing. Not until they had realized the seriousness of their actions, of course.

"You have all broken several school rules," started Professor McGonagall, "And so you will all be punished accordingly. Twenty house points will be taken from each of the participants-" at this there were several cried in protest, but one look from McGonagall silenced them all. She was beyond furious. "And each of you shall serve a week of detentions. Because there are so many of you, I will have to stagger them; you will receive a note so you know when to do your detentions. I expect all of you to now go to class or to the hospital wing, and be warned; if any of you are involved in something of this magnitude again, you will be on the train before you can say 'unfair'. Is that understood?"

The was a lot of mumbling and nodding, although the Slytherin students were a little put out. Didn't the head of house usually hand out the punishments? But not even the Slytherins were stupid enough to provoke McGonagall while she was in such a state. None of the students were.

"But Professor, we told you, Lily and Moony were technically not involved' in the fight, so shouldn't they keep their points?"

Well, almost none of them. Sirius was, as usual, an exception – although he would have used the word 'brave' rather than the word 'stupid'.

Amazingly, the corner of McGonagall's mouth twitched, and all she said was;

"Right you are, Mr. Black. Now will you please get to your class?"

Then she strode out of the hall.

"James, your glasses are askew. And Sirius; did she just agree with you?" asked Remus.

"She did," said Alice, her bright blue hair making her look even more dumbstruck.

"You got us out of detention," said Lily slowly, as if she didn't quite believe it. Which, to be perfectly honest, she didn't.

"And McGonagall almost smiled at you," said Hestia, using the same tone as Lily.

"Guys, you are sooo missing the best part here," whined Sirius.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" asked James.

"She called me _Mr._ Black. She never does that! I'm always just Black – or, when she's _really_ angry, Sirius Black – but she just called me _Mr._ Black! I knew she loved me, deep down."

"I think he's gone mental," muttered Alice.

"Gone Mental?" asked Lily incredulously. "To say that some-one has _gone_ mental would imply that there was a point in time when that person was perfectly sane, and to be honest, I think that Sirius has been mentally incapacitated ever since he was born."

"Please don't use so many long words," groaned James, rubbing his forehead. "I'm starting to get a headache."

"Not to mention," said Frank, ignoring James along with everybody else, "That I distinctly remember McGonagall calling Sirius '_Mr._ Black' yesterday morning."

* * *

><p><em>Peter, Truth or Dare? –L<em>

_Peter, know that if you say dare, I will disown you from the group. –S_

_Sirius, that isn't fair! –H_

_Life isn't fair, Hest, or did no-one tell you? PETER, PICK DARE! –S_

_Okay, fine. Dare. –P_

_YES! –S_

_Peter, you don't have to pick dare just because Sirius tells you to. –F_

_Too late now, he's written it down. –J_

_I Guess I'll just give you an easy one, then, Peter…-L_

_NO, MY DEAR FLOWER, YOU CAN'T BETRAY ME LIKE THAT! TELL ME IT ISN'T SO! –S_

_Cool it with the capital letters, would you? –A  
><em>

_Sorry, Prongsie-poo. –S_

_Hey, I'm Prongs! –J_

_I know. But you hate being called Prongsie-poo, and as Alice is being you I just want to see what she'll do… -S_

_What? Oh, right- PADFOOT! Do not call me that! If you call me _that_ name one more time, you will not be eating for a week! Remember the game we are playing? –A_

_Well, it was a bit delayed, but it was pretty accurate. –S_

Anyway_, back to Peter's dare… -J_

_Oh yes, sorry. Peter, I dare you to make up a love song for Alecto Carrow and sing it – with a matching dance routine – on top of the Gryffindor table at lunch time. –L_

_Oh, that is just cruel. –H_

_Alecto? Seriously? –A  
><em>

_Yeah, you could do so much better than that. Why not Snape? –J_

_That wasn't what I meant, but it works as well as anything, I suppose… seeing as I am supposed to imitating a big buffoon. –A_

_Don't stop now, you were doing so good! –S_

_Oi! –J_

_But Lily, I can't write a love song for Alecto Carrow! –P_

_Why not? Her brother is not at school any more, he left last year. So what are you worrying about? –S_

_She is just as bad as her brother… not to mention all of the other Slytherins! –P_

_They won't hurt you, Peter. They'll probably just laugh. –H_

_Just do it, Pete. –J_

_Fine. –P_

_Okay then Wormtail, who are you going to ask? –A_

_Um… James, Truth or Dare? –P_

_Dare. –J_

_Waltz with Lily to Transfiguration. –P_

_That's easy! –J_

_Off you go then. –F_

The head boy and Girl received several strange looks as they danced their way to class, twirling between the bewildered students. McGonagall was still fuming when they sat down, so they all pulled out a quill and parchment immediately.

Not, however, the parchment McGonagall thought they had pulled out. She was a bit confused to see all the Marauders working so hard at once, but figured they were probably trying to get on her good side.

But they weren't writing Transfiguration notes…

_Frank, T or D? –J_

_D. –F_

_Give Peter a standing ovation after his song-and-dance routine at lunch. –J_

_Sure. Remus, T or D? –F  
><em>

_I'll pick Dare – I'm not a scared little hare. –R_

_Normally you would say Rabbit, but whatever. –A_

_Switch names and personalities – basically everything but appearance and clothes - with Sirius for the rest of the day. –F_

_You have GOT to be kidding me! –R_

_-Cough-__ couplets __**–**__cough__**- **__ -J_

_Actually if, he swapping everything with Sirius, then shouldn't Sirius be the one composing couplets? –L_

_So true. –J_

_WHAT? –S_

_I think that is a brilliant dare. I applaud you, Frank. –H_

_Thank you, Hestia. –F_

_Hestia, truth or DARE? –R_

_Wait, wait, wait – don't tell me we now have an Alice acting like a James, a Sirius acting like a Remus and a Remus acting like a Sirius? –H_

_That is exactly right. Now, truth or dare? –R_

_Fine. Dare. –H_

_Leave the class for ten minutes, giving no explanation, and when you come back simply sit in your chair. When McGonagall asks what you were doing, say "none of your business!" –R_

_But she'll kill me! –H_

_Again with the complaining! –L_

_Oh, I know Hest. But you'll live. –R_

_Remus, that makes absolutely no sense at all! Commit such grammatical treason again and I'll throw you against the wall! –S_

_Nice try, Pads, but the last bit kind of ruined it. –A_

_Also, aren't you supposed to have swapped names, too? -F_

_I shall try much harder next time; to find a much more suitable rhyme. –S_

_Pathetic. –R_

_Yeah. The both of you. –J_

_Oi! –R_

_But back on topic… I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE! –H_

_No you're not. Too young to die is being a child… and as your seventeenth birthday was last week, you are officially an adult, and therefore you are not too young. –R_

_Sorry Remus – er, Sirius - but Sirius – the real Sirius - wouldn't say something that intellectual… even if it was completely ridiculous. –L_

_LILY FLOWER, I AM HURT! YOU HAVE WOUNDED ME! –R_

_Much better. –A_

_Enough with the ridicule; let's focus on my impending demise! –H_

_Of course, my dear Hestia, we must focus on your issue with your dare for a second... –R_

_Thank you Re- Sirius! –H_

_Second's up! Now off you go, Hest! –R_

_This is so unfair. –H_

_GO! –R_

Groaning, Hestia stood up and, without a glance at anyone else in the room, strode out of the door.

"Miss. Jones! What are you doing?" asked McGonagall. But Hestia was already gone. McGonagall told Remus to go after her – she would have sent Lily, but Lily seemed to be struggling with the spell they were practicing – as Remus was the most responsible.

Of course, she didn't know that he had swapped personalities with Sirius Black for the day.

So, you can imagine her surprise when Remus returned nine and a half minutes later, eating a custard tart.

Of course, Remus said he'd checked the kitchens for Hestia and the house elves gave him the tart and he didn't want to hurt their feelings. Then he said he couldn't find Hest.

McGonagall was about to send Lily after Hestia, despite her struggling with her work, when Hest walked back through the door.

"And what so urgent that you had to leave my class without explanation?" she asked.

Hestia ignored her and sat back down at her desk, before continuing practicing the spell they were working on.

"Five points from Gryffindor!" said McGonagall, "and it will be more if you don't explain yourself. What were you doing?"

"None of your business."

Needless to say Hestia got her self _another _detention. Luckily, however, McGonagall said it would have to wait for a while… after the fight in the courtyard, there was a bit of a build up of detentions.

_I. –H_

_Am. –H_

_Going. –H_

_To. –H_

_Kill. –H_

_You. –H_

_All. –H_

_Aww, Hest, I thought you loved us! –R_

_Yeah. Loved. As in, past tense version of the word 'love'. –H_

_Come on, Hest. It wasn't that bad! –L_

_It could have been a lot worse… you know Sirius… -J_

_Remus was the one that gave me the dare. -H_

_Yeah, but he's Padfoot at the moment. –A_

_Whatever. I will reap my revenge on the lot of you soon enough… Alice, Truth or Dare? –H_

_Dare, of course. –A_

_Righto, Alice… you must go with Frank into a broom closet and come out when a large group of people are walking past looking all scruffy. –H_

_Alright, This'll be fun! –A_

_Gah, I forgot you were being James! -H_

_Why do I have to do it? –F_

_Well, If you would rather I made Sirius – Remus - go into a broom closet with Alice… -H_

_You know what? I think I'll cope. -F_

_Yes, I thought you might. –H_

_Okay, we'll do that just when every one is leaving class. –A_

_Class is pretty much over anyway. –P_

_Yeah, I know, Wormtail. I just want to get it over and done with. –A_

_That wasn't very Pronsie-ish… -R_

_Leave me alone, _Padsie. _And didn't I tell you not to call me Prongsie? –A_

_Nope. You said not to call you Prongsie-_poo . _And anyway, that was my counterpart, the pretend Sirius Black, not me. There is only one Sirius Black… the world would not be able to handle two of me. –R_

_You have most certainly got that right; the earth's population would commit suicide overnight! –S_

_Well, I know I would… -L_

_Sirius, I congratulate you. –A_

_Why thank you... At least some-one appreciates my greatness! –R_

_About what, hot shot? –S_

_Oh my Merlin… I think I'm about to die. –H_

_I propose a Rule change… who's up for introducing the rule that all Sirius' Blacks – whether they are impersonating him, were born him, or were EVER him in ANY way are NOT ALLOWED TO TALK. –L_

_I agree. I so, so agree. –H_

_I don't think that is the best idea. –J_

_What? Why not? –L_

_1st: He'll talk anyway. –J_

_2nd: He'll rebel and start a riot. I'm not kidding. –J_

_3rd: If, by some amazing chance, he doesn't talk, he won't be able to dare anyone and will be forced to do a chicken, after which he will be so angry that his dares will be about a hundred times worse. –J_

_Okay, okay, we get it. No making up rules that stop Sirius – or Remus - from talking. –L_

_4th: He will most likely- oh, okay then. Yeah, It's not the best plan. –J_

_Oooh, Minnie just said we could go! –R_

_Well, all of us except Hestia. –P_

_Frank and Alice left the moment she opened her mouth… I think they're rushing to a broom closet so they can get there before the hoards. –J_

_I soooo want to watch this. –R_

_I'm not to keen… the closer it gets to then, the closer it gets to my dare… -P_

_Do you know what you're going to sing? –L_

_I don't think 'want' is the right word to use, Lils. –J_

_Oh, sorry. Peter, do you know what you are going to sing? –L_

_I think so. –P_

_Good. –L_

_Don't worry Wormy, we'll cast a shield charm around you in case the Slytherins get violent. –R_

_I don't think that's helping… -L_

_And, you know you'll have at least one supporter – Frank has been dared to applaud you after all. –R_

_Uh, Rem- Sirius… -L_

_Not to mention the fact that Minnie is angry today, so she'll probably give a detention before you start singing, let alone before the Slytherins have a chance to fire a curse at you. –R_

_SIRIUS! –L_

_But their aim is so bad anyway, you'd be more worried if they were aiming for the person next to you. Of course, if they all start firing at you there'd be a very good chance you could get hit, shield charm or no shield charm… -R_

_REMUS LUPIN! Or Sirius Black, whoever you are at this point in time! –L_

_Yes? Oh, but one more thing Peter… –R_

_Stop speaking! I think Peter is hyperventilating! –L_

* * *

><p>Once they had managed to get Peter calmed down – at least enough for him to walk without killing himself – Sirius, Remus, Lily, James and Peter all headed for the Great Hall, all having an idea of where Alice and Frank would be. Hestia didn't come; McGonagall was still talking sternly to her.<p>

Once the Gryffindors made it to one of the main corridors, they waited a little ways from a small door in the wall.

They didn't have to wait long.

With all of the classes being let out and most of the student body heading down to lunch at the same time, the corridor was rather crowded, and the students were packed together. So most people noticed when a door slammed open, taking up precious room in the corridor and causing several people to walk into it.

This means that all those people who noticed the door – and several others besides – noticed when two giggling people hopped out of the closet.

"Frank," giggled Alice, clutching his arm, "That was so much fun!"

Alice's hair was an absolute mess, and her shirt was incredibly wrinkled. The top few buttons weren't done up, so it hung of her shoulders on an angle. Her tie was around her neck, but it was not done up, and as they walked out, Frank was throwing her robe over her shoulder.

Frank looked slightly better in one way, but a whole lot worse in another. His hair wasn't as long as Alice's (obviously…) so it didn't look as messy, but it was incredibly rumpled. His shirt buttons were done up, but they were a bit skewed… he had put the buttons in one hole too low. His tie was also undone, but he had is robe on. It was open though, so everyone could see his shirt.

"Brilliant," grinned Remus.

"Uh oh, they're in trouble," said Sirius. Lily groaned and whacked her self on the forehead. "Shouldn't someone go and burst their bubble?"

"That doesn't make any sense," said Peter.

"Yes it does," said Remus. Then he raised his voice and yelled; "Oi! Alice, Frank, what were you doing in the broom closet all alone, huh?"

Alice and Frank's heads snapped up as if they were just noticing the crowd for the first time.

Remus' encouragement was all they needed to start up.

There were many jeers, and a round of 'Alice and Frank, sitting in a tree…' from a couple of first years who didn't even know them.

Of course, then there were the people who didn't care: people that Sirius – well, Remus today – would call boring party poopers and the people that Remus – Sirius – would call sensible. They just kept walking, pushing through the crowd so they could make it to lunch without missing their next class.

Lily thought that maybe she should put Alice and Frank out of their misery – this was bound to get around the school now, regardless of how long they stood outside that door.

"Come on now, move along," she called, going into Head Girl mode. "Lunch time will be over before you eat if you don't move now! Come on! Move!"

James, catching on to what she was doing, decided to help.

"Five points from the house of any person still standing here in the next twenty seconds!"

That cleared the corridor very effectively, as most people realized that after this morning, none of their houses could afford to lose another point.

"Lunch?" he asked, turning to his friends as Alice and Frank sprinted off to the nearest bathroom to fix themselves up.

"Lunch," said Lily.

"Oh thank Merlin," said Remus, dramatically throwing his arms up into the air. "I'm sooooo hungry!"

* * *

><p>Once they reached the great hall, Peter was once again full out hyperventilating.<p>

"Calm down, Peter," said Sirius, "It will be better once it's over."

"You know that didn't rhyme," commented James.

"Assonance, Assonance," said Sirius.

"That doesn't count as a couplet. And also, I didn't know you knew such big words…"

Sirius glanced at Lily pleadingly. Lily rolled her eyes.

"He's being Remus, James. For all we know, he might have been reading a dictionary under the table at breakfast."

"Remus probably eats the dictionary for breakfast," muttered Peter quietly.

Sirius stuck his tongue out at James.

"Now _that_ wasn't very Remus like."

"Oh, leave him alone," said Lily, hitting the back of James' head.

"Ouch, Evans, what was that for?" said Alice, sliding in between Lily and James. "But never mind. I knew you liked me better than him. Go out with me?"

"Um, Alice," said Frank, "You do realize that your dare ends right now, right?"

"Really?" asked Alice.

"No, Alice," said Remus. "He was joking. Hestia made your dare last until dinner, the same as hers."

"No she didn't," said Frank.

"Yes she did!"

"No, she didn't!"

"Stop, stop, stop!" said Lily. How about we look back over that parchment?"

It took them an awful long time, but when they searched the parchment, they found that Frank was right.

"What I don't understand," said Alice, looking at the long piece of parchment, "Is how it seems like there is only one small roll, yet when you roll it out, it is _very_ long.

"It's a different version of an undetectable extension charm," said James. "Have you never seen those old Greek or Roman guys that have scrolls that look tiny, and yet when they unroll they go all over the floor? Same thing."

Alice looked a little confused, but decided it was probably best to go back to eating her food.

"Oh, by the way Peter," said Remus, "Alecto Carrow is sitting just over there…"

"Remus, please!" gasped Peter.

"I don't have anything to do with it; So don't blame me, you annoying little gi-"

"You know I meant the other Remus! Er, Sirius!"

"Well, it was Lily that gave you the dare…" hinted Remus.

"Lily! Lily, please, I am begging you!"

"I can't change it, as per the rules," said Lily. "I can only change the time span."

Peter looked so sad that Remus felt sorry for him, but then he remembered that he was being Sirius, and despite the fact that Sirius loved his friends, he was absolutely ruthless in a game of truth or dare.

"What are the rules, anyway?" asked Frank.

"Look at your Rule sheet," said James, rolling his eyes.

"Well, yeah, but we've added more. How do you remember all of them?"

"The sheet updates itself," said James. "Look at yours now."

Curious, the all - well, all the non-marauders – pulled out their rule sheets to see what James meant.

The sheet now read:

_THE GAME_

_GENERAL OVERVIEW_

_The person who suggested to play the game goes first. They must pick someone and ask them Truth or Dare. The person asked MUST ANSWER. They must answer their truth or do their dare. If they don't, the person who gave them the dare may come up with three alternatives with NO RULES and then they will be voted on by the others. If that is not completed, they will go a day stark naked. Yes, that really is a rule. These parchments have been charmed so that the moment your quill touches the paper you will have an urge to comply to the rules._

_The Game will last for an entire week, never ending (YES, that is twenty-four hours!) Ask your questions/give dares using the other parchment. If one person writes something, it will appear on everyone else's, also. Don't worry, Lillikins, If a teacher (or anyone else) looks at the parchment, it will simply look like notes from the subject you are in at the time or that you last had. Yeah, it took us ages to find that spell. You will receive a watch, which will become warm when someone has written something on the parchment. It will also wake you up during the night if your name is written on the parchment. The time on the watch is not the time, but the amount of time left until the end of the game. (See rule #12 for more info)_

_The rules are written below. If you break the rules, the punishment is the same as the chicken. _

_Have fun!_

_RULES_

_1. You cannot pick the person who picked you._

_2. You cannot play in teams; that is a different game._

_3. You cannot give a dare that includes being completely naked (unless it is a chicken.)_

_4. You cannot harm anyone other than a Slytherin or one who is on the Marauder hit list (such as Amos Diggory.)_

_5. You cannot _permanently_ change some-ones appearance or damage any property._

_6. For the duration of the game you can't tell anyone you are playing a game or doing a dare._

_7. Truths can't be repeated to any person not playing._

_8. You can't let anyone else see your parchment._

_9. You must complete (or at least start, if it is a long one) your dare within an hour of receiving it, unless it is a dare that can only be performed at a certain time, say, lunch, or if the darer says 'after classes finish' or something similar._

_10. You must wear your watch at all times._

_11. You must pick someone else within five minutes of your dare/truth ending._

_12. If someone is put in detention, the game pauses and the extra time is added to the end._

_13. **RULES MAY BE ADDED IF THEY ARE PASSED BY A 75% MAJORITY**__. (Note from Sirius: for those of you who can't do that percentage in your head, with 8 people playing that's 6 people that must agree.)_

_14. The person doing the dare may take leave of the dare (if necessary) in order to dare another person or participate in another dare, but must then resume the previous dare as soon as possible._

_15. When giving a dare, the darer may present the victim with two options, and ask them _'would you rather_?' The victim must then pick one and do one. The two options must be similar yet different… i.e. would you rather eat large chocolate cake or a large waffle?_

_16. You must pick truth at least once for every five dares, and vice versa.  
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_17. Where if the victim has done his dare slightly incorrectly, or only partially, they do not get a chicken; they get given a normal dare from the darer. However, this dare does not have to be written on the parchment - it can be told verbally – and does not have to be told to the rest of the players. In fact, the victim and the darer MUST NOT tell any other players until the dare is completed, when all players must be informed._

_18. The darer may change the ending time of the dare if they have a majority vote (and I mean more than 50%) but they can only make it shorter – not longer._

"Wow, that's a pretty impressive spell," said Lily.

"Not really," sighed James. "Originally, we made it so that rule 13 would aways be the last one, but that just got really confusing when we were making rule changes. We could never remember which number we were up to."

"Well, that's understandable," said Alice.

"Peter," said Remus, "Isn't there somewhere you have to be?"

"Wait!" exclaimed Alice, "I have to ask some-one! I have only-" she checked her _real_ watch – "Forty seconds before I'll have to do a chicken!"

"She grabbed her paper and wrote down the first name that came to her mind.

_James, Truth or Dare? –A_

"There we go," said Alice. Peter, you can continue now."

Peter gulp, and then stood up on shaky legs. This wasn't the worst thing he'd ever had to do in a game of truth or dare, but still. Last year, James had made him sneak into the Slytherin common rooms and scream bloody murder. He'd made it back to the common room, but he didn't think his let arm had ever been the same since then.

Or that time in fourth year, when Sirius dared him to… No, lets not talk about that.

On shaky legs Peter made his way to the Slytherin table and hoped on top of it, too scared to take in the profanities that the Slytherins were yelling at him. He hoped with all his heart that his friends had placed a shield charm on him like they said they would.

Back at the Gryffindor table, Remus was shaking with laughter – however, it looked a little forced, like a result of bad acting – while James was watching amusedly, and Sirius was trying his very best to look horrified… though if one listened carefully, one could hear that odd gurgling, spluttering noise the body makes when one if trying their hardest not to laugh and are very close to failing.

"Why did I make him do this," groaned Lily, putting her head on the table.

"It's a game, Lils," said Alice, patting her on the back. "At least you didn't make him act like a git for several hours…" it took a while, but when James realised what Alice had said, she received a sharp kick under the desk.

"James!"

"Shh," hissed Remus. "Wormtail's starting to sing!"

And so he was.

His dancing was not that great – it was mainly composed of a bit of jumping, the traditional disco finger to the hip and then in the air and, surprisingly, a couple of twirls. However, that just made it all the more hilarious.

The Lyrics, however… well, lets just say they caused Sirius – both the real one and the pretend one – to spit out their food and stare at Peter with horrified, ashamed eyes.

"_Violets are red…_"

"You have got to be kidding me," said Frank in horror.

"_Venomous tentaculas are green_."

"This has got to be the worst singing I have heard in my life.. and that includes Sirius!" groaned James.

"Hey!" exclaimed Remus.

"_My friends may not like you-"_

"Well, he got that part right," muttered Remus,

"_But I don't think you're mean!_"

"Oh. My. Merlin." said Lily.

"Shh, lets just stay quiet and listen, now, yeah?" said Alice.

"Fine."

"_Primroses are Pale, _

"_Lilies are white,_

"_In actual fact,  
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"_You're better than just alright._

"_Daffodils are yellow, _

"_Orchids are pink,_

"_I really do like you; _

"_Much more than you think._

"_Dark Columbines are black, _

"_Periwinkles are blue,_

"_You may not believe it, _

"_But I really love you._

"_Lavender is purple, _

"_Poppies are orange-y,_

"_Alecto Carrow, _

"_Will you please go out with me?"_

Frank jumped up at the end of the song and applauded as loudly as he could manage, as per James' dare for him. He got a couple of strange looks, but not many. Most people were still staring wide eyed and open mouthed at Peter.

Peter stood and waited, unsure of what to do next. Lily had said to keep going until he got a detention, but the teachers all seemed to be in shock.

The Slytherins were in shock as well, though Alecto was looking disgusted, and several of the girls were sniggering.

With a squeak, he hopped off the table - well, he _fell_ off the table... at least that was what it looked like - and walked back to the Gryffindors, who also seemed to be in shock, but for a different reason.

"How the-"

"James!"

"-ing hell did you get out of that?" said James, ignoring Lily's exclamation.

Peter shrugged and grabbed some toast. Inside he was still shaking from terror, but he didn't want to seem weak in front of his friends.

"Isn't it obvious?" snorted Remus. "His horrible dancing and even worse singing has scarred the Slytherins for life and some-how rendered them even less capable of speech than before.

"What was wrong with the singing?" Asked Peter, looking up from his food. He knew his dancing was a little off, but he thought his song was quite good. He had come up with all those rhymes after all.

"Well, for starters," sniggered Remus, "Violets are blue, not red."

"No they're not!" said Peter. "The rhyme always goes 'Violets are red and roses are… oh."

Peter turned just as bright a colour as the Rose he was about to describe.

"Exactly."

Peter, shuddered, and suddenly his terror broke through.

"Peter? Peter Pettigrew?"

Still shaking, Peter turned to see the hulking form of Alecto Carrow standing behind him. She was standing with her hands behind her back, looking innocent – well, a least trying to.

"Um, yes?" he gulped.

"I would like to answer your question," she said. Then, suddenly, she dropped the innocent façade, pulled the beef pie from behind her back – she had wanted a cream pie, but as they weren't served at lunch, so the beef one had to do – and launched it a Peter's face, while yelling- "NO!"

The she stalked back to her table, surrounded by cheers. Well, cheers from her table.

There were several – okay, more than several - sniggers coming from the Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables, all of who would not cheer for a Slytherin unless their life depended on it, yet thought that Alecto's actions were well justified.

"How dare she!" growled Remus.

"May I remind you that Sirius did the same thing to Snape two weeks ago?" said Alice.

"No, you may not."

"Didn't think so."

"This pie isn't half bad," said Peter, licking some gravy off his chin.

"Ew, Pete, that's from the Slytherin table! Who knows what they've done to it!" exclaimed Alice.

"Still," shrugged Peter. He was back to is usual self… terrified before something happened, passive and slightly strange afterwards, especially when he realised that none of the teachers present had the heart to punish Alecto after her ordeal despite the fact that she was a Slytherin and a bully. Besides, Peter didn't seem to mind. Not to mention the fact that McGonagall was not in the room. If she had off been, they both would have received a detention for sure.

"What I miss?" asked Hestia, jumping into a seat near Frank. "Peter, why on earth do you have gravy and pieces of beef all over you? Oh! I didn't miss your dare, did I? Please say I didn't!"

"Yeah, you did," said Lily. "But what took you so long?"

"Oh, I saw a bunch of Ravenclaws on my way here. And your stupid dare meant that I had to flirt with all of them…"

"Sorry Hest," said Lily. Her apology didn't come across as very sincere, however, as she was giggling as she said it.

"Oh, that reminds me," said Alice. "James, you still haven't answered the question."

"Oh yeah!"

_Dare. –J_

"So, what did I really miss?" asked Hestia.

"Well, Frank and Alice got caught coming out of a broom closet looking a little scruffy by almost the whole school, and then Peter did a terrible routine which Frank applauded and got a pie in Pete's face which was apparently good enough to make him drool," said Sirius.

"Okay… I think understood that. But I can't _believe_ I missed Peter's dare!"

"I can," said Remus.

_I dare you to sit with the Slytherins during potions and not insult them at all. Also, you must not hex them, curse them, jinx them, hit them, or do anything of the sort. And don't you dare try to find a loop hole, Potter! –A_

_No way. –J_

_Would you rather a chicken? –A_

_Is anyone noticing a recurring theme here? –L_

_You mean where one person gives a dare, the other says no, then the first person threatens them with a chicken? –R_

_Yes, exactly that one, Padfoot. –L_

_In that case, Flower, no I haven't. –R_

_Padfoot, you are incorrigible. –L_

_It's all part of the charm, love. –R_

_Okay, that was just scary. –H_

_Hear, Hear. –S_

_Okay, I think we need to discuss this. A couplet is two lines, not two words! You can't do that and expect it to rhyme! –J_

_Actually James, that is technically a couplet. –L_

_Whose side are you on? –J_

_The winning side, probably. Which would be Remus' side. –R_

_Oh my Merlin, make it stop! I'm getting a headache! -A_

_S- Remus is right though. The definition of a couplet is two lines which are usually in the same meter and that are joined by rhyme. And as there is no specification as to how long a line is… –L_

_Now who ate the dictionary? –J_

_She is right, though. –A_

_I still don't think two repeated words should count as a couplet. –J_

_Neither do I, if I'm honest. –L_

_Right then. Sirius, no more repeating the same word or I'll give you an absolute awful dare next.. you know I would! –J_

_What did I do? –R_

_Uh! Fine! . REMUS, no more repeating the same word or I'll give you an absolute awful dare next! –J_

_But… But… -S_

_I MEAN IT! –J_

_Back to the topic at hand… James has his dare, or did I misunderstand? –S_

_Now, that WAS NOT A COUPLET. –J_

_Why not? –P_

_Lils said it had to be in the same meter! That was nit in the same meter! –J_

_Um, no… Lily said _usually_ in the same meter. –F_

_Gah! -J_

_Ha ha, Ha ha. –S_

_Alright, that is it! I can dare some one right, even though I have to wait until potions to do mine? –J_

_Yes… Other people have. –F_

_Brilliant! Sirius Black, truth or dare? –J_

_Dare. –R_

_What? I said Sirius! –J_

_Yes, but James, they swapped names, remember? –L_

_Fine! Remus, snog Hestia for fifteen seconds, RIGHT NOW. –J_

_Aww, come on man, that's not fair. Can't you pick another dare? –S_

_You've used that rhyme before. –J_

_No I didn't! That was him! –S_

Sirius pointed and Remus.

_Why is it always Hestia? (And I'm sorry, but I can't think of a rhyme for Hestia.) –S_

_Not always, Pa- Moony. I got kissed by my BEST MATE at breakfast, or did you forget? –J_

_James, are you alright? This isn't like you. (And Sirius, that is alright... I can't either.) –L_

_Yeah, sorry. I'm just a bit tired today. –J_

_I'll say. –A_

_So… will you change the dare, now that you've stopped giving me a glare? -S_

_Nope. –J_

_Hestia, you've been rather quiet for a while. Are you alright, or are you in shock or something? –L_

_Nah, I'm fine. –H_

_Why the quietness, then? –A_

_Well, seeing as I was the one that dared Remus… I mean, I didn't want to say anything before because it was so funny, but now it has gone a bit far… -H_

_Hestia, what are you talking about? –F_

_Remus' couplet dare only lasted until lunch. –H_

All was quiet for a moment then…

"WHAT?"

"Sirius, calm down!"

"I'm sorry… it was just… so… funny…" gasped Remus, who was having a bit of trouble breathing due to him laughing so hard in true Sirius Black style.

"Not you, the other Sirius! Er, Remus, calm down!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST TELL ME THAT I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RYHMES FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR FOR NO REASON?"

"You know…" said Lily thoughtfully, "I don't think he's acting very much like Remus… I think this could warrant a chicken!"

"No it couldn't," said Sirius, fishing for a loop hole like the _real_ Remus would have done. "because I wasn't the one who you dared… you dared Remus to switch with Sirius, not Sirius to switch with Remus, so therefore, this technically isn't my dare."

"And what is your name right now?" asked Lily.

"Siri-"

"Remus Lupin," cut in Remus, a grin on his face.

"Um, yeah, my name's Remus Lupin," said Sirius. Then the horror became plain on his face. "Oh no…"

"Who's dare did you say it was?" asked Lily.

"Um…"

"Remus', I believe... So Frank, you came up with the dare… would you like to do the honours?"

"Well yes, I would. But first… James, I believe you had an idea, you wanted to use?"

"That I did, Frank, that I did."

As James and Frank smirked down at a very pale and terrified looking Siri- sorry – 'Remus Lupin', Lily wondered what on earth a chicken could be like if it warranted that amount of fear from the most fearless person she knew.

'Remus' gulped, and resigned himself to the couple of absolutely awful couple of hours that were to come.

* * *

><p><strong>More Acknowledgments for you wonderful people;<strong>

** - The idea of Peter singing a song and dance routine on the table is a mixture of the ideas I got from _WobblyJelly_, _PhoenixCall_ and _Mischief1Managed_. **

**- Sirius and Remus' dare of Switching personalities for a day, Hestia's dare of leaving the classroom and that little thing about Peter screaming in the Sytherin Common room (sorry about not making that a whole dare; I really wanted to add it, but I wasn't sure how to do it the long way so... yeah) AND the one about James sitting with the Slytherins (which I haven't written yet) was also all from _PhoenixCall_. I didn't even realize I had taken so many from one person until I started to write this part just now!**

**- Another one from _Mischief1Managed_ was the dare of Alice and Frank coming out of a broom closet.**

**- The other dare I mentioned but didn't write, the one where Remus has to kiss Hestia, was provided by _Random4ever_.**

**Thanks again! These were great!**


	10. Definitions and Capital Letters

**Well, no one can complain about _that_ being a slow update. ;)**

**Thanks to all you guys that reviewed! I got seven in like... two hours or something! Yay! **

**This chapter is 100% parchment writing... no dialogue, and no... what do you call the other stuff? Action? Whatever, you know what I mean. I don't think it is as good as the other ones, but it's okay. The next chapter is going to be good though... you'll see why at the end. I'm not one for non-canonical romance (unless it is unknown, such as Sirius/Hestia) But as this is a dare... looking forward to it. XD**

**Disclaimer: Despite that fact that my wish of having tacos for dinner came true, I doubt that my wish of owning Harry Potter (or of Harry Potter being true...) ever will. :(  
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* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Definitions and Capital Letters

_So Frank, you know the plan? –J_

_No, no, no, no, no… -S_

_Of course, you didn't think I would forget, did you? –F_

_No, no, no, no, no… -S_

_No, course not. Just checking to be sure, you know. –J_

_No, no, no, no, no… -S_

_Well, better safe than sorry, I suppose… -F_

_No, no, no, no, no… -S_

_Definitely. –J_

_NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! –S_

'_Remus' is acting little strange today, don't you think, James? –F_

_NO! NO! __**NOOOOO!**__ –S_

_Yeah, not very Moony like at all. –J_

'_Remus', I don't think you're helping your case here… -L_

_And you two are being incredibly mean. –A_

_Who? –J_

_Us? –F_

_Oh dear. People, I think Frank has decided to turn into a _third_ Sirius Black. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? –H_

_You know, as my girlfriend, I would have thought you would have been at least a little bit happy that there was more than one of me. –R_

_What was it you were saying an hour ago? That the entire world would commit suicide? –A_

_Wow, 'Padfoot', you should take Professor Alby's place! You would do a so much better job… -L_

_FLOWER, YOU HAVE WOUNDED ME! –R_

_Um, I think it was a compliment. –A_

_Oh. In that case… thank you Flower. –R_

_Er, no problem, 'Padfoot.' –L_

_I have a question. –R_

_Why am I not surprised? –J_

_What is it, 'Padfoot'? –L_

_Why is everyone writing mine and Moony's name in commas? –R_

_Er, well, because it is easier to differentiate between you. –L_

_Why can't you just- oh, hang on. What does differentiate mean? –R_

_**Differentiate: **-S**  
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_(Verb) [trans] -S  
><em>

_**1 **__recognize or ascertain what makes (someone or something) different __: _children can **differentiate** the past **from** the present_. __See note at __**distinguish**__. -S  
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• _[ intrans. ] (__**differentiate between**__) identify differences between (two or more things or people) __: _he is unable to differentiate between fantasy and reality. -S

• _make (someone or something) appear different or distinct __: _Twain was careful to **differentiate** Huck's speech **from** that of other white people. -S

_**2**__ Technical__ make or become different in the process of growth or development : [ trans. ] _the receptors are developed and differentiated into sense organs_| [ intrans. ] _the cells differentiate into a wide variety of cell types. -S

_**3**__ Mathematics __transform (a function) into its derivative. -S_

_**DERIVATIVES **-S**  
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_**differentiation **__|-__ˌ__ren sh __ē__ˈ__ā__ sh __ə__n|__ noun -S  
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_**differentiator **__|-__ˌ__ā__t__ə__r|__ noun -S_

_**ORIGIN:**__ early 19th cent.: from medieval Latin -S  
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_**differentiat- '**_**carried away from**_**,' **__from the verb __**differentiare**__, from _**differentia**_(see __**differentia **__).__ –S_

_Er, did you just copy that out from a dictionary, by any chance? –F_

_No Frank, he knew that from the top of his head. –R_

_Seriously? –P_

_Nope. Siriusly, maybe… -R_

_Oh, not again. –J_

_But yes, he did. He's got a dictionary under the table, look. He must of conjured it. –H_

_HA! I _knew_ Moony had a secret! That's how he can always spit out definitions! –R_

_Uh, nice try, 'Moony', but that won't get you out of a chicken. –J_

_And I would think really hard, 'Remus', before you write – or say - the word you are thinking of. –L_

… _-S_

_Anyway, back on topic… -F_

_Ah yes, my apologies, Frank. Let's continue with the plan. –J_

_Good idea. –F_

_No, no, no, no, no… -S  
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_Oh, shut up, 'Moony'. –J_

_There you go again! You've done it three times in the last… oh hang on… -R_

_He's going back to count the lines. –P_

_Yes, thank you Peter. –J_

_Three times in eight lines! Why? –R_

_We told you, it's to differentiate. And if you still don't know what that means, look up at the definition so thoughtfully provided by 'Remus' earlier. –L_

_What; to transform a - open bracket - function - close bracket - into it's derivative? What does that even mean? –R  
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_Shall I give you a demonstration? –S_

_I'd like to see you try. –R_

_Fine: watch and learn… -S_

_Now he's conjured a Muggle mathematics textbook to copy out of. –P_

_Yes, _thank you_, Peter. –L_

_Well, if _[y = 4x^3 + 3x^2 + 5x + 9]_, the derivative will be… -S_

[y' = 12x^2 + 6x + 5]_ –S_

_Yes, Moony, I am sure that would have been very impressive if we had any idea what all those 'x's and 'y's meant. But as we don't do Muggle maths… -R_

_Well, I do Arithmancy, which is basically the same thing, right? –S_

_Um, no. –L_

_Oh. Um, oops. –S_

_CAN SOME-ONE PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION? –R_

_Definition 1 and 2, Sirius. –H_

_Oh… but why can't you tell the difference between us? You never had any trouble before… -R_

_Oh Merlin. –H_

_Anyway, Sirius, didn't you notice that Hestia just wrote your name without the commas? –L_

_So she did! I LOVE YOU, HESTIA JONES! –R_

_-shudders- -H_

_That was a shudder of pleasure right? RIGHT? –R  
><em>

_Sure… -H_

_I knew it! –R_

_Okay, now that we have that sorted.. –F_

_What did we get sorted, exactly? –R_

_Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. –P_

_Okay. We will not write their names in commas. They will be swapped until the dare ends at the end of the day. –F_

_Okay, I get that. –P_

_I like that! –R_

_I have a clarification to make. –S_

_Making good use of that dictionary, I see… -J_

_When is it the end of the day? Is it when it goes dark, or is it at midnight. –S_

_Moony, the end of the day ALWAYS means midnight. Come on, I thought you were smart! –R_

_ANYWAY… -J_

_You know, I think the word 'anyway' is the word that is written on this parchment the most. –L_

_I agree. –H_

_Sirius –R_

_Um, you are Sirius. –S_

_Sirius, Sirius –R_

_You alright there, mate? -S_

_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius –R_

_Um, what? –L_

_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius –R_

_Um, Padfoot… -J_

_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius –R_

_My word, I think he has OFFICIALY lost it this time. –J_

_Yeah, I think so too. –L_

_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius –R_

_SIRIUS BLACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? –H_

_Well, my dear Hestia, you see, Lily was complaining about the word 'anyway' being written the most, so decided to make another word be the one that was written the most on the parchment. And what better word is there than 'Sirius'? –R_

_I bet I could think of one… -S_

_Oh my Merlin… -H_

_You know, Hest, you seem to be saying that a lot lately. –R_

_Really? I hadn't noticed. –H_

_Ah well. Onwards… -R_

_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius –R_

_Okay! I think you have successfully made 'Sirius' the word that is written the most! You can stop now! –L_

_Does Sirius even count as a word? –P_

_What? –L_

_Well, it's a name, right? Does that mean it's a word? –P_

_Oh no! Peter, you have a point! –R_

_No, he doesn't! A name is still a word! –L_

_Are you sure? –R_

_Positive! A name is still a word! A name is still a word! A NAME IS STILL A WORD! –L_

_Well, you seem to feel fairly strongly about this… -R_

_I do, I do! –L_

_Well, better safe than sorry, huh? –R_

_Sirius, No! –F_

_Don't do it! –H_

_Please, mate, don't! –J_

_Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog –R_

_Of all the words to choose from, he picks dog? Why? –F_

_Peter, what have you done? –L_

_Sorry! -P_

_Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog –R_

_Oh my Merlin… -H_

_Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog… -R_

* * *

><p><em>One and a half hours later…<em>

_Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog! –R_

_Oh good, are you done? Finally? –S_

_Hang on: dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog –R_

_Come on! –P_

_Dog! There that should do it! –R_

_FINALLY! –J_

_EVERYBODY CELEBRATE! –A_

_I can't believe you just spent the entire of Charms writing the word 'dog' over and over! –L_

_Well, you were the one that was complaining. –R_

_Sirius, you do realize that you just wasted an entire hour and half of The Game, right? -A_

_What? NO! SAY IT ISN'T SO! –R_

_Well, it kinda was your fault. – F_

_Oh, that reminds me! –H_

_What? –R_

_Can some-one please put down rule 9 for me? –H_

_Um, Hest… -R  
><em>

_Just do it! –H_

_9. You must complete (or at least start, if it is a long one) your dare within an hour of receiving it, unless it is a dare that can only be performed at a certain time, say, lunch, or if the darer says 'after classes finish' or something similar. –L_

_Thank you, Lils. Now, has everyone read that? –H_

_Yes… -S_

_Yep. –J_

_Yeah. –A_

_Yes. –F_

_Yes. –P_

_YEEESSSS! –R_

_Good. Now, can some-one please tell me how long it has been since James gave 'Sirius' his dare? –H_

_About one and half hours! Yes! –J_

_Oh, this is perfect, James! You have to give him the chicken, right? –F_

_Yep! –J_

_BRILLIANT! Right, we are joining their chickens together! –F_

_Since chickens have no Rules! –J_

_This is great, neither of them can back out now. –F_

_Remus, I'm scared. –R_

_Me too, Sirius, if I'm honest. –S_

_Okay, our chicken is waiting until dinner time. –J_

_Again, remember, no Rules, so we don't have to give it immediately. –F_

_Yeah, We know, guys. –H_

_You know guys? Wow, I thought you only knew girls! –R_

… _-H_

_Come on everyone, Professor Slughorn will murder us if we're late! –L_

_When you say 'us', you mean everyone except for you and Moony, right? –R_

_Um, no? –L_

_Hey, it's my turn to dare some-one, right? –R_

_Yeah… -J_

_Okay. Lily, T or D? –R_

_D. –L_

_Really? –R_

_No. –L_

_Oh. Oh well, too late now! –R_

_Lily, we've talked about this! Sarcasm doesn't work when you're writing on parchment! –A  
><em>

_I'm realizing this. –L_

_Was that sarcastic? –H_

_No. –L_

_Was that? –R_

_No. –L_

_What about that? –R_

_Lets, get a move on, shall we? –H_

_Good idea. –J_

_So, Lily 'Flower' Evans, I dare you to walk into Potions with only tn minute left of the class. –R_

_Why would you want me to do that? –L_

_I made a bet with Prongs about two years ago that you could walk into potions with only ten minutes left of class and not get a detention. Of course, you are never that late so we never finished the bet. This is a perfect opportunity to prove that I am right. –R_

_Oh, if you win that bet I will not be happy! –S_

_How does it concern you Remus? –R_

_I hate you, Sirius Black. –S_

_I am laughing my guts out here. –H_

_Ew. Hest, Maybe you should go to the hospital wing, or you'll get blood all over the floor. –R_

_It was a figure of speech! –H_

_Anyway… -S_

_-gasp-! No, not the dreaded word! I will have to counteract it! –R_

_-whacks head on wall- -L_

_DOG! –R_

_-joins Lily- -A_

_I accept my dare. –L_

_Good. –R_

_So, Alice, truth or dare. –L_

_Truth. Make it quick. ;) –A_

_Prongs, they're planning something again. –R_

_I don't blame them! –J_

_That's against the rules! –R_

_No, it isn't. –J_

_Yes it is. –R_

_No it isn't! –J_

_Sirius, you are outvoted, leave them alone! –S_

_Fine! –R_

_What is the one thing you would change about Frank if you had the choice? –L_

_Oh, that's easy, I pretty much said that yesterday in Herbology. –A_

_Did you? Oops. Oh well, say it again anyway. –L_

_Well, it wasn't exactly the same question it was just what I found the most annoying. –A_

_Ah yes, I remember now. –L_

_I'm waiting… -F_

_Right. I wish he would stop treating me like a damsel in distress, always carrying my stuff and opening doors and pulling out chairs. I mean, I'm seventeen years old! I can survive! –A_

_Sorry, Al. –F_

_It's fine. –A_

_AHHH! Some one, shield my eyes! It burns! –R_

_Oh, shut up. –J_

_And if anyone says that the words 'shut up' are written a lot, I will murder them. –H_

_Oh, so they are! Dog, dog, dog… -R  
><em>

_HESTIA! –J_

_Oops. –H_

_Nah, I think I covered it before. –R_

_Oh, good. –L_

_So, Alice… -R_

_Alright, I'm going to the common room now. Have fun in potions! –L_

_Bye Lils! –A_

_MY EYES! PRONGS, YOU MUST THINK OF OTHERS IN SITUATIONS SUCH AS THESE! –R  
><em>

_Come on, I've seen you and Hestia do much worse things. –J_

_Yeah, but it's different when it's me and Hestia than when it's you and Lils. I mean, it's just wrong! –R_

_How so? –J_

_Well, you're my brother, right? And Flower is like my sister. So when you two kiss it's like… ew. –R_

_Sirius, you have a twisted mind. –L_

_FLOWER! You're back! –R_

_Guys, Slughorn wants us in the classroom… -S  
><em>

_Only on the parchment. And James, don't forget to sit with the Slytherins. –L_

_I won't. –J_

_Hey, you're not supposed to remind him! I wanted to give him a chicken! –R  
><em>

_So? –L_

_You are all breaking rule N__º__ 2! –R_

_Which is… -H_

_You cannot play in teams! –R  
><em>

_We aren't playing in teams. We simply have allies. –L_

_But.. but… -R_

_Aren't you supposed to be doing work? –L_

_'Supposed' being the operative word in that statement. –H_

_Oh, I don't know… Slughorn seems a bit confused at the moment. –S_

_I'll say. His favorite student is missing and James Potter – JAMES POTTER – sitting with the SLYTHERINS 'voluntarily' without jinxing them? I'm confused and_ I_ know what's going on. –R_

_How is James going? –L_

_Ha, he can't even look at his parchment. He's too busy defending his cauldron. –H_

_From the Slytherins? –L_

_Who else? –A_

_Tell me what's happening! –L_

_Ah, Lily, now you know how I felt yesterday. –P_

_Yes, Peter, I am very sorry and will try my very hardest not to exclude you ever again. Now tell me; WHAT IS GOING ON? –L_

_Well, the Slytherins keep trying to put stuff James' cauldron – you know, stuff that would make the potion explode – so James is a little busy trying to stop them. –S_

_Yeah, and due to the dare he can't jinx them or curse them or anything; it's hilarious! _

_Ah, clever. He's put a shield charm on top of the cauldron. –S_

_Not clever. Stupid. Now he won't be able to place things in there himself. –L_

_Ah, right you are. He's realized that, now. –S_

_And what an amusing realization it was. -R_

_He should put shield charm as a bubble around him and the table. –L_

_Right, thanks Lils. –J_

_Ooh, that was risky. Avery almost got some salamander blood in his cauldron, then! –R_

_What potion are you making? –L_

_Ah, there's the Lily Evans I know… -S_

_Which potion though? (Hey, Remus!) –L_

_Erm… it's the Wide eye potion. (Yes, Lily?) –S_

_Thanks Remus! (Check you potion.) –L_

_Welcome! (Thanks, Lils!) –S_

_So, Sirius, what's happening now? –L_

_The Slytherins are getting a little mad… they just threw a bat's spleen at James' head, but it rebounded off the shield and hit Slughorn in the… well, you know. –R_

_Nice. –L_

_Yeah… You know, I think ol'Sluggy's going to be so distracted that I'll win this bet for sure. –R_

_Speaking of bets… You owe me five Galleons. –L_

_Do not! –R_

_Do too! –L_

_Wait, when was this from? –R_

_Yesterday. I bet that James would yell at you, and he did. –L_

_Oh… right. –R_

_Tell you what, why don't you pay me tomorrow? –L_

_I like the way you think, Flower. –R_

_Why thank you, Padfoot. –L_

_Wait tomorrow? But then… then… -S_

_Remus, your potion is going weird.. –R_

_Oh! So it is! LILY! –S_

_What? –L_

_What do I do if my potion turns yellow? –S_

_Remus, you have never asked me for help before… -L_

_Well, you know what they say… there's a first time for everything! Now hurry! –S_

_Try putting in another sprig of wolfsbane and then stir it… clockwise until it turns green again. –L_

_Okay… -S_

_Sirius, what is happening now? –L_

_Wow, pushy are we? –R_

_I'm BORED! –L_

_Okay, okay… well, James' cauldron just blew up in his face and turned his eyes purple, then Rosier pushed him into the gunk on the ground, and now his whole face is melting and Slughorn is sending him to the hospital… oh; OUCH! Hestia just got splashed and now her ear has burnt off… -R_

_WHAT? –L_

_Hestia just got splashed and her ear burnt of! –R_

_SERIOUSLY? –L_

_NO! –R_

_OH MY MERLIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS COULD HAVE HAPPENED! IS SHE ALRIGHT! –R_

_YES, OF COURSE! –R  
><em>

_MAKE SURE SHE GOES STRAIGHT TO MADAME POMFREY TO GET IT GROWN BACK! –L_

_LILY EVANS, I WAS JOKING! –R_

_AND THEN MAKE SURE SHE COMES STRAIGHT TO SEE ME SO I CAN CHECK TO SEE IF SHE IS OKAY AND – OH MY MERLIN, JAMES! IS HE ALRIGHT, TOO? WHAT DID THE GUNK DO TO HIM? –L_

_WHAT IS WITH ALL THE SHOUTING? –H_

_WELL, YOU SEE, I TOLD LILY THAT YOU AND JAMES WERE DYING, AND NOW SHE IS FREAKING OUT. I THOUGHT I'D BETTER WRITE IN CAPITALS TOO, AS IT WOULD BE MORE LIKELY THAT SHE WOULD READ IT. –R_

_THEY ARE DYING? OH MY MERLIN, OH MY MERLIN... TELL ME MORE! I NEED TO HELP... SOMEHOW... -L  
><em>

_LILY EVANS, CALM DOWN. –H_

_HOW CAN I CALM DOWN? MY BEST FRIEND AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE DYING IN POTIONS CLASS AND I AM NOT ALLOWED IN THE CLASSROOM! –L_

_WHOA, LILS, CALM. READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY. __**I AM NOT DYING. NEITHER IS JAMES. SIRIUS WAS **_**JOKING**_. –H_

_WHAT? –L_

_YOU HEARD – ER, READ – HER. I WAS JOKING. –R_

_SIRIUS BLACK, I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU! –L_

_Lily, Lily, it worked, the potion in back to normal – whoa, why are you all shouting? –S_

_Okay, okay, lets all calm down- oh, hang on a sec, Slughorns coming to check my potion. –H_

_Lils, you may as well start coming down here, there's only twenty minutes left of class. It'll take you more than five minutes to get down here… -A_

_BUT... WHAT IS HAPPENING! -L_

_Alice, just repeat what you said. Lily, CALM DOWN. -R_

__Lils, you may as well start coming down here, there's only twenty minutes left of class. It'll take you more than five minutes to get down here. -A__

_Oh, sorry. And no, i don't need to... James showed me heaps of secret passageways a little while ago. I just need to calm down a little. –L_

_WHAT? HE GAVE AWAY OUR SECRETS? –R_

_We really have to do something about these capital letters… -H_

_Ooh, Hestia's back! –R_

_Yeah, and have you noticed that odd colored smoke coming out of your cauldron? –H_

_Erm, no? –R_

_Didn't think so. –H_

_Wait! What color is it? –L_

_Blue. Bright, bright blue. –R_

_Get back! NOW! –L_

_Why? –R_

_Just do it! –L_

_Oooh, look, Avery almost got a heap of mint leaves in James' cauldr- -R_

_Sirius? –L_

_SIRIUS? –L_

_Please tell me you got away from that cauldron… -L_

_Sirius? –L_

_Remus! The real Remus! –L_

_Lily, what's wrong? –S_

_I meant- oh, never mind, what happened to Sirius' cauldron? –L_

_Nothing. –S_

_Wait, what? –L_

_Nothing. –S_

_Remus… -L_

_Yes? –S  
><em>

_What color was the smoke coming out of Sirius' cauldron? –L_

_Orange. He added some more dried billywig stings and it fixed it. –S_

_Remus? –L_

_Yeah? –S_

_Hit Sirius over the head for me. –L_

_Will do. –S_

_Lily, you have five minutes. –A_

_Right, I'm on my way. –L_

_You guys, that was mean. –A_

_What was mean? –S_

_Oh, sorry. SIRIUS, that was mean. –A_

_Was it? –R_

_Yes. –A_

_You scared the wits out of her! -H_

_Well, I ruined my potion in the process, so I think it's a fair exchange. –R_

_Lily has two minutes… -F_

_Yeah James, ready to loose that bet? –R_

_Um, I think James is a little busy right now. –H_

_Yeah, Rosier almost got salamander blood in his potion again. –A_

_That could have been nasty. –F_

_Oh, hey Lily! -S_

_You know, you could just say 'hey' out loud. –L_

_And... She's scot-free! –H_

_Yeah, "_I'm sure you had a perfectly good reason and that you won't let it happen again…_" What is with that? –A_

_So unfair. –F_

_I bet if I did that I would have gotten a detention… -H_

_Anyone would have but Lily. –A_

_OW! Merlin Padfoot, do you have to yell so loud? –S_

_I know! It was only.. how much was it? –H_

_Twenty Galleons. –R_

_Oh, well, that's alright then, I suppose… -H_

_Sirius! Look at what you did! –L_

_What? –R_

_You distracted James! –L_

_So he gets a D in potions for once. Big deal. –R_

_BIG DEAL? He just got his eyebrows burnt off! –L_

_What, and you don't like him as much when he doesn't look all pretty? –R_

_Ugh! –L_

_Was that a sound of disgust? As in, you don't like the way James looks? –R_

_Shut up! Just shut up! –L_

_Technically, I didn't say anything, so you can't tell me to shut up! –R_

_Gah! –L_

_Now you've done it. –H_

_Toilet break? Seriously? She only got here five minutes ago! –F_

_Yeah, well, she's the favorite, isn't she. –A_

_Well done, Sirius. Well done. It's only the second day and you've already driven Lily to a nervous breakdown. –H_

* * *

><p><em>A little while later…<em>

_Right. Right. Peter, truth or dare? –L_

_Um… dare… -P_

_I'd be careful, Pete, she's really angry right now. –R_

_And I wonder whose fault that is… -H_

_Peter, you must wear a skirt until the end of dinner. –L_

_Aw, come on, Lily! –P_

_Nope. I have had enough! Now ask some one else! –L_

_Er, um, okay then. Just let me go change.. –P_

_You have to be less than five minutes. –L_

_Fine! Frank, truth or dare! Done, now I am changing. –P_

_Good. –L_

_Geez Lils, calm down! –R_

_Yeah, you've got the chicken to look forward to! That starts at dinner! –J_

_I guess that would help… -L_

_Not to mention the way James looked without any eyebrows. –H_

_Hey, I got them grown back! –J_

_Yeah, I said _looked._ Past tense. –H_

_Right… -J_

_Yeah, okay guys. Sorry. –L_

_It's all right. You had plenty of reason to be annoyed. –J_

_A little more than plenty. –H_

_Oh look, Peter's back. –S_

_Good, does this mean we can go to dinner? –R_

_Padfoot, we are right outside the great hall. Yes, we are going to dinner. –J_

_Great! –R_

_And you'll be getting your chicken. –J_

_Not so great! –R_

_Right boys, what's the dare? –A_

_WAIT! Frank, –P_

_What? –F_

_Don't I have to dare you first? –P_

_No, you just asked the question, I haven't actually answered yet. –F_

_Oh right… onwards! –P_

_Okay. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black… -J_

_James Potter and I, Frank Longbottom, have joined together to create your chicken… -F_

_Which you shall receive due to your (Remus') inability to complete the dare in which he must… um… act like… himself… -J_

_And your (Sirius') inability to finish the dare in which you were to snog one Hestia Jones for fifteen seconds. –F_

_Are you guys going to share half of the words, or are you just going to get a move on? –S_

_Yeah, we're waiting to hear our fate! –R_

_Hah, you guys are so going to die. –H_

_So true. –S_

_Never fear, Remus my old boy… the world is not going to end today! –R_

_How can you be so sure? –S_

_Well, for starters, it's already tomorrow in Australia.–R_

_Oh yeah, so it is. Amazing! –S_

_Moving on… -A_

_Your dare is thus; -J_

_Today, within the next five minutes, in front of the entire school…-J_

_You, Sirius Black… -F_

_Must declare your undying love for Remus Lupin. Then you, Remus Lupin… -J_

_Must declare you're in love with Sirius Black. –F_

_And please do make it look realistic. We want no theatrics here. –J_

_Then, you will act like a couple until tomorrow at dinner (that's twenty-four hours, by the way)... -F_

_Including getting caught by a prefect in a broom closet! Don't forget that! –J_

_When you will stage… -F_

_A TOTALLY REALISTIC LOOKING BREAKUP… -J_

_Due to the fact that you, Remus Lupin… -F_

_Caught you, Sirius Black… -J_

_Pining after one James Potter. –F_

_Wait, what? That wasn't in the plan! –J_

_Sorry, sorry. One Hestia Jones. –F_

_That's better. (AND EVERY ONE NOTE THAT WE CAN CHANGE IT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS WRITTEN DOWN BECAUSE THIS IS A CHICKEN AND THERE ARE __**NO RULES**__.) –J_

_Sure thing, James. –L_

_Thank you. –J_

_So, where were we? –F_

_A totally realistic breakup due to the fact that Remus Lupin caught Sirius Black pining after Hestia Jones. –A_

_Ah yes. Thank you Alice. (James, that's your cue.) –F_

_(Oh, right. Thanks.) Then you, Sirius Black, will spend every moment with Hestia Jones… -J_

_(And we mean EVERY moment) –F_

_For the next twenty four hours… -J_

_And every time you, Remus Lupin, sees Sirius Black, or hears some-one speak his name… -F_

_You will burst into REALISTIC yet very loud tears. –J_

_After which you shall run away from him. –F_

_This shall also last for twenty-four hours. –J_

_Once the twenty-four hours are up… -F_

_You shall have a tearful, understanding reunion in the Great hall at dinner (dinner on Thursday, I mean, In case you're lost)… -J_

_During which you shall decide to be friends… -F_

_And everything will remain the way it was before. –J_

_This concludes your dare. –F_

_Are there any questions? –J_

* * *

><p><strong>So? What did you think?<strong>

**And thanks to those amazing reviewers.. I know I didn't use many this time, but still:**

**- _WobblyJelly_ gave me the truth about what would Alice change about Frank.**

**- _PhoenixCall_ suggested that I have Peter wear a skirt... and, as I said in the last chapter, that I have James sit with the Slytherins in Potions. '**

**- And I would like to give a HUGE thanks to _MySecretxXx_ who gave me the idea of making Remus and Sirius pretend to be dating, which, as they put it, "will work even better now everyone thinks that Sirius is gay." I think it will make a great chicken, don't you?**

**Also:  
><strong>

_**_PLEASE READ_: Several of you have been asking that I let the others find out about 'Moony'... I have put a poll on my profile to see what you think. Please vote! _**I won't let you se the results so it'**_ll be a surprise! (And if there is a suggestion you want that I have missed, message me and I'll add it.)  
><strong>_


	11. Death and The End

**Sooo sorry about the delay! It's just that I was on a tall ship for two weeks and now exams are coming up and all... **

**Also, thank you so much for the reviews! We are over a hundred! Yay!  
><strong>

**And I know this is short, but the next chapter is being posted right NOW. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

TUESDAY EVENING: Death and The End

Sirius Black was going to die.

So was Remus Lupin.

This was it.

The end of the line.

The end of the story.

The end of the legend.

They had run out of time.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were both going to die.

And there was nothing they could do about it.

This is the end of their story.


	12. Coupleness and Detention

**And here is the continuation of the story! Sirius and Rem are not really dead. Obviously. I just like being dramatic - I swear, every story I write seems to have at least one tiny chapter that has something to do with death. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor do I own the dares etc... well, not most of them anyway. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

STILL TUESDAY EVENING, ALMOST NIGHTTIME: Couple-ness and Detention

"Oh, stop sulking," said Lily, whacking Sirius and Remus on the back of their heads. "The sooner you do it the sooner it will be over with!"

"Well, not really, seeing as James and Frank gave a set time limit," Alice pointed out.

"Oh, shut up Alice," grumbled Lily.

"But it will be worse if they don't do it soon," pointed out Hestia. "James and Frank said five minutes."

"Not to mention a couple of 'right now's," said Peter. He was looking forward to this; it would be nice to not to be the one getting embarrassed for once.

"What happens if you don't do a chicken?" asked Hestia.

"You don't want to know," said Peter darkly, having done _that_ a fair few times in his life.

"Sirius! Remus! Get a move on!" yelled James.

"Okay, okay," groaned Remus. "I'm going."

"Remus…" growled James.

Sirius looked at him.

"Oh… sorry. Let's get this over with."

Sirius sighed, stood up out of his chair, and walked over to Remus.

"Remus Lupin!" said Sirius loudly, effectively gaining the halls attention. Everyone knew that when Sirius black stood up and yelled during a meal, they were in for an interesting time. "I need to tell you something! It has been on my mind for a long time now – well, since this morning - but I was afraid that you would not feel the same. I thought it was James, but it wasn't. His rejection earlier proved that to me! Please Remus, tell me you feel the same!"

"What do you mean? You haven't told me anything yet!"

"Hang on," muttered Lily, "Don't they still have to act in character?"

"Nah," said James. "Unfortunately, chickens have no rules other than the ones the darer sets down, remember? We didn't tell them to continue it because we thought it would make it more believable."

"Right…"

"Remus Lupin," said Sirius kneeling down and taking both of Remus' hands in his. "It was never James, I realise that now. It was never Hestia either, for that matter. It's you, it's always been you… since this morning, anyway."

"Oh Sirius," said Remus, betting his eyelashes, "I feel exactly the same way!"

"Great!" grinned Sirius.

"Kill me now," groaned Hestia.

"I thought you said no theatrics?" said Lily, leaning to towards James. "I thought you said they had to make it realistic?"

"Yeah," said James, rolling his eyes, "But for Sirius, this is realistic."

"Hey James," hissed Sirius.

"Yeah?"

"When you said 'act like a couple', you didn't mean that we have to kiss, did you?"

James put on a thoughtful face, and pretended to stroke a beard.

"Oh please, James, I'm begging!" whispered Remus catching on to the conversation.

James sighed.

"No matter how much trouble you guys are in, I wouldn't do that to you – not now I know what it is like, anyway. But you'll have to pass it through Frank."

The two boys turned their hopeful faces to Frank.

Frank shrugged.

"Fine by me."

"Yes! Come on Remy, time for some couple-y-ness."

"Alright, Siri."

With that, the two of them hopped up and walked out of the Great Hall, their interlocked hands swinging between them.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"What the hell was that?"

"How dare he! He was taking me to Hogsmeade on Saturday!"

"Lupin and Black?"

"Well, I guess that explains the show this morning…"

"_Lupin and Black?_"

"Hogsmeade! He was taking me to Hogsmeade!"

"I always knew they were gay…"

"Black sure moves fast, huh?"

"Now we know why the marauders spend so much time together…"

"No wonder Pettigrew's gotten odder, having to hang out with those two while Potter goes out with Evans…"

"_REMUS LUPIN AND SIRIUS BLACK?"_

"Who cares, Smith? HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING ME TO HOGSMEADE!"

While the hall talked about what they had just seen, the Gryffindors were busy with the game once more.

_Dare. –F_

… _-H_

_Tick… tock… tick… tock… -J_

_Helllooooo –A_

_Earth to Peter… -L_

_P –J_

_E –F_

_T –H_

_E –L_

_What's going on? –S_

_R –A_

_Sirius! You messed it up! –A_

_Messed what up? –S_

_Okay, Sirius, don't write for a minute. –A_

_Um, okay. –S_

_Go James. –A_

_Um, okay Alice. –J_

_P –J_

_E –F_

_T –H_

_E –L_

_Can I speak yet? –S_

_R –A_

_Sirius, what the hell? –A_

_Hey, be nice to my, erm… -R_

_I think 'boyfriend' is the word you are looking for. –J_

_-shudders- -R_

_WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, MOONY? –S_

_Oh, um… I'm sorry my… er… _love_… -R_

_You love me! Awwwww! –S_

_ANYWAY… -A_

_Seriously, Alice? –J_

_Seriously. We will do this one more time… or Sirius will get his head chopped off! –A_

_How dare you! –R_

_Quite easily. –A_

_If you hurt him, you hurt me also! –R  
><em>

_This is getting old quickly... –L_

_I. Said. Go! –A_

_Yes ma'am. –J_

_P –J_

_E –H_

_T –F_

_E –L_

_R –A_

_OH MY MERLIN IT IS A MIRACLE! –A_

_Alice, calm down… -F_

_I am calm! Now, why were we doing that again? –A_

_Easy. Peter. –L_

_Peter. –H_

_Peter! –F_

_PETER, ANSWER US! –J_

_You called? –P_

_Finally! –F_

_What? –P_

_Frank says dare. –L_

_What? Oh yeah. Well then Frank, I dare you to break into Hagrid's hut, get Fang and let him loose in McGonagall's office… -P_

_Wow, Peter actually has an imagination. –S_

_You'd best go quick Frank, dinner's almost over and you'll want to grab Fang before Hagrid gets back to his hut. –L_

_Merlin, you're right! -F_

_Erm, Her name is Lily, not Right… -S_

_-facepalm- -H  
><em>

_Well, I know I said quick But I didn't mean sprint down the hall and run into a Slytherin… -L_

_Isn't Frank a blast? –J_

_Um, sure. –H_

_JAMES, ARE YOU REPLACING ME? –S  
><em>

_Sirius, you've _already_ replaced _me_. There is no more replacing to be done. –J_

_I did not replace you! I replaced Hestia. You are my brother, James! –S_

_Sure didn't seem that way this morning… -H_

_Well James, you missed your chance. –S_

_And I am sooo sad about that. –J_

_Do I detect a hint of sarcasm? –S_

_No, Sirius, your sarcasm detector must be off. –L_

_Shame. –A_

_Shall we go back up to the common room while we wait for Frank to return? –L_

_I think that is a good idea. –H_

_Hey guys? –S_

_Yes? –J_

_Can you do me a favor? –S_

_Depends on what it is… -P_

_Can you bring me some food? I had to leave dinner early and now I'm hungry. –S_

_And make sure you bring up some chocolate cake! –R_

_They sure were meant for each other… -sigh- it's so cute! –L_

… _-R_

_Moony… -S_

_I suggest we (all of us but Sirius and Remus) remove ourselves from this parchment until their lover's spat has been resolved. –H_

_I agree completely. –A_

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile…<em>

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Why did he pick dare? Why?

Oh yeah, because Peter was the one that was daring him.

_*Note to self: DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE PETER. He is just as much a Marauder as the other three._

Well damn.

Frank kicked the Slytherin hourglass as he made his way outside, giving himself a sore toe.

Great.

As if things couldn't be worse.

Yeah, right.

Frank considered himself lucky that the creature he had to steal was Fang. If it were Sirius daring him, he might of ended up having to steal Fawkes or something…

Hey, there's an idea!

Frank stored the thought away in his mind, and then continued on down the grounds.

He didn't make it far before he had to duck behind a bush in order to dodge Professor Sprout. He was a seventh year, and so he knew he was allowed outside at this time – it wasn't even seven yet – but there was no need to place himself on the list of suspects when Hagrid tried to figure out who had stolen his dog.

Finally he made it to Hagrid's, then carefully pushed the door open… and was immediately barreled over by a small lump of black fur.

Fang may have a scary sounding name, but in reality he was just an adorable puppy.

If you didn't mind a hyperactive black lump jumping and slobbering all over you, that is.

It doesn't really need to be said that Frank had a hard time getting the dog back up to the castle.

First, Hagrid was walking back down to his hut after dinner. It took everything Frank had to stop Fang from sprinting down the lawn to his master.

Then, when they were about three quarters of the way across the grounds, Hagrid let out a loud yell when he realised Fang was not inside the house.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, if Hagrid had not been yelling Fang's name.

Frank would have just ended the dare then, if he hadn't discovered some chocolate in his pocket. Fang, it seemed, had a sweet tooth. How ironic. Maybe that was why he put up with Hagrid's treacle fudge…

Finally, they made it to the castle doors.

And that was when the _real_ difficulties began, because then there were even more teachers, prefects and a poltergeist to avoid.

Not that Frank did a good job avoiding the poltergeist. Peeves had that knack for showing up when he was least wanted.

Frank and Fang only just made it out of there before Filch arrived. Luckily, Fang seemed just as scared as Frank, so they were able to run with out any hindrances. Actually, it seemed like Fang was towing Frank down the corridor.

Frank only just managed to stop Fang from barreling into Professor Slughorn as they rounded a corner, but, again very luckily, Slughorn seemed to be half asleep and didn't notice that there was a seventeen-year-old boy and a terrified dog hiding in the shadows as he walked past.

It must have been a gift from Merlin that Fang was too scared of Peeves to make a sound.

The rest of the way went fairly smoothly, if you don't count Fang chewing the bottom of a tapestry to shreds when it tickled his nose, and then they finally made it to McGonagall's office.

_Well_, thought Frank, _here goes nothing…_

He pushed the door open, hoping with all his might that McGonagall was not inside, then ran off down the corridor.

He doubled back and went in a circular shape until he was son the other side of the castle entirely, feeling rather proud of his Marauding abilities as it was his first try at something like this, and then began to walk at a normal pace.

To anyone watching, it might have seemed like he was returning to the common room after a evening stroll around the castle from the opposite direction from McGonagall's office.

As he climbed through the portrait hole, he realized just how lucky he had been.

"Ah, the dog-napper returns! How'd it go?" asked Sirius as Frank walked over to where the Seventh years were sitting in front of the fire.

Frank was about to answer, but then he did a double take.

Remus and Sirius were sitting together, in the _same armchair_, holding hands and looking more than a little bit squished.

They were attracting more than a couple of odd looks and giggles from around the room.

"Um, good," muttered Frank, shaking his head, before he took his place beside Alice.

"How do we know you completed the task?" asked Peter, rather rudely. One might think he was hoping Frank could get a chicken.

That may have been the point of the Game, but still. No need to be rude about it.

Thankfully, Alice saved Frank and spoke up.

"What now?"

"Well, Frank has to ask some-one, then they will do their dare slash answer their truth-"

"Wrong," said Lily, grinning.

"What?" asked Remus.

"Frank must ask some-one, yes. But then, all of you have to head down to detention. I believe all of your detentions are at eight? It is already five to, and you have to meet in the entrance hall-"

"Oh no!" wailed Hestia, "I forgot about that!"

"When did anyone ever say our detentions were at eight?" asked Frank.

"McGonagall did at the end of dinner. She said Hagrid had a job which would use a lot of people, so everyone involved in the fight has to come and help. She said it was worth two of the week of detentions, so it must be a big one."

"Uh oh…" muttered Remus.

"Hurry up, guys, we're going to be late!" exclaimed, Hestia, jumping up from her seat.

It was only then that Frank realised she was bundled up in extremely warm clothes. So was everyone else, actually, apart from Lily.

They must be going outside.

Which means…. Oh no. Oh no.

"Come on Frank, hurry up!" exclaimed Alice.

"Sorry, sorry!" Frank hurridly wrote on his parchment, scribbling down the first name that popped into his head.

_Remus, Truth or Dare? –F_

And then he ran out of the portrait hole even faster than he had run out of McGonagall's office not so long before.

Meanwhile, Lily went up to her dorm and lay in her bed, glad that she may actually be able to get some sleep before the other's returned…

"So, I take it you all know why you are here?" asked McGonagall as she looked at the large group of students.

"Because I sang in my beautiful voice," piped Sirius, who was clutching Remus' hand.

"Because I pretty much told Slughorn I thought he was fat," sighed Remus, thinking Sirius was going a little overboard.

"Because some idiot dared me to walk out of Transfiguration for no reason," muttered Hestia, glaring at Remus and Sirius, not really sure who she should blame as Remus had been acting like Sirius at the time.

McGonagall, pretending she didn't hear any of the mutters that broke out, led them to Hagrid's and left them there.

Hagrid was in a bit of a state. Apparently, some one had stolen his puppy - although it seemed Hagrid thought Fang had run away.

_Oops_, thought Frank, while Peter merely grinned as he watched Hagrid try to compose himself.

Frank had to admit, it did look a little funny, but come on… it was Hagrid.

"Righ'… Well, as I told yeh before, Fang somehow managed ter get outta my house. Professor McGonagall heard me tellin' Professor Flitwick an' said she had an idea how to get rid o' some o' the students who got 'emselves a detention. So, yeh'll be helpin' me find 'im."

"You have got to be kidding me," growled Severus. "We have to run around in the dark in the middle of a dangerous forest after mangy mutt?"

"Tha's righ'," growled Hagrid, "An' yeh'll do as yer told or yeh'll go home! How long have yer bin at Hogwarts, Snape? Yeh should know tha' by now."

Snape muttered something unintelligible under his breath but otherwise kept quiet.

"Well, let's be off then." Hagrid strode into the forest, the students trailing after him. He then had them form a line so they could sweep the area while searching for any sign of Fang.

"I love Hagrid and all, but this is absolutely ridiculous," muttered Hestia as she tripped over a tree root.

"I agree," groaned Alice. "Darn Lily, getting to sleep while we are stumbling around out here, looking for a dog that we all know is safely inside McGonagall's office…"

"It isn't her fault," said James, defending his girlfriend. "Just because she is the only one smart enough to not get into trouble-"

"The only one lucky enough to not get a stupid dare, more like," muttered Remus.

Suddenly, a snapping sound came from somewhere in front of them, and the girls shrieked while Frank, Peter and Remus jumped violently. There were similar screeches and yells from down the line.

The Sirius and James, who were used to being in the forest at night and quite a sight braver than Peter, simply rolled their eyes.

"Calm down," came Hagrid's gruff voice. "That wasn' anythin' ter be worryin' abou'. There now, stop screehin', yer migh' attrac' summat dangerous!"

That shut them up. Clever Hagrid.

With another roll of his eyes, Sirius moved forward and reached into a bush about twenty yards ahead of the line.

"Sirius, be careful!" exclaimed Remus.

No sooner than the words were out of Remus' mouth did Sirius yank his arm back, and began to shake it, hopping up and down. As he did so, a streak of black fur darted out of the bush and deeper into the forest.

"Ow, ow, OW!"

"What happened?" asked Hestia worriedly.

"Damn it, but Merlin, that HURTS!"

"What hurts?" asked James exasperatedly. Remus shot him a glare, causing him to roll his eyes. "Come on, Moony, you now that if it was bad he would not be putting up such a performance."

"I'm not putting up a performance!" said Sirius, going back to his mates. "Look!"

He held out his right hand, and the Gryffindors leaned in to see. There was a bite mark along the side of his hand, just below the thumb. It looked like it had barely broken the skin: there was a bit of blood oozing out here and there, but it wasn't too bad. It was going to be one hell of a bruise in the morning, though.

"Lemme see," said Hagrid, walking to Sirius and taking his hand.

Remus considered growling – it seemed like something a… erm, _partner_ would do, but then he decided that maybe that was too much. Hagrid was helping, after all.

"That's a Niffler bite, that is," said Hagrid, examining Sirius' hand. "He wouldn' have bitten yeh if yeh'd kep' yer hands ter yerself. Keep goin', you lot, he could still be ou' here!"

"Oh my Merlin," growled Hestia. "Frank, I swear…"

"Hey, I didn't steal Fang voluntarily, you know," hissed Frank, being careful not to let anyone overhear. "Peter made me do it!"

"You could always turn yourself in," suggested Sirius, still examining his hand. "That way, we could all go to sleep."

"Restart the game, you mean," muttered Alice.

"Well, most of us could go to sleep," corrected Sirius. "Remus is the next one to do a truth or dare."

"I think I know what I am going to pick," muttered Remus.

"Oh Rem!" exclaimed Sirius, "I knew you would pick dare and make me proud! Nice going!"

"Well, actually-"

Remus was cut off as the others started to laugh at Sirius' antics.

"This is so unfair," he huffed.

"Learn to live with it," said James.

"Less than a day to go," chanted Remus, "Less than a day to go."

"Less than a day until what, Remus?" asked Sirius, with his hands on his hips and one eyebrow raised. Frank, James, Alice, and Hestia burst out laughing at the sight of it. Peter was casting furtive glances around, afraid they'd see a centaur. He'd seen one before… nasty thing, it was…

"Well…" stuttered Remus, "You see, it is only less than a day until we leave this forest and we can go back to our dormitory-"

"REMUS! I do not move that fast!" said Sirius, looking horrified. "I may, erm, love you and all, but really-"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Remus. "No, no, no, no, no! I meant we could go back and spend time getting to know each other better!"

"Aw, Remmy, you're so sweet," cooed Sirius, his previous statement forgotten.

"I think I'm going to be sick," said Hestia.

"Me too," groaned Alice.

"Me three," muttered James. "Lets get a move on, shall we?"

The others agreed immediately, and they dragged Remus and Sirius behind them as they hurried off to 'find Fang'.

"You know," Sirius muttered to James, "I could do this so much quicker if I could just transform. I'd find the damn dog in a heartbeat."

"I could find Fang in a heartbeat right now, if I wanted to," James whispered back. "He's back in McGonagall's office."

"So he is," said Sirius. Then suddenly he started to grin.

"What?" asked James.

"Well, you see, when McGonagall goes into her office, she is going to find Fang, right? And then, when she realizes that he isn't in the forest at all-"

"I think that would work," cut in Hestia, "if they thought he was out here in the first place. I mean, there are so many places he could be, anywhere on the grounds. And everybody knows that Fang is a coward. He'd likely stay far away from this place. So why send us in here? I think they are just trying to find a way to get rid of our detentions."

"But if that were the case," said Alice, "Wouldn't they just give us Filch's jobs? He would have to work for a month if they used our detentions that way. It might even work in our favor – he would surely be in a better mood."

"He'd get bored though," pointed out Sirius. "He'd pick on us just for something to do."

"True," sighed Alice. "He does complain a awful lot though."

"I think he's just one of those that are never happy," said Frank.

"Plus," said James, steering the conversation back the way it came, "Why would they count this as two detentions out of our week? We have done plenty of forest detentions and they've never done that before now."

"I think Hestia is right," said Frank.

"I agree," said James.

"It doesn't sound like McGonagall, though," said Alice.

"No, but I think she's a bit stressed right now, what with the fight, Hestia being annoying in class, and not to mention being hung on a chandelier by her tail last night. I would be," said Frank.

"So this is Sirius' fault!" gasped Hestia. "I knew it! Sirius Black, you are going to pay for this!"

"Hey, hey now, calm down," said Remus. "No need to attack him for no reason."

"I know there isn't," hissed Hestia, "But I have a reason!"

"How about you just steal his cloak?" asked Frank, who hadn't had time to grab warmer clothes before leaving the castle. "I'm freezing. It's December for Merlin's sake, and I'm out here in my school robes!"

"Good idea Frank," said Alice, before swiftly casting a tripping spell on Sirius, and then grabbing his cloak from around his shoulders and stealing his scarf as well for good measure.

"Hey! Now that is unfair," huffed Sirius, standing back up. "Just because I came more prepared than he did-"

"Oh, stop being such a baby," muttered James. "You are wearing two of everything apart from a pair of shoes."

"And how do you know that?" asked Sirius, raising his eyebrows.

"He's just that awesome," said Hestia.

"Yeah, he's awesome like me!" grinned Sirius.

"I meant it as a compliment, not an insult," said Hest, and then they all laughed as Sirius pouted in mock hurt.

"Hey!"

"Anyone know the time?" asked Alice suddenly.

"No," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Why would I know the time?"

Alice ignored him.

"Anyone?"

"Eleven," said Frank.

"Man, we've only been out here for three hours," groaned James.

"Only?" squeaked Peter.

"At least now that I'm cold I can't feel my hand anymore," said Sirius happily.

"Shame you didn't wear two pairs of gloves," muttered Remus.

"Oh, come now," said Sirius, wagging his finger and Remus. "You are starting to act incredibly overprotective. I don't like that in a man."

"Learn to live with it," muttered Remus, quoting James from before.

"I don't think I can."

"You'll have to try then. I don't want to be with some one who wants me to change," said Remus, sticking his nose in the air.

"Oh Rem, I'm sorry," gasped Sirius, running towards him. "I didn't mean it!"

Sirius was clearly trying to give Remus a hug, but he hadn't expected a tree root to be in the way. Needless to say he tripped and went flying… right into Remus.

The both of them fell on the ground, one on top of the other.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

"Go to hell, Snivelly," snarled Sirius, getting off Remus and brushing himself off.

A sneer made it's way onto Snape's face.

It didn't really make a difference. It was pretty much a permanent expression anyway.

"I just came here because Hagrid says to tell you that we're heading back. I wouldn't have bothered had the oaf not threatened to tell Slughorn. I won't bother next time."

He turned and left.

Most of them were grateful of this fact.

Sirius was not.

"Let me at him," he snarled, trying to get at Snape while James and Remus held him back. "There is no one here except Hagrid and he won't expel me, come on, let me go!"

"No! Sirius, stop!"

"Oh please, oh please, oh please James?" asked Sirius. He had calmed down a little now, and had stopped struggling, instead turning to begging, "You know you want to!"

"I have a better idea…" James smirked. Sirius' face lit up. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh no…" muttered Hestia. "Here we go…"

* * *

><p><em>A little while later...<em>

"Lily! Lily, come down! You will not _believe_ what we did!" yelled Sirius.

It was one o'clock in the morning, and they had just gotten back from the forest. They hadn't found Fang – obviously – but Sirius' and James' prank was a huge success.

According to them.

It wasn't according to McGonagall who had arrived just in time to see the final product.

"Somehow, I think she will believe," muttered Alice. "I reckon she doesn't think there is anything you guys wouldn't do."

"I wouldn't eat a live house-elf," said Sirius in all seriousness, "Not even for a dare. Not even if it was Kreacher. Especially not if it was Kreacher."

"So you would eat a dead one then?" asked James.

Sirius gave him a blank look.

Alice wanted to ask who Kreacher was, but figured he was the Black family house elf and left it be.

"I know how to wake her up," said Sirius, grabbing his parchment.

"No, don't-" said James, but it was too late.

_Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily! –S_

_What now? –L_

_Didn't you hear my dulcet tones earlier? You have to come down! –S_

_Why? –L_

_Just do it! –S_

_Why? –L_

_LILY! –S_

_SIRIUS! –L_

_Yay, you know my name! –S_

_You are impossible. –L_

_No, I am Sirius! –S_

_And I am asleep. –L_

_No you're not, you're Lily and you are also awake. Don't deny it. -S  
><em>

_Lily. –S_

_Lily! –S_

_LILY! –S_

_Oh this is getting ridiculous. –S_

_Lily, come out now or I will send James up there. –S_

_No you won't.–L_

_Yay, I knew it would work! –S_

_It hasn't worked, Sirius. James can't come up here. –L_

_You wanna bet? –S_

_Yeah. I've seen you slide down those stairs many times. –L_

_When was the last time you saw me slide down those stairs? –S_

_Third year. I figure you were finally smart enough to realize that the stairs wouldn't magically let you go up if you tried enough times. –L_

_Or maybe we were smart enough to figure out how to get up there. –S_

_Yeah right. Boys can't be up here. End of story. –L_

_If you believe that so vehemently, then how did those red roses appear every day for a week around Valentines Day last year? I assume you are smart enough to realize that was James. –S_

_Easy. He had Marlene bring them up – bad choice, I must say, she can't lie to save her life. Even James knows that. –L_

_Did you ask her? –S_

_Yes. –L_

_What did she say? –S_

_No, obviously. But James clearly told her to lie. –L_

_I thought Marlene couldn't lie for her life. –S_

When no reply was forthcoming, Sirius took it as his cue to write again.

_That's what I thought. –S_

_Why can't you just leave me alone? –L_

_Why can't you just come down? You could have been back in bed and asleep if you'd come down when I first asked, you know, Evans. –S_

_I highly doubt it. –L_

_Now that you have realized that James can indeed get into your dorm, should I send him up or are you coming down? Or, if you want, I could come up, or I could send Peter… -S_

_Fine! This had better be good, Black! –L_

_Of course Evans, would I interrupt your beauty sleep for anything less than good? –S_

_Yes. –L_

_So true. See ya in a sec, Evans! –S_

_Whatever. –L_

"So?" asked James.

"She's coming down," answered Sirius, grinning as he rolled up the parchment.

"I know that look," muttered Remus. "You blackmailed her, didn't you?"

"You know you love me anyway," said Sirius, making kissy lips at Remus.

"That is sooo disturbing," said Lily as she climbed down the stairs in her dressing gown.

"You're telling me," said Hestia, shuddering. "We've had to put up with that for the past five hours!"

"I feel your pain," said Lily seriously. Then she turned to Sirius. "So, _Black_, what was so important that you had to wake me up?"

"Oh, just the fact that I made old Snivellus squeal like a little baby girl, _Evans_, and we thought you'd want to hear about it."

"We?" asked James, rolling his eyes. "We who?"

"Why the last names?" asked Alice. "I thought you had gotten past that."

"He was annoying me," shrugged Lily.

"I started it!" exclaimed a pouting Sirius.

"Well, that's not something you see everyday, muttered Frank. And it was true; usually Sirius would be bouncing up and down with a pointing finger claiming some-one else – usually James, Snape, Remus, Lily, Peter, Hestia, Alice or pretty much anyone else in the castle – had 'started it'.

"Wait," said Lily, "What do you mean you made Snape squeal like a girl? What did you do?"

"Well…"

Sirius immediately launched into a 'thrilling' tale involving a vicious monster that attacking him for no reason and scared the living out of everyone else, after which Sirius bravely defeated the snarling creature, causing it to run away in fear, but not before Sirius had gained a valiant battle scar; a dangerous encounter with a huge venomous serpent – about six feet in height - which also ran before Sirius could take a swipe at it; mutiny amongst the ranks as the brave Gryffindor adventurers ganged up on Sirius to prevent him from attacking the viper – not because they thought Sirius couldn't take him, but because they feared too much for their fearless leader as they loved him too much, even though there was no chance that Sirius could possibly be harmed.

Sirius then went on to explain how he and his second-in-command, Lieutenant James Potter, had hatched a plan that they were able to use to teach the cowardly snake a lesson. They stalked around him in the trees, making eerie noises and snapping branches, making him - not to mention the other Slytherins - absolutely terrified. Eventually, they covered themselves in mud, leaves, twigs and feathers and jumped out from behind a tree, causing the serpent to let out a very high pitched and girly-like scream before he ran headlong into Professor McGonagall, who was not at all pleased and gave them all another detention for their efforts.

The adventurers had then returned to their camp victorious, and had proceeded to wake up their home guard – who had fallen asleep on watch, no less – and told her the story of what they had done. Which was what the mighty Sirius was doing right now.

Sirius, somehow, managed to tell all of this with a straight face.

"Well, that was a lovely story," said Lily, her lips twitching, while the others literally all rolled around on the floor in laughter. James didn't even comment on being told he was second in command behind Sirius – the way he had told it was so hilarious he simply didn't care.

"However," continued Lily, "I think story time is over. It's bed time now."

"WHAT? No it isn't!" exclaimed Sirius.

"You're right," sighed Lily. "It isn't."

"You actually agree with me," said Sirius, dumbstruck.

"Yep, I do. It is ONE THIRTY IN THE MORNING, of course it isn't bed time, it's way past that!"

"But… but…"

"Sirius!"

"What?"

"Go. To. Bed."

"But it's already tomorrow!"

"I don't care if it is the day before yesterday! Now march!"

Sulking, with his head hanging low, Sirius stumbled up the staircase, followed by his laughing mates.

Lily, feeling quite proud of herself, went back to bed.

* * *

><p><strong>And I have just realized that there was only one dare in this chapter. So sad. Sorry. I will do better next time, promise. <strong>

**That dare concerning Fang was given to me by PhoenixCall. Thank you very much!**

**Also, I got the structure for Hagrid's dialect from www(dot)fictionalley(dot)org/authors/swissmiss/HTWHD01(dot)html Hope you don't think it is cheating, but I wanted to try and make it as realistic as possible. Sorry if I missed a letter or something. :)**

**One more thing: come on guys, vote on the poll! I want to try and get the whole 'Remus is a werewolf' into the next chapter, but it is tied at the moment. Obviously you don't have to, but I would like to know what you think. The dares have been mainly your ideas. Why not do this too? The poll is on my profile. **

**Thanks again guys, you are all amazing!**


	13. Werewolves and Animagi

**Oh my god, look who's updating! So sorry guys, I've just been having a bit of a hectic time of it at the moment.**

**Thanks sooo much to all you wonderful people who have reviewed and suggested stuff! I got heaps of truths in here, but very few dares as this is a night time one. All you guys that gave me night time dares, they will come in in the next night - I thought this night was already fairly hectic. You'll see why. :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and the truths and stuff were mainly provided by my wonderful reviewers!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

EARLY WEDNESDAY MORNING: Werewolves and Animagi

_Truth. –R_

_If you were stuck on a desert Island with only one friend, which friend would you want it to be? –F_

_Lily, because she would be the most useful in a situation such as that. –R_

_Fair enough. –F_

_Lily, since I know you are already awake by now, truth or dare? –R_

_Truth. –L_

_Which of the Marauders DID you hate the most? –R_

_Did as in past tense? –L_

_Yup. –R_

_James. –L_

_Obviously, I suppose… -R_

_James, since _you_ are now up, truth or dare? –L_

_Truth, for now… -J_

_What was the thought that went through your head when you first saw me? –L_

_Wow, her hair is red! –J_

_Seriously? –L_

_Yep. Keeping in tune with the 'since you are already awake' thing we have going, Sirius, T or D? –J_

_What? I was not awake! –S_

_L said your name. –J_

_L? –S_

_So she doesn't wake up again. –J_

_Ah. Whatever. Truth. –S_

_No! The mighty Sirius Black said Truth? –J_

_Yes I did, thanks for the easy question, James. –S_

_WHAT? That was not my question! –J_

_I don't care. Alice, T or D? –S_

_T. –A_

_Does any one in your dorm sleep talk? –S_

_Yeah, Mary does. You aren't thinking of coming in to listen, are you? –A_

_Course not… -S_

_Sure… Hestia, T or D? –A_

_T. –H_

_How did you feel when Sirius kissed James this morning? –A_

_Gah, stupid charmed to be truthful parchments. I felt jealous at first, then amused. No Al, you are not allowed to comment. Sirius, T or D? –H_

_WHAT? I just went! –S_

_I don't care, yours wasn't a proper question anyway. –H_

_Fine. T. –S_

_Who is your favourite cousin? –H_

_Oh, that's easy. Andromeda. Peter, truth or dare? –S_

_T. –P_

_What were you REALLY doing last Wednesday night? We know you didn't go to the library… -S_

_I was in the kitchen, eating chocolate mousse. –P_

_Oh, really? I was hoping for something more interesting… -S_

_Well hardy ha, ha, ha. Lily, T or D? –P_

_T. –L_

_I'm going to alter R's question… which Marauder do you dislike, as in present tense? –P_

_Um… I think I don't particularly dislike any of you, but since I have to answer I will say Sirius. He is the most annoying. –L_

_Hey! –S_

_Since you're up… -L_

_Oh no you don't… -S_

_Sirius, T or D? –L_

_I hate you all. T. –S_

_Do you really love Re- I mean, R? –L_

_Oh so you save _him_ from waking up… and this is my answer – for the sake of the dare, yes, otherwise, yes I do, but as a brother. –S_

_Good navigation there, Sirius. –L_

_Why thankyou, Lily. Oh, by the way, Lils, stay up for this next one. –S_

_Erm, okay… -L_

_James, T or D? –S_

_T. –J_

_Why on earth did you try and catch the giant squid in our second year? –S_

_SIRIUS! –J_

_What? Just answer the question! –S_

_Because… Lily said she'd rather go out with it than with me. I was eliminating competition. –J_

_James, you are so weird. –L_

_I know… But that was five years ago. I have done worse since then. –J_

_Very true. –L_

_Hestia, T or D? –J_

_T. –H_

_Longest time you have spent in a broom cupboard WITH A GUY, and I don't mean just getting locked in there. I mean being in there and doing stuff. -J_

_Two and a half hours. Sirius, T or D? –H_

_WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? CAN'T I GET ANY SLEEP? –S_

_Um, Sirius? –H_

_Oh, right. T. –S_

_What is the most detentions you've gotten for one thing, and what did you do?__ –H_

_One and a half months of detention for that time J and I set exploding paint bombs throughout the school set at different time intervals and very difficult to locate until they went off. Oh, and they also released a cloud of multicoloured pigeons whenever they went off…–S_

_Oh yeah, I remember that. I was covered in rainbow paint for a bout a week, and I got bird poo all over my bag. And wasn't that the time a pigeon pooed in R's pumpkin juice and he didn't know until you told him afterwards? –H_

_Yes, it was. Ah, good times. Lily, T or D? –S_

_T. –L_

_Have you ever failed anything? I'm curious. –S_

_Yes… three transfiguration essays, one in second year, one in fifth and one in sixth. Alice, T or D. –L_

_D. –A_

_Alright! Yodel at the top of your voice! –L_

Immediately, so that the consequences of her actions did not have time to settle into her mind, Alice let out a loud:

"_YOOOOOOODDEEELLL-AAAAAAAYYYYYY-HEEEEEEEE-HOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Of course, Alice didn't know that Lily had silently cast a sonorous charm on her.

Immediately, everybody in Gryffindor tower was awake and cursing at the top of their lungs.

Well, all of them were awake – only some of them were cursing.

"ALICE!" yelled Marlene. "WHAT ON EARTH?"

"Sorry!" said Alice. "I must have been dreaming!"

"Lily, why?" groaned Hestia, rolling back over to try and sleep.

"Sorry," she chuckled.

Muttering to herself, Alice grabbed the parchment again.

_Sirius, T or D. –A_

_Are you guys ganging up on me or something? –S_

_No comment. –A_

_Whatever. T. –S_

_Worst thing about J? –A_

_Before L was his girlfriend, his obsession with L. Now, his incessant 'we must wake up and four in the morning for Quidditch practice'-ness. –S_

_Uh huh. –A_

_James, you're awake right? –S_

_I am now. –J_

_T or D? –S_

_T. –J_

_Worst thing about L? –S_

Sirius waited a little while, but when no answer was forthcoming, he started to write again.

_James? –S_

_James? –S_

_James, mate, you still awake? –S_

_Yeah Pads, I'm thinking. –J_

_Oh, come on, it can't be that hard! –S_

_Okay then, the fact that she doesn't like orange-upside-down cake. I mean, come on, that stuff is heaven! –J_

_Um, really James? I call your lie! –S_

_S'not a lie, Pads, the parchment doesn't allow lies. –J_

_So true. You are too damn cheesy for your own good. Hey, Frank, you haven't had a shot in a long while… T or D? –S_

_T. –F_

_Do you want to have kids with Alice? –S_

_Yes. –F_

_O ho! –S_

_Stop it with the dirty thoughts. Remus, T or D? –F_

_You asked Remus the last time it was your go! –S_

_Does it matter? –F_

_Guess not. –S_

_T. –R_

_Alright then. Remus, where do you and the other marauders go once a month, and why do you go there? –F_

_Oh crap. –S_

_What? –F  
><em>

_Um… -R_

_Remus, what do we do? –S_

_What? –F_

_We can't lie… James, Peter, get up NOW! –R_

_WHAT IS GOING ON? –F_

_I ask the same question. –J_

_Me too. –P_

_Look up. –S_

_Not up as in at the ceiling Peter, up as in the previous conversation! –S_

_Oh. –P_

_OH. –P_

_Oh, crap. –J_

_My words exactly. –S_

_I PROPOSE A RULE CHANGE! I PROPOSE A RULE CHANGE! –J_

_I second your proposal! –S_

_I third it! –R_

_I fourth it! –P_

_RULE 19: Should a truth question be so incredibly personal that it may ruin the life of the victim – and/or the victims friends - to answer it, they are excused from answering if they have the backing of three other people. –J_

_Aye! –R_

_Aye! –P_

_AYE, AYE, AYE! –S_

_Alice, Lily, Hestia. –F_

_WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FRANK? –S_

_They have to vote on the proposal, right? –F_

_Right… say Aye, come on, say Aye! –J_

_Aye. –L_

_Seriously? –J_

_Yes, a big fat Aye. I am sorry Remus, I know the answer to that truth question. I do not mean to intrude… -L_

_And you still treat me just the same? –R_

_James, Sirius and Peter do. What's the difference? –L_

_I, well… -R_

_Anyway, I say AYE. –L_

_Nay. I want to know what is going on… -F_

_Same here. My boyfriend and my best friend are in on it and they didn't tell me! Of course I say Nay! I feel betrayed and that is no sarcasm whatsoever! So I say NAY! –H_

_Hestia! –L_

_Lily! –H_

_Why would you do that to Remus? –L_

_You are all keeping something from Frank, Alice and me! –H_

_Well I'm sorry, but it was necessary! Have you ever had to keep a secret, Hestia? A secret that was never yours? A secret so important that if you revealed it to some one else, the person to whom the secret belonged would become an outcast, possibly even amongst his friends? –L_

_No. –H_

_Thanks, Lily. –R  
><em>

_No problem, Remus. I wasn't talking just about you though. –L_

_You know all of it? –J_

_All of what? –H_

_Yes. –L_

_And you don't hate me? –J_

_How could I? –L_

… _-J_

_Well, I may have in the beginning, but I came to my senses. You are helping your friend. –L_

_Wow, she does know everything! Who else knows? –S_

_No one that I know of. You know about Snape… -L_

_Yes, the little SNEAK! –S_

_Um, Sirius… -P_

_I know I know, my fault, don't you think I am guilty enough already? –S_

_Well, anyway, Snape doesn't know all of it. Just about Remus. –L_

_Really? Oh, thank Merlin. –J_

_Um, guys – and Lily – we are still waiting on Alice's vote. –F_

_So we are. –L_

_Alice. My life is in your hands, Alice. Please, think before you act. –R_

_Oh, Remus, stop being so dramatic. –H_

_He isn't, Hestia. He really isn't. –L_

_How could it be so important? –A_

_EXACTLY! –H_

_Alice, please! –R_

_Alice, come on, we just want an answer to a question. –F_

_I don't know… they seem awfully serious about all this. –A_

_Alice, you said it yourself. How important can it be? All Frank asked was where they went! –H_

_True. I say Nay. –A_

_NO! –R_

_Alice, what have you done! And Hest, you know that isn't what Frank asked! He also wanted to know _why_ they went there! That isn't the same and you know it! –L_

_I take a chicken. –R  
><em>

_Seriously? –F_

_Seriously. –R_

_Fine then. Your chicken is I dare you to tell EVERYTHING about where you go once a month OR to tell EVERYTHING about where you go once a month OR to tell EVERYTHING about where you go once a month –F_

_WHAT? You can't make them all the same! –R_

_Yes he can. No rules. –H_

_I propose a rule change. RULE 19: When given a chicken, the chicken must have nothing to do with the original dare or truth.–L_

_Aye. –R_

_Aye. –J_

_Aye. –S_

_Aye. –P_

_I am sorry to point this out, but aren't chickens rule free? –F_

_Fine! I propose TWO rule changes! RULE 19: When given a chicken, the chicken have nothing to do with the original dare or truth. RULE 20: All chickens must abide by rule 19; the section in the overview stating that chickens have no rules IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT. –J_

_Aye. –L_

_Aye. –S_

_Aye. –R_

_Aye. –P_

_Just stop trying, guys. Chickens will still have no rules. –F_

_Why, why, why? – S_

_I am sorry Remus, I can only see one way out of this. –L_

_What is that? –R_

_You will have to tell them. –L_

_What? NO! –R_

_No, Rem, look! Read this! Rule __7: Truths can't be repeated to any person not playing. __**Rule **__**7: Truths can't be repeated to any person not playing. RULE 7: TRUTHS CAN'T BE REPEATED TO ANY PERSON NOT PLAYING. **__–L_

_Okay, and your point? –R_

_Even if they don't like what you say, they can't tell anyone. You enchanted the parchment so that they cannot, even at the end of the game, right? –L_

_Right, but I can't risk the spells failing. –R_

_What else can we do? –L_

_Good point. –R_

_We have to tell everything? –S_

_Yes, Pads. –J_

_Oh, Crap. Crap, crap, CRAP! Hestia, please do not hate me after this! –S_

_It can't be that bad. And anyway, you have kept this from me for such a long time… I don't like a lying boyfriend. –H_

_Hestia… -L_

_I'll wait to pass judgement when I see the crime. –H_

_Now you sound like Amelia's dad. –A_

_Ladies and Gentlemen, may I please suggest that we relocate to the Room of Requirement? I think this truth will require a visual demonstration… -S_

_I agree. –J_

_The room of requirement? What on earth is that? –L_

_You'll find out, my dear rule abiding friend, you'll find out. –S_

* * *

><p>"So," said Hestia, crossing her arms, "What is this all about?"<p>

They had just spent the last couple of minutes marvelling at the room that the Marauders had shown them, and it was fairly obvious that the Marauders – and Lily – were trying to stall.

Hestia was not having that.

"Yeah, you do know that you have to answer the question real soon, right?" said Frank.

"I am on a chicken, am I not?" sneered Remus. "Therefore, I do not have to do anything that you say, as there are apparently no rules."

"Come on, Moony," sighed Sirius, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. "Let's just get it over and done with."

"Fine!" snapped Remus. "Fine."

With a huff, he threw himself down on one of the armchairs and then looked at Hestia, Frank and Alice.

"Lets start with you telling us what you know."

"I thought this was supposed to be-"

"But there are no rules," growled Sirius , cutting Frank off. "So tell us what you know."

"I know that Remus leaves at least once a month, and that a couple of years ago – I can't remember exactly when – you guys started to disappear every night that Remus was not there," said Frank in an irritated tone.

"Get on with it already," grumbled Hestia.

Everyone ignored her.

"What have you noticed about the particular time that we disappear?" asked James.

"Nothing," said Alice. She felt really guilty – she was realizing now how serious this situation was, and she was wishing she had given an 'aye' rather than a 'nay'.

"Other than the fact that you leave about once a month," supplied Frank.

Remus sighed, and the Marauders all shared a glance. Then Remus looked Frank in the eye and said:

"What if I told you that you were right, that I do leave around once a month. What if I told you that the time I left had something to do with the moon? What if I told you that my leaving was in direct correlation with the phases of the moon?"

Alice and Frank went pale.

"Oh my Merlin," whispered Alice. Frank was frozen.

Hestia frowned, still not having figured it out.

"So?" she asked. "What's the moon got to do with any of this? Don't tell me you suffer from moon sickness or something." She snorted.

"Hestia, I do suffer from moon sickness," said Remus, staring at her in all seriousness. "Or at least a type of it."

Hestia rolled her eyes.

"Hestia," said Lily. Hestia looked at her. "Hestia… When ever Remus leaves, it always has to do with the moon. If you had paid more attention, like I did, you would have seen the pattern. Every time he leaves, the moon is in the same phase. Every time he leaves, the moon is full."

It was easy for everyone in the room – bar Alice and Frank, who still seemed to be in shock – to tell the exact second when the information clicked in Hestia's mind. Her eyes widened, her skin paled, and her mouth gaped open.

However, just as quickly as the expression appeared, it was smoothed of her face and replaced with a look of pure anger.

"This is what you have been hiding?" she asked. "Remus, you are a werewolf?"

Remus nodded slowly.

"Brilliant," snarled Hestia, "Just brilliant. And you-" she gestured to the other Marauders – "I bet you all followed him one night because you were curious, and he bit you all! This is why you all disappear, what other explanation is there? There are four werewolves running around Hogwarts! Oh my Merlin! How on earth could Dumbledore let this happen! He must be mad, I say, MAD!"

"Hestia, calm down!" cried Lily. "They haven't finished telling you the whole story, yet!"

"What else do I need to know? Oh, oh!" Hestia suddenly went even more pale than before, and her expression went from anger to pure fear. She span around the face Sirius, but backed away from him, heading towards the door. "Why did you say we needed a visual demonstration?" she asked, her voice shaking in terror. "Are you going to bite us too?"

"Hestia!" exclaimed Lily in horror. "How could you? Remus is the same person he was before, only now you know!"

"Yeah," laughed Hestia without humour. "Now I know that the whole bunch of them are lying monsters who wish to rip my throat out! How could you condone this, Lily? How can you stand there like nothing is wrong?"

"The only thing that is wrong in there is room," snarled Lily, "Is that _you_ will not accept my friends for who they are, and that you are acting like an arrogant, prejudiced little girl who can't see past the blinkers that have been placed over her eyes! You used to be a good friend, Hestia, but now I am not so sure anymore!"

Hestia stepped back, and her eyes stung like she had been slapped. Lily almost winced as she saw the hurt on Hestia's face, but when she remembered the way Hestia had been acted, all remorse flew out the window.

"Fine," said Hestia. "I am leaving."

"Hestia!" cried Sirius, "We haven't even told you the whole story yet!"

"I don't care," said Hestia, her voice not deathly silent. "I don't care and I don't want to know. I will continue to play the Game with you because your stupid spells force me to, but other than that I want no more contact with any of you. However, Lily, Alice, Frank, you are welcome to join me when you finally come to your senses, so long as you have the guts to apologize."

With that, she walked out of the door, slamming it behind her.

"Well, that could have gone better," said Peter.

The others stared at him in disbelief.

"I'm sorry."

Everyone looked over at Frank, who was looking absolutely terrible. There was a look of horror on his face, mixed in with guilt and self loathing.

At that moment, he wished more than anything that he could take back the truth he had asked. He wished that he had never asked it… Lily was right. It was _way_ more serious than he could have ever imagined.

"Really," he added.

"It's alright," sighed Remus.

"No, it isn't!" insisted Sirius. "He tried to pry out your deepest darkest secret even when we all tried our hardest to change the rules, and he still fought to cause you pain, Moony! Of course it isn't alright!"

"I didn't know!" said Frank.

"The hell you didn't," snarled James, "You only had to look at Moony and you would have seen how serious this was!"

"I didn't know," repeated Frank. I wouldn't have asked if I'd had any idea…"

"You did though," said Sirius. "That's our point. We _told_ you that you needed to change the truth, but did you? No!"

"Guys, calm down," said Lily. "Frank has apologized, and let's be honest – what more can he do?"

"He can accept Remus for what he is," growled Sirius, "And not tell anyone else. This has already lost me Hestia… I can't believe she would act so… so…"

"I know, Sirius," said Lily, "I didn't think she would either. But she has, and the only thing we can do now is try and help her understand. Knowing Hestia, she'll come around in a little while. I think it was more the fact that we kept it all from her that got to her, rather than what you are."

"Wait," said Alice in a small voice, "So you are _all_ werewolves?"

"No," said James. "We are not."

"So Remus is the only one that turns into a… furry creature every full moon?" asked Frank.

"Not exactly," said Sirius, sighing in defeat. "You see, werewolves are inherently violent beings. They _have_ to have something to attack."

This made Frank and Alice look incredibly confused, so James hurried to explain more.

"Every full moon, Madame Pomfrey takes Remus down to the shrieking shack, where he is isolated from the other students and other creatures. But this means that he has no way to let out his violent urges… other than on himself."

Alice gasped.

"You attack yourself?" she asked in horror.

"Not anymore," said Remus, smiling slightly. "Just wait for the story to end."

"The shrieking shack…" muttered Frank. Then suddenly, comprehension flickered in his eyes. "_You're_ the ghoul!"

"That I am," sighed Remus.

"Anyway," said Sirius, continuing where James left off, "When we found out that Remus was a werewolf and that he attacked himself once a month, we wanted to help in any way we could."

"How?" asked Alice. "Werewolves are incredibly dangerous, there is no way you could-"

"Let us finish!" said Peter.

"It was James' idea," said Sirius.

"What was?" asked Frank.

"Wait, it was _your_ idea?" asked Lily, staring at James.

"Yes?" He phrased his answer like a question, looking kind of scared of his girlfriend.

"That was really clever James," said Lily, and James let out a breath of relief before he grinned proudly.

"And, on we go…" muttered Sirius. James cleared his throat.

"The logic behind it was quite simple, really," he said.

"Logic behind what?" asked Frank.

James ignored them.

"You see… werewolves are only a danger to humans. They do not attack animals, not unless they are in the way of something they want or if the animal attacks first."

"So… what, you transfigure yourselves into animals once a month?" asked Frank.

"Not quite," said James, a rueful smile on his face. "You see, there is one way to be able to change into an animal at will, without the use of a wand or anything like that. This is the one way that will always work without fail, unless there is a preventative spell over you or something like that, so long as you have done it at least once before."

"Oh my Merlin," breathed Alice.

"But… that's illegal," stuttered Frank.

"I told you," said Sirius exasperatedly. "We were willing to do anything to help our friend… and if that involved breaking a few laws along the way, then so be it."

"How long ago was it that you managed this?" asked Frank.

"Fifth year," said Peter, "Though we started doing all the research and stuff in second year after we figured Moony out."

"Fifteen," said Alice with wide eyes. "You were fifteen and you managed to become Animagi."

"So, let me get this straight," said Frank. "Remus is a werewolf, and every full moon he gets taken to the shrieking shack. Then, you guys all follow after him, in… animagus form, and keep him company?"

"Pretty much, yeah," said Sirius. "Phew, I'm glad we got that off our backs, now lets go back to bed!"

"Wait," said Frank. "I have one more question. Remus, why did you let them do this? You know the risks, better than anyone. _How_ could you let your friends do this?"

"I didn't _let_ them," growled Remus, "I was threatened with bodily harm if I even tried to stop them! They were dead set on it, and I figured that if they were going to do it, I would rather help than sit and watch whilst my friends died in an attempt to try and become an Animagus. And they _do_ help. My injures have been a lot less severe since they started to help me – Madame Pomfrey did not know what to make of it. She thinks I am gaining more control over myself, even if that is impossible."

"She is partly right though," supplied James. "You do seem to be more human now then you were in the beginning."

"Gee, thanks," said Remus, rolling his eyes.

"You know what I mean," laughed James, hitting him on the shoulder.

"Well then, Remus," said Frank, "I do believe it is your turn on the truth or dare, then I think I shall go to bed."

Everyone, including Alice, started at him with wide eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"You are good with all this?" asked Lily. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not," shrugged Frank. "You are all the same people that you were before. It caught me off guard before, is all. I am curious for that visual demonstration though."

"Same here," said Alice.

"And here," added Lily. "I have never seen you up close before."

Sirius grinned widely.

"Well, in that case... One visual demonstration, coming up!"

With that, his body started to distort, and changed from that of a human to that of a large, shaggy black dog.

The dog – Sirius – started running around, barking happily and chasing his tail, his mood completely different to before, causing Alice and Lily to burst out in laughter.

"Show off," muttered James.

"What about you?" asked Lily curiously.

"Watch," said James, then his body started to distort like Sirius's had done, only his body changed into that of a majestic stag.

"Wow," said Lily, reaching out to run her hand over his fur. Then, with a mischievous look in her eye, she reached up, took hold of one of his antlers, and shook it.

James danced backwards quickly, glaring at her, and then let out a really odd noise from the back of his throat, causing Lily to burst out laughing even harder than she had been.

"Was that supposed to be a growl?" she giggled.

James gave a 'humph' and turned his head in the opposite direction.

Suddenly, Lily heard a horrible noise come from behind her – a deep, snarling growl that sent shivers down her spine. She turned around quickly to see the huge black dog snarling at her, bearing and snapping his teeth.

Then, just as quickly as it had started, the growl stopped, and Sirius sat down on his haunches, his eyes twinkling in a way that clearly said:

"_THAT_ _is how you're supposed to growl._"

The ridiculousness of the entire situation sent everyone into a series of giggles, and the image of a stag choking out a laugh was so funny that everyone began to laugh even harder, with Sirius barking and jumping about like before.

Once everyone had calmed down, Frank turned to Peter.

"What about you, Pete?"

Peter mumbled something.

"Come on, Wormtail," said Remus, "there is nothing to be embarrassed about. The fact that you became an Animagus is an amazing feat in itself!"

Sirius barked in encouragement, and James nudged Peter with the tip of his nose.

With sigh, Peter began to distort as James and Sirius had, only he shrunk down to a much smaller size and became a rat.

Frank gasped as he took in the sight.

"Wormtail!" he exclaimed. "Those stupid nicknames make sense now!"

"They are not stupid," huffed Sirius after changing back into his human self.

"Remus' nickname was one of the things that tipped me off as to what he was," said Lily, "But I couldn't make heads or tails of the rest of them until I saw you guys headed for the shrieking shack one night during patrols."

"You saw us?" asked Sirius. "Well damn, I thought we were careful."

"Well, it was a full moon, and James had said he couldn't do patrol. I figured it must have something to do with Remus, so… I might have looked out of the window. No one else would have seen, I promise."

James turned back into himself in surprise.

"You only found out this year?"

"Only the Animagi part. I've known about Remus for ages."

James gaped at her, but Lily ignored him, watching instead as Peter turned back.

"So, shall we get on with the game then?" asked Alice.

"Sure," said Remus, incredibly happy that Alice and Frank had accepted him so easily, but very put out about Hestia.

Oh well, it was bound to happen eventually, right? Not everybody was as understanding as his mates were.

Pulling out the parchment and a quill, he went along with the plan the lot of them had devised earlier the previous evening.

_Sirius, T or D? –R_

_I know something is up, why else would you keep asking me? Anyway, let's get back to the dorms first, yeah? I'm really tired._ _–S_

Everyone nodded in agreement, and they all let the room of requirement, which sealed itself shut behind them.

It didn't take long to get up to the dorms and snuggled down in there beds, though Lily and Alice were sad to see that Hestia studiously ignored them when they came in – she was clearly pretending to sleep, as she was breathing too heavily and lying too tense to really be asleep.

Not long after everyone was comfortable, Sirius picked up his parchment, ready for his next challenge.

_Remus, I choose T. –S_

Suddenly, both the girls and boys dorms erupted into laughter. Even Hestia cracked a small smile, though nobody saw.

_What? –S_

_Sirius, you can't pick truth! –J_

_Why not? –S_

_You have done five in a row already, tonight, which means that you have to pick a dare now. –L_

_I KNEW you were all ganging up on me! –S_

_Terrible, isn't it? Now, get on with it! –A_

_Fine. D. –S_

_Ooh, this'll be fun. –R_

_Rem, You know you love me, right..? –S_

_Yeah, but L and J love each other and look at the dares they've been handing out! –R_

_I guess I see your point. –S_

_Hmm… for a dare… -R_

_Remmy-poo, please, I am begging! –S_

_Just for that name, I shall give you a nice difficult one… -R_

_No, please, Remmy! –S_

_You're only making it worse for yourself! –L_

_So true. Fine. Please, REMUS, please give me an easy one! –S_

_What is this, the mighty Sirius black asking to be taken easy on? Never thought I'd see the day! –A_

_Shut up, this is a totally different situation. –S_

_How so? –P_

_I am very tired, and I want to sleep tonight. –S_

_Fair enough. –J_

_Okay, I have thought of my dare! –R  
><em>

_Oh good. Bring it on! –S_

_That's more like it. I was starting to worry that his relationship with Moony had made him go soft! –J_

_NEVER! –S_

_Well, I don't know about you lot but I rather wanted to see that dare… -F_

_Fine, what is it? –S_

_Sirius Black, I dare you to do the entire day tomorrow without any food. –R_

_Oho! Nice one, Rem! –L_

_Love it! –A_

_Three cheers for Remus! Hip hip… -J_

_HOORAY! –L_

_Hip hip! –J_

_HOORAY! –A_

_Hip hip! –J_

_HOORAY! –F_

_Oh, shut up. –S_

* * *

><p><strong>There we are! I hope you d<strong>**on't all hate poor Hest after this!**

**Acknowledgments:**

**- _Wobbly Jelly_ supplied the two truths where Lily was asked who she hated and who she dislikes, as well as Remus' truth about a desert island, and Sirius' truth about which cousin was his favorite.**

**- _PhoenixCall_ and _PeachyKeen13_ both suggested not allowing Sirius to eat for a day.**

**- _PenBeatsSword_ came up with asking Sirius when he got the most detentions and how.**

**- _random4ever_ and _PhoenixCall_ both suggested that Frank ask Remus where he went every month, while you great people who voted on the poll dictated that they would tell everything, and Lily would know everything. Thanks to all you guys who voted! **

**I had fun writing this chapter - however, I did have to restrain myself from making Sirius say: "Worse? how could it be any worse?" after Lily said "You're only making it worse for yourself!"**

**Ah, good times.**

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. Sorry for the long A/N. Keep the reviews coming, and I'll try to write as quick as I can!** _  
><em>


	14. Singing and Snakes

**Hi! My name is Ash, and I'm a friend of the author. She's in Europe at the mo, with limited Internet access, but she's emailed me this to put up. In three documents, I might add, which is why she emailed it to me instead of posting it herself. This is also why it is short, apparently, but I reckon she's just having too much fun to write. Which is generally what people do on holidays, right?**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not owned by the author of this story. :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Singing and Snakes

The next morning Lily and Alice woke up to find that Hestia had already left. Instead of feeling anger, like she had last night, Lil only felt sadness. It was horrible of Hestia to act the way she had, true, but Remus had the worst end of the stick.

The two girls made their way down to breakfast where they sat with the four guys. Hestia was sitting further down from them, picking at her food slowly.

"Good morning!" exclaimed James, enthusiastically throwing an arm around Lily.

"Is it?" she asked, looking sadly across to her friend.

"It most certainly is NOT!" yelled Sirius, causing a couple of people to look their way.

"Why?" asked Alice, looking from his pouting face to his empty plate in confusion.

"This bloody dare," huffed Sirius. "Why can't I eat breakfast? Why?"

"You know why," said Remus, helping himself to an extra large helping of eggs.

"But Remus, I thought you loved me!"

"You were being annoying last night! I'm allowed to have things about you that annoy me, aren't I?"

"Of course you are," said Sirius, in what he clearly believed was a sweet tone. "The person you spend the rest of your life with should not only love you for your strengths, but also for your flaws."

"I am too tired for this!" announced Alice.

"I agree," muttered Lily.

"Anyway," said Peter, "Who's turn is it?"

"Yours," said James, smothering his sausages in tomato sauce whilst being extra careful to make sure Sirius was watching.

"Oh," said Peter, vaguely remembering throwing a hard boiled egg at Mary McDonald a couple of minutes before. He had this knack of repressing unpleasant things… "Right."

_Remus, truth or dare? –P_

_Dare. –R_

"A man after my own heart," sighed Sirius happily, a soppy grin on his face.

_I dare you to give the opposite answer to every question you are asked until lunch.-P_

_But that's mean! –S_

_That's life. –J_

_James, T or D? –R_

_D. –J_

_Answer in nursery rhymes every time you are spoken to until after the first class is finished. –R_

_Why so short? –S_

_It's going to be very… un-annoying. –R  
><em>

_You have to answer questions better than that. –P_

_Sorry. –R  
><em>

_Sirius, T or D? –J_

_D. –S_

_Skip around and sing 'I Feel Pretty' – right now. –J_

_Fine. –S_

Sirius got to his feet, then paused.

"Who will do that bit in the middle?" He asked.

"Oh, don't worry about that," said James, winking.

Sirius huffed and walked out of the great hall.

"What's going on?" asked Alice. "Where did he go?"

"He just wants to make a… anti-climatic entrance," said Remus, shaking his head

"Well you see, there was an old lady who lived in a shoe," said James seriously.

"What?" asked Frank, looking a little freaked out.

"Since I'm _not _half blood, I _don't_ have a T.V, and we decided _not_ to watch this _Pureblood_ movie," continued Remus.

The others nodded, vaguely understanding what he meant, while Peter pouted, annoyed that his dare wasn't living up to expectations.

"Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye," said James happily.

"It was a musical and not really to our taste, but it did have this one some that we thought related to Sirius," laughed Peter.

"Which movie?" asked Lily.

"Westside Story," said Peter.

"Oh yeah, I've seen that," said Lily. Then she burst out laughing. "And I know which song you mean – and the middle bit - but I don't know the lyrics."

James' eyes widened and he pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket.

"Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out!"

Lily took the parchment and laughed again.

"These are the words to the song!"

"He clearly thought they'd come in handy," said Remus, glad his speaking in opposites was only restricted to questions.

Just then, Sirius walked back through the door, waving his wand at something behind him, causing music to flow throughout the hall – but he wasn't just walking normally, he was walking breezily, like he was the happiest person in the world with out anything to bother him.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw Hestia watching, a look of confusion on her face. Clearly she had read the parchment but being a pureblood she had no idea what was going on.

Then Sirius began to sing, causing the entire hall to fall silent. However, that changed with the first words that fell from his mouth, as the hall erupted in sniggers.

"_I feel pretty… Oh so pretty… I feel pretty and witty and gay_!"

"Well, he's got that one right," laughed Frank.

"_And I pity__…__Any girl who isn't me today."_

"Should we have told him to change the lyrics a little?" asked Peter, thinking about how Sirius practically called himself a girl."

"Yes," said Remus with a grin. "We won't change them when we sing them though." He gave the others a wink, and pointed his wand at the parchment.

"_I feel charming__… __Oh so charming__… __It's alarming how charming I feel__,"_

Lily had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing when she saw what Remus had done. It was still the same song, only with subtle differences. Sirius would be singing the song _exactly_ right. Them, however... well the changes were small, but good.

"_And so pretty…__That I hardly can believe I'm real_!"

"Neither can I," muttered Alice.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are," sung James, nodding.

"_See the pretty girl in that mirror there?__"_

"Yep," said Remus.

"_Who can that attractive girl be_?"

"You, Sirius," said Remus, causing the others to laugh. He huffed. He couldn't help it. He had to answer every question… incorrectly that is.

"_Such a pretty face__, __such a pretty dress__, __such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!__"_

"I can see why you thought of Sirius when you heard this song," snorted Frank. "He does spend an awful lot of time by the mirror in the morning, doesn't he?"

"No," said Remus.

"Ring a ring o' roses," said James in agreement.

"_I feel stunning__… __And entrancing…__Feel like running__-"_

"So do I," said Lily.

"_And dancing for joy!__"_

"Hmm, not so much."

"_For I'm loved… By a pretty wonderful boy!_"

"That is so not true," sighed Remus, a fake lovesick expression on his face.

"Hey guys, we're up!" hissed Lily.

"James, you can talk for this," said Remus immediately.

"So can you Moony," said Peter.

Unlike Sirius, they didn't really bother with the singing. They just yelled out their lyrics while Sirius danced in happy circles, a blissfull smile upon his face.

"Have you met my good friend Sirius?" (James)

"The craziest GUY on the block?" (Remus)

"You'll know him the minute you see him" (Peter)

"He's the one who is in an advanced state of shock!" (Lily)

"He thinks he's in love," (Alice)

"He thinks he's in Spain," (Frank)

"He isn't in love," (Lily)

"He's merely insane!" (All)

"It must be the heat," (James)

"Or some rare disease," (Remus)

"Or too much to eat," (Peter)

"Or maybe it's fleas," (James)

They all had a bit of trouble not laughing at that one, but since they were practically choking as they spoke anyway, they decided there wasn't much point.

"Keep away from him," (Alice)

"Send for Chino," (Frank)

Remus made a face. He hadn't been able to change that bit, and it just sounded weird.

Oh well. No one noticed; they were all too busy laughing at Sirius.

"This is not the Sirius we know!" (James)

"Modest and pure," (Remus)'

"Polite and refined," (Peter)

"Well-bred and mature," (Alice)

"Oh you lot must be blind!" (Lily)

"That's the exact opposite of Sirius," she muttered under her breath, setting the others off in yet another bought of laughter.

"Miss America, Miss America, speech! Miss America, bravo, speech!" (All)

"Ah, so sad it's over," said James, wiping away a fake tear as Sirius began to sing again.

"_I feel pretty__… __Oh so pretty__… __That the city should give me its key!"_

"James…" said Remus.

"Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full," sung James quickly.

"That's better."

"_A committee __should be organized to honor me__!"_

"That's a little egotistical, even for a Marauder!" exclaimed Lily.

"Hey!"

"_I feel dizzy__, __I feel sunny__, __I feel fizzy and funny and fine_,"

"Weird combination," muttered Frank.

"Mate," said Remus, "This is Sirius we are talking about."

"Oh yeah."

"_And so pretty__, __Miss America can just resign_! _See the pretty girl in that mirror there__?_"

"What mirror, where?" Yelled James, Remus, Peter, Alice and Frank, realizing their go had not yet ended.

"_Who can that attractive girl be?_"

"Which, what, where, whom?"

"_Such a pretty face__, __such a pretty dress__, __such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!__"_

"It's just so _Sirius_," said Lily, shaking her head.

"_I feel stunning…__And entrancing__… __Feel like running and dancing for joy__! __For I'm loved __by a pretty wonderful boy_!"

And with that, the music ended and Sirius gave a large bow, a smile and wave before prancing back out of the door.

It wasn't long before the sniggering became full blown laughter and everyone in the hall was practically rolling on the floor.

As such, it was easy for Sirius to slip back in unnoticed.

"Did you like it?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Loved it!" Exclaimed Remus. "You were brilliant!"

"Thanks, Rem!" said Sirius, forgetting the dare Remus happened to be under.

"What now?" asked Peter.

"Gee, you have a one track mind, don't you?" asked Sirius, before grabbing his parchment.

_Lily, T or D? –S_

_D. –L_

_ALRIGHT! –S  
><em>

_Uh oh. –L_

_I dare you to put a snake on a leash and take it with you to our next class. –S_

A couple of days ago, Lily would have been yelling about the unfairness of it all and demanding another dare.

Now, however, she merely shrugged and said:

"Sirius will be Sirius."

Her biggest problem was trying to figure out how to get a snake on a leash.

Thankfully, James conjured up a long leash with a tiny collar on the end, before concentrating really hard and saying:

"_Serpensortia!_"

As he was brilliant at transfiguration, he was able to conjure the snake in the exact spot he wanted it, thus having it appear where the leash was so the collar was already around what one could only assume was it's neck.

"Thanks James," said Lily.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," sung James in reply.

"It's time to go now anyway," sighed Alice. "Sirius' performance took up longer than I had thought."

The group nodded and took off towards the dungeons for potions. It was lucky that they had this particular class as Slughorn didn't seem to mind that Lily had brought in a pet carpet python, as he let her get away with anything, as was proved before.

The moment they sat down, Lily pulled out her parchment. She did, however, hesitate before she wrote anything down.

It was wrong to ignore her, right? Even if she was being so, so…

Anyway they couldn't just pretend she didn't exist, like Sirius seemed to be doing.

And if they could only get her to do a dare…

Lily grinned, and pulled out a separate piece of parchment, wrote a note, and passed it James.

Then she wrote on the parchment that mattered, this time with no hesitation.

_Hestia, T or D. –L_

_Humph. T. –H_

Lily decided to go for an easy one, considering.

_What scared you the most when you first came to Hogwarts?_ _ -L_

_The floating candles. I was afraid one would fall and catch the castle on fire. –H_

_Seriously? But you're pureblood! –P_

_So? What does it matter? Alice, T or D? –H_

_D. –A_

_During break, go to Madame Pomfrey and ask for something to help with morning sickness. –H  
><em>

_Um. Okay. –A  
><em>

Sirius was shaking with laughter, but Alice looked like she was about to be fed to a dragon, then burned alive.

Then brought back to life and eaten by a niffler.

A particularly vicious niffler.

_Frank, T or D? –A_

_T. –F_

_Coward. –S_

_Um… most disgusting thing you have ever eaten? –A_

_Um, I'm really sorry Al, but it was your moms chicken enchiladas. –F_

_Oh, burn. –S_

_Actually, I agree with you. –A_

_Really? –F_

_Wait, no. –A_

_I am sorry, though, Al. –F_

_No, I mean it's my Mom's Cordon Bleu. –A_

_Oh. Right. Hestia, T or D? –F  
><em>

_I just went, Frank. –H_

_So? –F_

_Don't think I don't know what you're doing. T. –H_

Lily smiled ruefully. True, it was obvious what they were doing as they had done exactly the same thing to Sirius last night.

But the thing was, there's nothing Hestia could do about it.

_Have you ever dreamed about Sirius? –F_

_Unfortunately. Remus, T or D? –H_

Remus was a little stuck. He did not want to say dare after what happened to Alice, but he couldn't say truth, because his previous dare stopped him from telling the truth… but the charms stopped him from lying. With a groan, he wrote down that dreaded word.

_Dare. –R_

_I dare you to allow me to place a sticking charm on you so that you are stuck to the wall and stay that way for the rest of the lesson. –H_

_Fine… I guess it could have been worse. –R_

_That's the spirit! –J_

"Excuse me, Mr Lupin, but what are you doing?" asked Slughorn ten minutes later. Normally in potions, the students are allowed to stand us and collect things when they wish, but Remus had been standing against that wall with his arms and legs spread for quite a while.

"Well, you see-" started Remus, but luckily Lily had taken pity on him.

Amelia Bones let out a large scream.

"What is going on?' asked Slughorn.

"There was something… something… it felt like a snake!"

"What?"

Suddenly, all the girls bar Alice, Lily and Hestia who knew the snake was not dangerous were all standing on their chairs, and some of the guys looked like they were about to do the same thing.

"A snake?"

"Where?"

"Was it big?"

"Big? Who cares about the size of it, I want to know if it was venomous!"

"Well, I'll just get out my snake encyclopaedia and tell you, shall I?"

"Shut up, Boot!"

"You shut up, Black!"

"Both of you shut up!"

"But there was a _snake_!"

"I've heard that snakes don't like noise…"

"Where did you hear that?"

"Who _does_ like noise?"

"Calm down!" called Slughorn. "Honestly, it's just a- SNAKE!"

Slughorn scrambled behind his desk as fast as he could.

By this time, Remus had regained the use of his hands and began to write.

_James, T or D? –R_

James glanced up in time to see Remus' wink. He caught on immediately.

_Dare. –J_

_You know what I want you to do. –R_

He did indeed.

James smoothly rose from his seat and moved to the front of the class room, taking Slughorn's place.

"Now, now, class, I am _very_ disappointed in you."

Everyone stopped and stared at him incredulously.

"At least, those of you that do charms. Have you all forgotten what our good Professor Flitwick taught you?"

Comprehension showed in a couple of the student's eyes. Lily grinned, and James winked at her.

Lily stood up and moved over to the snake, which hissed at her. Lily grinned.

"_Citatio!_"

Immediately, the snake slithered towards the door.

"Well, I think that's it for this class," said Slughorn, looing a little pale. "There's only fifteen minutes left anyway. Off you go."

Just that that moment, the snake slithered away, heading for the forbidden forest.

"Well damn," sighed Sirius. "If only it left ten seconds earlier, then you could have had a chicken."

"But it didn't," said Lily, waving her wand and causing Remus to slump to the floor. "James, it's your turn."

James nodded.

"The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown, the Lion beat the Unicorn all around town."

_Hestia, T or D? –J_

_T. –H_

_Did you laugh earlier when Sirius was singing 'I Feel Pretty'? –J_

_Yes. Peter, T or D? –H_

_T. –P_

_Do you seriously like your friends? I mean, do they always make you feel welcome? Wanted? –H_

_Not always. –P_

_Same here, what with you guys picking on me… -S_

Lily had a feeling that Peter's answer was more weighted than it seemed, but let it go.

_Frank, T or D? –P_

_T. –F_

_Oh please, I know why you are doing this. –H_

_So? –J_

_Who did you like before Alice? –P_

_Um… Lily… -F_

_No way! –S_

_Yes way. But that was a while ago now. Hestia, T or D? –F_

_Urgh. T. –H_

_What shape does your Boggart take? –F_

_It takes the shape of… -H_

_Go on! –F_

_It takes the shape of my friends betraying me, and telling me they hate me, and always have, and that they wish that I didn't exist and… -H_

_Oh, Hest… -L_

_Don't, Lily. –H_

_But I… -L_

_I said DON'T! Now, James, T or D? –H_

_T. –J_

_Of course. Ha. What was the real reason you asked Lily out the very first time? –H_

_Sirius dared me to. –J_

_What! –L_

_Sorry Lil, but it was after that that I decided I was going to keep asking. –J_

_And Lily, I believe I owe you and apology for that. If I hadn't dared him, you would not be stuck with your eternal suffering. –S_

_Hey! For that – Sirius, T or D? –J_

_T. –S_

_Hmm… what is your least favorite nursery rhyme? –J_

_Oh, that's easy. The Grand Old Duke of York. I absolutely hate it. –S_

_Great! –J_

_Wait, what? –S_

James grinned at his best mate and began to sing.

"The grand old duke of York, he had ten thousand men…"

"No!" cried Sirius. "No, Merlin, I beg of you!"

"He marched them up to the top of the hill and he marched them down again!"

"Help me!"

"And when they were up they were up!"

_Hest, T or D? quick, before I go insane! –S_

"And when they were down they were down!"

_Tru- oh, damn it! Dare! –H_

"And when they were only half way up they were neither up nor down! Hey, what's going on?"

"Sirius got Hest to say dare," sighed Lily, rubbing her ears.

"Yeah, go Sirius! I mean, London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, London bridge is falling down, my fair lady!"

"James, you know your dare ended, right?" asked Remus.

"Um, yes?"

_Alright, Hestia, I dare you to come to the room of requirement and not leave until you have heard our _entire_ story – you know, the one that you missed last night because you were acting so damn angry!_ _–S_

Hestia stared at her parchment.

That couldn't be right. He couldn't do that.

Could he?

* * *

><p><strong>Acknowledgments will be put up when the author gets back because I don't now which dare belongs to who. :D <strong>

**Just let me say this - I have loved this story since I began reading it, so let me thank you while I have the chance!**

**Have a nice day!**

**From Ash!**


	15. Forgiveness and Growing Taller

**You guys have nooo idea how annoyed at myself I am right now. Yeah, I'm glad I've got it up, but look how long it's been! Four months? Man, that's just sad. To make you guys feel better I've written the longest chapter of this story yet - and that's not even including the massive AN at the end.  
><strong>

**Anyways, here you are. And thanks for not giving up on me.  
><strong>

**Oh yeah, and for those who asked, I am going to go through the whole 7 days. It might take while, but I am finishing this.  
><strong>

**By the way, the AN at the end is REALLY long, due to the fact I have two chapters worth of acknowledgments to sort.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J K Rowling does. And my brilliant reviewers came up with the dares! Thanks guys! :D (and, in case I forget, I don't own Romeo and Juliet either.)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON: Forgiveness and Growing Taller

Alice was terrified. Realistically, there was no other way to describe it. You could say she was shaking in her boots, or that she was scared to death. But the simple way to say it – the real way to say it – was that she was terrified.

All those fancy metaphors didn't hold a candle to the way she was feeling.

She glanced behind her to look at Lily, whose sympathetic face was peeping around the corner, looking at her with what she suspected was supposed to be encouragement. At least that was way more supportive than the others. They all looked amused. Boys…

Hestia's face was blank. She was leaning against a wall a little way down the corridor, looking on with indifference.

Alice sighed. You'd think she'd be the slightest bit sympathetic, right? But then again, she'd had a hard couple of days. Even though she had been a bit resentful recently, Alice could kind of see why. Not that she agreed of course.

However, right now, _her_ sympathy for Hestia was at an all time low. Yes, this was a game of truth or dare, but wasn't this a little harsh? Lily seemed to think so.

Steeling herself, Alice turned back to the door, opened it with a shaking hand, and walked into the hospital wing.

The beds were mostly empty, with just one Hufflepuff who had been a victim of the fight the day before, and a Ravenclaw who seemed to have blue skin. Alice tried to cease shaking, and began to walk forward.

"Madame Pomfrey?" Alice asked.

"Be with you in a moment, dear," she called from her office.

"Oh, why couldn't you tell me to leave? Just this once…" muttered Alice quietly.

The sad thing was, even if Madame Pomfrey _had_ said that, she would still have to ask. It was a dare. There were only two ways out… and the more inviting path involved a visit to the Grim Reaper.

"What is it that you need, dear?" asked Pomfrey, wiping her hands on a cloth as she came out of her office.

Alice swallowed, trying to clear her throat. It didn't work. Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow.

"Well?"

"I was wondering… if… um…"

"Yes?"

"If… if you had... anythingformorningsickness ," she garbled in a massive rush.

Pomfrey's eyes widened, and Alice heard a snigger from down the corridor. Why or why hadn't she closed the door? Bloody Marauders. They would all pay for this. Hestia might have been the one to dish out the dare, but those idiots were the ones that came up with the game and, and…

And Madame Pomfrey's eyes seemed to be popping out of her head.

"I'm sorry," she said, giving her head a shake. "Could you please repeat that, Miss Prewett?"

"I was wondering if you had anything to help with the effects of morning sickness," said Alice, more slowly this time.

Madame Pomfrey's eyes stayed where they were meant to this time, though she seemed unable to decide which emotion would be best shown on her face. She seemed to be shifting between disappointment, surprise, sympathy and, surprisingly, wonder. She continued to stare at Alice for a while, before she sighed, and walked back into her office.

"Well," muttered Alice. "That went well."

Not long later, Madame Pomfrey came back holding a steaming goblet. How on earth she made whatever was in there so quick Alice didn't know, but she was grateful. This seemed to show on her face as Madame Pomfrey smiled at her – once again sympathetically – however, she didn't seem to understand the reason behind that gratefulness – that Alice only wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Drink this," said Pomfrey, handing Alice the goblet.

She quickly drank it all, surprised that it actually tasted nice – a mixture of ginger and licorice that, while sounding weird, was very pleasant on the stomach.

"Some of that each day should help to settle you stomach," said Madame Pomfrey, reverting back to her usual professional demeanour.

"Thanks heaps," said Alice, handing back the goblet and moving towards the door.

"Oh no you don't, young lady," said Pomfrey. "Come back here."

Hanging her head in recognition of her doom, Alice slowly trudged through the proffered door of Madame Pomfrey's office.

* * *

><p>"She's taking a really long time in there," whispered James.<p>

"Do you think she's dead?" Sirius whispered back.

"Should we ask Poppy if she wants help with the body?"

"That's probably a good idea..."

"I'll get the acid."

"I'll get the – hey, I normally get the acid!"

"Get something else then."

"Fine. I'll get the coffin."

"You want to carry that?"

"FINE! A body bag."

"Uh, if she's been liquidized by acid, we're not going to need a body bag, genius."

"True that. Righto, I'll be bringing a cauldron."

"A cauldron?"

"Yup, a cauldron. I think that'd be a great disguise for Alice's liquidized remains. I can see it now – '_Alice Prewett = the new amazing potion that can cure all acne problems!_'"

"Sorry Sirius, but I wouldn't want to put a liquidized Alice on my face."

"Have you seen some of the stuff the Muggles use? Urgh. I'm sorry, but even the _thought_ of it makes me feel ill. I'd rather have liquidized Alice on my face than cr-"

"Shut it guys," hissed Lily. Sirius pouted, while James did a dance inside his head. He _knew_ Lily would take longer than thirty seconds to tell them to shut up! Sirius was definitely underestimating her ability to be fun these days.

"Pay up," he whispered, holding out his hand. Sirius grudgingly passed over a galleon.

Remus rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what his friends had been up to.

"Here she comes now!" exclaimed Peter, pointing around the corner.

From further down the corridor Hestia rolled her eyes as the six of them stuck their noses around the corner as they tried to get a view of Alice's pale figure as she seemed to trip out the door and stumble towards them.

"How'd it go?" asked Frank the moment Alice reached them.

"Never," muttered Alice.

"What was that?" asked Frank.

"Never…"

"Yes?" asked Peter, leaning in expectantly.

"Never what, Alice?" asked Lily.

"Never, ever make me do that again!" she yelled.

Then Alice marched down the corridor, leaving her friends standing stunned. It took them a couple of seconds before they jumped to and ran after her.

"Alice, come on Alice," said Frank. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad?"

"Humph."

"Come on, Alice," said Frank.

"Yeah Alice," said Sirius, "At least tell us what her face looked like!"

He received several glares.

"Alice," said Lily. "Think about some of things we've had to do. Surely it wasn't as bad as when Frank stole Fang?"

Alice gave Lily a withering look.

"Well, okay, I'll give you that. How about when Sirius sung in the Great hall this morning?"

This time, Alice's look was disbelieving.

"Okay, okay, I get your point there. It is Sirius, after all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Shut up, Sirius. Okay Alice, how about when Remus stole McGonagall's hat?"

Alice opened her mouth as if to speak, them closed it again. She had to admit to herself that she'd rather face an out of control Madame Pomfrey talking about raging hormones than a Professor McGonagall raging about out-of control prefects.

"Okay, fine," she said with a sigh. "It was still pretty terrible though. I mean, come on, she thought I was pregnant!"

"Well, yeah, I'm guessing that was the whole point," said James, grinning.

"She was going on and on about how I should have been more careful, but that it was too late for that now, and that there was the option of abortion if I really wanted that and if I thought the baby could seriously affect my studies, but that she strongly disapproved of that, and then she went on about how I would react to this and that and how I would need my friends for support and how I should talk to McGonagall about this and how she was there to help whenever I needed or if I felt I needed some vitamins or whatever, and also that I should talk to the baby's father and how I needed to sort this out with him because this would affect him just as much as me and how-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Sirius. "Slow down there. It may sound bad, but hey, it's over. Time to move on, girl."

Alice wasn't so sure about it being over, but decided not to press the matter for the sake of her own sanity.

"Can we head to the kitchen now?" asked Peter. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving."

"Yeah, okay, but, are we going to head for the Room of Requirement or not? I believe our dear Hestia's dare is well over due," said James.

Everyone seemed to sigh at the same time.

Hestia.

This was going to be difficult.

* * *

><p>Hestia stood in the room leaning against the wall, arms crossed, blank expression on her face, her foot tapping. She had this all planned out. She would listen to their story, nod like she believed it all, and play their stupid game to the end. Then, once this ridiculous week was over and done with, she would disassociate herself from this menagerie of magical creatures and deranged humans before she was permanently damaged. Surely she could survive one week with four werewolves, if she was careful? It wasn't supposed to be full moon for another two and a half weeks at any rate. So if she was really, <em>really<em>, careful…

If she were being honest with herself, Hestia would have to admit that was not completely confident in her own thoughts. In fact, her mind was slowly but surely heading in a different direction.

What if Remus wasn't a monster? She had known him for more than six years now… and had he ever tried to attack her with anything other than tomato soup and terrible puns? She could hardly imagine Peter hurting anything other than chocolate pudding. And James may be crazy at times, but he never hurt things on purpose… except perhaps Snape. Sirius she wasn't so sure about… she had seen his… ah, more _violent _tendencies. But they hadn't hurt her in all the time she knew them, so why would they now?

If Hestia were being honest with herself, she would have to admit that the only reason she was spiteful about this in any way was because they hadn't told her.

Unfortunately, Hestia wasn't being honest with herself. She was being downright unreasonable and stubborn and normally she would have recognised this but… well… she was being unreasonable and stubborn.

After a time that seemed much longer than necessary to walk from the hospital wing to the Room of Requirement - Hestia would know, having walked from there herself – the other seven players of the game walked into the room bearing cream puffs and chocolate éclairs and laughing like they were walking into a party as opposed to a talk with a severely dispirited friend.

A frown appeared on Hestia's face as she stood against the wall, waiting for someone to notice her.

"Hey, what is with this room?" asked Sirius, looking at his surroundings for the first time. "It's all dark and spider-webby and stuff."

"I thought something like this would create the perfect setting," said Hestia in an emotionless voice. "You know, monsters and all that jazz."

"Hest…"

"Don't start, Lily." Surprisingly, it wasn't Hestia that interrupted, but James. He sighed and took Lily's hand, ashamed that he had caused at least a part of the hurt in Lily's eyes, but still not willing to take back what he said nor what he was about to say. "Let her listen first. Let her understand everything. Let her hear the _whole_ story before she decides how she's going to react. We can't do anything until she knows the entire truth."

Lily nodded and pulled James over to one of musty couches, sitting down and causing a huge cloud of dust to rise from the moth eaten fabric.

After a couple of bouts of dramatic coughing from Sirius and a lot of real coughing from Peter, everyone was settled and staring at Hestia, who was still against the wall.

She was getting more than a little impatient, so she decided to break the silence.

"So."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. James leant back, Remus leant forward and he was the one who spoke.

"So."

"How are you planning to do this?" asked Hestia. "Strap me to the wall? Freeze me? You can't force me to listen you know."

"I know," said Sirius, "But according to game rules it's this, or a chicken. And lets be clear on this – if you pick chicken, you _will_ be getting strapped to the wall."

Hestia let out a noise that was pretty close to a growl.

"Go on then," she snapped. "Amaze me."

"Fine," said James. "Prepare to be amazed."

With that, he stood up from the musty couch and began to transform. When Hestia saw what he was doing, her eyes widened in fear and she immediately reached for her wand.

"What…" she muttered. "No, he can't… it's not even full moon…"

"Exactly, Hestia," said Sirius. "It's not full moon, and yet James is still able to transform. He can change _at will_. Come on, surely you can remember back to second year Transfiguration? Tell us, what is he?"

Hestia was stunned.

"Come on Hestia," taunted Sirius. "Surely you aren't so stupid that you can't remember."

"Animagus," whispered Hestia.

"Well done," said Remus dryly. "Three cheers for Hestia."

Next, Peter stood up and transformed, and then so did Sirius. Hestia was by this time staring at them with a gaping mouth.

"You're all… but I thought…"

The three boys changed back, and then sat back down. Hestia stood where she was for a moment, then lurched forward.

"Tell me," she demanded. "Although, am I right in assuming that you three are illegal?"

"Yeah, you would be," said James. "But, we had good reason."

"Tell me," she repeated, more forcefully this time.

And so they did. The four boys explained everything just the same as they had for Lily, Frank and Alice. Lily didn't even need to use the silencing charm she had been planning on – Hestia did that herself; the shock of seeing James turn into a stag seemed to have knocked some sense into her and helped her realise that it would be smarter to wait until she had all the facts before she made a decision.

The explanation went on for a while – the group was definitely missing their History of Magic lesson – but nobody mentioned that fact. They were all too busy hoping that Hestia was buying the story… and it seemed that maybe, just maybe she was.

"So…" said Hestia once the boys had finished. "You did all that… to help Remus?"

"Yes," said James.

"And Remus has never harmed anyone?"

"Well, you know, accidents do happen," said Sirius, "But nothing major."

Hestia nodded, then sighed and looked down at her hands.

"Look guys, I'm really sorry. I should have just heard you out before I-"

"Yeah, you should have," muttered Peter.

"Before I came to any stupid conclusions like I did. I'm still not one hundred percent happy with being in such close proximity to a werewolf, but so long as I don't get asked to help you out during full moons-"

"We would never," said James.

"Like we want you with us anyway," muttered Peter.

"And why are you so worried about Remus as he is?" demanded Sirius. "He's never hurt you before, so why is it any different now?"

"I guess," said Hestia. "Guys, you have no idea how sorry I am."

"Oh, I think I do," said Frank.

"Really," she insisted. "I don't expect you to forgive me right away, it's just…"

"We know, Hestia," said Lily. "We know."

"You might," said Peter, "But she's still insulted Remus way past what should be tolerated, and I think that-"

"Whoa, there Pete, slow down. I think this has gotten way too doom and gloom for my taste. Chuck us an éclair, will you?" said Sirius.

You could almost feel the tension leaving the room as Sirius broke the depressed atmosphere. Lily hopped of the couch and gave Hestia hug, and was quickly joined Alice.

"Ah, ah, ah," said Remus, winking at Sirius. "I'm terribly sorry, _dear_, but I believe that you are not to eat anything for the rest of the day."

"What? Are you KIDDING?"

"Fortunately, no."

"Fortunately? Remus, I thought you loved me," sniffled Sirius.

Remus patted Sirius' head.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I think we had better get to class," said Lily, moving away from Hestia.

"I agree," said Remus.

With a groan, the rest the group followed Lily out of the door. However, one remained and pulled Remus back.

"Remus, hang on a moment."

"What do you want, Hestia?"

"I really am sorry. I-"

"I know that. I understand that you see me as a monster, and that nothing can really change that. But you _have_ to understand that I never wish to hurt anyone, least of all my friends. You heard what they said earlier – I didn't even _want_ them to be Animagi in the beginning, even if it would help. I didn't want them to get hurt."

"I know, Remus," said Hestia. "I undertsnd. It's just that, well, even if you are a nice enough person most of the time, werewolves are known to be out of control and bloodthirsty. I'm just afraid that-"

"Hestia Jones," said Remus. "I know what werewolves are 'known to be like' more than anybody – I am told by other more than enough, and it would seem that you are no exception. Like most species of magical creatures, if there are just a few that have no will to minimize the harm they cause and actually enjoy killing, they overshadow the peoples view of the rest of us that actually do care. Yes, I know Fenrir Greyback is the most well known living werewolf, and I know that there are many who believe he has the right idea. But I think that if you look hard enough with an open mind, you would find that there are many of us out there that are trying our best to regain our humanity and keep our _monstrous_ side away from people that we could harm."

"But still, accidents can happen-"

"Yes, they can. But do you think Professor Dumbledore would have allowed me to come to this school if there was even the slightest chance of something going wrong?"

"Well, many people say he is barmy-"

"Really, Hestia? Think about it. Tell me the truth."

Hestia sighed, and let her breath out in one big gush.

"No. No, he wouldn't."

"Exactly. Do you trust his judgment?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, there you go. As I said before, I do not expect you to forgive me for what I am… my kind is displayed as a monster so often that people's minds become inundated with the negatives. I _know_ how lucky I am to have such great friends that they don't care about my lycanthropy. They only care about who I am. There are very few people in the world who think like this, and I am not blaming you for being one of them."

"Remus, I-"

"No, Hestia. I am glad that you can accept my friends for what they have done, and I don't expect anything less."

With that, Remus went out of the door.

Hestia sighed and then followed behind him, thinking how ironic Remus' little speech had been, considering that only a few minutes before Sirius and James had been insisting that you should judge a person by who they are and what they have done, rather than what they are.

* * *

><p>"Can't… Make it… too… low… on… fuel…"<p>

Several students we staring at the spectacle on the steps leading up to the entrance hall from outside. Most of them were laughing.

Sirius Black was lying – yes, lying – on the stairs, trying to pull himself up them with his hands, groaning about stomach pains. The sight was even enough to break Hestia and Remus out of their sullen moods that had continued all through Herbology.

"Outside of… Physical boundaries… must… have… food…"

"Oh, shut up, you," said James, going up the steps and giving Sirius a 'friendly' kick as he went past.

"James! James, mate! You're my friend, right?" called Sirius, seeming to forget about his inability to speak without pausing.

"Sometimes I wonder."

"James, you'll get me some food, right? You'll bring me something!"

"Uh, no."

"Oh come on! Alright, what if I said I'll lay here until you do?"

"Would he really do that?" asked Lily.

"Lil, this is Sirius we're talking about," said Remus.

"Oh yeah. Right."

"Please! Someone take pity on a starving soul!"

"Sirius, you do realise that if you eat some food you'll have to take a chicken, which would end up being about a million times worse… you never know. After that you could end up without food for the rest week," said Frank.

"Ah, my dear amateur. Then I would simply keep eating until the end of the game when I will no longer be bound to any dares!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Don't you remember the last time you tried that, Sirius?" asked James.

"Yeah, or the time before that," said Remus.

"Or that time before that," said Peter.

"Oh. Right…" said Sirius with a frown on his face.

"Hey look you guys," said Remus, "After six years of trying to get out of difficult dares by ignoring them until the end, Sirius has finally learnt his lesson!"

"We should throw a party," said James seriously.

"Oh, definitely," said Remus, nodding. "We'll do it tonight… and we'll make sure there's plenty of food…"

"No way, _no way_ you guys, you can't do that to me."

"Shut up Sirius, and get up the stairs. For Merlin's sake…" muttered Alice.

"No!" cried Sirius. "I have no energy!"

"Fine!" yelled Alice, pulling out her parchment. "You know what? Fine. I'll waste my turn, just so you can _move_ the hell out of my way! There is no chance I'm going to-"

"Alice, calm down," said Remus. "He won't do anything to you if you just walk past nicely. Will you, _darling_?"

"Of course not," said Sirius in a sweet voice, but the moment Remus turned away he made a face.

"There you go," said Remus. "Now, lets go get some lunch!"

Alice, Frank, Remus, Peter and Hestia all ran up the stairs to join Lily and James – careful to avoid Sirius – and were closely followed by the other students who were all waiting for Sirius to move.

"Hey!" yelled Sirius. "Hey, don't go without me!"

"We would never," called Hestia. "Unless, that is, you don't move in the next five seconds."

"What? Come on, that's mean!"

"No it's not," said Lily. "I'm hungry. You keeping me from my lunch – now, that's mean."

"But I can't even have lunch!"

"And how, exactly, might that be our problem?" asked Alice.

"You girls are really mean to me," muttered Sirius.

"I know," said Lily.

"Come on girls, lets go," called Frank.

"Coming!" answered Alice, and with one final laugh at Sirius, the seven of them walked through the entrance hall and into the great hall for lunch.

"No, guys, wait for me!" yelled Sirius, easily jumping to his feet and running after them. "Guys, wait up! Don't leave me alone! The Slytherins are coming, the Slytherins are coming!"

"Oh, shut up Sirius," said James as he sat down, piling Yorkshire puddings onto his plate. "Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

"But they _are_!" exclaimed Sirius. "They _stalk _me, I swear!"

"Why would they stalk you, Sirius?" asked Peter.

"Why, because I'm so pretty of course!" exclaimed Sirius.

Obviously, this caused everyone to burst out laughing, but Sirius, who seemed on the slow side today – probably due to the lack of food – didn't get the joke.

"What?" he asked. "Do you think I'm not pretty?"

"Sirius," laughed James, shaking his head. "Just stop talking."

"Why? All I did was say that I looked pretty! What? Why are you all laughing at me? Seriously, guys – no, really. I mean it, I – STOP LAUGHING! Okay, whatever. Alice, I thought it was your turn with the dares and whatever," said Sirius, fishing for a way to help his friends breathe.

"Okay, okay," said Alice. "I'm getting there, keep your amazingly primped hair on."

"It is pretty amazing, isn't it?" asked Sirius, running a hand through his hair much like James, and then letting it fall back into place.

Alice shook her head in amazement at Sirius, and then pulled out her quill.

_Remus, T or D? –A_

_D. –R_

_Love ya, Remus! –S_

_Um, I uh, love you to, Sirius. –R_

_-swoon- -S_

_Er, right. Remus, I dare you to complain to everyone you see about your 'time of the month' until the end of the next class. –A_

"Bloody hell, Alice!" yelled Sirius.

"Excuse me?" asked Alice.

"You can't expect Remus to talk about that! Do you not understand how important this is? Remus will get shunned by the whole school! People might attack him! He might even get chucked out! Is that what you want?" By the end of his speech, Sirius had dived across the table and was shaking Alice by her shoulders.

"But Sirius-" she said.

"But Sirius nothing! I don't want to see my best mate become labelled as a monster! I don't want-"

"Sirius, it'll be no worse than what you did this morning," said Lily. "You know, the song?"

"No worse? Lily, it'll be a hundred times worse! Remus could be… he could… they'll…"

"Sirius, calm down," said Remus with a chuckle. "Honestly, it's nothing worse than what you've made me do in the past…"

"Are you talking about that incident with Snape? Oh Remus, you know I'm sorry about that, I've said it a million times, I'll never be able to make that up to you. But this is… this is… and we thought Frank was bad last night…"

By now, the entire group was laughing at Sirius's misinterpretation. Even Remus. He would take Sirius acting as fool for payment for a dare any day.

Well, most days.

It would depend on his mood, the size of the fool Sirius was making and the type of dare.

And of course, if chocolate was involved.

But he had to do this dare either way, and this was definitely making it worth it.

Ah Sirius. Great source of entertainment. If Muggles had one each, he'd put the TV industry out of business! Then again, those Muggles would probably all commit suicide after a little while…

And Sirius was still raving about how stupid Alice was and how she had to change the dare. It was amusing, yes, but once they had all finished their lunch they decided that maybe they should let him off the hook.

"…and you guys aren't even doing anything about it! Remus, how can you just sit there and eat? Well, okay, I know I wish I was eating right now, but that isn't the point! Why can't you just-"

"Sirius, she never said 'furry little problem'," said James. "She said '_time of the month'_."

"But that's the same thing," said Sirius. "I mean, that's what we say when it's around full moon and he get's all cranky, just like a girl when she's… when she's… Ah, hell."

"And finally he gets it," muttered Hestia, putting down her fork. "Well, I'm done. Who's up for charms?"

"Yep, let's go," said Lily, grabbing Alice and Hestia and pulling them towards the door.

"Well, we'd better follow them," said James, then he, Remus, Peter and Frank got up and followed after the girls, once again leaving Sirius behind.

"But…" he muttered. "But that's just… no… they wouldn't do that to me… would they? No… Remus… no… lack of food must be getting to my brain…"

* * *

><p>"… and it just <em>hurts<em>! Not only do I get cramps leading up to it and afterward, but it hurts like nothing else while it's going on," said Remus. Needless to say, he was getting a couple of odd looks.

"Really?" asked Lily, half interested, half sympathetic. "What about, you know, in the middle?"

"I don't know," said Remus, groaning. "I sort of block that bit from my mind."

"How horrible," said James in an indifferent tone.

"Don't patronize me, Prongs," said Remus. "Do you have any idea how often I have to go through with this?"

"Well-"

"Once a month! Sometimes, if I'm really unlucky, twice a month! Do you know much that is? That's twelve times a year! In one year, I have to go through that pain and suffering and emotional distress _twelve times_ – sometimes more – and then-"

"Okay, okay," said James, holding his hands up in the air. "I surrender. You win."

"Good," said Remus.

Once they were all settled into their seat, Remus pulled out his parchment.

_Lily, T or D_ _–R_

_D. –L_

_Tell Professor Flitwick that he's short, and then tell him different ways that he can grow taller. –R_

_Ha! Good one Remmy! –S_

_Thankyou, Siri, and it's great to see that you have joined us once more. –R_

_Yeah, sitting at the table with all that food and not being able to eat it was doing weird things to my brain. –S_

_Amazing. I didn't even know you had one. –A_

_Oh, snap! –H_

_Hey Lily, you okay? –F_

_She's doing that 'stare at the parchment in shock' thing again. –P_

_You know, I think that if you'd told her to give dieting techniques to Slughorn she'd have been fine… -A_

_Yeah, it's just 'cause Flitwick's her favourite teacher. –J_

_Okay Remus, I'll do it. –L_

_Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up there. What's this? He didn't even ask you to do it yet! –S_

_Um, yes he did. When he dared her. –F_

_No, I mean the secondary asking. The whole '_no, I don't want to'_ and then the _'but you have to! It's a dare!'_ thing. –S_

_Oh. Yeah, what did happen to that? –H_

_Well, I calculated the consequences of doing the dare and contrasted them to the consequences of not doing the dare until I came to a logical solution – That doing the dare is much more profitable than not doing the dare. –L_

…_-P_

_Okay, I read that like three times and I still don't understand it. –S_

_You don't understand anything that involves the slightest bit of thinking. –A_

_Thinking is a dangerous pastime for me. –S_

_Touché. –A_

_Um, what? –S_

_Never mind. –A_

_Oh, look guys, there she goes! –J_

"Um, excuse me, professor Flitwick?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Have you ever noticed that you're, um, kind of short?"

_And there he blows! –S_

_Don't you mean she? –F_

_No, he. Flitwick is the one that's going to blow his top. –S_

_Oh yeah, very original Sirius. –H_

_Why thank you! –S_

Sirius was wrong though – Flitwick didn't 'blow his top' – he just seemed rather unsure of what to say.

"Why my dear, of course I have realised that I'm short – I mean, well, of course. Why do you ask?"

"You see, I was just wondering if you had ever thought of doing something about it."

"Well, I mean, I don't see any good reason to-"

"You know there is this potion – Professor Slughorn showed it to us the other week – it can make a person grow the extra couple of inches – ehem, I mean, feet – that they need to maintain a good height!"

"My dear, I honestly-"

"And there's a spell that I saw in my transfiguration textbook – _Procerioro_ – that can make people grow. And you can control that one! You see, the potion makes you become six feet every time and-"

"Miss Evans, I really don't think-"

"And the Muggles used to have this amazing invention back in the middle ages. They called it the rack. You see, what you would do is lie down on the device, then your hands and feet would be tied and then you would get stretched! Cool huh? I bet a heaps of people came off those racks a lot taller than they were beforehand-"

"Enough!"

Lily kept quiet this time. She had completed her dare, at any rate.

"Miss Evans, I am not one hundred percent sure why you have decided to tell me that I need to grow taller – which I do not, by the way, as there are plenty of advantages to being short – but I have noticed that these past couple of days this class has been acting very strange indeed. And so, I'll let it pass with only five points deducted from Gryffindor for disruption. Do you understand?"

"Yes professor," sighed Lily. "Sorry, professor. I was only trying to help."

With that, she walked back to her desk, head hung in 'shame'.

_Great job, Lily! The rack was a nice touch. –R_

_Yeah, I thought so too. –L_

_So, you gonna dare someone? –S_

_Enthusiastic, huh? –L_

_This class bores me. –S_

_Fair enough. –L_

_Are my eyes not working, or did I really just read Lily agreeing that class is boring? –H_

_Boys, I think you may have done permanent damage to our Lilikins. –A_

_Damage? This is a great improvement! James, a high five is in order! Now! –S_

_Oh, ouch, that must have hurt. –F_

_You got that right. Man, my back! –J_

_My head! –S_

_It's your own fault for trying to high five over the top of Moony and past the aisle. –P_

_Oh Peter, when did you get to be so wise? –S_

_Oh, I've been wise for a long time. You never noticed. –P_

… _-S_

_Kidding. –P_

_Oh. Right. Okay. LILY! DARE! –S_

_Okay, okay. Merlin. –L_

_Lily… -S_

_Sirius. –L_

_YES! –S_

_D or T. –L_

_NO! –S_

_What? –L_

_I just did one! –S_

_Did you? Really? –L_

_Erm… -S_

_Thought not. Now Sirius…. –L_

_-gulps- Yes? –S_

_ANSWER ME! –L_

_I DID! –S_

_YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! –L_

_Okay fine. Dare. –S_

_Finally, I thought we were never going to get there! –F_

_Shut up, Frank. –L_

_Sorry. –F_

_Hey Lily… -H_

_Hestia, I swear… -L_

_Oh, never mind then. –H_

_That's right. Anyone else? –L_

_Nope. –J_

_Good. Sirius Black, I dare you to turn all – and I mean all – the Slytherin's robes hot pink. –L_

_Seriously? That's it? –S_

_Well, I'm bored. –L_

_Sweeeeet. –S_

_You're welcome. –L_

_Is there a time limit? –S_

_Just get it done before the end of classes. –L_

_ Awesome. –S _

_So unfair. He actually _likes_ dares, and he got the easiest one? –H_

_I think it's fair, considering he's off food for another couple of hours. –R_

_Hey Rem? –S_

_Yeah? –R_

_Love u. –S_

_Aww really? That's so sweet! –R_

_I know right! It's my favourite vowel. –S_

… _-R_

_I would say it's favourite letter, but you know… 'S' is my favourite letter, hands down. 'S' for Sirius, 'S' for shampoo, 'S' for Sirius, 'S' for sugary goodness… -S_

'_S' for Slytherin… -J_

_No! My beloved letter 'S', how can you betray me like this? Nooooooo! –S_

_Well, at least we know Sirius is back to normal. –H_

_Kill me now. –F_

_Gladly. Frank, T or D? –S_

_T. DEFINITELY T, especially considering you're the one handing out dares. –F_

_Um, excuse me? –S_

_Just get on with it. –A_

_Fine, oh high and gracious princess Alice. Frank Longbottom, I ask you this question… this question to which you must give an answer… and the question which is that which I ask you to give an answer to the question which is this… -S_

_I my goodness, I think I just got a brain haemorrhage. –R_

_Sirius, hurry up, you almost killed your own sweetheart! –L_

_And me. All these long words… argh! –P_

_Oh, okay, sorry Remus, sorry Pete. Frank, what would you do if Alice broke up with you? –S_

_Truthfully? –F_

_Duh. –S_

_To be perfectly honest, (which I guess is the only thing I can be), I would probably beg her to take me back. If she didn't, I wouldn't force myself on her – if she doesn't want me, I'll respect that decision – but I will try to win her back. While I'm not doing that, I would probably sit in a corner and cry. If she chose someone else, I would probably move on eventually, if I found the right person… But I would be constantly comparing them to Alice and I know the other person wouldn't measure up… but I would try for their sake. –F_

_Aww, Frank, that's so sweet! –H_

_Gah, James, and I bet you would say something like 'I would eat a tub of ice-cream, yell at Padfoot and be fine', or something like that. –L_

_Would not! –J_

_But look at what you've done now Frank! You've raised the bar… now Remus is going to expect me to be sappy all the time as well. –S_

_Of course, that's what I live for. –R_

_See! –S_

_If you don't like it, you shouldn't have asked. –F_

_Dude, are you _crying_? –S_

_Mate, don't point it out, that's bullying. –J_

_Oh, sorry. –S_

_And I'm not crying. –F_

_No, he isn't. his eyes are just slightly red. Alice, on the other hand… -H_

_Oh man. –F_

_Frank, she's fine. She's just a bit overwhelmed that you care for her so much. –H_

_How do you know that? –S_

_Because she just told me, idiot. –H_

_Oh. –S_

_Okay, enough sappiness. Remus, T or D. –F_

_Again? Okay fine. T. –R_

_Who is your least favorite teacher, and why? –F_

_What a stupid question. –S_

_Isn't it obvious? –J_

_Man, even _I_ could answer this. –H_

_What? –F_

_Guys, just let Remus answer. –L_

_Okay. –S_

_They're right though. It's not even difficult. Alby by an absolute MILE. –R_

_Really? –F_

_Again – duh. –S_

_Why? I mean, she's strange, but she isn't mean or anything… -F_

_She predicts my death _all_ the time! _"Mr Lupin, I see something terrible headed your way… Mr Lupin, you are destined for a terrible, painful existence – but take heed – you life will not last very long… Mr Lupin, you will die a slow and terrible death… Mr Lupin, I see the darkest omen of them all…. The Grim! _–R_

_Yeah, whenever she says that, you don't have to worry. All it means is Sirius is going to be really annoying for the next couple of days. –J_

_Yeah, okay, I see why you don't really like her. –F_

_Good. James, T or D? –R_

_D. –J_

_Send a howler to yourself about how you put frog spawn in the fourth floor toilets, and let it explode when you get it AT BREAKFAST TOMORROW. –R_

_That's the best you got? We did that two years ago. –J_

_Sorry. I just want to see the look on McGonagall's face when she realises that it was _you_ who did that. She still believes it was Sirius. –R_

_Wait, is that why Minnie was giving me the evils last week? You little… Why I oughta…. –S_

_Yeah, yeah, we know. Peter, T or D? –J_

Lucky for Peter, the class was dismissed and the Gryffindors all wondered off to Transfiguration.

Or maybe that was unlucky…

"Okay class, settle down," said McGonagall. "Today I wish for you to be taking note from you text book, page one hundred and five to…"

The Gryffindors all tuned out after that. Even Lily.

_So, Pete. Your answer? –J_

_Er… Dare… -P_

_Gee, sound a little determined why don't you. –S_

_Peter Pettigrew… -J_

_Uh oh. You know it's going to be bad when he does this… -R_

_Poor, poor Pete. –S_

_I dare you to act out that death scene from that play that you and Lily were reading together for some odd reason in the common room two weeks ago. What was it, Lily? –J_

_Romeo and Juliet. –L_

_Yeah, that one. I want you to act this out, all dramatic like, in class. Now. Oh, and you have to play the part of the girl. –J_

_Fine… -P_

Peter may have played this game just as much as his mates, but that didn't mean that he liked it as much or that he was as used to it as they were. With a sigh, he hauled himself out of his chair and got down on one knee in front of Sirius.

"What are you doing?" hissed Sirius. "I thought Prongs said this was a death scene, not a proposal!"

"It is," whispered Peter. "I just need a dead person to cry about."

"Excuse me?"

"Can you please pretend to be dead?"

"What?"

"Please, Padfoot?"

"Okay, whatever. But you owe me one."

Sirius lay his head on the desk, opened his eyes wide and stuck his tongue out. Peter sighed. This wasn't what he had been hoping for, but it was better than nothing.

"Oh, and hold this," said Peter, shoving a goblet (that he always kept in is bag just in case the school started handing out free pumpkin juice during class or something) and shoved it into Sirius' hand.

_It's better than singing another song to Alecto Carrow_, he thought as he took in a deep breath. _Now or never._

Peter turned from Sirius to begin with, and prepared himself to cry, but he did not let the tears escape yet.

"O comfortable friar! Where is my lord? I do remember well where I should be, and there I am. Where is my Romeo?"

Several people looked over to him, but everyone heard.

Time to get dramatic. He turned towards Sirius.

_Time for some tears._

"What's here? a cup, closed in my true love's hand?" Peter cried loudly, touching Sirius' hand. This time everyone looked up immediately, including McGonagall.

"Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end: O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop, to help me after?" Peter was full out bawling now, screeching as he held onto his 'Romeo's' hand.

"Mr Pettigrew, what are you doing?" asked McGonagall, walking towards them. Peter ignored her and kept going, barely able to speak clearly due to the amount of crying he was doing.

"I… I will kiss… thy lips," he cried, reaching towards Sirius.

"Oh, hell no!" said Sirius, sitting upright. "Unhand me you ruffian, I am the beloved of Juliet! Not some pretender in school uniform!"

"Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make die with a restorative!" Cried Peter, reaching towards Sirius.

"Get away, uh, thy scurvy dog! I doth wait for my, er, true love, my wondrous Juliet, with her lips like… satin, and her hair as wavy as, er, wavier than that of thou!"

"You idiot," hissed Peter, get down, your speaking half pirate, half Elizabethan!"

"That's good, right?" asked Sirius.

"Urgh."

"Fine. Promise I won't kiss you."

"You'd better not."

Sirius lay back down in is 'dead' position.

That sorted, Peter carried on.

"Thy lips are warm," he whimpered.

"Creepy…" murmured Remus, which gained several laughs.

McGonagall was just standing there stunned. Like she had no idea what was going on.

"Yea noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!"

Peter held up his hand as if he were holding a knife. Tears were once again streaming down his face and his voice had become severely high-pitched and screechy. All in all, a fairly dramatic scene.

"This is thy sheath," wept Peter. Then, he shoved the 'dagger' into his chest, and decided to go out with a bang. With all the dramatic-ness he had left in him, he screeched out his last line:

"There rust, and LET. ME. DIE!"

With a final, 'heart wrenching' sob, Peter/Juliet died, and ended up in the same position as his Romeo – except for the fact that Peter was on top of Sirius, rather than on the desk.

James, Remus, Frank, Alice, Hestia and Lily all burst out with applause and laughter, which was quickly joined by the rest of the class. Apart from the Slytherins, of course.

That all ended quite suddenly when McGonagall cleared her throat.

"Mr Pettigrew. Mr Black. I believe I speak for the class when I ask what that was about."

"Well professor, you see-"

"I don't want to hear it!"

"Then why did you ask?" muttered Sirius. "And Wormtail, I swear, if you don't get off me _right now_..."

"Sorry!" squeaked Peter, quickly taking his goblet back from Sirius and running back over to his chair. "And sorry Professor! I didn't mean it, I just had to display my dramatic streak and-"

"Mr Pettigrew, if you must display this… dramatic streak, I ask that you do not do so in my classroom. Both you and Mr Black shall have a detention tonight."

"But professor… I already have a detention tonight!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Alright. You will do an extra hour. The both of you will do and extra hour. Now, I would appreciate it everyone would continue with their work!"

It looked like fire was going to spurt from McGonagall's nostrils at any moment, so all the students thought it best to keep working.

Well, almost.

Sirius seemed to be muttering under his breath… though if anyone had looked closely, they might have noticed he was also moving his wand under his desk. And James seemed to be writing a letter, rather than notes…

The rest of the lesson went fairly smoothly, and the group was finally able to get out of McGonagall's terrifying glare.

Well, it went smoothly if you don't count the incessant swearing of the Slytherins when their robes suddenly turned bright pink near the end of the class, and Sirius' triumphant cry of:

"Yes! Got it! And when I only had two of them in the room, too!"

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, here we go. This could take a while. Acknowledgments for Chapter 14:<strong>

**_random4ever_ suggested Remus answer in opposites  
><strong>

**an anonymous reviewer suggested James talk in nursery rhymes  
><strong>

**_PenBeatsSword_ thought up Lily's pet snake and Remus (I know it was meant to be Peter, sorry bout that!) being stuck to the wall AND the brilliant one where Sirius (again, although you did request it for Remus, sorry about that - hope you like it anyway) sung "I Feel Pretty" (which, as mentioned, is from Westside Story) Thanks for that one!  
><strong>

**_Lexie-Rae_ suggested the question I gave Hestia about the Boggart  
><strong>

**_Kezziegal_ suggested the morning sickness dare, as well as the truths about the most disgusting thing Frank had ever eaten, the most scary thing about Hogwarts when Hestia first came and whether Hestia had dreamed about Sirius.  
><strong>

**And _Hellfire Putten Ninja_ was the one who suggested I use the whole 'dare Hestia to sit still' the same way they dared Sirius before idea. Thanks for that. :D  
><strong>

**Okay. Acknowledgments for chapter 15:  
><strong>

**_PenBeatsSword_ suggested that James send a howler to himself  
><strong>

**_WobblyJelly_ suggested that Lily tell Flitwick about his vertical issue and give him advice, and that Remus should complain about his monthly problem, and that Peter should act out the Romeo and Juliet death scene as Juliet and Frank's truth of what he would do if Alice broke up with him.'  
><strong>

**Finally, _MiaCara_ suggested that our dear old Sirius should turn the Slytherin's robes pink. Original. Brilliant. :D  
><strong>

**Thanks for reading guys, and don't forget to review!  
><strong>

**Oh, but if I could put in a request... I struggle most thinking up truths... hint hint. ;)**


	16. Syllables and Messy Breakups

**So, here's the next chappie, am so glad you haven't all given up on me! And thanks for all the reviews - we're past 200 now, yay! Keep them coming guys, I'm loving all the suggestions (as most of you have probably figured out...)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and the dares and truths are mostly from my reviewers!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

WEDNESDAY EVENING: Syllables and Messy Breakups

When the Gryffindors exited the classroom, it was to find the Sirius had been extremely successful with his dare. It wasn't just the two Slytherins in the class that had their robes turned pink – oh no, it was every Slytherin in the school.

"Damn, Sirius," said Frank as he watched all the angry pink people scamper past. "I didn't know you knew how to do that!"

"We've done it before, haven't we?" said James.

"Well, yeah… but I thought that you used to sneak into their dorms at night and turn them a different colour with a colour changing charm."

"It is a colour changing charm," said Sirius, confused. "What, did you think we used _expelliarmus_?"

"That's not what I-" started Frank, but he was cut off by the marauders snickering as Snape ran past them. He shook his head, deciding he was never going to get a straight answer out of any of them.

They split up, half of them headed off to divination and the other half went to care of magical creatures.

"Okie dokie," said Sirius as he, Frank, Peter and Hestia walked towards the lake where their class would be taking place. "Who's turn is it?"

"I believe it's Pete's turn to ask," said Hestia, winking at him.

"Right…" muttered Peter, pulling out his parchment. "I'll just do that now then…"

"You'd better," said Frank. "You don't want to be running out of time, now do you?"

That, of course, caused Peter to move a lot quicker.

_Okay, right. Alice, T or D? –P_

_Good one, Pete. –J_

_What do you mean? –P_

_You almost made her fall down the stairs. –J_

_And that's a 'good one'? –L_

_Well… -J_

_James… -L_

_What I meant was that it was… um… -J_

_Never mind. –L_

_Dare. –A_

_Ooooh, good. Think up a good one, Peter! –S_

_I dare you to cast a spell that will make every suit of armor you walk past bow to you. –P  
><em>

_Ha! That's great, Wormtail –J_

_Thanks Prongs! –P_

_Um, I don't know any spells like that… -A_

_That's okay. I'll help you. –J_

_But Prongs… -S_

_It's fine Pads – I won't do the spell for her, I'll just show her how so she can do it herself. –J_

_Oh. That's okay then. –S_

_Yeah, I thought it might be. –J_

_Oh my Merlin, this is going to be so embarrassing. –A_

_What, even more embarrassing than getting caught with Frank in a broom closet by the entire school? –L_

_Of course. That was fun. –A_

_Who are you and what did you do with my friend? –H_

_No, I mean, these things are embarrassing and all, but I'm trying to see the positive side of it all… and you have to admit that this has been a blast. Come on, you _have_ to see that! –A_

_You know, I think I like this one. –S_

_Me too. –J_

_Well, that's great, but what I meant to say was that this one doesn't really have that element of fun in it…-A_

_Are you insulting my dare? –P_

_Of course not, it's a great dare. I just mean that it will be more embarrassing than fun. –A_

_Are you kidding me? I would love that dare. You could act all high and mighty… -S_

_I can imagine Sirius' face as he wrote that… I bet you're staring off into space, thinking abut your immense prettiness… -L_

_Oh, Lily! I KNEW someone else thought I was pretty! –S_

_Oh dear Merlin, Lily, you have no idea what you just did. –F_

_What? –L_

_I don't feel comfortable talking about it. Or writing about it, for that matter. –F_

_Hest? –L_

_Don't look at me; I'm with Frank on this one. –H_

_Wormtail? –R_

_Nope. –P_

_But… but… -J_

_Remus! Heads up, Alby's on the way! –L_

"Oh-"

"Remus! Watch your language!" hissed Lily. "Hoestly, I expect that from James and Sirius, but not from you!"

"Wait," said James, "So you're saying you wouldn't mind if I were to say something like-"

"Yes I would James Potter. Don't even go there."

"But you said-"

"James."

"Whatever, Lily. "

"Don't you-"

"Shhh," hissed Alice. "Alby."

"Oh for the love of Merlin," growled Remus.

"How are you all getting along?" asked Alby as she walked towards the Gryffindors.

"Fine," said Remus.

"Don't you take that tone with me, young man," said Alby in a 'stern' voice. "Now, Miss Prewett, what do you have?"

"I'm going to be treated with the utmost respect today," said Alice.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Even inanimate objects will bow before me. But not before I fall down the stairs." She added the last part quickly to ensure that she would please Alby. It seemed to work, and Alby wandered over to another table.

_Alrighty then… Sirius, T or D? –A_

_T. –S_

_Oookay… -A_

_What? –L_

_Never mind. Alright, Sirius, you know how most parents pick out a girls name and a boys name before their child is born? Well, my question is this: If you were a girl, what would your name be? –A_

_Um, okay, what was so bad about that question? –F_

_What do you mean? –R_

_Well, Sirius just sort of went pale… -P_

_What is bad about that question? I have no qualms whatsoever about telling people that if I were a boy I would be called Matthew. –L_

_Yeah, and I'd be Josephine. –J_

_I do, however, have qualms telling people my name would have been James… -H_

_Ha, can you imagine that? –F_

_Come on, Sirius, it can't be that bad. –P_

_Yes it can. –S_

_Oh, he speaks! Erm, writes. Anyway, come on, Pads, do tell. –J_

_Okay fine. I would have been called… Ascella. –S_

_Ascella? What's wrong with that? It's quite pretty. –P_

_Given the fact that Remus and Lily just burst out laughing I'm going to guess that there is something wrong with that name… -J_

_Are you kidding, James? Did you not pay any attention in astronomy at all? –A_

_Un, no? –J_

_Ascella is… oh, sorry, I'm laughing too much. –R_

_Shut up, guys. It isn't _that_ funny. –S_

_Oh yes it is. –R_

_Come on guys, what is Ascella? –J_

_The armpit. –L_

Excuse_ me? –H_

_Ascella is a star in the constellation Saggitarius… to be exact, Ascella is Saggitarius' armpit. –L_

_Oh, that is just too good! –H_

_Tough luck, Pads! –J_

_Tell you what, I will be forever grateful that I was born a guy. I mean, can you imagine it? –S_

_Dude, if you weren't born a guy, your name would be the last thing _I _would be worried about in the least. –H_

_Are you saying that I'm so handsome you'd still go for me if I were a girl? –S_

_Oh, shut up. –H_

_Fine, but I know what you meant… -S_

_But still! Ascella Black, the centaur's armpit… -J_

_Okay, okay, that's enough! Lily, Truth or Dare? –S_

_I'll be brave, unlike you, dear Sirius, and I'll say dare. –L_

_That probably wasn't the best thing to say to an angry Sirius when he is just about to dare you… -R_

_Lily, I say you are not allowed to use big, long, difficult-to-understand, hard words. –S_

_I thought you were meant to give her a dare, not an order… -H_

_Fine. Lily, I DARE you to not use big, long, difficult-to-understand, hard words until dinner. –S_

_So basically you have to talk in Sirius-speak for the rest of the day… I feel for you, Lils. –A_

_It shouldn't be too hard. –L_

_No, it shouldn't, but it will make my life a hell of a lot easier. –S_

_Gee, I'm sorry for making your life such a misery, Sirius. –L_

_Apology accepted. For now. –L_

_But hey, what constitutes as a 'big, long, difficult-to-understand, hard word'? –R_

_That, for one. –S_

_What, 'constitutes'? –A_

_Ah, my head! –S_

_I'll take that as a yes. –L_

_But do answer the question, Sirius. –H_

_Um, anything over three syllables. –S_

_But constitutes has only three syllables in it… -R_

_Two, then. –S_

_Then what about syllables? That has three syllables in it. –L_

_Yeah, but I understand that one. –S_

_Understand has three syllables in it as well. So does Sirius, now I think about it. And Hestia. And Gryffindor. And Chocolate. –L_

_Fine! I get to decide what 'constitutes' a 'big, long, difficult-to-understand, hard word'. –S_

_Difficult has three syllables in it too. –P_

_Oh, leave me alone! –S_

_Did I just hear correctly? (Which is also a three syllable word) –A_

_I think you might have done. (Those all have one syllable in them) –L_

_Nah, you can't have done. Sirius, asking to be left alone? To not have any attention? (Three syllables) –H_

_Never. (One) –L_

_I swear…You guys need to stop that! It is getting really annoying! Honestly! Lily, you can't use long words, everyone else leave it, Lily, just dare someone and then we can forget about all of his and move on with everything and be done! Gah! –S_

_You just used a four syllable word. –H_

_Argh! –S_

_Okay, little armpit, calm down. They mean no harm… -J_

_(Oh, and I forgot- longest word there was two syllables) –J_

_Not you too! –S_

… _-F_

_And if one more person calls me that I swear I'll… -S_

_I think the lack of food is getting to his brain. (Two.) –L_

_I agree. (Two) –A_

_Though when was he ever even slightly normal? (Two) –H_

_True, true… (One) –L_

_Seriously though guys, you should stop. He looks like he's going to explode. –F_

_^(Four) –H_

_No really, I mean it. –F_

_^(Two) –A_

_Okay, okay. Fine, I'll try and speak in smaller words. Happy? –L_

_Yes. Thankyou Lily. –S_

_^(Two) –J_

_Just ignore them. –L_

_Easier said than done. –S_

_^(Three) -H_

_Hey, you want me to get Hest back for you? –L_

_What do you mean? –S_

_^(One) –H_

_(Um, Hest, I'd stop if I were you.) –A_

_Well, I have this awesome dare that I have been saving… -L_

_Oooh, do tell. –S_

_They'll hear it then. –L_

_Hmm, so they will. But do it anyway. –S_

_^(Three) –H_

_(No, really) –A_

_Okay, fine. But you'll owe me one. –L_

_Tell you what – if I deem it an appropriate question, I'll do you one favour – anything you ask me, just not something dare-like. –S_

_^(Four) –H_

_(Your funeral.) –A_

_I'm not sure that (that word beginning with 'a' that I don't think I'm allowed to say) is the best word to describe the dare… -L_

_Ooh, I think I like it already… -S_

_^(Three) –H_

_In that case, deal. –L_

_Done. –S_

_Right then. Hestia, truth or dare? –L_

_How stupid do you think I am? I did just read that entire conversation. (Which was four, by the way) –H_

_Just answer the question. –S_

_Truth. –H_

_Oh good. –L_

_Wait, what? –H_

_Ha, well done, Lily. –S_

_Why thankyou, Sirius. –L_

_Bye Hest. Nice knowing you. –J_

_Can I say I told you so? –A_

_Hestia Jones, I have a question for you. –L_

_You don't say? –H_

_Here it is… -L_

_-drumroll- -S_

_Okay, so, your lover has been magically transformed into an animal, and the only way to restore your lover is to mate with them. Here's the question: Which animal would cause you the least psychological damage? –L_

_Lily. You get two favours. –S_

_Why thankyou Sirius. –L_

_So, what's the answer Hestia? –A_

_Bet you're sorry you made fun of me now, aren't you? –S_

_My answer is that I wouldn't mate with them… I can't think of a single guy that would be worth _that_. –H_

_Ah, but young Hestia, I did not ask whether you would or not, I asked which animal you would prefer. In which case, you have not answered the question. –L_

_Well I bloody well can't answer the question, can I? There isn't really a proper answer to it, now is there? –H_

_Isn't there? –A_

_Well, what would you say? –H_

_Erm… ah… -A_

_Exactly. –H_

_Well, you're going to end up with a chicken unless… -J_

_Well, I guess answering this damn question is better than a chicken… -H_

_True that. –F_

_Alright, seeing as it is widely accepted that Sirius is an animal, could I turn my lover into a Sirius? Oh no, wait… least psychological damage… hmm… -H_

_Ouch Hest, that hurt. –S_

_Oops, sorry Sirius. –H_

_I think that was sarcastic, by the way. –A_

_Damn you. –S_

Back in the divination room, Alice and Lily exchanged a glance. They had thought the situation between Sirius and Hestia had gotten better since the marauders had explained everything to her, but apparently not. Lily frowned as she realised that her truth probably… no, definitely hadn't helped. Not that she expected it too, she just… Hestia was out of line. Yeah, it had been funny at first, but when Sirius had begun to get _really_ and _properly_ annoyed… Sirius didn't normally get like that. Generally he could take a joke.

It seemed like Sirius and Hestia would have to have a little chat later on.

_Now, to answer the question… I'd say something similar to a human, but then that would leave me with a monkey and I mean… come on. But a monkey, no matter how weird, has to be better than something for legs… or a fish. Ugh. And it does say _least_ damage, right? I mean, I would get damage from anything other than a human, and I would be practically… ugh, I don't even want to think about it. So It'll have to be some kind of monkey. Not something small, but I think a gorilla'd kill me… I think I'm going to have to go with an Orang-utan. –H_

_And Orang-utan? Really? –A_

_It says _least_… -H_

_But they're so… hairy. –A_

_What, so you'd go with one of those naked cats or something? –H_

_No but… urgh. Can you imagine kissing an Orang-utan? –A_

_Lily said I had to _mate_ with it. She mentioned nothing about kissing. But still… urgh, urgh, urgh. It's so disturbing. –H_

_Yeah, I think that was the point. –A_

_We will never mention this again. –H_

_Agreed. I believe I'll get nightmares from that, and it wasn't even my question. –A_

_Why, what _would_ you have picked? –H_

_Nuh uh. Not answering. –A_

_So you actually _know_ what you would have picked? –H_

_I never said that. –A_

_You as good as. –H_

_Did not! –A_

_Did too! –H_

_This is getting nowhere. How about we move on? –L_

_Agreed. James, T or D? –H_

_D. –J_

_Make out with Lily now. –H_

_But we're in class! –L_

_NOW. –H_

"Come on, Lils," said James. "It is only Divination, after all."

"Fine," sighed Lily.

They both leaned in towards each other and locked lips. It didn't take long before they both became more enthusiastic. Remus and Alice leaned back from them, and as the rest of the class noticed what they were doing wolf whistles, laughing and a couple of sniggers erupted from the students. Alby looked for the source of the disruption and once she had found it headed for the Gryffindor table once more.

"What's this?" she asked. "And from the Head Boy and Girl no less. What a disgrace."

Lily and James didn't seem to notice.

"Well?" asked Alby irritably.

Remus kicked James under the table, and the two jerked apart.

"I'm sorry, what?" asked James, looking up.

"You should be sorry," said Alby. "Ten points from Gryffindor, and _do not_ let me catch you at it again."

"Yes Professor," said Lily. "Sorry, Professor."

Alby gave them one last 'withering' look, then walked back over to the table of Ravenclaws who actually took it upon themselves to behave in her class.

_Alice, T or D? –J_

_T this time. –A_

_What can you visualise me best as? A dancing ballerina wearing a pink tutu or as a fluffy little unicorn? –J_

_The ballerina. –A_

_Seriously? I can see him as a little fluffy unicorn… I mean, despite the fact that unicorns aren't really fluffy. –L_

_The difference, Lily, is that I have actually seen James in a pink tutu. –A_

_Oh, wow. Do tell, dearie. –L_

_Well, you see, I went over to James' house one summer – you know he doesn't live all that far from me – and he was there with Sirius… -A_

_Oooh, this sounds good. Keep going! –H_

_No, no, no, no, no. I think it is your turn to do a truth or dare, Alice. –J_

_Oh, but James… -A_

_Nope. Anyway, you know I have dirt on you too… -J_

_Oh you are so mean. Okay, fine. Pete, T or D? –A_

_T. –P_

_Alright then. As revenge for your dare on me, same question as what Lily asked Hestia. –A_

_Oh, that's easy. –P_

_That is just wrong… -H_

_What? –P_

_You know exactly which animal you would choose… -H_

_Well yeah. It's like you said, you have to pick the one that would give you the least damage. –P_

_And that would be… -A_

_A rat of course. –P_

_What? Oh yuck! –A_

_Well you see, then I could ~~~~~~~~~~ -P_

_What was that? –H_

_Um, Peter? –L_

_Sorry, I _had_ to steal his parchment before he wrote that down. I'm sure it would give even _me_ psychological damage. The squiggle was from his quill when I pulled the parchment away. –S_

_Oh. –A_

_Thanks Sirius, I owe you one. –L_

_Can this count as one of those favours? –S_

_No. –L_

_Damn. –S_

"Alright Sirius, you can give Peter his parchment back now," said Frank, down in Care of Magical creatures.

"Oh I can, can I?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah."

"Peter Petrigrew, do you swear by the Marauders code that you will never mention or refer to that question ever again, both on parchment and off?"

"I so solemnly swear."

"Fine. There's your parchment."

Sirius thrust Peter's parchment back into his hands, leaving Hestia and Frank wondering what on earth the punishment for breaking the marauder's oath could be, seeing as it was clearly so bad Sirius trusted Peter enough to stick by it that he gave him his parchment back.

_Right, Frank, T or D? –P_

_D. –F_

_During the whole of dinner – or at least until you get caught – you are to ride on a broomstick around the great hall as many times as you can screaming stuff like 'the Nargles are coming to get me' or 'everybody run for your lives – the dragon under the castle has escaped' and just random stuff like that. –P_

_Brilliant. That sounds like fun. –F_

_Cough. Cough. –H_

_Sirius, T or D? –F_

_I'm going to go with D, seeing as SOMEONE called me a coward last time I went T. –S_

_Sorry. –L_

_None taken. –S_

_Sure seems like it. –L_

_ANYWAY… -F_

_-gasp- the dreaded word… -S_

_It's alright, my darling, I'll save you… Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog. –R_

_Thankyou, sweetie pie, I am forever in your debt! –S_

_Moving on… Sirius, I dare you to get inside one of the suits of armor and wear it until a teacher asks you to take it off, but only if they use the word 'please'. –F_

_Ooooh, that sounds like fun! And I actually mean that! –S_

_Brill. –F_

_FINALLY! Divination Is OVER! –R  
><em>

_Bit excited there, Remus? –A_

_Hey! Don't knock my soul mate! –S_

_You realise that during that syllable fiasco – and when we all learnt you were almost called 'armpit' – Remus didn't stand up for you once? –H_

_Of course he did! –S_

_No, he didn't. –H_

_O_o –S_

_What on earth is that? –A_

_REMUS, NO! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? –S_

_I ask again… -A_

_I am so sorry my love, I don't know what came over me! James must have enchanted me or something! –R_

_PRONGS, HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! –S_

_Uh, Sirius, could you please stop writing in capital letters? Not that it isn't punctual or anything, and it is getting your message through brilliantly, it's just that you write incredibly slow when you use capital letters, and it is irritating, not to mention getting on my nerves. –L_

_-Cough- long words –cough- -S_

_Oh, sorry. Ahem. Sirius, no offence, but please stop writing in capital letters because it makes you write slow and that's annoying. –L_

_There, now isn't that easier to understand? –S_

_Not really? –L_

_Whatever. Back to the matter at hand. JAMES! –S_

_Ahem. –L_

_Sorry Lily. I meant: __james!__ –S_

_That better? –S_

_Much. –L_

_What was I on about again? –S_

_No idea, maybe we should continue… -J_

_Right. Hestia, T or D? –S_

_D. –H_

_Great. You'll have to wait for your question though, I am off to find a suit of armor that will fit me. –S_

_And I'm off to grab a broom. –F_

_Oh, and Alice, I have the instructions for that spell writing down, you can do that now. –J_

_Brilliant. –A_

_Something is telling me that our next lesson is going to be rather interesting… -L_

_Hmm, funny that. –H_

_Wait, wait, wait. –A_

_What? –L_

_O_o –A_

_Um, what? –H_

_My question exactly. Sirius did it earlier and I'd like to know what it was. –A_

_Oh, that. –S_

_What is it? –P_

_It's a smiley face. You know, like :) or :( or :| –S_

_What, or like :P –L_

_Or :'( -J_

_Exactly! See, they know what I mean! –S_

_I know what those ones are, but let's be honest, I have never seen anyone's face look even remotely like ( O_o ) that! –A_

_Fair enough. –S_

_Well then, what does it mean? –A_

_It's… ah… -S_

_Well you see Alice, people do that face to symbolise – I mean, indicate – no, oops, um, to _show_ when they are feeling kind of…. No, more like when they are… kind of a mix between surprised and confused. –L_

_Mhm, because that made so much sense. -A_

_I'm trying not to use long words! -L  
><em>

_Yep, sure. Sirius, can you explain it? –A_

_Well, there are many different smiley faces, aren't there. Like: -S_

_:) -S_

_:( -S_

_:| -S_

_:D –S_

_:O -S  
><em>

_:/ -S  
><em>

_XD -S_

_;) –S_

_:P –S_

_:'( -S_

_:') –S_

_:3 –S_

_8) –S_

_^_^ -S_

_*_* -S_

_-_- -S_

_o:) –S_

_3:( -S_

_Oh, my favourite: -S_

_#8D (that's James by the way) –S_

_Hey, my hair does not look like that! –J_

_And then there's O_o. It's just another emotion that can be drawn on a piece of paper with a quill. –S_

_Right… and what emotion is it? Happy? Sad? Cheeky? Lovesick? –A_

_Um…. I'm going to go find that armor… -S_

_Idiot. –A_

_Saw that! –S_

* * *

><p>Alice groaned as the first suit of armor bent down at the waist. Then the next. Then the next. Every single damn suit of armor she walked past bowed down to her. There were several people looking at the armor wondering what the hell was going on, but nobody realised it was Alice, thank Merlin.<p>

When James, Lily, Alice and Remus made it to the Entrance Hall (And thank god for that, seeing as there were very few suits of armor) they were met by Hestia, Peter, Frank and… a suit of armor.

"Hey guys," called Lily. "How was your lesson?"

"Interesting," came a muffled voice from inside the armor. "Very interesting."

"You know, I really think you picked the wrong time for that dare," said Lily, looking at Frank.

"No, I don't think I did," said Frank.

"But if you had of done it when Sirius would have had to wear the armor in class it would have been so much more effective!"

"No, I don't think it would have."

"What do you mean?" asked Hestia.

Frank merely grinned, having no need to say anything.

"OW! Oh, bloody hell!"

Everyone turned to look at Sirius, who seemed to be bent over.

"Um, Pads," said James, "What are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything," hissed Sirius. "It's this bloody suit of armor! It won't let me stand back up, it's gotten all jammed!"

"See?" said Frank.

Lily burst out laughing.

"Oh Frank, I am truly sorry for doubting your intelligence and daring prowess."

"Yes, I thought you might be."

Understanding flitted across Sirius' face – not that anyone could see it, due to the helmet he was wearing, not to mention the fact that his face was currently facing the floor.

"Frank!" He yelled. "You _knew _this would happen!"

"Well, yeah, of course," said Frank.

"Damn you."

"You know, Sirius," said Lily, "You seem to be swearing an awful lot lately. More than usual, anyway."

"I've noticed that as well," said Remus. "I don't know if I can continue being with someone with such a foul mouth…"

Sirius gasped.

"Remus, no! Please, I beg of you!"

Remus simply stuck his nose in the air and walked into the great hall. Sirius ran after him (finding that once he had run past Alice he was able to stand up straight), clanking as he went.

"Well, that was interesting," said James. Then he gestured to the door – "Shall we?"

The rest of the Gryffindors (not including Frank who stayed outside with his broomstick) headed for their table to find Remus and Sirius sitting opposite each other. Remus was shoveling food onto his plate while Sirius watched him sadly with his head resting on his arms - although whether that was due to the fact that he couldn't eat or because Remus was annoyed at him the others didn't know.

"So, Sirius," said James, sliding in next to him. "How uncomfortable is that armor? I've never tried it before…"

"It's very uncomfortable," said Sirius. "And there are so many pieces – man, if I didn't have magic, this thing would have taken hours to put on. You know, I reckon that's the only reason King Arthur kept Merlin around back then – he wouldn't have had time to go about saving the world if he didn't have a wizard there to put his armor on for him."

"That might be true, but I'm sure people had loads more practice at it back then," said Alice, who, deciding to be nice, had sat as far away from Sirius as she could without being apart from the group in order to save his back.

"Besides," said Lily, "King Arthur hardly saved the world – he just shaped history."

"Just?" asked Remus. "He _just_ shaped history? You talk like that's an easy thing."

"I dunno," said James, "If anyone can shape history, I'd have to say it'd be Lily. After Merlin and Dumbledore of course."

"Of course," said Lily, rolling her eyes.

A scream came from the entrance hall, causing everyone to jump.

"What the…" said Peter. But the rest of them knew what was going on… and sure enough a couple of seconds later Frank came whizzing through the doors on his broomstick.

"Help!" he screamed. "Someone, please, help! The Nargles are after me, they want to suck out my brain!"

"Mr Longbottom-" came McGonagalls voice, but amazingly it was quickly drowned out.

"Everyone, run for you lives – but not before you help me of course – please help!"

The majority of the students had begun to laugh at Frank's expense, while the teachers were where either looking bewildered, annoyed or – in Dumbledore's and Buckleberry's case – amused.

"The castle is infested with slug eyed purple vampires! We're all going to be eaten by ostriches! Somebody, help!"

"Frank Longbottom!" called McGonagall. "Get down this instant!"

"But professor, the dragon living under the castle has escaped – it is attacking the castle's defenses!"

"Mr Longbottom-"

"The Nifflers want my blood!"

"LONGBOTTOM-"

"Not to mention the fact that the sorting hat is out on a rampage – apparently one of the sixth years told it that it song didn't rhyme – and now it is trying to attack the house elves with a green handkerchief!"

Frank was still zooming about the great hall, ignoring the yells from the teachers to come down. Eventually, Slughorn simply pulled out his wand and pointed it at Frank.

"_Immobulus_!"

Frank froze in mid air, which allowed Flitwick to cast a charm in order to lower him to the ground, after which McGonagall grabbed him by the ear and towed him out of the hall, looking angrier than the dragon Frank had been describing.

"Well, that was interesting," said Alice, picking up a chicken leg.

"Mhm," agreed James, wafting his leg in front of Sirius' face.

"Mr Black!"

They all turned their heads sharply to see Buckleberry walking towards them.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"It's just armor, Professor," said Sirius. "I need to make sure that I stay safe. I've heard of some weird happenings around the school lately, and I'm just being precautious."

"I'm sure you are," said Buckleberry, pressing his lips into a tight line.

"No, seriously," said Sirius, glad that the helmet covered his face and so Buckleberry couldn't use his 'superpower' (which Sirius _knew_ he possessed) to tell that he was lying. He leaned towards him. "If I wasn't wearing this, I would have been turned into a dog."

"Really," said Buckleberry disbelievingly. "Well, if you don't take it off in the next five minutes, you will have lost twenty house points. As it is, you have already lost five."

Then he walked back to finish his dinner.

Sirius swore under his breath while James burst out laughing.

"Tough break Pads," laughed James. "He didn't tell you to take it off."

"Yes, I might have noticed that," sighed Sirius. "But never mind. It means I get to have more fun with this!"

He spread his arms wide happily, unfortunately hitting Hestia over he head in the process.

"Bloody hell, Sirius!"

"Oh, Hest, I'm so sorry!"

"You hit me over the head with your steel covered arm and all you do is say _sorry_?"

"No really! I'll make it up to you!"

"How?"

"Anything!"

"_Anything?_" asked Hestia, winking at him. James and Frank exchanged amused glances. Hestia was following the plan perfectly.

"Yes! Just tell me what you want!"

Hestia smiled flirtatiously and pulled Sirius' helmet off his head. Then she ran a hand through his hair, leaned in and began to whisper in his ear. She didn't get far, however, before Remus began to shout.

"How DARE you?"

Hestia quickly pulled away.

"I'm so sorry, Remus, I don't-"

But Remus wasn't looking at her.

"How could you do this to me? Sirius, how?"

"Remus, I have no idea-"

"I thought you loved me," cried Remus, "And here you are, fraternizing with _her_!"

"It's not what it-"

"What? Not what it looks like? You really think I'm going to fall for that? All those times you said you loved me, every time you looked at me, you were pining after little miss Hestia Jones!"

By now, the two of them were standing up on their opposite sides of the table, and they had the attention of the entire hall.

"Remus, I haven't been cheating on you, I swear!"

"Oh really? And why should I believe you? You know you asked me out _after_ you asked out James? And before that you asked out Tasha Brown! So what, were you going to just stand her up, or were you going to go out with her instead of out with me?"

"Remus, I… it wasn't… I would have…"

"I thought that maybe you had changed, that maybe you did care about me… but now I see that you're after Hestia! How could you do this to me, Sirius?"

"Oh yeah?" asked Sirius, his temper finally breaking. "You say that this is all my fault, but I've noticed all those looks you've been giving Lily! Not to mention the fact that you are completely unsupportive of me – why, when Frank told me to put on this dastardly suit of armor you didn't even bat an eyelid, even after all those times I defended you!"

"That was because-"

"And then, _Remus_, you go and accuse me for wanting Hestia when all I was doing was trying to say sorry for accidentally hitting her over the head! Do you really think I am _that_ unfaithful? Yeah, I might have asked James out, but he rejected me rather publicly! Then, with Tasha… it was a whole two days ago that I asked her out, Remus! You mean so much more to me than she did!"

"But Sirius –"

"No, Remus. This is OVER! I see now that you had no trust in me whatsoever, and I believe that I deserve better than that!"

"Oh you do, do you?" asked Remus. "Well, go on then, LEAVE! See if I care!"

"Oh you will," said Sirius. "You will care, and you will come crawling back to me tomorrow, begging for me back."

"As if I would," scoffed Remus. "You are nothing to me."

"If I were nothing, then you wouldn't have been so upset when Hestia took my stuffy helmet off!"

"Well I clearly mean more to you than you mean to me!"

"Oh yeah? I believe I was the one who said it was over a little while ago, not you!"

"And I was the one that told you to leave!"

"Only because you couldn't stand the thought of being without me for only a second!"

"That doesn't even make any _sense_, Sirius! You never make any _sense!_ That's one of the reasons why I can't stand you! I just need to be away from you Sirius, away from you and your absolute ridiculousness!"

"That was a long word, Remus!"

"What do I care, Sirius? You can just go to bugger all for all that I care, and then you can get the hell out of my sight!"

"No way, Remus, you're the one that started this, so you're the one that has to leave!"

"Sirius, don't you even start! I hate you so much I feel like I am going to explode, Sirius!"

"Oh, so is that why could can't stop saying my name, _Remus_? Admit it – you still care about me!"

"So why are you trying to break up with me, _Sirius_?"

"Have you not listened to a single word that I have said? Are you seriously that stupid? I thought you were smart, Remus. It seems like I didn't know you at all."

"Clearly you didn't, just as I didn't know you."

"You know what? You're right! You don't know me. You never have, and you NEVER WILL! By Merlin, Remus, you thought my favourite food was chocolate eclair! How could you be so wrong? Why can't I just live my life in peace and away from the likes of YOU!"

"You know what? Why don't you just leave!"

"Fine then, maybe I WILL!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

With that, Sirius stormed out of the hall, only to return a couple of seconds later to collect his helmet which was still on the table and then, with one last scathing look shot in Remus' direction, scurried back out again, bowing to Alice as he passed.

Not long after, Remus slammed his pumpkin juice on the table and stalked out the door, although he was clearly not going in the same direction as his 'ex-soul mate'.

"You know, I think this is one of the more enjoyable dinners I've had here at Hogwarts," said Lily.

"I think you might be right," said Alice.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope it held up to all your expectations! And yeah, with the smileys, I know they are writing not typing, but still... (blame dear old Ash for that, it was her idea.)<br>**

**Here are the acknowledgements:**

**~ Alice's dare to have all the armor bow to her was from _E. C. Scrubb_  
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**~ Remus' question about his least favorite teacher is from _WobblyJelly_  
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**~ Lily being unable to say 'Big Hard Words' is from _weasley-girl-who-rocks_  
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**~ _Arrows the Wolf_ came up with the idea of what Sirius' name would be if he was a girl (Though I must admit I found 'Acsella' on wikipedia)  
><strong>

**~ _SwimDiva87_ suggested James' question (the ballerina or the unicorn)  
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**~ Sirius' dare of being in a suit of armor is from _Hellfire Putten Ninja_. _Lexie Rae_ suggested something similar (and don't stress, that will come real soon, if you remember what I mean ;) )  
><strong>

**~ _Igotboredoneday_ suggested that 'Frank' (I _know_ it was meant to be James - sorry, sorry) fly around the place yelling random stuff.  
><strong>

**I think that's it. Again, If I missed someone, tell me and I'll add it. I do try my hardest though.  
><strong>

**So, I'll see you on the next chapter soon (hopefully) and please leave a review! Thanks! **

**~:D  
><strong>


	17. Food and Another Hat

**So... here I am once again... man, has it been a long time. So sorry about that. Major thanks to the two people who pushed me to finish this. Yeah, you know exactly who you are. **

**In other news, yay, 300 reviews! Wow guys, that was definitely a deciding factor in getting me to write this faster (as I said before, I never abandoned it. It was just... slow going.)**

**I hope that those of you who are still there find this just as enjoyable as the other chapters. Also, welcome to any new readers!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

WEDNESDAY EVENING: Food and Another Hat.

_Life is hell. _

That was the one sole thought running through his mind as he sat on the common room floor, his whole body aching from being encased in steel for such a long time, with a gnawing hunger in his stomach because he hadn't eaten for a day and fake tears pouring down his face due to the fact that Remus was sitting opposite him.

_No, no, no, that isn't right. Life is more than Hell. Worse than a nightmare. More terrible, abysmal, dreadful, severe, inferior, inadequate, __substandard, poor, second-rate, second-class, unsatisfactory, unacceptable, deficient, imperfect, defective, faulty, shoddy, amateurish, careless, negligent, miserable, sorry, incompetent, inept, inexpert, ineffectual, awful, atrocious, appalling, execrable, deplorable, godawful, crummy, rotten, pathetic, useless, woeful, bum, not up to snuff, lousy than being stuck in a broom closet with Wormtail for twenty-four hours. No – a week. _

That's_ how bad life is right now. _

Well, just the fact that his brain had even come up with all those words should be a good enough indicator. Bloody hell, it was official. He was going mad. Definitely. Absolutely. Without a doubt, positively, certainly, palpably-

"Padfoot!"

"_What_, Lily?"

He will never get used to Lily calling him Padfoot. Admittedly, it was only being done as a necessity and it would likely end the next day, but still…

"Will you pay attention? It is your turn, and we have been trying to get you out of your thoughts for the past ten minutes!"

"All of you?" asked Sirius, turning his teary gaze onto his 'ex-boyfriend'.

Remus let a few tears leak out of his own eyes (although not without difficulty – he may or may not have poked himself in the eye) and turned his head… although this particular action was not completely necessary as he was wearing a blindfold.

You see, the blindfold was necessary because in the chicken Frank and James had given them they said that he needed to cry loudly whenever he _saw _Sirius or heard his name and then run away. This happened about four times in the space of two minutes, with Lily fetching him every time. Eventually, she just tied the blindfold over his eyes and told everyone to call Sirius 'Padfoot'. This made reading and writing the parchment difficult, but he found that he could lift the blindfold slightly to see the parchment, just so long as he covered his eyes again before looking up.

"Right," muttered Sirius. "Okay, I get it."

"For the love of Merlin, Pads, just go!" yelled James.

"Oh, so you want me to leave now, too? Man, even my best mate-"

"Merlin!" exclaimed Hestia, whacking him over the back of his head. "Being mopey does not suit you at all-"

"And of course, you will perk up when _Hestia_ asks you to-"

"SHUT UP REMUS!" yelled Sirius. "YOU WERE NOT A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION!"

"I am sitting here, am I not? Why then don't I have the right to speak?"

"Stop talking like you're from a hundred years ago! Bloody hell!"

"Well you should just-"

"Boys!" yelled Lily, "Come on, guys, let's just get back into The Game. You can yell at each other later for I care, but right now-"

"Ooh, Lily, starting to enjoy it, are you?" asked Peter. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Fine," growled Sirius, reaching for his parchment. "But only because _you_ asked, Lily, and not anyone else."

The group collectively rolled their eyes while Remus growled in annoyance.

_Alright, Alice, T or D? –S_

_D. –A_

_Really? Awesome, Okay, hm… -S_

_That may not have been the best idea, Alice, he isn't exactly in the best mood… -L_

_Ah, well. We all need a little fun in life. –A_

_And you thought this when you had to go to madam Pomfrey earlier in The Game? –J_

_Erm… -A_

_Thought not. –J_

_Okay, I've got one. –S_

_FINALLY! –P_

_Alice, your dare is going to start at midnight, for I dare you to go until noon tomorrow (twelve hours) acting like the one and only Sherlock Holmes. –S_

_And you know who Sherlock Holmes is because? –L_

_You know, Lily, that sentence was not grammatically correct. –S_

_And you care because? –L_

_Oh, I give up. –S_

_Just answer the question. Please? Pretty Please? –L_

_Oh okay fine, just stop looking at me like that! Those big eyes are very… distracting. –S_

_Deal. –L_

_Okay, well, remember on Monday when Alice was doing all those quotes? Well, she quoted this 'Sherlock Holmes' before so I asked R- ahem, _him_ what that was and _he_ explained. –S_

_Oh my god, Sirius, I am _so_ sorry… I didn't mean, oh no, please don't cry… -L_

_It's okay Lily, I'll be fine. But hey, has anyone noticed that Alice has not had anything to say about her dare? –S_

_Yes, I have, actually. –L_

_Maybe that's because of all the writing you've been doing! I haven't been able to get a word in. –A_

_Oh, sorry Alice. –L_

_I concur with Lily. –S_

_Okay, I think this breakup has done something to your mind. Using words like 'concur', I ask you! –L_

_No, I think it may be the lack of food. –J_

_Or, perhaps, the fact that he has been bent over at the waist since Alice came in. –F_

_Oh, Merlin Sirius, I'm sorry, I didn't notice. Hang on. –A_

_There, is that better? –A_

_Yes, Alice, thanks. Moving away from by just a couple of inches may well be the best thing for my health that you have ever done. –S_

_You're welcome… and sorry again. –A_

_And your take on the dare is…? –J_

_I think it will be fun. I have always enjoyed Sherlock Holmes. Getting the acting completely right will be hard, but… -A_

_Anyway, it's your turn now, Alice. –R_

_Why, thank you Remus. –A_

_-sniffle- -S_

_Oh, get a grip. –J_

_(James, it was in the dare we gave them.) –F_

_(I know, shut up.) –J_

_Okay, Hest, T or D. –A_

_T.-H_

_Which teacher do you find the most attractive? –A_

_Oh, easy peasy! Professor Binns of course. –H_

_Did she just… -J_

_I don't know what to think. –S_

_I can't believe she just did that. –P_

_Um, Hestia, I do hate to break it to you, but Professor Binns is a GHOST. –J_

_Yeah, he's kinda… dead. –P_

_Man, Hest, I didn't have you pegged as a necrophiliac! –S_

_I am so not! I was just asked which professor I think is the most attractive. You did mean physically, right Alice? –H_

_Yep. –A_

_See? That cancels out all of his boringness. Just focusing on physical attributes Professor Binns is the most attractive. –H_

_I'm sorry, there were too many long words in there so I must have misunderstood. Please rephrase Hestia. –S_

_No, I think you understood perfectly. –J_

_Something that doesn't happen often. –R_

_REMUS! Stop being so mopey! Kind of get what Hestia means, after all. –L_

_WHAT? –J_

_But he's so old! –F_

_And dead. Did we mention he's dead? He has lots of… deadness. –S_

_Seems kind of like Twilight, if you ask me. –R_

_What's Twilight? –J_

_You are so better off not knowing. –R_

_Hey, stop making me feel left out! –J_

_It's a Muggle thing, James. –L_

_The representation of werewolves was ridiculous and insulting! –R_

_And… getting back on topic… -F_

_Okay, you guys have clearly never seen a picture of Professor Binns as a student. –H_

_Oh, THAT'S what you meant. In that case, I totally agree. –A_

_Should I be worried? –F_

_I agree too. –L_

_LILY! –J_

_What ever happened to not writing in capital letters? –P_

_The man makes a good point. –S_

_Shut it, Pads. –J_

_Look, next time you're in the library look in the old yearbooks. There's a picture of Binns in there when he was our age. –L_

_-_swoon-_ -H_

_Well, he's hot so long as you overlook the fashion sense. –A_

_You have to give some leeway, though, I mean how long ago was this? –H_

_No, no, no, Lily, we do _not_ need a history lesson about our history teacher. Let's just leave it at that... although I am curious which teacher you would pick given the way they look NOW, Hest… -S_

_Oh, that would have to be Buckleberry. Purely because he is the only one that is less that ten years older than us. –H_

_Okay, fair enough. Moving on… -R_

_Was that a hint, Remus? –H_

~_thirty seconds later~_

_I don't think he's talking to you, Hestia. –J_

_Too right! Why would I talk to the little ~~~ who stole my boyfriend? –R_

_I love how even when he's angry Remus can't cuss. –J_

_~thirty seconds later AGAIN~_

_Insert witty line by Padfoot… -P_

_Dude, this sucks. –J_

_I know, your jokes are nowhere near as good as Padfoot's. –P_

_Why you little- -J_

_Lils, T or D? –H_

_D. –L_

_Sleep in Remus' bed again tonight. –H_

_DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME? –J_

_MY EARS! –S_

_Um, he didn't say anything. –P_

_It's just the principle, Wormy, that's all. –S_

_-_gasp_- Sirius actually knows words like principle! –L_

_Shut up. –S_

_You know, I think we have a new word – phrase – that is used often… -H_

"HESTIA!"

"What?"

_Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog…-S_

"Oh. Um… Oops?"

_Okay, that's enough. –J_

James reached over towards Sirius.

_Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog, Sirius, dog Sir~~~~~~~~~~~-S_

_Thanks, James. –A_

_I love you so, so much right now. –L_

_And you don't usually? –J_

_That is often up for debate. –L_

_Oi! –J_

"Sirius Black, repeat after me," said Peter, deciding that James was a little distracted.

Remus suddenly started bawling, ripped his blindfold off and ran out of the portrait hole. Lily sighed in annoyance and went back out after him.

"Sirius Black, repeat after me," said Sirius monotonously.

"I- No, that's not what I-"

"I- No, that's not what I-"

"Leave it to me, Wormy," chuckled James.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Hey, stop it!"

"Hey, stop it!"

"Argh!"

"Argh!"

"Okay, okay, that's enough," interrupted James, seeing that this could go on a for a while. "Sirius Black, do you swear to never continuously repeat the words 'Sirius', 'dog' or any other on the parchment in an attempt to make said word the most repeated on the parchment?"

"But-"

"_Sirius…_"

"I so solemnly swear."

"Great."

Lily stuck her head back in.

"Is it safe?" she asked.

"Yeah, bring him in," sighed Alice.

Lily did so, grumbling about how the Fat Lady was starting to get annoyed. Remus just continued to sniffle… though Hestia would later swear she saw him smiling in amusement.

_Continue people. –J_

_Great. So, I'm sleeping with Remus tonight. –L_

_Uh, Lily… -H_

_YOU KNOW THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT! –L_

_We should make a rule about that. –R_

_Agreed. –F_

_Okay. Um… Frank, T or D? –L_

_D. –F_

_I…. I'm hungry, actually, Sirius and Remus cut dinner short. Would be please be a dear and go down to the kitchens and come back with some food? –L_

_But… -S_

_Oh, sorry Sirius, my bad. Frank, I _dare_ you to go down to the kitchens and bring back some food. Bring it back yourself, will you? And make it good stuff please. A basket of muffins, some éclairs, at least one cheese pizza, a couple of doughnuts… –L_

_Add chocolate pudding! –P_

_Chocolate pudding. –L_

_A slab of chocolate. –R_

_Pancakes! –A_

_A couple of chicken legs. –J_

_And an apple. –H_

Hestia got a couple of odd looks.

"What? You have to be healthy _sometimes._"

_Yes, all that stuff too. –L_

_But LILY! –S_

_Of course, Lily. –F_

Now, ask Frank walked down to the kitchens he was overjoyed. It wasn't quite curfew yet, which meant that even if he was caught he wouldn't get in trouble, and he wasn't doing anything, erm, _dangerous_, such as stealing a hat, stunning a cat or – god forbid – kidnapping a dog.

That was one experience Frank hoped he would never have to repeat.

Good old Lily. He was fairly certain he knew exactly why Lily had picked that dare (*cough* Sirius *cough*) but he was insanely glad that he had been the person to be given it.

Who wouldn't?

The walk down was leisurely, and the only person Frank saw was a Hufflepuff sixth year near the entrance to the kitchens. He tickled the pear. Stepped through the door. Got attacked by the house elves.

You know. The usual.

While he was waiting for the food to be ready, he sat down with a cup of tea and pulled out his parchment.

_Soo… what's happening up there? –F_

…_-F_

_Um, guys? –F_

_Sorry Frank, we've got a bit of a situation here. –A_

_Alice! Hey, what's going on? –F_

_Well, Sirius got a little annoyed at Lily for sending you to get the food. His excuse was that it wasn't a proper dare… -A_

_And what did Remus do? –F_

_How do you know that it was Remus? –A_

_Are you really asking me that? –F_

_Fair enough. Well, Sirius didn't even really say anything, but then Remus blew up and started defending Lily but that only lasted for about the first few seconds because then it was just Remus and Sirius screaming at each other. Most of it didn't even make sense. What is a buggle-headed bat-wobbler anyway? –A_

_I don't know. –F  
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_Well, according to Sirius that's what Remus' mum is… and the fact that they're crying doesn't help much either, can hardly understand the words that _are_ intelligible. -A_

_Where are the others? –F_

_Lily and Peter are holding Remus back and trying to talk to him, while Hestia and James are doing the same for Sirius… I don't think this is going to end well. Maybe you should stall. –A_

_And leave you up there on your own to deal with _that_? No way. The house elves are almost done anyway, from the look of it. –F_

_Aw, so sweet. –A_

_What, for not wanting my girlfriend to be mentally scared and put in St. Mungos for the mentally disabled due to a fight between Remus and Sirius? I don't think so. –F_

_Still. –A_

_Anyway, gotta go, house elves are done. See you in a few. –F_

Or, at least, Frank thought the house elves were done. Surely that basket that they placed in front of him was all of it, right? The ting was enormous.

But then another house elf wandered over, teetering under the weight of a huge circular tray.

On it was one of the biggest pizzas Frank had ever seen. At least for a pizza that wasn't trying to beat some form of record. It had to be at least three feet across.

Or maybe it just looked bigger because of the dread that was slowly starting to pool in Frank's stomach.

Another house elf walked up to Frank, holding a large bowl, which she then plonked down on the table next to the other stuff and then she headed back over to the stoves.

Hoping he was wrong, Frank looked under the cloth covering the basket. Then he gasped.

Oh dear Merlin.

The basket was full of muffins.

Frank tried to think of everything Lily had 'dared' him to pick up. Everything he had told the house elves to prepare.

A basket of muffins.

Some chocolate eclairs.

One cheese pizza.

A couple of doughnuts.

A bowl of chocolate pudding.

A slab of chocolate.

A plate of pancakes.

A couple of chicken legs.

An apple.

Frank glanced into the huge bowl in front of him and groaned. It was full of chicken legs. He jumped as another bowl was placed onto the table with a loud _bang!_ He groaned again. Chocolate pudding. That thing had to weigh a ton!

Soon, the table was covered with bowls and plates and baskets, all full to the brim with different foods, and with a small red apple balancing precariously on top.

"Are you sure that this will be quite enough, Master Longbottom?" asked a small elf who had introduced herself as Trippy.

"Enough?" asked Frank in a tiny voice.

"You are with Masters Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew, are you not? They always needs lots of feeding," she said, sounding slightly doting.

"Erm, yeah, but Sirius isn't eating so-"

"Oh!" exclaimed Trippy. "Well then, this will be enough. I hopes you will be having a good night, Master Longbottom!"

"Erm, thanks Trippy," he muttered.

Now, the hard part.

How the hell was he going to get all this to the Gryffindor common room? Damn Lily, she knew this would happen! He thought about calling Trippy back and asking for help, but then he remembered what Lily had said.

_Bring it all back yourself, yeah?_

Damn her.

He should have realised it wouldn't be this easy.

* * *

><p>It had taken a long time, but eventually the Gryffindor common room quieted. This was partly due to the fact that almost all of the Gryffindors had retreated to their dormitories when the fighting broke out, but it was also due to the fact that Lily had finally managed to stop said fighting.<p>

Honestly, what were James and Frank thinking when they set this dare? She was going to murder them. Really, she was.

"Lily…" said Hestia.

"What?"

"You need to calm down."

"I am calm."

"Yeah, sure."

"I swear, Hest-"

"Come on, Lils, we all know you're planning the imminent death of your boyfriend and Alice's one true love!"

"I'll help you if you want, Lily," said Alice, fiddling the hem of her sleeve. "And I'm pretty sure Remus and Sirius will too if you ask them the moment their dare is finished.

"When does their dare finish?" asked Hestia.

"Um… let me check," said Lily. Then she pulled out her parchment and began unrolling it.

Now, a little explanation about this parchment. As the Gryffindors had been writing rather a lot over the past couple of days, the parchment had grown incredibly long. The Marauders had charmed it so that when rolled up it stayed the same size and the roll never got too large to handle, and it just continued to grow to make more room for writing. But that didn't mean the words disappeared at the top of the page or anything like that… it just meant that they were left with an incredibly long roll of parchment.

Lets just say… it took Lily at least five minutes to unroll the parchment to where she needed to, and that it spilled rather impressively all over the floor.

"Wow," said Sirius, eyes wide. "We wrote all that?"

"More than this," said Lily. "I've only gone back to this time yesterday."

"No way. And to think I always used to get a cramped hand after a twelve inch History of Magic essay."

"Shut up, Sirius," groaned Hestia, setting Remus off again.

Lily glanced up at her in annoyance.

"I am so not going after him, Hestia. I think that if I do the Fat Lady will have my head."

"Lily, she's a portrait."

"Your point?"

"But I can't go and get him," said Hestia smugly. "I have to stay with Sirius as per the chicken, and if Sirius comes with me-"

"Fine. Alice, you go."

"But-" Alice gaped.

"For the love of Merlin, Alice, just go," groaned James, rubbing his temples.

Alice groaned and headed out of the portrait hole.

"What on earth is going on in there?"

Alice turned in surprise to find that Lily had been right. The Fat Lady was standing in her frame with her arms crossed, an angry expression on her face.

"Er…"

"Poor Mr. Lupin has been running in and out for the past few hours, all the time tears streaming down his face. Why is that? What have you all being doing to him?"

"Well…" Alice paused. The Fat Lady had been at the entrance to the Gryffindor tower for centuries, so surely she could keep a secret, right? No, but she was a terrible gossip, everyone knew that… not to mention telling anyone outside The Game was against the rules…

But what if she didn't tell her? What if she already knew?

Alice remembered all the trouble they had been having with the Fat Lady. How she would be annoyed with them leaving in the night and bringing back strange objects…

Well, it would be nice to have an ally.

"My lady," started Alice, grinning when she saw the Fat Lady's obvious pleasure at being addressed such. "Have you ever noticed Sirius, James, Remus and Peter doing odd things around this time of the year before?"

The Fat Lady looked confused for a second as she thought it out. Then, suddenly, her face lit up in recognition.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Yes, okay, that explains a lot, thank you, Miss Prewett! Well, you'd better be off to collect Mr Lupin, then! He went that way, just down the corridor. I hope you have a good time!"

By the time Alice and Remus made it back into the common room (believe what you want, but getting through the portrait hole blindfolded is not the easiest thing in the world) Lily had finally found the section of the parchment she was looking for.

"Aha!" she exclaimed. "To answer your question Hestia, their dare finishes at dinner tomorrow."

"You know, I could have just told you that," said James, grinning.

"Then why didn't you?" growled Lily, rolling her miles of parchment back up and once again planning a murder.

"Well-"

Luckily, James was spared his life when the portrait door opened with a crash, revealing Frank. The seventh year Gryffindors all took one look at him then promptly burst out laughing.

Well, you know, all the seventh year Gryffindors other than Remus, who couldn't actually see, although that was quickly rectified as he took a quick peek and then joined in.

"Lily," growled Frank, "You are so dead."

This of course only served to make them all laugh harder.

You see, Frank had a little trouble getting the huge amount of food up the many flights of stairs, something that was clearly reflected in his appearance. He held his wand in his right hand, which was levitating most of the baskets and bowls, but him his left hand he carried several more. This arrangement worked fine for simply holding the objects, but it had rather impaired his vision…

Well, let's just say his hair was full of muffin crumbs, his face streaked with grease and his robes covered in what was most likely chocolate pudding but instead looked rather like something unfortunate.

"Oh, Frank," giggled Alice, "I don't think I could let you kill Lily. You see, she's kind of my friend and all."

"Kind of your friend?" gasped Lily. "I am insulted!"

"Okay, okay," sighed Alice. "You are my _best _friend. Happy now?"

"Immensely."

Frank groaned and carefully placed the food on the ground.

"Well," he said, "There you go, your highnesses. Dig in."

To his surprise, none of them moved.

"Is that hygienic?" asked James.

"What do you mean?" asked Frank.

"Well… all that food seems to have taken several trips over your face…"

"The man has a point," said Hestia.

"Oh, who cares," said Peter, diving right in. "Chocolate pudding!"

Remus quickly edged forward, then when he deemed it safe pulled off his blindfold and grabbed the slab of chocolate.

"I'm in heaven," he said, smiling happily. Well, he would be. The chocolate was larger than his head.

That broke the ice enough for everyone to dive right in and started grabbing the food they asked for.

"Oh, I love apples," sighed Hestia, picking it up. "And it isn't even bruised! Frank, how you managed that I'll-"

"Cushioning charm," grunted Frank.

"Oh. Well, I guess I do know. But thanks!"

"You guys are evil!" groaned Sirius, rolling around on the floor. "So, so very evil."

"Oh, sorry Pads," said James, waving a chicken leg under his nose. "Were you hungry?"

Sirius just groaned again in response.

_Remus, truth or dare? –F_

_Dare. –R_

_Go without chocolate until lunch time tomorrow. –F_

"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOO!"

_And on that happy note, I am going to go and have a shower. –F_

"I don't… I don't understand how that's happy," whispered Remus, staring mournfully at his giant bar of chocolate. He had only been able to take one bite. "Such a waste… such a waste."

"Not exactly," said James, grabbing the chocolate off him and taking a big bite. "Mmmm, delicious."

"Hey!"

"What are you going to do about it, huh Moony?"

"Oh, _shut up_, Prongs."

_Alice, truth or dare?_ _–R_

The moment that all the food was finished, the group decided to head up to their dormitories, as they all knew they were going to need as much sleep as possible.

"Well, night Sirius," said Hestia, kissing him on the cheek.

"_Hestia,_" snarled Lily as Remus, who had been whining abut the lack of chocolate anyway began to cry and once again ran from the room.

"Perhaps you should fetch him, darling," she said, smirking, "after all, you are sharing a bed tonight. I'll see you in the morning!" She blew Lily a kiss and then began up the steps.

"Oh no, not so fast," said Lily, a smirk of her own dancing across her face. "I believe you are unable to leave Sirius' side… I think you'll be joining me in the boy's room."

"WHAT!"

"Oh, sorry Hest. Did I forget to remind you?" asked Sirius, winking at her.

"Oh no, she knew," said Alice, "Remember, that was why I had to go and fetch Remus earlier."

"Ah yes," said Lily. "I remember that now. Don't you think you should go and get him this time, Hestia?"

Grumbling, Hestia stalked out of the portrait.

A few minutes later and they were all (including Remus) in their beds, although not all of them were completely comfortable. Remus and Lily were a little squashed but found they were able to get into the same positions as before without too much trouble. Sirius and Hestia on the other hand…

"Get off my arm!"

"Your arm? Get off _my_ arm, woman!"

"Do not call me-"

"And move your hair, for the love of Merlin it just went in my mouth."

"I thought you liked sharing beds with girls."

"Yeah, _double_ beds. This bed was made for one person!"

"That shouldn't-"

"I wasn't joking by the way. You seriously need to do something about your hair, it tastes weird."

"Well I can't sleep with it up, I get a headache-"

"Oh boo hoo."

"Did you just-"

"Why is it so bloody long?"

"I thought you liked it long!"

"Well I'm just going to have to reconsider, aren't I!"

"Why you little-"

"Hestia, my love, I assure you that there is nothing little about me."

"James, Frank, you are both going to die in the morning."

"Why does everyone want to kill me?"

"Shut up, Prongs."

"S- I mean, Padfoot, I swear, if you don't remove your arm from my chest right now-"

"But Hest-"

"I don't care, Sirius, that armor is heavy and HARD and by Merlin I swear that I will-"

"Hestia, there is no where else for me to put my arm!"

"Try _off_ the bed!"

"You are between me and the side of the bed!"

"The other side!"

"In case you hadn't noticed, my arms are on two different sides of my body."

"Bloody hell! And you complain about my hair-"

"It went in my mouth!"

"Well your hair is worse! It smells like… boy!"

"Well I should hope so!"

"Urgh! You are so infuriating-"

"Will the two of you SHUT UP!" yelled Frank. "I have had a hard day- I've had to fly around the great hall pretending to be mad, I have had my girlfriend announce that she is pregnant and I had to traverse the castle with a ton of food floating in front of me! I am tired and I need some sleep, and do not think that it is below me to cause you incredible pain! So I don't think it's in your best interest to continue with that argument!"

All was silent for a second.

Then, predictably, Sirius started to talk in that annoying type of whisper that always seems louder than a normal tone.

"I think we broke Frank."

"Shut _up,_ Padfoot!"

"Aye, aye, Captain Prongs."

_Whose turn is it? –P_

_Wormy, go to sleep before F murders you. –J_

_Hey, I made no noise! –P_

"OOOOWWWWW!"

_Quills make noise when you write. –H_

"SIRIUS, I SWEAR-"

"Sorry Frank! Really, I'm very sorry!"

"Just go to sleep."

_Merlin, woman, you did not need to just elbow me right _there_! –S_

_I needed to reach my parchment! And besides, YOU ARE WEARING ARMOR, YOU IDIOT. IT HURT ME MORE THAN YOU!–H_

_It's the prinicple, Hestia! That's my special spot! -S_

_For the love of Merlin...-H  
><em>

_And in order to end this dangerous argument…. And at risk of being AKed… FRANK! YOU SPEAK OF NOT WAKING PEOPLE UP AND THEN YOU GO AND YELL SIRIUS' NAME! –L_

_What… oh. Sorry Lils. –F_

_Right, well, you're on fetching duty. –L_

_Oh, man, Lils, you just made him angry… -S_

_No, it was my fault. I'll go get him. –F_

_YES! –L_

_Erm, Lil? –J_

_Sorry. Sleep deprived. –L_

_Right… -H_

_As sorry as I am to not be participating in your little soiree in the boy's dorm, I am beginning to think it is a good thing that it is a good thing I am here by myself. –A_

_What about Mary and Marlene? –L_

_You know full well what I meant. Well now, good night you lot… please refrain from saying/writing my name unless it is my turn. –A_

_Erm… it is your turn. –H_

_Really? Who asked? –A_

_Rem. –L_

_Oh great. Now I have to wait until Frank finds him. –A_

_Never fear, he's here! –S_

_You really did take that rhyming couplet thing way too seriously. –J_

_But I'm back. And now I'm sleeping. –F_

_Funny, you'd think he'd have stopped writing. –S_

_Shut it, Black! –F_

_Well, technically… -S_

_I mean it! –F_

_Shutting up! –S_

_So, Alice, what's your answer? –R_

_Truth. I'm tired. –A_

_What is the most violent thing you have ever done? –R  
><em>

_I once held a knife to Snape's neck. –A_

_Whoa…. Tell me more! –J_

_Sorry, I answered the question already… Sirius, T or D? –A_

_T. –S_

_Why are you such a prat? –A_

_Because if I wasn't everyone would love me so much and then there would be a world war between people fighting for my affection? –S_

_Dude, that's not an answer. That was a question. –A_

_Alice… he's avoiding the question because it's kind of personal. –J_

_Isn't that the point of the game? –A_

_Look, wouldn't you be a prat if you had grown up in that environment? –S_

_That's not an answer either. –A_

_Alice… -J_

_It's okay, Prongs. Alice, this is just the way I am, okay? Lets leave it at that. –S_

_Fine. –A_

_James, truth or dare? –S_

_Truth. –J_

_Who was your first crush? –S_

_Oooh, this looks good. LILY! –A_

_Bloody hell! –J_

_Aren't you supposed to be asleep? And why'd you wake me? –L_

_I agree with Alice... this is going to be good. –S_

_I don't see you answering James… -A_

… _-J_

_Come on, James, it can't possibly be that bad. –L_

_It wasn't Bellatrix Black, was it? –A_

_Oh, man, if it was you will be officially disowned, Prongs! –S_

_No, nothing like that… -J_

_Then who? –L_

_It was… it was… it was Gwyneth Matthews, alright! –J_

_Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up there. Gwyneth Matthews? _The_ Gwyneth Matthews? Chaser on the Holyhead Harpies 1971-1976? The one that Witch Weekly claimed was 'pretty, but the least sexiest member since Ugly Ursula in the 30s because she liked to read 'sci-fi' novels, whatever they are, and dress in baggy muggle clothing'? –S_

_Dude, she was hot, and I was nine. Besides, there is nothing wrong with liking to read! –J_

_Yeah James, we all know you like your girls to be bookworms. –A_

_Hey! –L_

_Plus, what is wrong with jeans? Nothing! –J_

_I have to agree with him on this one. –L_

_Dude, he is talking about his past crush! You are his girlfriend! You're supposed to be slapping him! –S_

_You heard him. He was nine. And she was Gwyneth Matthews… a Quidditch player and a _celebrity_. Like I have to worry. –L_

_I _know! _Oh MAN is this good blackmail material! –S_

_Pads, remember the rules… -J_

_Yeah, yeah, whatever. But R and P and F haven't seen this… and since they are in The Game… -S_

_Okay, okay. I'll stop teasing you about the food. –J_

_Done, but I am so not thanking you for the reminder. –S_

_Gee, thanks. –J_

The night passed much the same as the others, but with a few noticeable differences.

For one, the moment midnight passed Alice began to scrutinize everyone's words and begin telling people everything about them from who they were going to marry what they had for breakfast, with varying results.

Also, Sirius was up and out of bed the very second the clock hit twelve (tipping a very angry Hestia onto the floor as he did so) and rushing down to the kitchens. He later returned with a large basket of sandwiches and indigestion.

Most of the players went for truths, mainly because this being the third night they were beginning to get really tired. But… hey could continue to pick truth for ever.

_Remus, truth or dare. –J_

_T… oh damn it! Dare. –R_

_Okay, Moony… Well now, I can't help but notice that one of our friends has been missing out on all the fun, this year! So, I think we should involve him, don't you? –J_

_Prongs, just dare me. –R_

_Fine. Moony, I dare you to go and steal the sorting hat, and then place it on the head of one of the statues in the great hall, near the high table. Then you will charm it into being cheeky to the teachers. –J_

_Did I just read that right? I mean, I am very tired and all… -R_

_Moony. Do it. –J_

_Noooo! –R_

_Moony… -J_

_But… but… this isn't fair! You're making me steal another bloody hat! Why is it always me? –R_

* * *

><p><em>I think I can I think I can I think I can…<em>

Oh, who the hell was he kidding? This never worked, not for anyone.

Remus sighed and stared at the sight in front of him.

A stone gargoyle. The gargoyle, in fact, which guarded the entrance to the Headmasters Office.

_I am so dead._

That thought seemed to be a recurring theme amongst the seventh year Gryffindors the past few days, but hey, Remus had been having a very bad day.

Not only did he have to spend most of it pretending to be in love with one of his best mates, he then had to break up with said best mate, then he had to cry a whole lot and keep running out of the common room whilst wearing a blindfold – it went without saying that he had gained a whole new array of bruises – not to mention the fact that he was deprived of chocolate! Why, when he next got his hands on Frank…

Well, Frank had better watch out the next time it was a full moon. That's all he was saying.

No, Remus, bad thoughts. Put those away in the bad thought corner of your mind and focus on the mission at hand.

Oh dear god. He was starting to sound like Sirius.

And… even worse. Did he have to start crying when he _thought_ Sirius' name? He hoped not. If so he'd be crying until he was allowed to stop. When was that? Dinner. Less than twenty four hours to go.

_Stop it, Remus. Focus._

Right. So this was going to be a little tricky.

_A little tricky? Dude, that's like saying Lily's hair is a little red!_

Okay, so he had a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Sirius. This was not good. He should be admitted to a mental institution.

But, insane or not, the little voice had a point. He knew the password, but he was pretty sure Dumbledore had some form of detection device that allowed him to know when people where entering his office.

He knew that Sirius and James had done it before, but he had never had too. In seven years of this infernal game, would you believe it was his first time?

Whoops, that came out wrong.

_Come on, Moony, use your smarts!_

Okay… that was a little creepy. But whatever. It had point.

_So I know the password… and I know Dumbledore knows when people come up to see him because he always seems to know when we get sent to see him, even if it is the idle of the night…_

_Wait. When we get sent to see him._

_When we are going in there specifically to _see him_._

_What if I don't want to see him? What if I am going into Dumbledore's office for a completely different reason… Surely teachers go in to collect things… right?_

Feeling a little bit more confident – only a little bit, mind you – Remus stepped a little closer to the gargoyle.

"Peanut butter cups… and don't bother telling Dumbledore I'm here, I'm only going to fetch something."

Remus swore the gargoyle looked at him suspiciously (can stones look suspicious?) but it let him in anyway.

After that it was easy. All he had to do was walk into the room, grab the hat and then walk back out.

The thing didn't even put up a fight. It was so much easier than getting McGonagall's hat that it wasn't even funny. The gargoyle didn't even look suspicious when he left!

He used all the old techniques to avoid prefects and patrolling teachers – he had been doing this for so long he didn't even need the map, it was almost instinctual to duck into an alcove at the sound of footsteps or the raspberries that always gave away Peeves – and he managed to make it to the Great Hall in no time. Once there he could stop worrying, as no one ever patrolled in there. What was the point? No one every snuck in (apart from the Marauders to set pranks, but no one needed to know that) and it didn't lead anywhere.

So this was where Remus decided to charm the hat.

Unfortunately, this was where Remus discovered that the damn thing _couldn't _be charmed.

"What was that!" he wheezed, trying not to inhale the blue smoke that his spell had caused.

"Insolence!" cried the hat. "Why, to think that you would try to enchant such a hat as me-"

"But aren't you enchanted already? I thought that was how you talked."

"But to try and enchant me more? Why would a student such as- Oh. It's you."

Remus frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You and your friends have inconvenienced me much over the past seven years! Why, in your first year you swapped me for a helmet on one of the coats of armour-"

"That was-"

"Then the year after you stole me and hid me in a closet-"

"But I-"

"You tried to make me sort that _dreadful_ cat into Slytherin-"

"Don't you-"

"And another time you gave me to Peeves because _he_ wanted to be sorted!"

"You don't understand-"

"Not to mention the time I was left in the greenhouses for a _week_-"

"And once-"

"Please stop!" hissed Remus.

"I am only pointing out how many times you and your friends have inconvenienced me!"

"Inconvenienced? I would have thought you'd enjoy a little adventure after living in the same room for centuries!"

"Come up with such long songs that rhyme and actually make sense is very difficult, you know!"

"You could just recycle old ones."

"A fallacy!"

"But if they were fifty or a hundred years old no one would know."

"Nor would anyone understand. Languages change you know."

"Okay, point taken."

"Good, no return me to my post!"

"Actually, I don't think I will."

"What!"

"Look, I think we can both benefit from this situation."

"I don't think you are thinking straight, young man."

"I think I am."

"What do you propose?"

Remus quickly explained what he wanted the hat to do.

"And what is in it for me?"

"If you do this, I will make sure you are not a part of a Marauder prank or dare for the rest of your, er, existence."

"Hmmm…"

"So? What do you think?"

"I think that I definitely put you in the right house, Mr Lupin."

"So is that a yes?"

"Dumbledore will be suspicious. He knows I can't be charmed."

It was like a little _click!_ went off in Remus' brain. James really was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. When he'd said 'charm' he didn't mean the magical kind.

Well, Remus just hoped bribery counted as charm.

Probably not, but hopefully James didn't need to know about the bribe. They normally only used the hat once a year so they didn't annoy it too much, and this was their _last_ year.

"It's fine," said Remus. "He can't punish you anyway."

"I am not afraid of that," said the hat. "But I am not sure that I am so undignified to do as you wish."

"None of the students will know you can't be charmed," argued Remus, "And all of the teachers will know you are not acting normally."

"Fine," snarled the hat. It was very odd to hear a hat make such a noise.

A long ladder and a couple of minutes later, Remus was rushing back through the portrait hole. For some reason, the Fat Lady was acting very civil, even though it was two in the morning.

_Back. –R_

_Erm, is anyone else awake? –R_

_Guess not. Okay, Hestia, T or D? –R_

_Oh darn. Okay, T please. –H_

_What did the sorting hat actually say to you? –R_

The hat may or may not have been the only thing on his mind (other than sleep) after his dare.

_Seriously? How personal is that? –H_

_Be glad I am asking when we are the only ones awake… especially since J and S are sleeping. –R_

_True. Okay, at first it wasn't sure where to put me… I was apparently not trusting and forgiving enough to be put in Hufflepuff and although I was smart I did not work hard enough and did not have enough self discipline to be a Ravenclaw. It considered Slytherin, since I am apparently vain and again with the non forgiveness… but I didn't want to go to Slytherin so I got put in Gryffindor. –H_

_Hest, you are a true Gryffindor. Standing up to the thing is pretty brave, I know. It can be scary. –R_

_Remus… -H_

_Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about the Slytherin thing. Although, I don't think any of them would care. –R_

_Thanks. –H_

_No problem. Now, if you don't mind, I will be going to sleep. –R_

_Of course. James, T or D. –H_

_T. –J_

_Okay… what do you think would have happened if you hadn't gotten together with L? –H_

_That's a really hard question. –J_

_Yeah, well, as L's best friend I kind of want to know. –H_

_Sure… hmm, give me a second to think. –J_

_Sure thing. –H_

_Seconds up. –H_

_Man, Hest, just a moment! –J_

_You have extreme misconceptions about time. –H_

_Shut up, I'm thinking! –J_

_Well now, that's just rude. –H_

_Okay… here we go. I know that if I were not with Lily right now, I would still be fighting for her. I know I toned down the asking out at the beginning of this year, but I _was_ still trying to make her like me. Then, at the end of the year… I suppose we wouldn't really have seen each other much, because she used to hate me. But if you and Pads were still together we might have done, as he's my best friend and you're hers. I would have tried to be at least friends with her – I might have succeeded too, seeing as we seemed to be going that way at the beginning of the year before we got together. I suppose Lily would have found a guy that was good for her and made her happy, and that would have… satisfied me, I suppose. It wouldn't have made me happy, but… As for me, I don't really know. Maybe I would have found someone else, maybe not. After wanting her for so long, I know I wouldn't have been able to forget her, and it would have been hard to move on. But thankfully I don't have to consider all of this, at least not now. I sincerely hope with all my heart that it doesn't happen and that I never need to know the true answer. –J_

_Awww, that is exactly the kind of answer the best friend wants to hear. –H_

_Also exactly the kind of answer the girlfriend wants to hear. –L_

_What. The. Hell. –J_

_Oh this is GOLD! –H_

_You are supposed to be asleep! –L_

_Well, look at how many times you just said my name, dimwit! –L_

_Oh. Hehe. –J_

_But anyway, that was really sweet, James. If I weren't in R's bed I would go and kiss you. –L_

_Oh, thanks for the reminder of your current position. –J_

_Position, huh? –H_

_Hestia, you have a sick, sick mind. –L_

_I'm going out with S, what did you expect? And okay, I'm off to sleepy time now, even if there is no room in this bloody bed. Nighty night… for now, anyway. –H_

_Night Hest. –L_

_And since you are awake… actually no, Alice T or D? –J_

_Night then, James. –L_

_Night Lils. –J_

_It is to early, James! Can't I go back to sleep? –A_

_Nope. –J_

_The squiggle at the end of the letter 'e' indicates that you are tired. –A_

_Your skills of deduction amaze me. –J_

_I also detect a hint of sarcasm. You are annoyed at me. –A_

_Amazing. –J_

_And the way you have shaped your 'g'… do you have a pet goldfish named Greg? –A_

_Nope. –J_

_I didn't think so. The point of your 'A' proves that. –A_

_ANYWAY, Alice, your answer. –J_

_For the love of Merlin do not let S see that you wrote that word. And T. –A_

_He swore not to do that anymore. And I want to know the details of when you held a knife to Snape's neck. –J_

_That wasn't a question. –A_

_You don't need a question to give the truth. –J_

_You do, however, need a question to give an answer. –A_

_Not necessarily. An answer can be given to many things… a letter, for example, can contain no questions and still be answered. –J_

_But why would you need to send an answer if it had no questions in it? –A_

_Fine then. A political speech can be answered. I am answering you in the argument. –J_

_Ah, but I just asked a question. –A_

_I am way too tired for this. –J_

_Either way, my point still stands. In this context, you must rephrase your statement into a question. –A_

_Fine. Could you _please_ tell me the circumstances which led to you holding a knife to Snape's neck? –J_

_I do have that capability, yes. –A_

_No, that isn't what I meant! –J_

_Too bad, I have answered your question. Sirius, T or D? –A_

_Damn it. –J_

_There is no way I am getting up again. T. –S_

_I WILL GET IT OUT OF YOU EVENTUALLY! And goodnight, by the way. –J_

_Night, Prongs. –S_

_Okay Sirius, what did your mother call you when you were younger? You see, I have been hearing rumours… -A_

_My mother was a pureblood supremist who believed it was disrespectful to call a person by anything other than their full name. –S_

_Bit of a shame then, seeing as all the Slytherins call Bellatrix 'Bella'. Bt you haven't answered my question… -A_

_Damn. Okay, fine… 'Siri-Wiri'… but only when it was just me and her. –S_

_Siri-Wiri? –A_

_I am going to MURDER Regulus! –S_

_You are displaying symptoms of a violent nature… -A_

_Oh, go back to sleep, Alice. Hestia, T or D? –S_

_Man, I was just awake! –H_

_I know, we share a bed. I heard your watch screaming earlier, and I am sure you heard mine. I knew you were awake. –S_

_I am conflicted as to whether you are more considerate than J. You just insulted me and yet… -A_

_Just sleep, Alice. –H_

_Fine. –A_

_D please. But remember… if I have to get out of my bed you will be staying awake with me. –H_

_Hey, it is actually my bed, so…-S_

_Sirius…-H_

_Fine, fine. Hest, in the moring, when you wake up _properly_, I want you to cut your hair short, no more than two inches long. –S_

_This is about earlier isn't it. –H_

_You bet. –S_

_I hate you. –H_

_I know. –S_

_Fine. James, T or D. –H_

_Again? –J_

_Just answer the damn question, I am not in a good mood right now. –H_

_Are any of us? And D. I have to. –J_

_Awesome. James, I have the best dare for you. –H_

_Uh oh. –J_

_It will start in the morning. –H_

_Oh, thanks you! I love you, Hestia Jones. –J_

_You won't be saying that when you hear what the dare is. –H_

_Oh dear Merlin, help me. -J_

* * *

><p><strong>So I nearly ended this when James gave Remus his dare but then one of my friends (who you all met a couple of chapter back) cheerfully told me that if I did I would wake up in the morning without a head. Not sure how that works, but the message was clear.<strong>

**Also, sorry for the Twilight thing... I know it wasn't around during this time but hey, that kind of went out the window with the quotes in the first couple of chapters. Besides, you have to admit that it fit. Also, yes, I know, Arrow reference. So sue me.  
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**Acknowledgements:**

**~MakingMarauderMischief came up with the idea of asking James who is first crush was... and this idea has not been finished. It so will be, though.**

**~XAnnoymousXWriterX thought of the truth (given to Hestia) of what the sorting hat said to her when she was sorted.**

**~bambiaj99 thought that one of the girls (also Hestia) should say that Professor Binns was the most attractive teacher**

**~EC Scrubb came up with the magic that is placing the sorting hat in the great hall (Remus)... obviously, this has not been finished yet either. It will get it's glory at breakfast.**

**~random4ever suggested making Lily sleep in Remus' bed AGAIN**

**~Louise Foxhall and Hellfire Putten Ninja suggested making Remus go without chocolate. Genius, right? Doesn't all this make it seem like pick on Remus day?**

**~thebritishone came up with the idea of having one of the girls (Alice) pretend to be Sherlock Holmes. This also isn't finished. (By the way, _Doctor Who_ so stole my idea! Well, okay, not really. I was going to do something similar though! But here, I acknowledge that the Doctor's impression of Sherlock Holmes was my inspiration for this part.) I haven't actually read the books - I have only watched the movies and _Sherlock_, so you'll have to bear with me on that one.  
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**~WobblyJelly thought up the James truth about what he thought would happen if he wasn't with Lily AND Sirius' truth about what his mother called him AND Alice's truth about the most violent thing she's ever done. Yes, James is going to harp on about that for a little longer.**

**~weasley-girl-who-rocks came up with Sirius' truth about why he is such a prat.**

**~ PenBeatsSword suggested that Hestia chop her hair off. **

**Aaaanndddd that's it!**

**Hopefully the next chapter will not be too long in coming, but it will definitely not be as long as this wait was. **I hope you are all having a great day, people!****

****Also, one more thing. You might have noticed this, but... I NEED MORE STUFF FOR PETER! Please, guys? Especially truths... I know he isn't everyone's favorite character but I can't just ignore him...****


	18. Hurts and Hallelujah

**So this is short and contains nothing major... if you must know, it was actually going to be just the introduction to the next chapter. Then it got longer. And longer. And longer. Eventually, it was looking like the next chapter was going to be over 20,000 words long, so I thought I'd better just post this now and give you the next bit in a few days, when I get around to finishing it. Thank you to all of you who reviewed, we got 30 from the last chapter alone! Amazing! **

**Also, special shout out to _Of All The Choices_ who I believe has given me the longest review I have ever recieved - what was it, 982 words? ;) Also, sorry to those of you who I wasn't able to reply to, I have been swamped in essays the past few days - be very glad I am the queen of procrastination and wrote this when I got bored (basically every two minutes.) But, I will be returning to replying to reviews (the ones that give me suggestions, anyway) now, so heads up! As some people can attest to, I tend to get chatty. But you may have noticed anyway. I will move on now...  
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**So, enjoy! Hopefully the next one will be up soon!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, whether that be from Harry Potter or somewhere those really weird words you've never seen before? Yeah, that's probably just my bad typing skills. Sorry! I'm checking it once, I'm checking it twice, I'm gonna find out if it's okay or completely messy...  
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* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

EARLY THURSDAY MORNING: Hurts and Hallelujah

Hestia stared at the object in Sirius' hands, her eyes wide in horror.

"Come on, Hest," said Sirius, waving it under her face. "It's not hard – it won't hurt, either."

"It will hurt my pride… and my good looks."

"Hestia," sighed James, shaking his head. "I never thought I'd see the day that you would become like Padfoot. You know those words sound just like him, right?"

"He's right, you've been hanging out with him way too much," added Lily.

Sirius simply smirked and shoved his hands closer to her, causing Hestia to groan.

"Why?"

"I dared you, plain and simple."

"You only said 'In the morning', though, so does that mean I can wait a few more hours?"

"We'll be in class then, and Remus will be awake… no, it would be best to do it now."

"No!"

"For heavens sake, Hestia," groaned Lily, "Do you _want_ to do a chicken?"

"Lily!"

"I'm only stating what would happen if you didn't do it, Hest."

"Well no, actually you asked-"

"Shut up, Sirius!"

"Merlin, please control your woman, James!"

"Sirius Black, I swear-"

"Shh, Lily!"

"Don't you shush me-"

"No, really," interrupted James, sensing yet another Lily-Sirius argument of epic proportions. "He's only worried that you're going to wake Remus. We don't want him running out again, do we?"

Lily groaned, finding her self forced to admit that James was right – she'd never say it out loud, though.

"Whatever. But my point still stands, Hestia – you _have_ to do it."

"Remus always finds loopholes… why can't I?"

"Because you, my dear, are so smart we always make sure we don't leave loopholes. We never expect Remus to actually find them, you see," said Sirius, clearly sucking up.

It didn't work.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"Technically," said Sirius, "If your hair had not been in my face there would have been no need-"

"We really need to teach you the proper meaning of the word 'technically,'" sighed Lily.

"It's a Muggle word, Lily," sneered Hestia, "And as such Sirius would not understand. He doesn't care about anyone other than himself."

"Now hang on!"

"GUYS!" interrupted James. "Please. Hestia, just go through with your dare unless you really do want a chicken and Pads, please lay off."

"I can't do it though!" groaned Hestia, putting her face in her hands. "This is just too far!"

"Come on, Hest," said Lily, patting her on the back. "You can always grow it back later."

"I still hate you, Sirius," she groaned.

"It's too early in the morning for girlfriend drama," said Sirius, groaning himself.

"That was not a very smart thing to say," said Lily, watching as Hestia stalked out of the dorm.

To be fair, Sirius did have a point – it was only four AM after all, way too early to be doing anything other than sleeping (because in the context of last minute assignments, four AM was considered 'late' in any students' mind – the only time it is _not_ early.) Anyway, despite the hour Sirius, James, Hestia and Lily had been unable to sleep – Sirius and Hestia both because of Sirius' armour, Lily because Remus seemed to be having a nightmare and was kicking and James because Sirius had recently given him a truth and he was unable to go back to sleep with the other three chatting.

"Whatever," said Sirius, "She'll come round, she's just tired. Merlin, we're _all_ tired. Who started this damned game, anyways?"

"That would be you, Pads," sighed James.

"Oh. Right."

"Idiot," said Lily.

"Oi! Don't you go judging me! I would like to see you wear a bloody suit of armour for hours and hours and not be grumpy!"

"I thought the mighty Sirius Black was supposed to be continually happy?"

"Who on earth told you that? Bloody fool."

"Sirius!"

"What?"

"Seriously, guys," groaned James, rubbing his temples and shooting Sirius a glare as he opened his mouth to reply. That joke was really getting old. "Stop. You really are going to wake Remus."

"Hmph. Well, I am hungry, so I will be going to the kitchens," said Sirius.

"How can you be hungry after all the food you stuffed down your throat four hours ago?" asked Lily.

"I put an undetectable extension charm on my stomach."

It was impossible to tell whether he was being serious or not, so Lily settled for simply rolling her eyes and then following him out the door.

"So," said James, slightly jogging to catch them up in the corridors. "Who's turn is it exactly? The parchment has been quiet for a while."

"I thought it was Alice's turn," said Lily. "Lucky girl, getting to sleep in a dorm with none of the other players. She'll be the best rested out of all of us."

"I still can't believe what Hestia is making me do," groaned James.

"Yeah, well, suck it up Prongs," growled Sirius, "At least you aren't encased in a metal tin."

"You have to admit though, it is pretty funny, especially when you had to bow to Alice all the time."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is too!"

"Aha! You just agreed with me!"

"What? No! That always works – I say 'is too' then you get confused and say 'is not' and then I win!"

"Not this time Pads. I win. End of."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"And you just did it AGAIN!"

"So not cool, Prongs. So not cool."

"Honestly, you guys," sighed Lily, "You are going to wake up every teacher within a fifty mile radius."

"But we're okay," said Sirius, "Because you two were on patrol and caught me sneaking to the kitchens and took loads of house points off me and are currently escorting me back to Gryffindor tower. So there is absolutely no need for any of us to get points taken off or do detention or anything else of the sort."

"You know, that might work on any teacher with less than two brain cells," said Lily.

"I know! Genius right – they'll never know what hit them!"

Lily found herself rolling here eyes yet again.

Thankfully, the boys didn't have the time to do anything else weird before Sirius' watch heated up.

_Sirius, T or D? –A_

_Seeing as I am up and about I will have to say… DARE! –S_

_Up and about, hmm? May I deduce that you are headed towards the kitchens? –A_

_You may. –S_

_Ah. Right then. Well, I dare you to turn the entrance hall into an ice skating rink, and then while you are in the kitchens convince the elves to skate on it while everyone is coming down in the morning. –A_

_Ooooh, this sounds like fun! Thank you Miss Holmes, Sir! –S_

"Was she being serious?" asked Lily, looking up from her own parchment.

"Well, yeah," said James, starting to get excited. "She wouldn't have dared him to do that, otherwise. This is going to be AWESOME!"

"I know," said Sirius, smirking. "So Mr Prongs, are you willing to help me in this venture?"

"Oh, I think I will, Mr Padfoot."

Then, both the Marauders turned simultaneously and asked:

"Lily?"

She was somehow reminded of the hyenas from _The Lion King, _even though the situation was completely different.

Shaking that thought out of her head when she realised that would make her, Ed, the dumb one, she figured it would be best to give an answer.

"Do I have a choice?" Well, sort of an answer.

"No," said Sirius.

"Of course!" said James.

"Right," sighed Lily.

"Oh good, you'll do it then!" exclaimed Sirius.

"But I didn't-"

"You said 'right', which is pretty close to 'all right', which in turn kind of means 'okay' which is often used as an affirmative when asked if you wish to do something. Ergo, you are going to turn the entrance hall into an ice skating rink with us."

"But-"

"Nuh uh, too late to change your mind, missy."

"But I didn't-"

"Come on, guys, we've got a hall to freeze!"

All in all, that first bit wasn't too hard, although it was time consuming. Sirius cast an aguamenti charm to flood the hall, James controlled where the water did and didn't go (basically spread evenly all over the floor) and then Lily used a simple freezing charm. Once the ice was thick enough, they smoothed it over with yet another simple charm and then they were done. They put out the torches in the hall to stop the heat from melting the ice, but other than that no other charms needed to be done, as the whole castle was practically freezing anyway due to the fact that it was nearly Christmas, and with the ice in the room the whole thing was like a giant esky.

Not that any of the purebloods would know what an esky was, mind, but Lily thought the comparison was quite good.

Then came the hard bit.

"So," said Sirius.

James stifled a laugh.

Sirius was currently standing one of the tables with an army of confused house elves staring up at him, most of them looking rather annoyed.

House elves have to sleep too, you know, and they had been kept up pretty late by a different Gryffindor – who was equally as annoying – who seemed to want a feast before he went to bed.

But then again, this was the Marauders. Even the house elves had learned what to expect.

"So. I have a favour to ask of all of you."

"What would master Sirius like?" asked Trippy. "Éclairs? Treacle tart? Vanilla slice? Caramel brownie? Chocolate pudding?"

"Er, none of those," he said. "Actually, those brownies sound great, could I have one? But that isn't what I was talking about originally – ah, thanks Midge. Great brownie, guys! But no, what I was talking about is… well… how many of you guys know how to ice skate?"

* * *

><p><em>Lily, T or D? –S<em>

_Seriously? –L_

_Pads, I swear… -J_

_Well now, you shouldn't swear, bad manners and all. –S_

_Oh, very funny. –J_

_But anyway Lils, yes seriously. We are all awake after all. –S_

_And in the kitchen stuffing our faces. You, Lily, are the ones that said we shouldn't be allowed to speak out loud. –J_

_Well, you shouldn't be. And I say truth. –L_

_BORING. –S_

_Get on with it! –L_

_Fine. I know that when we first met you and you were talking to Snivellus, you said you wanted to be in Slytherin, right? –S_

_Sirius… -L_

_What? –S_

_You know, I always thought it was ridiculous the way you call him 'Snivellus'. Personally, I think the name 'Sirius' is closer to 'Snivellus' than 'Severus.' Think about it. –L_

_Snivellus… Sirius… Severus… Snivellus…Sirius… Snivellus-Severus-Snape. No, I do not agree. –S_

_And Sirius, your question was..? –J_

_Ah yes. Lily, my question is did you really want to be in Slytherin? No, wait – before you were sorted, which house did you want to be in? –S_

_Well… yes, I did want to be in Slytherin. I did not know anything about the different houses before I came to Hogwarts – nothing more than what Snape had told me, anyway, and of course he always put Slytherin in a good light. Plus, Sev was my only friend, the only person I knew going into the school. Where else would I want to be? So my answer is that the house I wanted to be in when coming to Hogwarts was Slytherin. –L_

_You know what… that makes sense. –J_

_You have matured much since first year. –L_

_Why thank you. –J_

_I still don't see how you could ever want to be a Slytherin. –S_

_Surely _you_ wanted to be one, though, what with your family. Not that that has any bearing on you, it's just what you grew up with. –L_

_No way. –S_

_Not even when you were very young, before you saw that what your family did and the way they thought was wrong? –L_

…_-S_

_Thought so. –L_

_I still can't believe it of you, though. I was indoctrinated. –S_

_Exactly. We were essentially in the same situation, except that you had means to realise that what the Sltyherins thought was wrong, and you met some one who you considered a friend who was likely to be put in Gryffindor. Of course you didn't want to be in Slytherin by then. –L_

_Whatever. –S_

_This conversation is going nowhere. (And, by the way, am I the only one surprised that Sirius knows words like 'indoctrinated'?) –J_

_Agreed. (And no, you are not.) –L_

_So let's change the subject. Have any of you noticed that Wormtail has been able to sleep for an awful long time tonight? (And I can read whether writing is in brackets or not, you know. Besides, you have to agree that that word was an important concept for me.) –S_

_Well, that can be easily remedied. Peter, T or D? –L_

…_-S_

…_-J_

_Wakey, wakey, Peter… -S_

_Oh, hey guys. Sorry. What time is it? –P_

_Just before five. –L_

_Whoa…. I was actually able to sleep that long? –P_

_I know, man, so unfair. Now answer the lady's question. –S_

_Oh, I'm a lady now am I? Thank you, Sir knight. –L_

_I am going to take that as an insult, both because I hate this infernal armour AND because I feel like you are comparing me to Sir Cadogan. –S_

_You have serious issues. –L_

_I know. They're called James, Remus and Peter – do you have any idea on how to remedy this? –S_

_Watch it, Pads…-J_

_Aw, Prongs, you're so touchy! –S_

_Bloody hell, when I said 'touchy' that was not an invitation to thump me like that! Merlin, Prongs! –S_

_Sorry, that's what it seemed like it me. Loud and clear, like one of those giant glowy signs the Muggles have – "HIT ME, PRONGS, I'M BLOODY WELL ASKING FOR IT!" –J_

_You really need to work on your vocabulary. –S_

_Those 'giant glowy signs' are called neon signs. Does that help? –L_

_That isn't exactly what I meant. –S_

_Anyway, my answer is T, I've been enjoying my bed tonight. –P_

_Too much info, bro. –S_

_You have a sick, sick mind. –L_

_Why thank you. –S_

_It wasn't a compliment. –L_

_Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. –S_

_And that proverb does not fit here. –L_

_What is a proverb? Is it like a sort of person? Can you even _be_ 'pro' verbs? What, like a person who's into grammar? Sounds like Remus. –S_

_I give up. –L_

_Good! –S  
><em>

_Peter, who do you want to have your children? –L_

_Oh, never mind Lils, I like you again. –S_

_Good! –L_

_Um, I would have to say Rachel Little. –P_

_That's that fifth year Ravenclaw Prefect you keep following around! –J_

_Peter! –L_

_What? I thought that was what most people did – I mean, Prongs did it. Speaking of; Prongs, T or D? –P_

_WHAT? –L_

_T, Wormy, T, and for the love of Merlin be quick! –J_

_Oh, Lily you have to listen to this, it is HILARIOUS. Prongs, if you had a cat what would you call it? –P_

_How is that hilarious? And James, DO NOT think I am forgetting what Peter just said. –L_

_Trust me, Lily, Wormy knows what he's doing. We asked him before and… well… you know… -S_

_Right… -L_

_Seriously, Wormtail, what on earth do you think I'd call it? I would call it a cat. What did you expect, for me to call it a dog? –J_

_No, That isn't what I meant! I mean what would you _name_ it! –P_

_Well, be more specific next time. Hestia, T or D? –J_

_Damn it James, I just got back to sleep! T. –H_

_Are you telling me that your tantrum was just to get us out of the dorm? –S_

_I am not telling you anything. –H_

_She didn't get angry when I said she had a tantrum… Yep, that was definitely your plan. –S_

_So what if it was? It worked didn't it? Oh, and by the way my hair is now short. Now, James, give me my truth or you will wake up tomorrow morning to find yourself dead. –H_

_But wouldn't I just not wake up? –J_

_The intent is there, James. –H_

_Whatever. Hestia, I want to know… what was the first time that you ever wanted to get with Padfoot? –J_

_Oooh, I want to hear this. –S_

_I know you do. –J_

_So unfair. –H_

_And we have Lily here to make sure you tell the truth. –S_

_Do you seriously assume that girls really do talk to each other about EVERYTHING? –H_

… _Yes? -S_

_Yeah, whatever. Not like the parchment would let me lie anyway. –H_

_And your answer is..? -J_

_Third year. When Sirius stood up for me in front of those Ravenclaws who were laughing about my hair. –H_

_Did you think I looked all hot when I was in charge, Hest? –S_

_No. I just realised you might not just be a complete Slytherin hating jerk and could actually just be trying to stop them as bullies. Of course that all went out the window a week later and then I didn't even look at you again until fifth year. –H_

_Ouch, that hurt. –S_

_The truth _does_ hurt, Sirius. And for that, T or D? –H_

_Dude, I just went! –S_

_You are awake, and I am going to be nice enough to not wake up someone else. And I am so not a dude. If you haven't noticed by now there is seriously something wrong with you. –H_

_Perhaps there is. And fine, because I am not a bunch of cowards like you, I will be going for dare. –S_

_Ouch, Sirius, you wound me. Really, it hurt. –H_

_The truth _does_ hurt, Hest. –S_

_Oh, burn! –J_

_Sirius, I dare you to punch James in the face for me. –H_

_Oh, I like that one! –S_

_Oh, I so do not! –J_

"Sirius," said Lily, "Before you do this can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, Lils," he said, smirking, "What do you want?"

"She wants you to not punch me," interrupted James, "Because she loves me so much she wants no harm to come to me!"

"Actually," sighed Lily, "I was going to tell Sirius that he could hit as hard as he wants, but if he could please avoid the nose? I'm only with James for the good looks and if that nose becomes crooked I just might have to find someone else, and it takes such an awful long time to train one…"

"Lily!"

"Oh, I can do that, my dear," said Sirius. "Prongsie, turn to the side a little, would you? I need a good aim at that jaw of yours."

"Padfoot!"

"I know you love me all so much, Prongs, but there is no need to yell out my name like that, the house elves might get scarred for life! Do you reckon you can stay quiet during this? I know it will be _hard_, because I am so awesome-"

"Padfoot, I swear-"

"I know, but you don't have to _right now_-"

"Sirius, get on with it, please, I want to enjoy this," said Lily.

"Okay, well, you two can stay here and enjoy each other, I'm just going to-"

"Prongs, do you even realise what you just said?"

"Oh for the love of-"

"And _what_ did we just say about swearing?"

"Lily!" cried James, grabbing her arm and moving away from Sirius. "He's going to kill me!"

"No he isn't," sighed Lily, "If he kills you I'll have to kill him."

"I knew you loved me, Lils!"

"No, that's not why. I told you, it takes way too long to train a new boyfriend."

"Oi!"

"Besides," added Sirius, "You are my best mate. Hest is making me do this."

"Bloody Hestia," groaned James, "Honestly, how many time has _she_ tried to kill me this past week? I've lost count!"

"James Potter, stop being so depressed," said Lily, whacking him over the head. (_"Ouch woman, how many hits can I take before I die? You _just said _you didn't want that!"_) "Honestly, what is with you lot today? Where is all that bloody Marauder cheer?"

"Marauder cheer?" asked Siirus. "What on earth is Marauder cheer?"

"I give up," groaned Lily.

"I love it when you say that," said Sirius in a sing song voice.

"And there's that cheer," sighed James.

"Yeah, but now it's just annoying," said Lily.

"Right then," said Sirius, "Down to business. Prongs, step away from the girlfriend."

"Oh, is that all I am now? 'The Girlfriend'?"

"Fine. Prongs, step away from _your_ girlfriend. Is that better?"

"Marginally."

"Why, Padfoot?" asked James.

"Do you want her caught in the crossfire?" Sirius deadpanned.

"I don't want there to be a crossfire at all."

"Fine, I won't give you a right cross. Happy?"

"Very."

_WHAM!_

"OW! What the hell, Padfoot?! You said you wouldn't give me a right cross!"

"That, my friend, was a right _hook_."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"You will pay for this."

"Why are you wanting to make me pay for this? Hestia made me do it. Besides, you can't ask me now, but you can ask…"

"But it isn't my turn at all!"

"Well now, that's easily remedied, isn't it?"

_James, T or D. –S_

_T. –J_

_Favourite colour? –S_

_Red. –J_

"See? Done," said Sirius. "Now, off you go…"

"But what if I-"

"Remember who it was that punched you, Prongs."

"You."

"No, it wasn't me."

"I have a bruise the exact size and shape of your fist on my jaw."

"Actually," interceded Lily, "The bruise hasn't come up yet, you'll have to wait a little while for that."

"My point still stands, though, it was Padfoot who punched me."

"No, I was just the puppet. It might have been my fist, but Hestia was the one pulling the strings."

"But-"

"I was dared, Prongs. You remember that pact we made first year?"

"The one where we promised not to blame each other for dares?"

"That's the one."

"But by that logic I can't even blame-"

"Hest was never a part of hat pact, though, was she?"

"If you think you are going to talk me into this…"

"Aw, come on, man, you want this just as much as I do!"

"No way."

"Yes way."

"Pads, Hest has already threatened to kill me within the last ten minutes and then she had me punched in the face."

"Aha! So you are accepting that it was her?"

"I hate you."

"You said that already."

_Hestia, T or D. –J_

"Now that's more like it," grinned Sirius.

_Aw, James, seriously? –H_

_I have a big bruise on my jaw that I don't like so much. –J_

_Well, technically…-S_

_Sirius…-L_

_Sorry. –S_

_So, what'll it be? –J_

_I say dare. –H_

_Bad move, Hest. He's not so happy at the moment. You should have heard the conversation we just had. –S_

_Well, I didn't did I? This is all your fault. –H_

_I have absolutely no idea how you figured that out. Your brain works in strange ways. –S_

_No, just differently from yours. And you didn't warn me. –H_

_You should have figured it out! –S_

_Hestia, I dare you to turn your hair hot pink until the end of The Game. –J_

_What is it with everyone wanting to mess with my hair? –H_

_Now you REALLY sound like Sirius. –L_

_Oh boo hoo. Whatever. Peter, T or D? –H_

_D. I'm pretty sure I'm out of truths. –P_

_Peter I dare you to take a trip to the owlery…-H_

_(Well, that aint so bad.) –S_

_(She isn't finished, she's just building up suspense.) –L_

_(Oh.) –S_

_In rat form. –H_

_Uh… -P_

_Dude, that is potentially fatal! –S_

_WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT CALLING ME A DUDE? –H_

_I think it's a great dare. –J_

_Great dare, yes. Great idea, no. –P_

_Great on all accounts… you're good at running away, Wormy! –S_

_You just did a bit of a one eighty. –L_

_I do not understand that reference. –S_

_I am not sure whether to take your previous comment as a compliment or an insult, Padfoot. –P_

_Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. –S_

_Will you stop saying that? –L_

_Nope. –S_

_And when will I have to do this dare? –P_

_Let's say break, shall we? –H_

_Deal. –P_

_This is going to be great! Can we watch? –S_

_You want to watch me get eaten by a pack of ravenous birds? –P_

_Yeah. –S  
><em>

_That is just… -P_

_Supportive? What sort of friend would I be if I weren't there until the end? –S_

_Strangely I do not think that is what's REALLY going through your mind right now… -P_

_Since when did you become so perceptive? –S_

_You are seriously not hard to read. –P_

_Aha! I see what you did there, Wormtail. –J_

_Yeah, Prongs, _your_ handwriting on the other hand… -P_

_Ouch. You wound me. Deeply. I'm bleeding. –J_

_Good, I won't be the only one. Now, if you do not mind, I will be going to sleep because I think I will need as much energy as possible tomorrow to dodge sharp beaks. –P_

_Oh no, not yet. You have to ask someone, buddy. –J_

_Mate. You are so not cool. –S_

_Who, me? That's mean. –P_

_Not you, Prongs! –S_

_So if it isn't Prongs you ARE talking about me? –P_

_No – for Merlin's sake, Wormy! Do I have to spell it out for you? –S_

_Technically you would have anyway because you are writing it down. –P_

_What has my life come to? –S_

_I was about to ask the same thing, but not the way you meant it. –J_

_Wormy has stolen my word. –S_

_Exactly. See, I would have made some comment on how slow he was being, but then you always have been different. –J_

_Why thank you, Prongs. But speaking of being slow… -S_

_What? –J_

_For the love of Merlin, James, he just insulted you! –L_

_Really? Where? –J_

…_-L_

_Oh – so not cool, Sirius, so not cool. –J_

_Oh, back on first names, are we? How hurtful. –S_

_With the amount you guys are claiming to be hurt you must be under the Cruciatus. –L_

_Ouch, Lils. That HURT. –S_

_Ugh! –L_

_So can I ask someone now? –P_

_Go ahead. –J_

_Remus, T or D? –P_

_FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN, PETER, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? –S_

_Morning. What's going on? –R_

_I will go hide in a corner now. –S_

_What is _he_ doing here? –R_

_Being annoying. –L_

_Lils, seriously, you need to stop wounding me like this. I thought we were friends? –S_

_Where on earth did you get that idea? –L_

_Oh, the pain! –S_

_ANYHOW, Remus, answer the question! –P_

_WHY SHOULD HE ANSWER? HE HAS NO RIGHT! Oh, and Wormtail, did you seriously just go and look in a thesaurus? –S_

_I never thought I'd see the day. –J_

_Am I dreaming? –S_

_Most likely. Wait, no, then we'd be sharing dreams and that would be creepy. –J_

_You don't want to share a dream with me Prongs? –S_

_No way. –J_

_SIRIUS BLACK, IF YOU EVEN THINK THE WORD 'HURTFUL' OR MENTION THE WORD 'PAINFUL'…_-L

_Prongs, that was _traumatic_. It was _torture._ It felt like you _stabbed me in the heart_, then ripped it out, threw it across the room, jumped up and down on it and then shoved it back so I could feel how much it… um, _tortured_ me. –S_

_I will stab you in your sleep. –L_

_Yes, it felt like that, too. –S_

_Merlin help me… -L_

_Lily, I think you are having a bit of a midlife crisis. –S_

_A midlife crisis? HOW OLD DO I LOOK TO YOU? –L_

_Don't answer that, Pads. –J_

_I know! –S_

_Know what? –P_

_That you never, EVER answer that question when it is asked by a girl. –S_

_But I know how old she is! –P_

_So? They'll take it the wrong way no matter what you say. –J_

_Even if I say she's seventeen – which she is? –P_

_Yeah, they like to think they look older than they actually are. If you say their actual age or lower they think you think they are a little girl, not a woman. –J_

_So what if I say I think she's nineteen? –P_

_No, because then they think you're calling her an old lady. –S_

_I am right here. –L_

_I know, but don't you think it is in the best interests of women everywhere if we educate Wormtail on the very few things known about the female species? –J_

'_In the best interests of women everywhere?' You make it seem like Wormtail has a _chance_ of getting with a woman anywhere! –S_

_Oi! –P_

_Come on, Pete, you know it's true. –S_

_And getting back on topic, Rem, you have to answer the question. –L_

_Ah yes. Dare please. –R_

_Saying please like he's actually polite… like he's a person… like he actually CARES! –S_

_Shut up, Padfoot. –J_

_Remus, I dare you to burn your Transfiguration book. –P_

_WORMTAIL I LOVE YOU! –S_

_Well, he's moved on quick, hasn't he? –L_

_WORMTAIL, WHY? –R_

_Okay, I now Moony and Padfoot are acting like each other… again… I don't think this is a good thing…-J_

_I completely agree. –L_

_SOMEONE GET A CAMERA! JAMES AND LILY ARE AGREEING! –S_

_Stop being immature, Padfoot, they agree all the time now. Besides, I just dared Moony. –P_

_Yes, and it was brilliant. I applaud you. –S_

_Taken a step back, have we mate? I thought you said you loved him. –J_

_Jealous? –S_

_Oh, immensely. –J_

_It's okay, James, I'm saving you for my graduation date. –S_

_Wow, you care about me that much? –J_

_Oh yeah, baby. –S_

_That's a little freaky. –L_

_Now you see what Moony and I have to live with. –P_

_I feel for you. Really, I do. –L_

_And it's worse now because Moony is crying really loudly. –P_

_Yeah, he's woken us all up. –F_

_FEEL SORRY FOR US, LILY, FEEL SORRY! –H_

_And… let's remember who is currently in the kitchen with the two lovebirds. Seriously, they look like they are about to kiss each other. It's freaking me out. –L_

_So leave. –H_

_No, fair lady, do not leave! I love you Lily, you can't abandon me! –S_

_Sirius, you are starting to sound remarkably flighty. –F_

_Flighty? FLIGHTY? I am insulted. –S_

_Well, I should hope so. –F  
><em>

_All of the derogatory terms you could have used, and you used _flighty_. Honestly, I wonder sometimes… HOW HAVE I NOT TAUGHT YOU BETTER TERMS? We need to work on your vocabulary. –S_

_Pot, meet kettle… -L_

_Oh, nice Lily. Very nice. I feel so loved. –S_

_At least feeling loved is better than feeling hurt, right Sirius? –J_

_JAMES! –L_

_Sorry. I will stop now. –J_

_Good choice. –L_

_You know, I can imagine Lily saying that. She'd be all nice and sweet, but she'd have that evil glint in her eye that makes you know that if you don't run and hide you'll soon have a knife sticking out of your gut. –H_

_Lily does that? –S_

_She can be even worse than A with a knife. –H_

_Okay, now I DEFINITELY have to hear that story. –J_

_So ask her. –H_

_IT ISN'T MY TURN. –J_

_Seriously, the capitals were not necessary. –H_

_Please don't start that again, I don't think I could handle it. –L_

_And we don't want to make Lily's midlife crisis worse… -S_

_I have never truly hated someone before this moment. –L_

_LIES! –S_

_LIES! –H_

_Oooh, trippy. –J_

_Who, the house elf? –P_

_No, isn't that like another word for freaky? People seem to be using freaky a lot. I JUST WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT, OKAY? DON'T JUDGE ME FOR THAT, IT ISN'T FAIR! –J_

_Whoa, are midlife crisises catching! I don't want it! Get away from me, Lily! –S_

_Okay, she's glaring at me now. Hide me! –S_

_Wimp. –J_

_Ooookay, never mind. Please hide me too. –J_

_Dude, she's your girlfriend. –S_

_Well, HALLELUJAH! –H_

_Okay, two things. –S_

_What? –P_

_First of all, Hest, that's a little hypocritical, you just told Prongs off for using capitals. Secondly: what the hell is a H-A-L-L-E-L-U-J-A-H? –S_

Lily sighed in exasperation.

"Sirius, it's pronounced hal-leh-loo-yah. Surely you know what that means?"

"No, and why the bloody hell is it spelt with a 'j' if it is pronounced like that?" asked Sirius.

"It's Hebrew – it means 'Praise the Lord.' Basically the Muggle version of 'Thank Merlin.'"

"Oooohhhh," said Sirius, ignoring James who had facepalmed. "Why don't they just say 'Thank Merlin?' Or 'Thank the Lord' or whatever they believe exists rather than Merlin?"

"They just do, okay?" exclaimed Lily. "Merlin, I am surrounded by idiots!"

"Oi, I take offence to that!" exclaimed James.

"There you go," said Sirius, ignoring him again. "Wasn't that SO much easier to say than 'Hallelujah, I am surrounded by idiots'?"

"That's not what you use Hallelujah for!" growled Lily. "You use that word when you are glad that something has happened, usually something that took a long time! For example – 'Sirius just understood my Doctor Who joke. Hallelujah!'"

"Doctor Who?"

"So not the point."

"And the point was?"

"That you use 'hallelujah' in a different context than that."

"No, you're wrong."

"What?!"

"_I_ don't use the word 'hallelujah' at all."

"For the love of Merlin, that is completely-"

"But you're right, that doesn't matter. What does matter is that it's still a lot easier to say 'Merlin' than that horrible word beginning with a 'h' and somewhere including a 'j', AND you just proved my point."

"Argh! I HATE you Sirius Black!"

* * *

><p><em>~meanwhile, in the dorm…~<em>

* * *

><p>"I can't… I can't do that… you really can't make me… I can't… really…"<p>

"Oh, shut up, Remus," growled Hestia, throwing a book at him. She was having such a bad day, and it wasn't even time for breakfast yet. Not only was her hair now only two inches long (it had taken her a long agonising hour in the bathroom before she closed her eyes and hacked off her pony. After that it was just a matter of shaping it), but it was now also a hot pink colour that was not often seen outside the Barbie franchise.

Unfortunately that was not the right thing to do as the appearance of the book merely served as a reminder of what he was supposed to do, causing him to cry once more.

"It's my _transfiguration book_," he cried. "I just _can't_ burn it!"

"Yes you can," sighed Hestia. "Look, I'll just put a gemino curse on it, and then you can burn the actual one and just use the copy in class. It shouldn't matter that it is only a copy, I mean, it will be exact."

"But… but… it's a book!"

"Oh, for the love of Merlin… Remus, it is NOT A BOOK."

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't."

"But it is!"

"Remus, look at me. If I went for your favorite novel and threw it in the fire, what would you do?"

Now, the normal Remus would have come up with some witty remark, but this Remus had been having a bad week, and he had is reputation as a Marauder to uphold. Usually, there would be no way that would involve crying, but during a game of what was essentially an amped up version of truth of dare things were different.

So he allowed his lower lip to tremble and squinted so his eyes would start to water, and then let out what he hoped passed as a whimper.

"Exactly," said Hestia smugly, like this was the response she had hoped for. "But, you will not be burning a book. You will be burning a _text_book. Big difference."

"But-"

"No. Look, even the biggest bookworms wish they could burn their textbooks, right? And many enjoy it when they finish school… or so I've been told."

"I… I suppose so."

"Textbooks cause us pain, Remus. Do you want to be in pain?"

"No. But if I burn the book…"

"_Text_book, Remus. It's a textbook."

"If I burn the textbook, then it will feel pain."

Hestia was _this close_ to snapping.

"Remus, do inanimate objects feel pain?"

"Depends. I bet…. Padfoot would."

"That is just low. Now answer the question. PROPERLY."

"No."

"And are textbooks inanimate?"

"I suppose I see your point."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"So you'll burn it?"

"Yeah, what harm could it do?"

Then Remus, deciding he had put Hestia through enough, hopped off his bed and began rummaging in his trunk.

Hestia threw back her head and sighed in contentment. _Victory, sweet victory!_

After a few seconds, she opened her eyes to find Frank looking at her with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I have never, ever heard such a motivational speech."

"Oh, it was nothing."

"Hestia, you just made _Remus_ agree to burning a book."

"A _text_book, Frank. A textbook."

"Still. I bet even Martin Luther King or Abraham Lincoln or Hitler or any other of those incredibly persuasive people could have done it!"

"Am I suppose to know who those people are?" asked Peter, looking between them. "For that matter, how do _you_ know?"

Frank and Hestia shared a glance.

"Alice."

"Oh," said Peter. "Guess that explains it. I mean, she does know all those quotes and who that Sherly person is…"

"Sherlock Holmes," said Hestia. "He's a character from a series of books by the same name."

"Books written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, which are set in the late nineteenth century in Muggle London," added Frank.

Peter looked at them both like they were mad.

"Got it!" exclaimed Remus, shoving a book in the air.

"How on earth did it take you so long?" asked Frank. "You are usually more organized than this."

"I never had a chance to clean up my trunk after pretending to be… _him_."

"Ah."

"Anyway, Hestia what do I do now?"

"Burn it," said Hestia, shrugging. "Don't look at me."

"Don't burn down the dorm, please," sighed Peter, getting back under his covers. "I do actually want to sleep."

"Such little faith," sighed Remus. "Fine. Clear a space, everyone!"

With Hestia and Frank's help, Remus was able to shove all the clothes and books and dirty socks across the floor, leaving a small circle of carpet clear.

"Wow," said Hestia, looking amazed as she studied the patch. "The carpet is grey in here. Who knew?"

Remus hit her arm as he walked past, then placed his transfiguration book in the circle.

"Ready?" he asked.

They all nodded, so he pointed his wand at it.

"Well, here goes… _INCENDIO!"_

The book quickly caught on fire, and Frank and Remus watched it burn, not really feeling much. Really, it was only a pile of papers bound together.

Neither of them, however, were prepared for Hestia's reaction.

"YAAAAAAAAA!" she screeched, then she began to wildly dance about the flames – which was quite an achievement considering the state of the floor.

"Erm, Hestia, are you alright?" asked Frank timidly.

"Oh, be quiet, Boring Bill," she sang, "I have wanted to dance crazily around a fire while burning textbooks for a very long time! LET ME HAVE MY FUN!"

Someone near the doorway sighed.

"A woman after my own heart."

The three of them spun around to see a wide-eyed James, an exasperated Lily and a love-struck Sirius.

Remus started to cry again.

"Come join me in my sacrifice!" Hestia hollered. Sirius grinned and clanked over to her, then joined her jumping about wildly – well, as wildly as his armour allowed, anyway.

"What are you doing back here?" asked Frank, wandering over to the only slightly normal people in the room. "Why walk all the way up here? We'll be going down to breakfast shortly."

"Exactly," said Lily, "There's going to be some weird stuff going on today… and I'm not to keen to get the blame."

"I think it may be a little late for that," sighed James.

"Agreed," groaned Frank, glancing around the room at the pink haired nightmare and the knight in shinning armour who were jumping around the small fire yelling what sounded remarkably like battle cries mixed in with quotes from _Macbeth _(something he had also learned about from Alice), and then over to the snoring Peter and the still weeping Remus. "I have a feeling people have noticed what is going on…"

"Well," sighed James, "If they haven't yet, they definitely will have by the time breakfast is done."

Lily nodded in agreement.

"This is going to be interesting."

* * *

><p><strong>Firstly, sorry about the whole 'is too, is not' thing. It always annoys me when that is done, because you have to admit that James is right - the person who changes first technically should lose the argument. I thought I had better point that out for my own sanity (If I have any). It makes me feel better, anyway.<strong>

**Acknowledgements (as per usual, this will not be in order but top to bottom on my list):**

**~_XAnonymousXWriterX_ suggested the truth (Lily) asking which house you wanted to be in. Oh, and who you (Peter) would most like to be the mother of his children.**

**~_To The TARDIS_ seemed to like the idea of having someone (mostly Sirius) punch someone else in the face... Sorry I didn't use a combination you suggested, but it seemed to fit in this way.**

**~_E.C. Scrubb_ suggested turning the entrance hall into an ice skating rink and then having the house elves skate on it... this will come into the next chapter.**

**~_MySecretXxX_ suggested Remus burning all of his books**

**~_the unbirthday girl_ suggested Peter's trip to the owlery... again, in the next chapter.**

**~_Of All The Choices_ suggested the truth (James) about what you would call a cat and the following exchange.**

**And I'm pretty sure that's it for this chapter! IF I missed you in this list and I used your idea, I am sorry, please tell me and I will go back and double check, then fix it.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed! Now I just have to go psych myself up for this next one... it's going to be big! We have, what, ice skating, a certain cheeky hat, a sprint through the owlery, one as-of-yet-unknown (to you guys, anyway) dare for James, Sirius is still in that armour, a violent yet Holmes-like Alice and so much more... I hope you all tune in for that one, too!**

**Until next time!**


	19. Ice skating and Madness

**So once again I had to split the chapter because it was becoming too long. I'm not completely happy with this as it seemed too chaotic - I was aiming for chaotic but this is _too_ chaotic, you know? - but I can't find a way to fix that without taking out heaps of stuff, so this is what I ended up with. I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed, I love reading them as I am sure you have noticed.**

**Also, this fic has reached 100,000 words finally! Yay!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise, and acknowledgements for dares are down the bottom, as always.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

THURSDAY BREAKFAST: Ice Skating and Madness

The journey from the common room to the great hall was precarious at best. This was partly due to the fact that, as per usual, they were each stopping every so often to write on their parchment, but also because of the many people that were staring at Sirius, Hestia and Alice.

Alice, you see, had somehow acquired an odd looking cap, a pipe and a magnifying glass, which she was using to look at every tiny thing they passed. This slowed up their progress a little bit, as you can imagine.

But it was when they reached the bottom of the stairs that all hell seemed to break loose.

It wasn't their fault. Well, okay, it kind of was, but no one needed to know that.

The entrance hall was frozen, and sliding around it were well over a hundred house elves who all looked a little bit drunk but were nevertheless enjoying themselves.

They were also moving quite quickly, which seemed to be resulting in a _couple_ of accidents.

"Wow, Padfoot," said Frank, eyes wide. "You out did yourself."

"How exactly did you manage this?" asked Hestia.

"I was just awesome!" exclaimed Sirius. Then catching James and Lily's look amended that slightly. "Plus, I had a bit of help… and _a lot_ of butterbeer."

"Makes sense," said Hestia, cocking her head as a five-way collision occurred right in font of them. "But how exactly are we planning on getting to breakfast?"

All the students seemed to be handling the situation in different ways.

Most of the first years were simply trying to run across – they were the cause of most of the collisions.

The second and third years, for the most part, seemed too scared to move off the stairs, not being young enough to think they might actually make it and not being experienced enough to know how to get across another way.

Several Slytherins were simply walking forward arrogantly, firing shield charms all around them. That seemed to work for them, but it wasn't so good for the house elves who had yet to learn how to brake.

A couple of sixth year Ravenclaws seemed to have had the best idea – they had gotten their friends together and then levitated each other across.

James was staring longingly at the Hufflepuff Quidditch team who had had the innovation to summon their brooms.

"Oh no you don't," said Sirius, grabbing James' wand from his hand as he tried to do the same. "We are doing this the best way of all."

Then he waved his hand and everyone's shoes transformed into ice skates.

"Sirius!" screeched Hestia, "Those were expensive!"

"Oh no," groaned Lily, trying to back away but tripping over her skates, "No. I don't like ice skating!"

"Aw, come on, Lils," said James, grabbing her wrist.

"I _can't _ice skate!"

"Can't or won't?" asked Sirius.

"_Definitely_ can't."

"Then you'll just have to learn," said James. "I can teach you."

"No!" she exclaimed, "I can't go anywhere near it! The last time… well, the last time…"

"Well then," said Sirius happily, "I suppose you are just going to have to stand here all day, aren't you?"

"Fine!"

"Good!" exclaimed Sirius, throwing up his hands. "Right. All of you who are not too _chicken_ to come, let's go."

With that, he ushered the others onto the ice, some (_–cough- _James_ –cough-_) more forcibly than others.

"Come on!" he said, grinning even wider than before. "Let's go!"

"S- Padfoot," growled Frank, "You realise all the others are trying to do exactly the opposite of this, and those who are doing the same are having an awful lot of head on collisions with elves?"

"No," said Alice, pointing to the people Frank was watching, "They aren't wearing skates, they're just sliding around on their shoes and ducking whenever an elf gets near them – I don't see how ducking will help, but whatever – which is not a very good way of getting around. They're all being slow and careful. This is one instance when being quick will work better. Slow and steady does not _always_ win the race, you know."

"Couldn't have put it better myself," said Remus. "Now come on – you guys do know how to skate, right?"

"Remus," said Hestia, giving him an odd look. "We practically live in a castle… which has a lake… which freezes over almost every single winter. And you're asking us if we know how to skate?"

"Can't you tell from the way they all seem comfortable in their skates?" asked Alice. "Or the way that they haven't wobbled once, and that their only worry is the multitude of elven cannonballs? Well, all except that one." Alice pointed to Lily.

"Yeah, what is up with that?" asked Peter. "I wouldn't have picked her to be scared of this."

"From the way she is acting and what she has said, I find myself able to deduce that Miss Lily Evans has had a bad experience ice skating in the past." Alice sucked on her pipe for a second, and put a thoughtful look on her face. "A bad experience that I am fairly certain involved her sister, a thin piece of ice, a near drowning, a broke collar bone and quite possibly a dead fish."

"She's told you the story before, you already knew what happened! That's cheating," accused Sirius.

"No it isn't," replied Alice, "All that matters is that I have the information, how I got it is of no consequence."

"Bloody know it all girls," he huffed.

"What was that?" asked Hestia innocently.

"I said if we don't get moving I'm going to hurl," said Sirius quickly.

"Mmhm, sure," said Hestia. "But we really should move, that much is true."

"Ah yes," said Sirius, "Ready team? On three!"

"Wait," exclaimed James, "Don't you think we should help Lily? I mean if her fear really is that bad-"

"Prongs," sighed Sirius in what sounded like a slightly sympathetic tone. "You need to learn the ways!"

"The ways of what?"

"The ways, THE WAYS!"

"Mate, are you feeling alright?"

"The ways of Sirius Black, man!"

"How could you, Sirius!" screeched Remus. He stumbled backwards – which isn't easy to do in skates, and as such he then fell over – then ran rather awkwardly up the stairs, pushing his way through the crowd of bemused students.

Lily seemed to take this as a chance of escape, and ran after him.

"There we go," said Sirius proudly, "The ways of me always of me always work!"

"Why did you make them go?" growled James. "Now they won't get in here and-"

"Relax, Prongs," sighed Sirius, "Look, We all know that Lily is scared of ice skating, right? Well, she isn't going to want to even think about trying – if at all – with all these other people around. Pretty soon we'll get in there and Remus' hat dare will take place, everyone will be distracted and then Remus can help Lily get across. You know he's a better teacher than the rest of us put together so he can deal with this, and he'll also be able to be himself if I am not there."

"That is actually genius," said Alice. "Not as genius as _some_ people can be of course, but for anyone other than me… that is quite the accomplishment."

"Alice," sighed Frank, "You seem to be channelling your inner Tony Stark rather than Sherlock Holmes."

"Whatever," said Alice, shrugging it off and sucking her pipe again. "They were practically the same person."

Sirius, James, Peter and Hestia looked at them in confusion.

"Don't ask," said Frank sternly.

"Anyway, are we going to skate or what?" asked Peter, "I mean we've been standing here for ages. And I don't know about you guys, but now that I'm actually awake and stuff I want to get back to the game."

"You just want food," accused Sirius.

"So do you," Peter shot back. "Besides, I'm going to need the energy later."

"Oh, right," grinned Sirius, "I am so going to watch that. But I agree with you – everyone, this is taking WAY too long. Let's hustle, people! Hut, hut!"

"There is something wrong with him," said Hestia, watching as he shot off across the ice with wide eyes. "There is something _seriously_ wrong with him."

"You are only realising this now?" asked James, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up," she grumbled, whacking the back of his head.

"OW! Bloody hell, woman!"

"Now _you're_ sounding like Padfoot," said Peter. Then the rest of them shot after Sirius.

It was quite the sight. Amongst the flailing students and the catastrophic elves, six seventh year Gryffindors skated with ease, weaving in between the less fortunate and avoiding hitting any of the others. It looked like they were twirling and twisting, doing many laps of the entrance hall almost like they were showing off yet at the same time they didn't seem to be aiming for attention.

Truth is, they were only dodging. The moment they got onto the ice they figured out that Sirius had been right – speed was the best defence in that situation. There were flailing bodies everywhere and you need quick reflexes in order to stay upright. It was impossible to go in a straight line – there was always another person to dodge, always another speeding elf to avoid. That was why they couldn't go straight into the Great Hall – the moment they got close something or someone would get in their way and in order to keep up speed they would have to veer off to the side.

To stop would be suicide.

Hestia thought she was doing pretty well at first. The moment she stepped down off the stair and onto the ice she was swept away by the crowd of elves, but she managed to stay upright – quite the accomplishment – and then get around them. She was, of course, met by many more, but she weaved between them and made her way towards the door. She was only about ten meters away when a very drunk elf who's tea towel was falling off stumbled in front of her and she quickly swerved to the right, and then before she knew it she was over by the front doors.

That was _not_ where she wanted to be.

So, she took a deep breath, circled round and tried again.

This time she was next to Alice, and the two of the were able to have a quick though slightly halting conversation, and they made a plan.

The two grabbed hands forced their way forward, forming a larger barrier and hence the elves had to get out of _their_ way. They were still able to dodge and if they needed to lifted their hands to let an elf go between them. They made amazingly good progress until a Hufflepuff first year fell down directly in front of them. Alice went left, Hestia went right, their hands were ripped apart and Hestia was alone again, this time near the hallway that lead to the kitchens.

So she circled around and tried _again_.

A second later, though, she noticed an odd noise, so she paused in a comparatively empty spot near the wall. It started off quiet, but then it got louder, and louder, until it was so loud it drowned out almost everything else.

Feeling rather suspicious, Hestia glanced around the Hall. Then she spotted him.

Standing in a quiet corner, pointing his wand and the roof and with a shit-eating grin on his face was Sirius Black.

He was playing Swan Lake. Totally inappropriate.

She was going to KILL him.

But not right now, because a house elf was hurtling towards her, arms windmilling as it tried to regain control of itself.

Alice was the first one of the Game players to make it to the Great Hall. After she had lost Hestia she had teamed up with James and Peter, then when she got close she pushed them in front of her causing them to fall and trip up about ten others, then skirted around the pile up and made it to the door.

Man, she was cunning.

When she finally made it she found the Hall in disarray. There were confused students milling about not paying any attention to which house was supposed to be at which table (Slytherins excluded) all trying to figure out why the entrance hall had been frozen and why there were drunk elves everywhere in ice skates.

None of them had noticed the hat yet. Alice did though. She saw that Remus had placed it on the head of the gargoyle in the very center of the back wall, meaning the staff would not be able to see it from their seats. They would have to actually get up and move away from the wall to see it.

Okay, so Remus was cunning too. But that wasn't important at the moment – the teachers weren't there either.

Alice stuck her head out of the door and then promptly pulled it back in again. Many teachers had now joined the carnage, but they were having just about as much luck as the students. The hall was not supposed to hold that many elves as it was, let alone when the floor was frozen, and that's without mentioning the students.

So realising that she may be in for a bit of a wait, Alice headed over to the Gryffindor table, sat down and began to eat some breakfast, thanking Merlin that the house elves had made it before Sirius gave them the butterbeer… she just didn't want to think about the state lunch might be in.

James was next. He wandered over to the Gryffindor table about two minutes later, his hair full of ice and cradling his severely bruised arm.

Needless to say he gave Alice a glare before he started to dig into his bacon.

Then came Frank, who was followed by a smug looking Hufflepuff. James glared at him, too – Alice found out later that it was because Frank had given up just before James got out and he and the Hufflepuff had used a levitating charm like the Ravenclaws.

James seemed to believe that this was cheating, never mind the fact that this hadn't been a competition, no rules had been specified in the first place and that James had beaten Frank to the Great Hall.

No, he had still _cheated_.

Then there was Hestia. She didn't pay much attention to the other three, but she seemed relatively unharmed. Well… unharmed physically. She was, however, muttering under her breath about Sirius, his bed and a vicious, man eating mouse.

Everyone expected Sirius to be next. They figured that as he had been so at ease in the beginning, and so confident he even started up that damn song that had made the situation both more hilarious and horrifying at the same time that he would have been able to make it out of there fairly quickly.

But then, as James said, maybe he didn't want to.

Either way, they were all fairly surprised when the next Gryffindor seventh year through the door was Peter Pettigrew.

"Food," he moaned, sitting down with them. Then he passed out, his head falling right into the bowl of baked beans.

"Great," sighed James, lifting him up so he didn't drown. "He's doing a Sirius impression."

"I don't think he's doing it on purpose," said Alice, throwing a napkin at his now brightly orange face. "I mean, I have deduced that the whole drunken elves and ballerina on ice thing was a little too much for him to handle."

"He's had worse," said James, shaking his head. "He is just trying to stop me from eating the beans. And I really fancied those, too!"

With that, Peter cracked an eye open and then upon seeing the beans in front of him, grabbed a spoon and began scarfing them down.

"That's gross," said Hestia.

"What, his eating habits or the fact that he's eating beans that his face was just planted in?" asked Alice.

"Both," said Frank, looking a little queasy.

"Aw, come on guys," said James, "He's eaten worse than this!"

The non-Marauders in the group looked like they were about to reply, but then their conversation was cut short by a bloodcurdling scream, a HUGE crash, many cries of pain and Professor McGonagall's signature yell:

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

The Swan Lake music cut off immediately.

"Well," said James, reaching for his pumpkin juice. "That didn't sound so good."

"Sounded like a boy encased in a suit of armour had a head on collision with many other students," said Alice, taking a bite of some toast. "Say, it must be serious – there goes Professor Dumbledore."

She gestured to the Professor who swept past them and out into the entrance hall.

Alice was only making an observation. She didn't expect the reaction she got.

Hestia suddenly stopped eating, even though her fork full of sausage was half way to her mouth. She grinned, and then smirked at James – who, on the mention of Dumbledore, had paled.

"What?" asked Frank, looking between them with a confused expression.

"Oh James," said Hestia sweetly, "I do believe it is time for your dare."

"No way am I going out there again," said James, pointing to the door.

"I'm sure you don't have to," said Hestia. "I mean, you are a Marauder. Surely you know some other way out of here?"

"Well…"

"Yeah," said Peter, not taking notice of the glare James was sending his way. "You know James, you go through into Violet's room and then you-"

"Yeah, yeah, Peter," growled James, "I know. Fine then Hest, I'll go, but if I get in-"

"If you say trouble you will be disowned from the Marauders, you know that," said Peter.

"I wasn't going to!" exclaimed James. "I was going to say detention. You do realise that every time someone gets a detention we have to stop the Game and add time onto the end, right?" he asked, gesturing to his watch.

"Oh, man," groaned Hestia. "No, okay, I don't mind, this Game is fun. James, GO."

James groaned, but decided that it was best if he did do his dare. At least Lily wasn't here. So he ran out into Violet's room behind the staff table, slightly annoyed that he would probably miss the sorting hat's cheek, then through the secret passageway and towards Dumbledore's office. The others were all slightly confused, as they had been asleep when James got his dare and hadn't bothered to read back through the feet and feet of parchment.

The didn't wonder for too long though as not long after James left the doors to the entrance hall opened and in marched pretty much the rest of the school, all battered and bruised and cold and looking rather worse for wear. At the end of the procession was Sirius, being dragged along by McGonagall.

"This looks fun," said Peter.

"You really are a Marauder, aren't you," sighed Hestia, shaking her head. "And here I had hopes for you, Peter…"

McGonagall seemed to be muttering in fury, while Sirius was just grinning away like he'd been told he didn't have to do homework for the rest of his life. Just before they reached the Gryffindor table McGonagall turned around and faced him, and gave him what looked like the scolding of a lifetime. But Sirius, in that Sirius way, just kept on grinning. Then McGonagall turned to the other seventh year Gryffindors – and these, having slightly more sense, cowered away.

"If I find out that any of you had anything to do with this…" she paused as she glanced around the small group. Then she asked worriedly: "Where is Mr Lupin, Mr Potter and Miss Evans?"

They noticed she sounded less worried about _them_ and more worried about _where_ they were – or, perhaps more accurately, what they were doing.

"I don't know, professor," said Alice, smiling innocently. Well, it was the truth. At least it was for what she had asked.

McGonagall narrowed her eye and tightened her lips, but upon deciding that there was nothing else she could do she left to sit down at the staff table.

Bad move.

"Why, Minerva, you're getting on in years!"

The way McGonagall froze and slowly looked up the wall was almost comical – even more so when, as Alice had predicted, she could not see a thing.

But no one in Hogwarts could possibly mistake that voice.

"Really, every single time I see you you're looking older. Must be the stress from those pesky students, hmm? Well, I can relate to that. Oh, Horace, you seriously need to lay off those crystal pineapples, they're cutting you're life span dramatically, not to mention the doors of Hogwarts might need to be widened in a couple of weeks in order to accommodate your girth. Why, if it isn't Filius! I heard a student recently offered a way to help you grow a little taller! If I were you I would have taken her up on her offer, you see it would do wonders for actually gaining respect from the students. They all see you more as a friend than a teacher you know, and that isn't very good for a teacher-student relationship-"

"Who did this?" asked McGonagall in a quiet voice, and yet the entire hall heard her.

By now the whole staff were craning up trying to see the hat that was making the huge racket, but none had thought to move away from the wall for a better look. All the students, however, could see the thing and were all laughing their heads off.

Not literally, that would be gross. But you get the point.

"Albus! My dear friend Albus, the very guy who leaves me on top of a cabinet for year after year with nothing to do. You should consider a hair cut and perhaps you should trim your beard, you never know what might be hiding in there. Probably a colony of mice, and that is just unsanitary. This is a school, for Merlin's sake! Simple health and safety!"

"Remus really out did himself," sighed Sirius, grinning. Then he paused, frowned, and corrected himself. "I mean, I so could have done better. Bloody Remus, always messing things up."

Several of the teachers were white with anger now, although a couple seemed to find the situation amusing. However, after one more crack at Slughorn's weight and alcoholism, the potions master snapped.

"Alright!" he yelled, "Who ever is responsible for this needs to step forward now or I swear I will-"

And angry yell interrupted him, and the whole school turned to see Lily Evans standing in the doorway.

Lily looked manic. Her hair was completely messy, she was soaking wet from multiple falls on the ice, her face was twisted in anger and her hands were clenched at her sides. Several terrified witnesses claimed they saw fire spitting out from her eyes, and smoke coming from her ears – although most reputable sources believe that this is just exaggeration.

She yelled something unintelligible again and then stalked forward angrily towards the other Gryffindor seventh years. Everyone was so focused on her they did not notice Remus sneak in quickly behind her and scurry along to sit near his friends, smirking as he did so.

"PETER PETIGREW!" she screeched. All the colour in Peter's face immediately disappeared and he sank down in his seat. The hall was now, amazingly, completely silent. The only sounds were that of Lily and the occasional insulting mutter from the Sorting Hat.

"HOW DARE YOU? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE CAREFUL, YOU PROMISED ME THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN, AND NOW YOU HAVE GONE AND _RUINED MY LIFE!_"

"What did you do?" Sirius whispered loudly.

"No idea," Peter hissed back.

"Don't you _dare_ play dumb with me, mister," growled Lily, "You know exactly what you did!"

"Uh, actually, no, I don't," he squeaked.

"Yes you _do._ You said, you _promised_ you were careful!"

"When I did what, exactly?"

"Don't act like you've forgotten it, Peter. Please, if anything, don't do _that_ to me," she begged.

"Whoa, mood swing much," muttered Sirius. Then his eyes widened. "You don't think…"

"Shut up, Sirius!" whined Lily, "You don't know squat!"

"Okay, now we know something is _definitely_ wrong with her," said Hestia, "Lily never says stuff like that!"

"Wrong with me?" asked Lily dangerously. "You think something is _wrong_ with me? By Merlin, the word 'wrong' does not even begin to cover this!"

Hestia, Alice and Frank exchanged glances, none of them missing the fact that Remus was struggling to withhold laughter.

"Some people might be happy that this happened to them," she wailed, "But not me. Not _now_, and not with _him!_ I can't believe that I was so _stupid_ to actually believe him when he said he did the spell right, when he said he was being extra careful. I should have known he'd screw it up! I thought it was going to be special, but then he goes and does this-"

"Lily, calm down," said Sirius, sending a not so subtle look over to where McGonagall was standing up. "Just tell us what's going on!"

"Yeah, Lily," said Remus, "Tell us. Which spell was it that Peter messed up?"

Lily shot him a quick glare, but no one else noticed. Then she psyched herself up for what se was about to say, took a deep breath and-

"The _contraceptive spell!_"

The entire student body and many staff members gasped in unison.

"Wait, what?" asked Sirius confusedly, not quite catching on to the entire thing.

"Peter told me, he promised he was being careful," Lily repeated, "But now I'm _pregnant_ and it's all HIS FAULT! My life is ruined… how on earth am I going to be able to do my NEWTs when I'm throwing up all over the place and I have aching feet?"

"If it helps," said Peter meekly, "When you take you're NEWTs you'll mostly be sitting down… so the aching feet won't be a problem."

Lily let out another wild screech and launched herself at him, but luckily Remus managed to grab her first.

"Whoa Lily," he said, "Careful. You wouldn't want to hurt the baby now, would you?"

Lily simply smiled at him, catching him off guard.

"Fine," she said, and then before anyone could react she pulled out her wand, pointed it at Peter and yelled; "_Oppugno_!"

A stream of yellow canaries shot out of her wand and streaked towards Peter, who immediately shot out of his seat and ran out the door screaming like a four year old girl, the flock of yellow birds following fast behind him.

"There we go," said Lily with a smile, then she sat down, grabbed a roll and pulled out her parchment.

_Frank, T or D?_ –_L_

"You have got to be kidding me," groaned Sirius. "Who gave you that? Who ever it was, I must congratulate them.

"Remus," said Lily, buttering her roll calmly. "While we were waiting for the entrance hall to clear. It _was_ pretty good, don't you think?"

"Worst dare I ever saw," said Sirius quickly. "What the hell, Remus, you just caused serious trauma to poor Wormtail! How could you?"

Remus opened his mouth to reply, but he became the second person that breakfast to be interrupted by a manic yell. They all turned to the small door behind the staff table to see James Potter running towards them, yelling like a mad man, the sword of Gryffindor raised high in his hands.

"Oh dear Merlin," whispered Sirius, "He heard what happened. He's come to kill Peter!"

"Have they all gone mad?" asked a Hufflepuff second year, looking slightly scared.

"'Fraid so," sighed a Hufflepuff seventh year, patting the poor boy on the head. "Seems to happen every year around this time. Strange, huh?"

Meanwhile, James was continuing his mad dash through the hall, still yelling, the sword still raised.

"He isn't here!" exclaimed Sirius as James drew close, covering his head with his hands – this had to be the firs time he was glad he was wearing the dumb armour. "Peter left, he isn't here! Please don't hurt us!"

Alice, Frank, Remus and Lily simply sat frozen, eyes wide, not quite comprehending what was going on while Hestia tried to abstain from laughing. No one noticed, they were all focused on James.

But he just ran straight past them (causing Sirius to lower his hands and blink dumbly) down the entire length of the hall and then promptly began swinging the sword at the back wall.

"Die, foul beast!" he screamed, "How dare you attempt to hurt my fair damsel! You will never live to see past this day!"

Maybe someone would have stopped him if they hadn't all been so paralysed by shock. It wasn't every day that you saw the Head Boy go mad and begin attacking the wall with a sword.

Hestia was quite impressed with James' sword skills. Maybe it was a compulsory thing when you were heir to one of the oldest pureblood lines known in Britain, maybe his parents gave him fencing lessons when he was a kid. He wasn't just aimlessly slashing like she had expected him to do – well, he _was_ slashing, sure, but it seemed almost choreographed. Every so often he would pause and mime a parry, or he would stab. Once he even stepped back from the wall taunted it with his fingers, as if he were egging the wall on.

"Come on then!" he cried, "Fight, you foul creature! You demon! You think you got the better of me in this fight, hmm? You think you can win? Well let me tell you that you _can't_! This is my home, you hear? MINE! And you will not harm anyone ever again! Die, die, die!"

Up at the staff table, McGonagall had once again risen from her chair, ready to grab James, give him detention for the rest of the year, deduct all of Gryffindor's points and then take him to the hospital wing. Unfortunately for her, however, there was one sentient being that was not completely focused on the raving Head Boy and noticed her.

"Sit down Minerva!" cried the Sorting Hat. "That boy is doing what he believes is right! It is his choice whether he wishes to attack that wall or not. How can you possibly believe yourself a good teacher and then try to take away your student's life choices? Despicable!"

"Aha!" yelled James, making one final thrust at the wall, stabbing the sword forward with all his might into the 'heart' of the beast. "You are slain! I have won!"

Then he raised the sword one more in his right hand and ran back to the other end of the hall and back out of the door, yelling; "VICTORY! Hogwarts is safe, my damsel! I am the ultimate hero! Victory for James Potter and Hogwarts!"

He was quickly followed by three of the teachers, one of which was Dumbledore, all ignoring the berating they got from the hat.

"Whack job," muttered Sirius. "Anyway, Frank, you have a question to answer."

"Right," said Frank. He and Lily turned their attention back to the parchment, but the others were quickly distracted as Professor Flitwick had finally thought to step away from the staff table so he could see the sorting hat and was attempting to get it down.

"_Wingardium leviosa!"_ he cried. Suddenly there was a loud bang and Flitwick, along with several other teachers, were engulfed in bright green smoke, similar to what Remus had ended up in the night before. It didn't seem to do anything though, and when it cleared the teachers were spluttering but otherwise unharmed and unchanged.

"Idiots!" cried the Hat, "Surely you know I can't be charmed? Surely you, Filius, would have known that! Unacceptable! You little group of dim-witted-"

"_Silencio!_" cried Slughorn, jabbing his wand in the Hat's direction. This time they were engulfed in blue smoke.

"Horace!" yelled the Hat's voice from amidst the stuff, "Clearly your intelligence does not match your size! Whisky is bad fro brain cells, you know!"

McGonagall, as white as a sheet, quickly conjured up a ladder.

"Finally, someone with sense. Although who is going to come and get me, hmm? Horace's weight would probably break the ladder. Filius is too short, you'd need a longer ladder than _that_ if you want to reach the hat… and you, Minerva, are looking a little old and frail to get up here. Maybe you'll fetch it, Pomona? Might you finally get your hands dirty with something other than dragon dung? You really should use that stuff less often you know, you're starting to smell like it."

"Why you little-"

"Or will you send up a student?" asked the hat. It sounded like it would be raising an eyebrow – you know, if it had one. "You would, wouldn't you? Oh my Merlin, you would send a student up to do you're dirty work, something you yourself would not do. How despicable! And you call yourself teachers… you are supposed to care for your students welfare!"

Everyone was once again distracted; this time by the crash of broken china coming from the Gryffindor table… once again it was the seventh years. Frank was standing on the table – he'd knocked off a plate getting up there, hence the crash. He had a tea cosy on his head, and a ridiculous smile on his face – the sort of smile you'd see on the host of a Muggle kid's TV show.

"Hello every body!" he exclaimed. "Today we are going to sing a song! Are we ready? Here we go:

"_I'm a little tea pot, short and stout,_

"_Here is my handle, here is my spout._

"_When I get all steamed up hear me shout,_

"_Tip me over and pour me out!"_

He did the actions that went with the song, all the while keeping the ridiculous smile on his face. But the tables were not exactly the widest of things and they were covered in breakfast dishes – needless to say when he preformed the last action of bending over sideways he lost his balance and fell to the floor.

But he was up in less than a second – still grinning – and then he threw his arms up and yelled:

"Thank you girls and boys! Now, wasn't that fun? I hope you enjoy the rest of your breakfast!"

Then he sat back down, pulled the tea cosy off his head and resumed eating.

"That was awful," he groaned, "I never, ever want to do that again."

"You're the one that picked dare," shrugged Lily.

Amidst all the chaos, the post owls started to come in. One dropped a letter on Lily's lap, so she paused to read it.

"This has to be one of the weirdest breakfasts I've ever had," said Alice, "And that is saying something. By the way, Frank, don't eat those eggs, Padfoot put something in there while you were singing. I saw him do it." She waved her magnifying glass.

"What?" exclaimed Frank, shoving the bowl away from him. "Who dared him to do that?"

"Oh great," sighed Lily, "Petunia's going to be terrible over the Christmas holidays, her pet rabbit's dead. That'll make her real grumpy…"

"No one," said Sirius shrugging, answering Frank and ignoring Lily. "I was bored."

"You were _bored_?" asked Hestia in amazement. "How is that even possible?"

Sirius just shrugged again.

"In that case…" muttered Frank.

_Sirius, T or D? –F_

_Easy. D. –S_

None of them were very happy about the evil smirk that graced Frank's face as he wrote down the dare – nor were they happy about the similarly evil smirk on Sirius' face as he read it.

"I don't like the look of this," muttered Lily.

"Me either," groaned Alice, putting her magnifying glass up against Sirius' face. "That dare isn't actually that bad – they're planning something."

"Too right," said Hestia.

"Go away, guys," muttered Sirius, swatting the magnifying glass away. "Why do you always think that everything I do is evil?"

"Uh… because it usually is?" asked Hestia.

Sirius rolled his eyes, then stood up and – to the equal disappointment and relief of everyone in the hall – simply left and did nothing else.

But that wasn't such a bad thing, because Professor Slughorn was now trying to climb up the ladder leaning against the wall.

"That ladder is going to snap," taunted the hat, "I can hear it creaking!"

Slughorn studiously ignored it and continued to climb, looking a little wobbly but very determined. Flitwick had cast a strengthening charm on the ladder so he knew it wouldn't break, and McGonagall was stabilising it with her magic. They all knew that, in reality, Buckleberry would have been the better teacher to send up because he was the youngest but he had gone off chasing James. The next best would have probably been Alby due to her thinner frame, but she hadn't come down this morning because she had thought breakfast would be a dangerous event today.

To think that McGonagall had been laughing at that sentiment two hours ago…

Anyway, Slughorn had now made it to the top of the ladder. Unfortunately, the ladder was placed directly under the gargoyle and the hat was one top, meaning it was kind of hard to reach.

Now, a smart person might have climbed down, moved the ladder to the side a little and the climbed back up. But Slughorn had pretty much spent all his energy getting up there once – there was no way he was going to climb all the way up again. And besides, he wasn't about to let anyone else get the glory for this act – it would be he, Horace Slughorn, who would be remembered for this valiant act of bravery.

So he put his had in the open mouth of the gargoyle, gripped the bottom jaw, put one foot on the thing's leg and hauled himself up.

This position gave the students an unfortunate view of the Professor's behind, but we won't get into that right now.

Then he was able to grab the damn hat – which fell limp and silent the moment he got it off the head of the gargoyle – and then began to lower himself down onto the ladder.

Or so he thought.

The top rung of the ladder was a little higher than he thought it was, and Slughorn's foot fell down to the next rung, which was several inches lower.

Have you ever been climbing a set of stairs without being able to see where you're putting your feet? When you did that, did you ever expect there to be one more step than there was? Well, you know that feeling of putting your foot down but not meeting any resistance, that feeling of falling forward through the air and that fear of breaking your neck?

Yeah, imagine that when you're fifteen feet in the air, clutching a hat and trying to get down a spindly ladder with hundreds of your students and several of your colleagues watching you.

Not the best feeling in the world.

Nothing happened of course, as the ladder was strengthened and stabilised – besides, Professors Sprout and Flitwick were ready for any needed levitation or cushioning charms – but Slughorn did panic and quickly wrapped his arms around the gargoyle's neck, dropping the hat in the process.

Professor Sprout raised her arm and caught the hat with one hand. As she did so she let out an uncharacteristic whoop of victory, and was applauded by the entire student body, as well as the staff, for the hat was now down from the gargoyle, and all was well.

Or so they thought.

Slughorn was very annoyed. _He_ was the one that went up the ladder. _He_ was the one that got the hat down. But it was Professor Sprout that got the glory for catching the damn thing, and while they were all celebrating he was still stuck in the air hugging a stupid statue.

Life wasn't fair.

* * *

><p>Everyone was talking about breakfast as they walked through the corridors. It was one of the most interesting breakfasts yet – Lily Evans was pregnant with Peter Pettigrew's baby, Frank liked children's songs and sang them to fight off his depression, James Potter was mad with grief that Lily had turned him down <em>again<em> and thought he was some medieval hero and that the walls of the school were actually bloodthirsty dragons while the teachers had gotten into an epic battle of wits with the sorting hat.

Ah, Hogwarts gossip. They had all seen it and yet the stories still managed to get exaggerated.

But everyone was wondering about the whereabouts of Sirius Black. He hadn't been seen since he'd left the hall.

On a completely unrelated subject, one of the Hogwarts suits of armour seemed to have gained a life of it's own. Or maybe it was more than one – there were reports of attacks from all over the castle. The armour was jumping out at unsuspecting students, jabbing them in that sweet spot just under the ribs and then jumping away again. Whenever the students turned around, it was gone.

Word got around fast. May of the students were avoiding every single suit of armour they saw, but that didn't help – they were still getting jumped.

"I'm going to kill him," growled Lily.

"Who?" asked Hestia. "Sirius or Frank?"

"Can't I kill both?" she asked, pulling out her wand and making a show of carefully aiming it as Frank's back. "It would make me feel so much better."

Hestia grinned, but put her hand on Lily's wand, slowly pushing it down.

"Not in public, you can't."

"So I can tonight when he get back to the dorm?"

Hestia raised an eyebrow.

"Are you planning on spending yet another night in the boys dorm, Lils?"

"Hestia!" groaned Lily, noticing that a group of sixth year girls were listening in with wide eyes. "Thanks a lot!"

"Hey, you already announced to the world that you're carrying Pete's baby. How much worse can it get? We all know how babies are made…"

"I hate you," groaned Lily. "I really, truly hate you."

"No you don't," said Hest, grinning. "You just strongly dislike me at the moment. Don't worry though, you'll get over it. It's just the hormones talking."

"Urgh!"

"Hiiyah!" came a yell from behind, and then suddenly Lily felt a jab at her waist.

"I'm going to kill him!" she exclaimed once more.

By the time they made it to Transfiguration, Lily was on her last nerve. This game was fun, really it was, but she could hardly stand all the looks she was getting. It only got worse when she sat next the James when she entered the classroom. Of course, everyone thought James didn't know as he'd been out stealing a sword when she'd made her big announcement. But of course, he wouldn't have read all about it on the parchment by now.

"So, what did you get?' she asked wearily.

"I have to attend sessions with Madam Pomfrey every Sunday morning until he end of the year or until she deems me sane, and I got twenty points taken from Gryffindor for breaking into the headmasters office and stealing the sword," sighed James. "How about you?"

"Nothing yet," she said, "But when Madam Pomfrey catches up to me I'm afraid I'll get the same treatment Alice did, if not worse due to my 'reaction'."

"Lovely," said James. "I can't believe Remus dared you to do _that_ of all things."

"It could have been worse," said Lily thoughtfully.

"How?"

"It could have been Sirius."

"Touché."

_Hestia, T or D? –S_

_D… might as well get it over with while the whole school thinks we're all insane. –H_

_Right… well then in that case, I dare you to dress like McGonagall for this lesson and mimic her… also for this lesson. –S_

_Fine, whatever. Where are you, anyway? –H_

_Still jumping people. –S_

_I hate you for that, you know? –L_

_Yes Lily, you have made it quite clear. –H_

_I wasn't talking to you. –L_

_Me then? –S_

_Or me? –F_

_Bloody both of you! –L_

_Oooh, feisty. –S_

_Watch it. –J_

_What, afraid that you'll have yet another person getting with your girl, huh James? –S_

_Shut up. –P_

_Oh, hey Wormtail, where'd you get to? –J_

_I am holed up in some broom cupboard, trying to escape these damn birds. They're right outside the door! How do you get them to stop? –P_

_Sorry Pete. And you can just vanish them. –L_

_But…-P_

_Lils, you really think he could vanish them? Really? –J_

_Hey! –P_

_It's true, isn't it? –J_

_Whatever. –P_

_Don't worry Wormtail, I'll rescue you. I'm not too far from you, I've got the map. Just hold up, then we can be late for Transfiguration together. –S_

_Sure. Thanks. –P_

_What are friends for if not for getting each other out of sticky situations cause by girls? –S_

_I resent that. –H_

_I don't. He just admitted we get them into sticky situations. –L_

_True! yeah, okay, I like it too. –H_

_Oh, snap! –A_

_Dude, who says that any more? –S_

_Not Sherlock Holmes, that's for sure. –L_

_Oh, that rhymed. Yay Lils, we're such a team! –S_

_Maybe. I still want to kill you though. –L_

_Well damn. –S_

_Ahem. That argument is very sound, my dear Watson. –A_

_Who's Watson? –L_

_Seriously Lily? How long have you known Alice? Watson is Holmes' friend/partner/companion, like a sidekick. He's smart, but Holmes always seems to make him sound dumb even though he isn't. –H_

_No, I meant which one of us in Watson, if Alice is Holmes? –L_

_If Holmes makes Watson sound dumb then I would have to say Sirius. –J_

_But that would mean Sirius is _actually_ really smart. –H_

_Oh yeah, right… Frank then? –J_

_I'm right here, you know! –S_

_Except none of us know where 'here' is… you still didn't tell us where you are. –H_

_Yeah, I thought you were going to rescue me? –P_

_All in good time, my fellow friend, I am just making a side trip to the kitchen. –S_

_Sirius, you just had breakfast! –L_

_Yeah, and SO much eating got done. But I'm not going for food, I am just checking out the house elves. Most of them have gone back to the kitchen now, although there are still a couple drunkenly wandering around. I saw one of the third floor a couple of minutes ago… I'm going to make sure they're all right and all, seeing as this was my fault. –S_

_Right… and you're getting some chocolate éclairs at the same time. –H_

_You know me so well! –S_

_Yeah, yeah. –H_

_Get me some too, Sirius? –P_

_Whatever. –S_

_Hey guys, McGonagall's nearly here, I can hear her coming. –R_

_What? –H_

_He has heightened senses because of his, well, you know, his furry little problem. –J_

_Oh. Right. –H_

_You ready Hest? –S_

_Yeah, of course I am. –H_

_Great! Man, I wish I were there to see this! –S_

_Me too. Then you could go mad and get another detention so we can actually get some sleep tonight. Man, I wish someone could get a detention. –H_

_But you said before you didn't want people to get detentions because that would make the Game go for longer? –J_

_I hate you all. –H_

_You need some coffee. –S_

_Shut up. –H_

_Coffee? –F_

_It's a Muggle drink, we discovered it a couple of years ago. It makes Padfoot go hyperactive. Very interesting. –J_

_And that is good because..? -F_

_Never said it was good. Just interesting. –J_

_Why does Hestia need it? –F_

_It has caffeine in it, which is apparently this stuff that wakes you up. –J_

_So it's like an awakening potion? –F_

_Not quite. It tastes a hell of a lot better. I need some too, actually, I miss it whenever I come here… -L_

_You want me to fetch some, Lils? We got the house elves to learn how to make it ages ago. –S_

_Sure, thanks. –L_

_And you'll rethink your plan of killing me? –S_

_Nope. –L_

_Damn. –S_

_You tried, Sirius. –J_

_What if I bring you two cups, Lils, with an extra shot of caffeine? –S_

_From the look on her face, I think you've won her over. –J_

_Pure genius, Sirius. –H_

_Why thank you. –S_

_Buckle up, she's here. –R_

_Oh Bloody hell. –H_

_Be brave Hestia, be brave. –L_

_You wouldn't be saying that if there wasn't coffee on the way. –H_

_I hate you. –L_

_That's not a nice thing to say to your friend when they're about to die. –H_

_Now, now, that's a little melodramatic. You're only going to get a detention at worst. –A_

_Yeah, and I thought you wanted someone to get a detention? –L_

_I hate you too. –H_

_Good luck. –L_

_For the love of Merlin, Sirius, HURRY UP! –P_

_Way to end the touchy-feely moment they were having. –S_

_Shut up, Sirius. –H_

_Yep, definitely. Many coffees, coming right up. I think we're all going to need it. –S_

* * *

><p><strong>So, there you go. As I said before, this was actually still only half way through what was originally going to be the chapter, hence the sucky ending. Oh well. <strong>

**Acknowledgements:**

**~_EC Scrubb_ suggested that Lily accuse Peter of getting her pregnant**

**~_PenBeatsSword _suggested that Frank sing "I'm A Little Teapot" and than James attack the wall with sword**

**~_Lexi-Rae_ suggested having someone (Sirius) dress in a suit of armour (which he was already in) and then jump out at people**

**~_XAnonymousXWriterX_ suggested that someone (Hestia) dress up and copy McGonagall while _Kezziegal_ suggested someone mimic a professor - I killed two birds with one stone here. **

**I think that's it. As always if I missed something please point it out and I'll add it. Thanks!  
><strong>


	20. The Owlery and The Whomping Willow

**So you're all ready to kill me again. Here's a chapter. Hopefully that will fend some of you off. -_throws chapter at angry hordes_-**

**Hope you're still reading! Seriously guys, sorry. Uni is ruling my life right now. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the other characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

THURSDAY MID-MORNING: The Owlery and The Whomping Willow

Minerva McGonagall prided herself on being a strict yet fair teacher. She was able to command the respect of a class without the need for overly severe punishments, and she could be well liked by the students without completely boycotting the schooling system and giving them free reign. She wasn't a pushover, not by anyone's standards, and she most definitely did not allow students to misbehave in her class.

The students knew this, and her classes held he record for the least amount of punishments necessary (notice the use of the word _necessary_, rather than _given_) purely because they knew not to mess around with her.

So she was a little surprised to walk into her seventh year class on Thursday morning to find that the whole thing was in a shambles.

She had known the Gryffindors were up to something, of course. It was rather obvious, especially considering the boys involved. They even called themselves _Marauders_ for Merlin's sake – if that wasn't asking for trouble, what was? She supposed she could see Miss Jones and Miss Prewett wishing for a little more fun, but she was surprised at Mr Longbottom and Miss Evans. But then again, Frank had been sharing a dorm with the 'Marauders' for six and a half years now and Lily had started to _date_ James Potter…

Minerva supposed it had to have happened some time. She had just hoped they would have all gone mad _after_ they graduated.

But despite knowing that they were up to something, it was still a right surprise to walk in and find Hestia Jones sitting straight-backed with her bright pink hair tied up in a messy bun (because she had tried to make it tight, but at that length it was a little hard even with magic) and wearing tartan robes.

Alice Prewett was wearing a really strange hat, seemed to be trying to read the scratches on the desk with a Muggle magnifying glass and– _was that a pipe_? They should know by now that such items were forbidden to students in Hogwarts! This was a _school!_

Meanwhile, James Potter and Lily Evans were chatting amongst themselves quietly (which was rather a relief) but Remus Lupin looked like he had been crying and Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black were nowhere to be seen.

The rest of the class looked ten shades of traumatised and were all sporting multiple bruises due to this morning's fiasco, something else that Minerva was certain the Gryffindors – especially Sirius Black – were involved in.

"What is going on in here?" she demanded, standing in the doorway.

"What is going on here?" came a voice from the back of the class. Minerva turned and, to her annoyance, saw that it was Hestia Jones attempting a slight Scottish accent.

Due to current circumstances, Minerva decided to let it go.

"All of you, calm down and facing the front, please! We have an important lesson today, and I would expect-"

"…and I would expect..."

Minerva frowned. She had paused because her voice was sounding like it had a shadow, and she knew exactly what that meant. She had, after all, taught the Marauders in their first year. While very enthusiastic, the pranks of eleven year olds tended to be rather unoriginal despite however creative they came to be in their later years.

"Miss Jones," she said in that civil if-you-don't-listen-to-me-you-will-be-in-detention -for-a-month voice, "What are you doing?"

"…are you doing?"

"Ten points from Gryffindor, and this is your last warning. Next time you will receive a detention."

"…will receive a detention."

"Professor," called Alice, "To be fair you haven't actually given Hestia a warning before the one you just issued."

"Yeah," said Lily, "But a first warning can still be a last one, can't it?"

"Fair enough," said Alice, shrugging.

McGonagall took a deep breath through her nose, calming herself and trying her utmost to ignore the fact that Hestia was doing exactly the same thing.

"Today we will be-"

-_Bang!_-

"…will be-"

"HELLO!"

"Mr Black!" exclaimed McGonagall, recovering from the shock of the door crashing open. Then Remus started crying and ran outside. "Miss Evans, please go and find out what is wrong with Mr. Lupin. Black, why are you so late? You too, Mr Pettigrew. I also hope that you will be able to explain why you thought it appropriate to bring mugs of coffee into my lesson – this is a classroom, not a café. And Miss Jones, that is one detention. You will be placed on the list of waiting detentions outside Filch's office, please check it when possible."

"…when possible."

"Well, you see professor, Peter here got lost-"

"I did not!"

"-so I found myself needing to rescue him-"

"You opened the cupboard door, big deal."

"But I figured, hey, if I'm going to be late to class anyway-"

"Like you care if you're-"

"I might as well have a trip to the kitchens on the way, because we all know just how well breakfast went this morning-"

"Oh yeah, because with the amount that you ate-"

"And all in all it was a beneficial experience all round because I got to take the damn suit of armour off, finally-"

"Something that we are all very glad about, yes."

"Very, very glad, do you have any idea how annoying it is to clank every time you walk? I swear Mrs Norris has been following me since last night-"

"Enough!"

"Enough!"

"Miss Jones that is another detention! Mr Black, Mr Pettigrew, twenty points from Gryffindor, and also a detention. Now, everyone please take your seats and we will begin the lesson!"

"…will begin the lesson."

Not long after that Lily and a tear-streaked Remus walked back into the classroom, but they managed to get in unnoticed as Minerva was a little preoccupied.

It is well known throughout the world that rumours had a habit of spreading quickly, and especially so within any school. It is also well known, by the wizarding community of Great Britain and Ireland at least, that rumours within the walls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – and indeed, even outside the walls and in the grounds – spread faster than a wildfire on a dry day in the Australian bush.

A well known fact, yes. But this one spread faster than any others.

By the end of the first lesson of the day, the entire school was talking about Professor McGonagall's apparent ability to shoot fire from her eyes. (The speed of this rumour seemed almost impossible – even those in the dungeons knew before McGonagall's class was dismissed. If it were a Muggle school cell phones might be considered the culprits, but in Hogwarts, it was a mystery. Rumours have such a will to be spread that they transcend the laws of life.)

Several people were claiming that McGonagall was so angry her animagus form changed into one of a fire breathing dragon (yes, one that _breathed _fire, not one that shot it out of its eyes) which many supposed would be a good thing – at least she would no longer get mistaken for Mrs Norris. Others claimed she turned so white she could've been mistaken for a vampire if her lips hadn't been pressed together as tight; so tight, in fact, that yet another rumour was flying around about her actually squashing her lips so that they were half an inch thinner, never mind that her lips were not exactly a half an inch to begin with.

But despite all these tales being vastly different, they all told the same general story. McGonagall was angry… very angry.

Every tale was in agreement of what began the incident. The Marauders and their friends all seemed to be out to sabotage the lesson.

Hestia, of course, started the entire thing. She had repeated every single word spoken by the professor until McGonagall 'lost it' and took her outside the room. Many words were exchanged, and all were heard by the class. Well, not exchanged exactly, as Hestia diligently repeated _every single word_. This meant McGonagall had quite a bit of difficulty attempting to punish her, as I'm sure you can imagine. Eventually Hestia was sent back to the dormitories for the rest of the class, losing many house points and with a detention count so high James and Sirius were quite jealous.

Then, Alice Prewett happened.

Of course, that was mostly Sirius' fault. He stood up the second McGonagall left the room – something that could have been predicted by anyone – but then he began moving around in a very odd way, jumping about while waving his arms in the air frantically. . It was supposedly dancing, but really he was just revelling in the fact that he could move freely without the armour. It was all well and good until he crashed into Lily's desk and went sprawling across the room, bringing James with him. Sirius just jumped up afterwards, all smiles like always. But James…

Well, James was lying on the floor, eyes wide open and a red liquid running down his forehead.

There may or may not have been a couple of screams from the Ravenclaw students (the Gryffindors were too busy trying not to laugh) at which point Alice jumped up with her magnifying glass and begin sniffing James' shoulder.

"Hmm," she said, rubbing her chin. "It would seem that he was knocked from behind by an extremely heavy and very soft object with a large surface area-" (this prompted a loud 'hey!' from Sirius) "- and he fell from his chair backwards… although the scraping on the floor here would indicate that the large object hit this side of Lily's desk which caused a large jerk… Well, Watson, I believe I can solve this myself. No need to go involving those slow imbiciles down in Scotland Yard, especially not Lestrade-"

She was cut off by the door slamming open as McGonagall arrived back into the room, having heard the yelling.

"What is going on?" she demanded for the second time that morning. Then she gasped as she noticed James. "Miss Prewett, stop whatever you are doing, go to the Hospital wing and inform Madame Pomfrey that we will be there shortly. Miss Evans, I will need you to-"

She stopped as James sat up from the floor.

"Why hello, Professor," he said, grinning widely. This was about the moment when the 'steam out of her ears; rumour started. _Then_ Alice bent down and wiped some of the red liquid off James' face, and then licked it off her fingers.

"Yes, just as I suspected," she said, nodding. "Tomato sauce. Watson, I believe this case has been solved. This man is not dead after all."

Several more detentions were added to the ever-growing list in a matter of seconds.

* * *

><p>"Never, ever make me do that again," groaned Lily, sliding down the wall and putting her head between her knees. "Never."<p>

"Oh, come on Lily, it wasn't that bad!" exclaimed Alice. "I had fun."

"Oh dear Merlin, they've corrupted you," groaned Frank.

"It was," Alice insisted.

"It was traumatic," whined Lily. "Really, really traumatic."

"At least you didn't have to do it in Flitwick's class," Remus pointed out, "I mean, at least you're still his favourite student."

Lily just let out another groan.

"I don't see what you're so sad about," said Hestia (who had 'escaped' the dormitories) from where she was standing with James, Sirius and Peter, the members of the group who were not huddled around Lily sympathetically. "I'm the one that had to impersonate her – all you did was sit and look pretty!"

"It was traumatic!" Lily repeated. "I never, ever-"

"Yeah, we get it Lilykins," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "You never want to watch us comply to a dare in McGonagall's class ever again."

"Can't you be little more understanding?" asked Remus, a tear leaking from his eye. (He had to poke himself in the eye again for that. No one can say Remus Lupin isn't committed!)

"No," said Sirius, scowling at him. "I had fun."

"I think I'm going to be sick," groaned Lily.

"You can't do that!" gasped James, "It's break, we have to go up to the Owlery."

"Now _I'm_ going to be sick," groaned Peter.

"Don't," said Remus seriously. "The smell of your vomit might attract more owls."

That didn't help in the slightest.

* * *

><p>Peter loved being a rat. He loved being able to go wherever he wanted, able to fit into tiny places no one else could. He knew the castle better than anyone, better than James and Sirius, better than Filch, probably better than even Dumbledore. He loved being able to walk along without being judged by all the people for being short and ugly and stupid and not as funny as his friends. Even though people tended to scream or shout when they saw a rat it was easy to stay unseen, and therefore he could wander about in near freedom.<p>

It was amazing.

Usually.

Not so much right now.

Peter stuck his head in through the door and sniffed, shuddering as the stench entered his overly sensitive nose, fighting every instinct in his tiny little body that told him to run.

He turned his head behind him and let a small, high-pitched whine that came out more like a squeak.

"Stop being such a chicken, Wormy," said Sirius, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Yeah, Wormtail," said James, "We'll be right here. If it looks like you're about to be eaten, we'll just-"

"Oh Merlin," groaned Hestia, "I didn't think of that! What if he gets eaten? Can you imagine what they'd put on his tombstone? 'Here lies Peter Pettigrew – in the form of owl droppings. To bad Hestia Jones thought it would be a good idea to throw him into a situation where he'd potentially end up as bird seed!'"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Sirius, "There's no way I'd let anyone put something so stupid on the grave of a Marauder. It would have to at _least_ rhyme!"

As James gave his best mate a high-five, Remus shook his head as if he were thinking _there is no reasoning with these people._ No doubt he was rolling his eyes, but the others couldn't tell because he had his blindfold back on – a nesecity after they realised it was going to take them a long time to get up to the owlery if Remus kept stopping to cry.

Unfortunately, the whole thing simply made Peter shake with fear.

"Come on, just get it over with," sighed Alice. "The sooner you get in there, the sooner you can come back out again."

Yeah, great. Only now Peter was of the opinion that when he came out he'd be on the inside of one of the owl's stomachs.

_Come on, Peter, don't think like that. You've faced worse before._ Yeah, the time that Remus had dared Peter to tell the centaurs that they weren't allowed to say they could see death in the future any more because Pluto was no longer a planet was not easy to forget.

But still, Alice was right. So he bravely put his nose through the crack in the door again, this time forcing himself not to recoil when he smelt the owl droppings.

He only had to make it around the room once, and then he'd be fine. That was all.

He knew that if one of the owls swooped for him and went to eat him he could change back. But that would mean forfeiting the bet and he knew the way his friends worked – he'd almost rather get eaten. That sounded quicker and less painful. Were these owls compassionate? Was there a chance that they'd kill him quickly?

Was it even possible for an owl to be _humane_?

Either way, this was not going to be fun.

Now, birds of prey have real good eyesight, everyone knows that. And, like every single creature in the world, they react to movement.

Most small creatures run when they get scared, listening to their 'flight' instincts. This burst of movement quickly attracts the attention of a predator, and as such the poor thing usually ends up eaten. Because yeah, while small little animals might have evolved to be able to evade predators, those predators have evolved to be able to _catch_ them, always one step ahead.

But Peter was not a small animal, not really. Despite what you could see on the outside he was still a human, and he could still think like one. So despite his rodent instincts telling him to _run_, and despite the fact that he wanted I to be over as quickly as possible, Peter took a small, slow step into the room, and then paused. He glanced up to the roof and fought not to squeak as he saw the hundreds of birds. No need to alert them to his presence this early on. Then, making sure his movements were slow and fluid, Peter careful began making his way to the right side of the owlery.

Slowly, slowly does it. Unlike this morning in the entrance hall, slow and steady _was_ the key to surviving here.

To move _quickly_ would be suicide.

Slowly, slowly. Take one step, then another. Keep the tail in a still, straight line. Do not make sudden, jerky movements. Keep it fluid. Look up constantly and walk underneath the beams that the owls were resting on. Yes, it put him in the firing range of the less than coveted horrible smelling owl droppings, but at least it was difficult for the owls to see him.

Slowly, slowly, carefully and soon Peter had made it to the wall. Allowing himself a small sigh and a pause, Peter then continued along the wall towards the far side.

Still moving slowly, Peter made it to the far curve in the wall and then he made it a good way along that.

Half way. Almost there. More behind than there was in front.

Unfortunately, he started to move a little quicker in his glee, and the next time he glanced up to check that he was under a beam…

_Oh crap. That owl has definitely opened its eyes…_

_For the love of Merlin, it's STARING at me!_

Peter froze, staring at the owl in horror. Because some small animals have another defence – playing dead. The idea is that if you don't move and pretend to be dead, the predator won't want you.

Unfortunately this does not work on scavengers. Nor does it work on animals that are used to eating things that are already dead in the form of Owl Treats.

The owl swooped down off its perch.

Peter screeched.

Then he ran.

Dear Merlin, did he run! Sirius would no longer be able to say that he was a slowpoke that was for sure!

But Peter's luck has never been known for being any good, and that owl's sudden movement woke up several other owls, and in a matter of seconds Peter was swamped in a flurry of feathers and grabbing talons and stabbing beaks.

_Now_ Peter was glad for that morning's fiasco. It gave him a bit of practice at dodging.

He ran for his life, legitimately able to say he had never been quite so terrified before. The fear coursed through his small body like he really _was _a rat now, and it caused him to focus on running, only running, and he forgot his fail safe – the fact that he could turn into a human so these attacks would only result in a sharp peck rather than death.

This was even worse than the centaur incident. Most definitely. The only consequence of that in the end, really, had been the centaurs deciding they would now predict _war_ instead which was basically the same thing. They might have shot a few warning arrows, but he was pretty sure he had never been close to death.

Not like this.

As he ran Peer felt a whoosh of wings on his back and he quickly leaped to the right, narrowly avoiding a pair of clawed talons. Not expecting its prey to move like that, the owl then seemed to completely misjudge the location of the wall (which Peter was still sicking to) and crashed into it.

Hearing Sirius' _whoop_ from outside the door caused Peter to almost growl as frustration and annoyance seeped through the terror. They were out there! His friends were out there! Couldn't they see what trouble he was in a come and help?

Apparently not.

But at least Sirius had reminded him that he was human, not a rat.

Peter was around the last corner now. He narrowly missed another beak that closed around empty air just a fraction of an inch away from the end of his tail, then made the final dash for the door. Only problem was the commotion of the last couple of seconds had woken up a whole load of other owls, and most of them were now either fluttering about trying to figure out what was going on or joining in on the hunt.

Peter decided that his favourite ones were the owls who opened one eye then simply closed it again and went back to sleep. Maybe he'd come back later to give them treats. But no time for that now, because all the other owls were on to him.

He was almost there when he heard a screech from behind him. It was close, so close, and he tried to put on an extra burst of speed. He could feel the air moving his fur as the owl beat its wings, he could almost sense the talons as they reached for him. The owl would not miss now – it had a perfect line, and there was no way Peter would be able to dodge…

But then he made one flying leap from the door, transforming as he flew through. He landed with a thump on his stomach, and then less than a second later the owl was clawing at his back.

"Oh my Merlin!" exclaimed Lily, rushing forward and shooing the owl back through the door. "Are you alright?"

"Don't ask stupid questions," he groaned, rolling onto his back and rubbing his face. "I never want to do that again."

"No doubt," said Frank. "No one sensible would."

"And you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" asked Sirius. Frank just rolled his eyes in response.

"Come on," sighed Lily, "We'd best get to class now."

"Right, potions," said James, "Of course you're in a rush."

Lily stuck her tongue out at him like the very mature head girl that she was.

As they started the long trek down to the dungeons, they continued pausing to lean on walls and write.

_Frank, T or D? –J_

_D. –F_

_Put a spell on Peeves to make him all nice and polite. Like an old fashioned butler or something. –J_

_Or something? –F_

_You know what I mean. –J_

_Fine. –F_

"Do you know a good spell?" asked Sirius.

"Do I- Now that's just insulting. Don't you remember the debacle in second year where that spell was popular and everyone probably would have gotten obese in a couple of weeks due to the sheer amount of biscuits being handed out if McGonagall hadn't put a stop to it? Of course I do!" exclaimed Frank.

"A simple yes would have sufficed," sighed Sirius as Frank walked off.

"Peeves is in a classroom on the fourth floor!" called James after quickly scanning the map.

They had made it to the potions classroom by the time Frank caught up with them again, panting from running all the way down in an attempt to not be late. When they got there, Slughorn threw open the door with a crash and then ushered them all in angrily.

"Man, the doors of Hogwarts are not having a good day," muttered James as they took their seats.

"You do realize that they are inanimate objects, and therefore do not have a concept of a 'good day'?" asked Alice.

"They might not, but it doesn't mean we can't for them," said Sirius.

"Besides," added James, "How do you know that they aren't inanimate?"

"They do not move, they do not live, and they do not think," said Alice sternly. "That kind of is the definition of an inanimate object. If you want, I could pull out an Oxford English Dictionary, I have the 5⅜ edition in my bag right now-"

"Do you know what happens after death?" asked James.

"What?"

"Death. What happens after it?"

"Nobody knows."

"Not even you?"

"As much as it pains me to say it, that is the one thing that will always remain a mystery. Not even the ghosts can answer that question."

"Well then, how do you know the door is inanimate?"

Alice stared at him for a second, hoping he might explain a little further. But he didn't. So…

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked. "Because they way you are acting would suggest that there is a disturbance in your mind."

"Look," said James, "The doors in Hogwarts are made of wood, right? And wood is basically a dead tree. When someone or something dies, how do you know that their mind is not trapped inside their body, and it's just the body that is dead?"

"Because the ghosts-"

"And how do you know that their consciousness after death, wherever it goes, is not still connected to the body?"

"Because the ghosts say that it isn't!" exclaimed Alice. "And as they are the only witnesses we have access to who have experienced death, it must be true. There are hundreds of ghosts who have said the same thing."

"Except there are no ghosts of trees around the place, are there? How do you know that death for trees is the same as death for humans?"

"This has to be the weirdest argument I have heard," said Remus, "And that really is saying something."

"I don't think letting Alice and James argue with each other was a good idea," said Hestia.

"Would have been worse if Padfoot joined in," said Peter.

"Maybe when trees die they don't actually die, their consciousness just multiplies so it can fill all the little pieces the wood gets in to," said Sirius. Then his eyes widened. "Oh my Merlin, that's freaky. That would mean that when I walk on woodchips I'm walking on hundreds of thinking beings and, and… Guys, the trees are going to take over the world! EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"Wormtail!" growled Remus while James shook with laughter and Alice's head hit her desk, "You jinxed it!"

"I don't get what that means," said Frank, "He didn't jinx anything."

"Muggle saying Remus picked up from his Muggle mother," said Peter to Frank. "But I was right, though."

Remus looked like he was preparing a very witty comeback, but he was interrupted.

"Quiet, all of you!" yelled Slughorn. "You will all turn your books to page 176 and begin making the potion. Immediately. I do not want any talking, and I do not want _any_ messing around. Twenty points from the house of anyone who does not finish the potion by the end of the hour, and a further five points for every step done incorrectly. Now GET TO IT!"

"Someone's angry," muttered Hestia, raising her eyebrows.

"I blame Moony," said Sirius, holding a hand up in the air.

"Technically, you should blame Prongs, because he's the one that gave me that dare," said Remus.

"If you say that, then you should blame Padfoot who truthed me before that so I was actually able to give that dare," said James.

Peter had difficulty understanding, but figured it didn't matter because he figured he'd best get started on his potion.

"That won't work," said Sirius, "Because by that logic it was Alice's fault who truthed _me_ before _that_. Anyway, just because it was your turn doesn't mean you _had_ to pick that particular dare."

"That's true," said James thoughtfully. Then his eyes lit up. "Of course, by any form of logic it is all _your_ fault anyway, Pads, because you're the one that suggested we play this in the first place."

"You know it's a tradition," said Sirius.

"Yes, but you were the one that came up with the idea back in first year so really-"

"Shh," hissed Lily, "You're going to get us all in trouble."

_Fine then. Slughorn didn't say anything about passing notes. –S_

_I think that is commonly accepted as being against school rules during class. –H_

_Ah, but this isn't technically passing notes. There is no 'passing' going on. –J_

_The man has a point. –S_

_Personally, I don't see how he can be classified as a 'man' –A_

_Hey, I'm 17! –J_

_Makes no difference, really. Besides, in the Muggle world, you still have to go through another birthday. –A_

_You make birthdays sound an awful lot more painful than they really are. –S_

_It's a gift. –A_

_We aren't in the Muggle world. –J_

_No, but if we're going by the definition that most people use, you aren't an adult until you turn 18, because there are more Muggles than Magical folk. –A_

_Now you're making us sound like fairies, going and using words like 'folk'. –S_

_The age is different in other countries though, so that's only in Britian, right? –J_

_And most of America. –A_

_And Australia. –A_

_And China. –A_

_And India. –A_

_And France. –A_

_Okay, I get it! –J_

_And most of the rest of the world. There are some countries where it's even higher than 18 –J_

_My point still stands, though. HERE it's 17. –J_

_Seriously guys, focus. Do you not realize how many points Slughorn is going to take from Gryffindor at this rate? And it's not like we have many to loose… -L_

_So? We'll win it back in Quidditch. –J_

_Not this many. –L_

_The Lady has a point. –A_

_Hey, how come she gets to be a Lady but I can't even be a man? –J_

_I like her more. –A_

_Did you seriously just call Lily a Lady? –H_

_I'm getting on her good side. –A_

_Not working. –L_

_Damn. –A_

_Hey, but she does have a point. Is it possible to go into the negatives when it comes to house points? –H_

_The House Cup isn't as important as the Quidditch Cup anyway. Quidditch Cup is a measure of skill. House Cup is simply which house is full of the most goody goody two shoes. –S_

_Besides, Ravenclaw is thrashing Slytherin at the moment, so we're safe. –J_

_You would only try to win if Slytherin were in the lead? –F_

_Why do you look so surprised? This is the Marauders. –A_

_True that. –F_

_No, we wouldn't. –J_

_But I thought that was what you meant? –H_

_No, what we meant was that we would simply sabotage the Slytherins and get either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff back on the lead again. We loose so many points there's hardly any point in trying to win. –S_

_Yeah, we just don't want the Slytherins to think they are actually winning something that matters. –J_

_Idiots. –H_

_I resent that. –S_

_Of course you do, that's why I said it. –H_

_Actually, you _wrote_ it. –S_

_I hate you. –H_

_I know. –S  
><em>

…_And getting onto a new topic, Hestia, truth or dare? –F_

_With Slughorn acting like that? Truth. –H_

_Um… how different do you think your life would be if you weren't sorted into Gryffindor? –F_

_Well, I wouldn't be playing this stupid game for one thing. (And I say that with affection.) –H_

_Seriously, Frank? You couldn't think of anything better? –S_

_Truths are hard, okay? –F_

_Not for me. –S_

_Yes, we all know what sort of truths you end up asking. Just go for it, Hest, that can't be it. –A_

_It's not, but can I have one second? This might take a little while but I have to stir my cauldron properly and that will need focus. –H_

_And Sirius, before you say anything about house points, I want you to know that I'm doing this for my grade. –H_

_Fair enough. –S_

_I am amazed. –A_

_Seriously? Come on, I know how important this class is if you want to be an Auror. –S_

_Who says I want to be an Auror? –H_

_Um, well, you might want to be, or you might… um, I don't know. Is it so bad that I want my girlfriend to have as many options in life as possible? –S_

_I would say 'aw, sweet' if that had come from any other person. –A_

_Thanks. –S_

_No problem. –A_

_Alice your potion is on fire. –S_

_Crap. –A_

_Ah, the joys of distractions. –S_

_Padfoot, your potion is emitting some weird and scary looking scarlet smoke. –L_

_Crap! –S_

_Ah, the joys of karma. –L_

_Well, my potion needs to sit for a bit now so I'm good to be writing. –J_

_Me too. –H_

_How the hell did you do that and write so much? –J_

_I am a woman. I can multitask. –H_

_I can multitask! –J_

_Yeah, Prongs can do his charms work and stare at Lily at the same time… although that usually results in him getting a P. –P_

_Wormtail! –J_

_Sorry. –P_

_Haha. I am laughing very hard. –H_

_No you aren't, you're just staring at the parchment with a weird loo on your face. –P_

_I am trying very hard _not_ to laugh but laughing on the inside. There's a difference. –H_

_You look like you have constipation. –P_

_And you're shaking. –J_

_I think I just broke a rib. –H_

_Honestly, it wasn't _that_ funny. –J_

_Yes it was, James, yes it was. –H_

_You're handwriting is suddenly very messy. –P_

_Well hardy har, let's laugh at poor Hestia who is trying not to laugh. –H_

_You look better now. –P_

_Because now I am irritated. –H_

_I think you have bad mood swings. –P_

_ANYWAY, moving away from that dangerous territory, Hestia, you have a truth to complete. –J_

_Oh yes. Okay, hang on let me write it up. No interrupting. –H_

_As I said before, the most obvious difference is I don't think I would be playing this game. Okay, so maybe the _most_ obvious one is that I wouldn't be wearing red and gold stuff. I'm not sure which house I would be in… if I were put in Ravenclaw my life would be different because for that I would have to be smarter and therefore I would be doing better in my classes. If I were in Hufflepuff I would be a lot fatter because a) the common room is right next to the kitchens and b) you don't have to walk up and down so many stairs all the time. Even if you do for classes you don't on weekends and stuff. –H_

_I'm just going to hope that I wouldn't get put in Slytherin, so I'm not going to mentions what I think would happen if I were. –H_

_I doubt I would be such good friends with Lily. I mean, we are so different, but when you share a dorm with someone it just forms a bond, you know? Like, I reckon Frank would be a Marauder if he hadn't already known all those Hufflepuffs from dinner parties with his Grandmother and whatever and hung out with them all the time. Yeah, okay, we click really well and stuff, but we probably would never have had the chance to do so if we weren't in the same dorm. –H_

_Also, I wouldn't even _think_ about talking to Mary or Marlene. They are just kind of… well, Marlene's okay, but Mary is a little… well, a little like Tasha Brown. –H_

_Oh My Merlin, can you imagine – if I were put in Hufflepuff I would have died, not just from obesity or a heart attack but because I would have o share a dorm with Brown. Merlin, I'm glad I didn't end up there. –H_

_If I didn't have to share a common room with the Marauders and I wasn't friends with Lily so I could see just how irritating they could be I probably would have gone out with Sirius sooner. But then I would have been one of those completely uninteresting girls and he would have quickly dropped me. So there's another difference. –H_

_Um… I think that might be it, except for the fact that my life would be a hell of a lot less weird and the teachers would like me more. –H_

_We aren't irritating! –J_

_Is that seriously all you got out of that? –R_

_I say we are irritating. We've worked so hard to be after all. –S_

_Yeah, to teachers and Slytherins, not fellow Gryffindors. –J_

_Ah, but she wouldn't have been a Gryffindor, would she? –R_

_Very good point about the kitchens though. It's a good thing I didn't end up in Hufflepuff, it could have ruined my figure! –S_

_Yeah, and maybe then your parents wouldn't have been so disappointed and they wouldn't have kicked you out and then you couldn't have com to live with me. –J_

_Nah, mate, the only thing even slightly acceptable after Slytherin to them is Ravenclaw, but even then I'd have been a disgrace because I would still have been the only non-Slytherin member of the family. –S_

_True that. –J_

_Hestia, I thought that was very deep and meaningful… although do you really think we wouldn't have ended up friends? –L_

_Lily… -H_

_No, I understand, seriously. I mean, if you weren't in Gryffindor you wouldn't be the same person anyway, so no, we wouldn't have clicked. You see what I mean. –L_

_Aw, Lils, we were made for each other! –H_

_I think you have competition, Prongs. –S_

_You do realize that's your girlfriend, right? –J_

_Oi, Hestia, stop that! –S_

_Ahem. Lily, T or D? –H_

_Seriously? I'm working. –L_

_Too bad. T or D? –H_

_Fine, T. –L_

_If you had to go without one of these three for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, which would you pick: anything magical, including wands, potions, brooms etc; other people; or your sight? –H_

_Magic. –L_

_You don't even have to think about that? –H_

_Well, I did live my first 11 years as a Muggle, although I suppose it would be hard to go back into the Muggle world now as I have missed years of schooling. –L_

_Right, that makes sense. –H_

_Wait, wait, wait, does this include magical people? Like if I couldn't have contact with anything magic would it include magical people, like you guys? Because if that's the case I would pick sight. –L_

_I didn't think of that. I suppose it doesn't really matter though, you've answered the question very clearly. –H_

_And it's nice to know you love us so much you wouldn't even consider giving us up! –S_

_I was thinking of Professor Binns, actually. Can't go without him. –L_

_Oh, burn. –A_

_You guys seriously have an unhealthy obsession with that ghost. –S_

_We're girls. –H_

_I hate you. –S_

_The feeling is mutual. –H_

_But I do think magical things include magical beings like ghosts and elves and centaurs and phoenixes, yes. –H_

_Damn. –L_

_So you would pick sight? –A_

_Plenty of people go about their lives blind. I can't see why I should be any different. –L_

_Because you like to read? –P_

_There is such a think as braille, you know. –L_

_It would be difficult to learn though. –J_

_Not for Lily if it's the only way she could read. –R_

_Shut up. –L_

_Oh, Slughorn alert! –S_

By the end of the class, Slughorn had calmed a little. But not much. By this point, students walking in the entrance hall (which was now thawed) were stopping and staring in amazement at the hourglasses. Well, one in particular.

While the Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff House hourglasses had decent sized piles of emeralds, sapphires and pieces of amber piled up inside them, Gryffindor's was completely empty.

In a classroom on he fourth floor, a first year Gryffindor was awarded five points for correctly answering a question.

Students in the entrance hall watched with bated breath as five small rubies fell from the top of the hourglass to the bottom. But they had barely touched the gold surface when they were quickly sucked back up into the top section of glass.

That day, a new entry appeared in _Hogwarts, A History_ – a book which had been charmed by the publishers to automatically update itself when something exciting happened, so new editions did not need to be published.

Because on that day, Gryffindor House achieved something that never had been achieved before. It set a new record. It did something special.

Hestia's question had been answered.

It _was_ possible to get negative house points.

Gryffindor was once again in the history books, and none of the Gryffindors were happy about it.

* * *

><p>"I… hate… walking… up… steps," panted Alice, pausing on a platform for a breath. "Seriously, which genius decided to put divination immediately after potions on our schedule, hmm?"<p>

"Don't fret," said James, "We have a free after lunch. Then you can go sleep or something."

"Free periods are for studying," exclaimed Lily, "Not for sleeping!"

"Lily," said Alice, looking at her tiredly, "Normally I might agree with you, but I haven't had a decent night's sleep since Sunday. I think I deserve it."

"Or you could just sleep in divination," said James, which gained him a slap over the head.

"Haven't you seen the hourglasses?" hissed Lily.

"I believe we have already had this conversation," said James.

Remus wasn't paying any attention. He was just happy that he was now separated from Sirius.

Meanwhile, the other four Gryffindors had made to their class (because they had such a shorter distance to go) and were back to working on Thestrals. Professor Kettleburn seemed to have recovered from his scare earlier in the week although he did still give Peter many worrying looks.

_Peter, Truth or Dare? –L_

_Truth. –P_

_Wimp. –S_

_You know what happened last time I picked dare in this class! –P_

_Yeah, but it's Lily. –S_

_What is that supposed to mean? –L_

_I think that's my cue to leave this conversation. –S_

_Good idea. Peter, I'm curious. –L_

_So just bloody ask. –S_

_I thought you were leaving. –L_

_I am! Look: -__Sirius Black is leaving the conversation- -S_

_If your aiming to sound like a Muggle IM conversation, it would say: Sirius Black has left the conversation –L_

_-__**Sirius Black has left the conversation**__- -S_

_Oh good. So, Peter, I want you to tell me what you think of your animagus form. I mean, James gets a stag, the very annoying person gets a dog and you only get a small creature. How do you feel about that? What does that say about you? –L_

_That's more than one question. –P_

_Just answer it. –J_

_Well, I love it really. Being so small means I can sneak around easily. And okay, so I might not be able to help much with Moony's furry little problem but come on, the two of them wouldn't be able to get I an out of the shrieking shack if it weren't for me. So really, I am very important to the operation. –P_

_That is true. –J_

_As for what it says about me, well, I know about all those expressions like 'ratting someone out' and stuff like that, but I don't see it that way because that's just human perception of what a rat is like, you know? It's not actually true. I just see it as me being a small member of the group that everybody overlooks, but really I'm very important and they need me. –P_

_Really? –L_

_We do need you, Pete. –J_

_Aw, brotherly moment. Come in for an imaginary hug, guys. –R_

_You're being very emotional. –J_

_Is it that time of the month, _Moony_? –L_

…_-R_

_That wasn't funny. –R_

_If anyone is interested, Sirius almost just killed himself –P_

_I think Professor Kettleburn now thinks _he_ has a mental problem. –P_

_Laughter is good you, but that just looks nasty. –F_

_Is that noise natural? It sounds like his throat is turning inside out. –H_

_That was not a mental image I needed. –J_

_Sorry. –H_

_James, T or D? –P_

_D. –J_

_-__**Sirius Black has joined the conversation**__- -S_

_Finally! Someone picked dare! –S_

_Feeling better Pads? –J_

_Marginally. –S_

_Good, good. –J_

_Nice to know you care. –S_

_Just don't want you to miss your detention tonight. –J_

_WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP DOING THIS TO ME? –S_

_James, you are not allowed to use magic (except for dares as decreed by Rule 14) until the beginning of dinner. And by the beginning of dinner I mean the very first bite that Remus takes. –P_

_But what about his classes? –L_

_He'll just have to suffer. –R_

_Oh, damn, this is going to be hard. –J_

_Blame Hestia for giving me the idea earlier. –P_

_I thought we all agreed to blame everything on Sirius. –H_

_Now hang on! –S_

_Sirius, T or D? –J_

_D. –S_

_I dare you not to talk (except for dares as decreed by Rule 14) until the start of dinner. And by the start of dinner I mean the very first bite that Remus takes. –J_

_I'm not sure I'm okay with all this pressure you're putting on to me. –R_

_That's not fair. –S_

_Call it karma. –J_

_Really, It's making me worried… -R_

_I hate you, Prongs. –S_

_That's getting old. –J_

_Can I sue you or something for stealing my words? And if so can Moony be the judge, because he always makes you pay in chocolate and I'm hungry. –P_

_Please leave me out of this. –R_

_Oh, but please! –P_

_Shut up, Wormtail. –J_

_Not saying anything. –P_

_Hestia, T or D? –S_

_D. –H_

_Oooh, we're on a roll! Hestia, I dare you to go and get a branch off the Whomping Willow. Just a small one. More like a twig really. But you have to actually get one. –S_

_Don't you remember what happened to Davey Gudgeon when he tried to get close? And he wasn't even trying to harm it! –H_

_Ah, but Hestia, you have inside information! –J_

_What do you mean? –H_

_The Marauders are on your side, my dear. –R_

_And that helps how? –H_

_Okay, look at this. –J_

_(insert crudely drawn sketch of tree) –J_

_This is the Whomping willow. –J_

_That looks nothing like the Whomping willow, it looks like a stick with a cloud on top. –H_

_Use your imagination. Okay, now about here- -J_

_(Insert crudely drawn sketch of tree with arrow pointing to bottom of trunk) –J_

_-is a knot. It's pretty big, an easy to spot. You just have to grab a stick and press on it. –J_

_That drawing really didn't help. –H_

_Use your imagination! –J_

_Lets just say, hypothetically, I have no imagination… where is it? –H_

_Don't worry Hestia, it really is easy to spot. –R_

_But how the hell am I supposed to press it? I figure that's usually what Peter does, right? –H_

_Yep. That's my job. –P_

_You can simply levitate a stick and jab it into the knot from a safe distance away but remember that it only freezes for about fifteen seconds so you will have to be quick. –R_

_Are you telling me that I'm not needed? –P_

_No. –R_

_But if all it takes is a levitating charm… -P_

_Come on, Wormy, how did you think Madam Pomfrey does it? –J_

_But that means you don't need me, and I am useless after all. –P_

_No it doesn't. Honestly, Wormtail, levitation charms are kind of hard to perform when you're in animal form. –J_

_I suppose. –P_

_Can we stop yabbering on and focus on my imminent death? –H_

_You know, I'm rather surprised that Alice didn't know what happened after death. You lot seem to be dying quite frequently. –F_

_We're all zombies. –S_

_But I thought that zombies can be killed by being but through the head..? –F_

_We're zombie zombies. In some cases, zombie zombie zombie zombies. –S_

_Zombie__3__ zombies? –F_

_I like this guy. –S_

_Frank, you have been spending _way_ too much time with Alice. Sirius, I don't know how you know what a zombie is, but it's you so… -L_

_I discovered them on this thing called the '_in-ter-net' _while I was at Remus'. –S_

_Of all things for you to find on the internet… -L_

_It could have been worse. –R_

_I think that's going to become my new motto. –L_

Hestia had given up trying to talk sense into her friends and decided that her best bet was to try and sneak out of the class. That shouldn't be too hard, seeing as this was a care of magical creatures class and Kettleburn had his hands full stopping students from walking into the 'invisible' Thestrals. When he wasn't doing that, he was shooting furtive glances at Sirius and Peter.

So sneaking away wasn't hard, and there was no one anywhere near the Willow, as per usual.

The tree itself wasn't very big, as it had only been planted seven years before. No one knew why at the time – they just assumed it was something Professor Sprout had adopted after one of her trips overseas. But Hestia now knew it was for Remus.

Anyway, because it was small it didn't have a particularly long reach, so Hestia could get in pretty close. She found that Remus had been right – the knot was pretty easy to see, although it was on the root rather than on the trunk like James' ridiculous diagram had made it out to be. Spotting a small stick sitting on the ground a couple of yards away, Hetsia quickly levitated it and then used it to prod the knot.

The tree instantly froze.

Grinning in triumph but remembering what Remus had said about it only lasting approximately fifteen seconds, Hestia rushed in and grabbed hold of small twig, and pulled.

Nothing happened.

She went to snap it, but the wood was slightly supple. Just her luck that the Whomping willow was one of those trees which had sticks that were difficult to break. She tried again, twisting it slightly, but before she could do anything she hit hard in the chest and she went flying backwards.

"Ow," she groaned. But it felt only bruised. She was lucky. If she had been further away so the Willow could have had more of a swing she might have broken some ribs.

She sat there on the grass for a moment, making a plan. Then she stood up and prodded the knot again. But this time, instead of rushing in, she stayed where she was and counted, keeping her numbers evenly spaced.

"…5…6…7…"

The tree unfroze when she reached sixteen.

So, Remus had been right about the whole fifteen-second thing. So she figured that if she prodded it, she should start counting, get in, they get back out after she hit ten. Then she would be safe.

But how to get the twig off?

Oh. Of course.

Hestia grabbed her bag, opened up her potions case and pulled out her silver knife. That would help, no doubt.

Then she simply kept to an easy rhythm.

Prod the tree.

_1…2..._

Get to the twig.

…_4…5…_

Start to cut.

…7…8…9…10…

Get away from the tree.

…_15…16._

Start again.

It only took her about three times through before she had a decent sized stick in her hand and the Whomping Willow was behind her as she headed back to her class.

Kettleburn was going on about something to one of the Slytherins, and took no notice.

_How'd you go, Hest? –S_

Hestia grinned and held up the stick. It was wiggling slightly, but otherwise was just a normal looking stick.

_Did you get it? –J_

_Got it. –H_

_So… now what do you do with it? –F  
><em>

_Bet you could sell it for a decent amount of profit. –S_

_No, keep it. It's useful in many different potions, but it's very expensive to buy. –L_

_Exactly, so sell it. –S_

_I think I'll just hang on to it for now. Maybe it will come in handy later. Remus, T or D? -H_

* * *

><p>"Hello, good sir. May I take your cloak?"<p>

_Frank, you really are a genius. And I don't say that often. –S_

"You've been calling people a genius quite a lot, actually," said Peter.

_Not Frank, though. –S_

"Thanks," said Frank, rolling his eyes.

"Hello madam, you are looking nice today. May I take your cloak?"

"The world is mad," said Hestia, shaking her head.

"No, just us," said Alice, skipping forward to the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Good day, miss," exclaimed Peeves. "Might I take your cloak?"

"I think I'll be leaving it on, thank you," said Alice. "You seem to have quite a pile there and I don't want to loose it."

"Oh no, you don't understand," said Peeves, "If you want to dine today you must remove your cloak. It is impolite to dine at a table while wearing one, you see."

"But it's cold," she exclaimed.

"You must hand it over or I will not be able to allow you in. You must be dressed appropriately."

"But-"

"Cloak," said Peeves, holding out his hand and looking slightly menacing.

Alice huffed, and handed it over. Peeves very carefully folded it up, then floated up and set it down on the huge pile of cloaks behind him. Then he came back down, turned to James and said:

"Hello, sir. May I take your cloak?"

Needless to say, it took them a while before they got into the Great Hall for lunch.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so I know there are things here out of time, like the Pluto thing and the internet, but I've done it before so I figured a couple more times can't hurt.<br>**

**Acknowledgements:**

**~I have said before that _XAnonymousXWriterX_ and _Kezziegal_ are the ones who suggested Hestia mimic McGonagall**

**~_BluebirdiexD_ suggested that someone cut a branch off the Whomping Willow (and don't worry, I'll do the rest too eventually)**

**~_EC Scrubb_ suggested that Peeves get pranked, and _theotherguy12345_ suggested making him polite like a English butler. This will be continued, as I'm sure you guys can tell.**

**~Of course, _the unbirthday girl_ thought that Peter would enjoy a trip to the owlery in rat form**

**~_Of All The Choices_ thought up both Hestia's dare of how life would be different if not in Gryffindor AND Lily's dare of what she would rather go without; magic, people or sight.**

**~_Laveycee_ suggested Peter's truth of what he thought his animagus form said about him as a person, I hope I did that justice, what do you guys think?  
><strong>

**~_DivergentRavenclawOfDistrict12_ suggested that James go without magic **

**~_Phoenix Call_ suggested that Sirius not talk. Both of these are also going to be continued.**

**So I Hope you have enjoyed this! I have 2,000 words for the next chapter all ready, so hopefully it will be up a little bit faster. I'll do my best! And as per usual, if I used your idea but have not acknowledged you please please PLEASE tell me, because I love you all and try to show that! Thanks you guys!**


	21. A Talk and an Epic Love Story

**So I didn't know how to start this and ended up with another random song. Yay. **

**I would like to start by apologising to anyone who absolutely hates Pokemon. Next, to those who love Pokemon, because I am sure I massacred it. My only knowledge comes from the game I used to play on a Gameboy Colour back in the day and a 30 second Google search. So sorry about that. **

**Also, as I re-read this I realised some parts might be slightly insulting to some people. Sorry if you feel like I have insulted you, but I honestly did not mean it that way. I mean, I got my friend to read it and she doesn't think it is, but just in case.**

**One more thing: I LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I HAVE SO MANY AND I AM VERY HAPPY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the multitudes of other recognisable things in here. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

THURSDAY MID-DAY: A Talk and an Epic Love Story

"_Oh food, glorious food, hot chocolate and custard! Three candies a day, mixed with lots of mustard! Give me some round chocolate cake, I'm always in that mood, oh FOOD, wondrous FOOD, magical FOOD, glorious FOOD!_" sang Sirius, skipping down between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables and throwing confetti.

"I don't know why we keep making him do this," said Remus, making sure to stare at his buttered roll rather than Sirius. "He can't actually sing."

"It's still funny though," said Alice.

"_Food glorious food, I so do love eating. Please give me pie, and then a sheep that's stopped bleating. Mix in some dark gravy, and a couple of peas, then FOOD! Wonderful FOOD, magical FOOD, glorious FOOD!"_

"Okay, now he's butchering it," sighed Lily. "I really did like this play until… well, I still do, but he's ruined the song for me."

Sirius, now having finished his singing and sitting down next to Lily, pulled out his parchment.

_I think I would like the play too, if it's about food. –S_

You know, because he still couldn't talk.

"Actually," said Lily, "It's more about the _lack_ of food, if anything."

_In that case, I've changed my mind. Although I must say that I have a new favorite song. –S_

"What, it's no longer 'I Feel Pretty'?" asked Peter.

Sirius shot him a dirty look.

_Alice, T or D? –S_

_D please. –A_

_Ooh, polite. As a reward for being polite, I give you the same dare that Lily gave Remus, because I think it will be awesome fun. You can have me and Lily. –S_

_Lily and I. –R_

_SHUT UP, YOU WERE NOT A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION! –S_

_I am not agreeing to this. –L_

_Fine, Lily, T or D. –A_

_T. –L_

_Ahem. –A_

_Damn, I knew I should have taken that dare in divination! Fine. D. –L_

_You have to do my dare with me. Sirius, you just volunteered, no getting out of it now or I will hate you forever. –A_

_Fair enough. –S_

_Frank, Hestia I believe we will be needing that distraction now. –J_

_I'm already in position. –H_

_So am I. And Remus, Sirius; James and I allow you out of your chicken for the duration of this dare. –F_

_I second that. –J_

"Awesome," said Remus, taking off his blindfold without fear of having to pretend to cry. "My eyes are getting really sore. I hate crying, why do you girls do it?"

Remus spent the next couple of seconds picking peas (courtesy of Hestia) corn (courtesy of Lily) and peppermint humbugs (courtesy of Alice) out of his hair.

_But Padfoot, I do not let you out of your talking dare for this one, because you don't need to _talk_, per se._ _–J_

_Damn. –S_

At that moment, there was a loud crash and a screech outside the Great Hall. The goings on of the past week gave the teachers much reason to worry, and they all rushed outside the doors. Well, all of them that were there – several teachers had opted to have lunch in their offices after the events of that morning.

In the confusion Lily, Sirius, James and Peter got up and hid behind the now vacant staff table. Then, when all the teachers were outside the hall, the doors slammed shut.

The students' reaction was mixed. After that morning they all knew what was coming now. Some were excited about what crazy thing would occur next. Others were worried that they would be the victims of the prank.

But none of them were expecting Remus Lupin to jump up from his seat and run down the length of the hall, yelling;

"I'm gonna be the very best, like no one ever was, to catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause!"

Nor did they expect Alice Prewett, of all people, to jump up and run forward as well.

"I will travel across the land," she sang, "Searching far and wide!"

"Each Pokémon to understand the power that's inside," continued Remus.

"Pokémon!" yelled Alice, "I've got to catch them all!"

"No way!" Remus yelled back. "_I'm_ going to catch them all, not you! Me!"

"_I'm_ the one that's going to be the very best," bragged Alice.

"_I'm_ going to become the Pokémon master!" exclaimed Remus.

"You can't do that if you don't beat me!" she countered.

"Fine!" yelled Remus. "We will just have to prove who's better! I challenge you to a Pokémon battle!"

"_Dun, DUN, __**DUN!**_" yelled a voice from behind the staff table. (It sounded remarkably like Sirius, but he would thoroughly deny it later on because that would mean he failed his dare. However, there was no proof and since their very own Sherlock Holmes had disappeared at the beginning of lunch, they had no choice but to drop all accusations.)

"Stantler," yelled Remus, pointing his wand forward and non-verbally casting a levitation charm, "I choose _you_!"

The levitation charm lifted James from his hiding place and then he landed with a thud on top of the table between Alice and Remus. He glanced back at Remus, and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't get what you want me to do," he said. Remus rolled his eyes and pointed his wand at him, reciting the spell that James had demonstrated to the Transfiguration class earlier that week.

"_Aequilibrius!"_

As a result, James turned into a stag, which was his animagus form. After all, the spell was something they had discovered in an old book when they were attempting to become animagi in the first place.

Alice wasn't far behind.

"Mightyena!" she called, "I choose you!"

A couple of seconds later and a large black dog was staring at the stag in amusement.

"Mightyena's natural something or other lowers Stantlers attack!" Alice yelled in glee. "Ha!"

Remus blinked.

"I _said_," growled Alice, "Mightyena's natural something or other lowers Stantler's attack!"

"I don't get what you want me to do!" exclaimed Remus, "Should I cut off one of his antlers?"

The stag turned to stare at Remus in horror, then slowly began backing away from him, towards Alice.

"Looks like that Stantler is too high a level for you to control," taunted Alice, "How many badges do you have?"

"Are we talking about boy scouts now?" asked Remus, confused. "I don't get it – none of this was in the TV show."

"TV show?" asked Alice, astounded. "You've gotta play the games, man!"

"You really love Muggle stuff, don't you," groaned Remus. "Wow, I am way out of my depth here."

The dog seemed to be laughing.

"I know!" exclaimed Alice, "Why don't we have a double battle?"

"Double?" asked Remus.

"We each get two Pokémon."

"Deal!" exclaimed Remus. "Rattata, I choose you!"

"Deerling, I choose you!" yelled Alice.

And then a rat and a doe had joined the other animals. The rat looked ecstatic. It jumped up and down and bared its teeth menacingly.

"Ah, Rattata," said Alice, shaking her head. "They always think they are more scary than they really are."

The doe, meanwhile, was a little wobbly and surprised. She wasn't an animagus like the others and had only turned as a result of the spell, and therefore had never experienced having four extremely skinny legs before.

She fell over rather quickly.

"Deerling is confused!" yelled Remus, knowing this much. "Deerling has hurt itself in its confusion!"

"I hate it when that happens," growled Alice.

"No, Stantler, what are you doing?" asked Remus.

The stag was moving even further away from him and towards the doe. He then helped the doe get back up onto her four hooves.

"Deerling has used 'attract'!" Alice exclaimed, "Stantler has fallen in love! Stantler will not hurt Deeling!"

"Do Deerlings even know that move?" asked Remus, racking his brain for information.

"No idea. If not, they do now," said Alice.

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can, because I bred this one myself at the day care center. It's half… Magikarp."

"But that would make it even less likely to hurt me," said Remus. "What's it gonna do, splash on me?"

"Hey, watch it," said Alice sternly, "Before you know it that half Magikarp could turn into half a Gyarados and _then_ you'll be in trouble!"

"What is going on?" came a screech. Professor McGongall was back in the Great Hall. She waved her wand and turned the four 'Pokémon' back into human beings, leaving them crouching on the ground in different positions and looking very worried.

"Oh, hey professor McGonagall," said James, rubbing the back of his neck and standing up. "Fancy seeing you here!"

Remus simply got down off the table quickly and quietly, hanging his head in shame and trying not to look at Sirius seeing as the Pokémon dare was over.

Lily did the same, just without the obsessive I-must-not-look-at-Sirius part.

"This is outrageous," said Slughorn, stomping through the doors and practically dragging Frank by the ear behind him. "Minerva, you need to keep a handle on your students!"

"I agree," said Professor Sprout, walking in as well with a tight grip on Hestia's left arm. McGonagall's nostrils flared.

"Every single seventh year Gryffindor," she said in a dangerous voice, "Follow me this instant."

There were no complaints. To be completely honest, they all feared for their lives.

* * *

><p><em>Uh, guys, I say all dares are off for the duration of this talk. –L<em>

_Agreed. –J_

_Agreed. –R_

_Agreed. –H  
><em>

_Agreed. –F_

_Agreed. –A_

_Agreed. And Remus, that means you can stop staring at the ceiling. I swear, if you walk into me _one more time_ I am telling Padfoot the location of your chocolate stash. –P_

_That won't be necessary. –R_

* * *

><p>McGonagall can be scary.<p>

Very scary.

Muggles shouldn't have to bother with horror films if they want a good scare. They should simply take a photo of an angry McGongall and make posters out of it.

But then, maybe the Muggles realised that if they did that they would all be scared for the rest of their lives.

But at least Muggles don't have to live with McGonagall for the better part of seven years. Well, not _live_ with, but being in the same castle and being taught by her.

For the better part of _seven years_.

She's a great teacher and she's wonderful, of that there is no argument (except possibly among the Slytherins.)

But she can be really, _really_ scary.

And the look she was giving the seventh year Gryffindors at that particular moment was definitely her best look yet.

Or worst, depending on how you look at it.

Remus was definitely going for worst.

Sirius, on the other hand, knew different. He had seen McGonagall look scarier than this, back when he had risked Snape's life, and really he had been risking Remus' life at the same time. Remus hadn't yet recovered so he didn't see the worst of it, and she hadn't been angry him anyway. Nor had she been angry at James. Peter had been asleep for the whole incident, and the girls and Frank had never been in this much trouble.

So Sirius knew it could be worse, although apparently not by much. Maybe she was increasing the scariness of her glare by a factor of ten, seeing as there were ten of them currently cowering under it?

Or maybe she had just never been this angry before.

Lily was horrified. She had known the entire time that they were breaking the rules by playing the game. It had hit her hard that morning in Transfiguration, but it was even worse now, sitting under McGonagall's gaze. Teachers had this annoying thing of sitting there and staring at you until you were so uncomfortable you would admit to anything just to make the staring stop. It was also something she had seen on all those cop shows on the TV back home.

Mary McDonald and Marlene McKinnon, however, were feeling a little bit confused and more than a bit annoyed. They had nothing to do with what was going on, so why should they be there? Although, that did no stop them from also cowering under The Glare.

"I am very disappointed in the lot of you," said McGonagall in the quiet, sharp tone she normally reserved for when the Marauders had blown up a corridor or covered Alby's walls in pictures of large black dogs (Sirius loved posing for photographs and honestly, is there any better way to display that level of talent?) "I do not know what this past week has been about, but it has not been clever, it has not been amusing, and it has not been smart. Yes, Mr Black, I know exactly what the lot of you have been doing. Every little thing that you are about to claim you did not do due to lack of proof, I know it was the group of you. You are up to something."

She paused for a moment, letting the students stew in their guilt and uncomfortableness. Even James and Sirius who had been in this position more times than you could probably count on the fingers of everyone in Gryffindor were feeling worried.

"Yes, I know you are all doing something. But I also know that you will not stop. So I will only ask you to tone it down. So no more animal fights on staff tables. No more putting the sorting hat on the ceiling. Also, I will warn you that every single little thing you do is being noted, and that you will suffer the consequences of this during the Christmas holidays, which I assume you will all be staying back for?"

Staying over the Christmas holidays was not compulsory and McGonagall couldn't exactly make it so without Dumbledore's permission, and she didn't really want to involve him because she was sure he already knew. The fact that he had done nothing meant that he clearly expected her to deal with it.

But her intent was clear, and they all responded with a '_yes, professor._' Even Mary and Marlene, who, due to the force of McGonagall's speech, had completely forgotten they were not supposed to be there.

"Then you all understand." Then her posture relaxed slightly, she became slightly less scary, and she held out a tin. "Would any of you like a biscuit?"

Lily very nearly fainted.

"Professor," said Sirius, recovering first due to experience, "Does this mean I don't have to go to my detention tonight, since I will be suffering consequences over Christmas?"

"No, it does not," said McGonagall sternly. "In fact, I believe you have a double detention tonight because you didn't go to your detention yesterday."

"I had a detention yesterday?" asked Sirius. Then he turned to his mates. "Why didn't any of you guys remind me?"

"It should not be their job to remind you, Black," she said. "It is your own responsibility. Merlin help us, you are an adult now and in less than a year you will be unleashed upon the real world to fend for yourself. You need to learn some independence."

"That's all well and good, professor," said Sirius, smirking, "But if it's all the same to you us Marauders are going to look out for each other whether we're in school or not."

McGonagall waited until she had dismissed them before smiling fondly. Even though they had to give her more trouble than almost every other student she had ever taught put together, those four boys were some of the best friends she had ever seen. She did have a bit of a soft spot for them.

But she wasn't going to let them know that. Merlin knows it would get to their heads.

Besides, she had a reputation to uphold.

* * *

><p>"Do you have any idea what that was about?" Mary asked Marlene as they trailed out behind the others.<p>

"Obviously that lot are up to something," said Marlene, rolling her eyes. "I mean, it's as obvious as day that they're playing truth or dare. And all that stuff that's been going on, like the ice, McGonagall on the chandelier and Fang going missing? That must have all been them too."

"How are you so smart?"

"Like I said, it's obvious. Plus, I overheard some Ravenclaws talking."

"I can not believe they got us in trouble as well."

"McGonagall can't have expected us to go into her office today, that must have been a mistake."

"She did say 'every Gryffindor seventh year.' I just wanted to be sure."

"Yeah, I know. But seeing as we are the only two Gryffindor seventh years not involved, it was probably her way of just making sure Black and Potter did not find a loophole and avoid her."

"True."

"Its still unfair though."

"Of course."

"You know what we should do?"

Mary glanced at her best friend, worried. Marlene had this glint in her eye – a glint she had not seen since Marlene found out that her younger brother was reading her mail.

"I don't think I'm going to like this," was her reply.

"Aww, come on, Mary! It'll be fun, we'll go down in history-"

"You're talking about pranking the Marauders while they're on the biggest prank run they've been since… ever. Honestly, it has _never_ been this bad, and that's saying something. Do you remember what happened after we finished the OWLs? I still jump every time I see a frog."

"Don't tell me you're afraid?"

"My usual response would be 'never'. But to this…. I have to say _'duh._'"

"Well, come on then!"

"Wait, I never said-"

"You have to be brave, Mary! You can't be brave if you aren't afraid, that just makes you fearless. Fearless people don't live long, because fear keeps you on your toes. Brave people, on the other hand…"

"Oh, all right!" Mary exclaimed. "But did you not just see the way McGonagall treated the others-"

"McGonagall will love us for this, just so long as we only target them and not the school, anything or anyone else. We'll be fine."

"You'd best be right about that," cautioned Mary. "Your brother does still owe me about three favors. I could very easily cash them in and then where would you be?"

"Probably in Australia due to an 'accidental' Floo powder malfunction," muttered Marlene.

* * *

><p>"We're safe!" cried James as they climbed the stairs. "By Merlin, I thought that was going to be my last trip to McGonagall's office."<p>

"Don't be so dramatic," said Lily.

"Pot, meet kettle," muttered Hestia.

"Not to be pedantic, but where are we going?" asked Frank.

"Library?" suggested Alice. "I don't know about you guys but I have a stack of stuff that needs doing."

"Agreed," said Hestia.

"Alright then," said Lily, pointing a finger forward and starting to march. "Allons-y!"

"What?" asked Peter.

"That's French for 'let's go'," said Remus.

"Why say it?" asked Peter.

"Oh my God," said Lily, exchanging a horrified glance with Alice. "I have to get you guys to watch Doctor Who. This evening. Common Room. No exceptions."

It looked like there were going to be some protests, but Sirius interrupted by waving his arms around and jumping about madly, annoyed he was being ignored. That was when the group noticed their warm watches and looked back to the parchment.

_Thank you, thank you –takes a bow- I know, you all love me, shower me with adoration –S_

"But… you didn't do anything other than try to get out of detention," said Peter, tilting his head in confusion.

_Are you kidding me? If I wasn't there you would have all been dead. She let us off because she loves me so much. –S_

"Delusional," sighed Hestia.

"So now we're zombie^4 zombies, right?" asked Frank.

"Please don't," said Alice. "I don't need that kind of stress in my life!"

"Right," said James, nodding seriously. "Wouldn't want to loose the baby."

"Why you-" gasped Alice.

"It's alright, sweetie," said Hestia, giving her a hug, "You and Lily can be pregnant buddies and go through all the hardships and morning sickness together."

"Merlin, I forgot about that," groaned Lily.

_-gasp- Lily! How could you forget about Padfoot junior? –S_

"How, exactly, is it Padfoot junior?" asked Frank. "I mean, I can understand it being Wormtail junior seeing as Peter is the father and I understand Prongs junior because James is the stepfather-"

"We aren't married yet!" exclaimed Lily.

"Yet?" asked James, causing Lily to turn bright red.

"I, well… you see, Oh, shut up, you know what I mean!"

"I still don't get it though," said Frank, trying to bring their attention back to his problem.

_Simple. I am going to the Godfather and Lily is going to name it after me. But I will be older and therefore it will be Padfoot Jr. –S_

"Who says you're Godfather?" asked Lily.

_Prongs. –S_

"But I'm the father, so shouldn't it be my say?" asked Peter.

_You're the _father_, yes, but I have a feeling Prongs is going to be the daddy which means he has more say. –S_

"Not legally," said Hestia. "Wizarding law states that unless the father is a danger-"

_Whose side are you on, woman? –S_

"Which ever one you're not."

"Since I'm the mother can't I pick the Godparents?" asked Lily. "You know, seeing as the identity of the father seems to be in such dispute."

Sirius gasped and frantically began writing.

_The identity of the father is in dispute? You don't know for sure who the father is? Lily, you little harlot! This is even worse than we thought! But hey Prongs, not all hope is lost – it might still be yours! –S_

"Oh for the love of…" spluttered Lily, "Bloody hell, Sirius!"

The others were too busy laughing to defend her.

"Hey Lily," laughed Hestia, "At least this means you get to pick the Godparents, right?"

"Fine," said Lily, "I pick Remus, because he is the only one not laughing at me."

_WHAT? –S_

"Oh, I knew you loved me, Lily," said Remus.

"I know," she sighed, "I have no idea why I'm dating James."

"Oi!"

"Lily," whined Peter, "I thought you said you loved _me!_"

"This is starting to get tense," said Frank, laughing. "What is this, a love… pentagon?"

"What about god_mother_?" asked Alice, attempting to break up the oncoming argument.

"Oh, that'd be Professor McGonagall of course," said Lily, fiddling with her goblet. "She'd make sure that I don't end up with a mini-Marauder.

"Of course," said Hestia, rolling her eyes as the boys (minus Frank) gasped in betrayal.

"Look, this is all redundant anyway," said James, throwing us arms up, "Because when Lily _really_ does have a kid it's going to be _mine_."

"Oh it is, is it?" asked Lily, raising an eyebrow. "Who says I'll still be with you at that point? I am still seriously considering Remus…"

"Oh for the love of Merlin," groaned James, putting his face into his hands.

"Lily, weren't you saying only the other day that the only reason you went out with James was in attempt to make him take his head duties seriously?" asked Hestia.

"Oh, I remember that!" exclaimed Alice. "And it is true that you've been saying ever since first year that the only Marauder worth spending time with was Remus."

_Lily, you've wounded me! –S_

"That was a bit harsh," groaned Peter, "I mean, I thought we had a connection, Lily!"

_Why does Remus get all the attention? It's always Remus this, Remus that, Remus is SO great, why does everyone care about bloody Remus? –S_

"Someone's jealous," teased Frank, grinning.

_I could never be jealous of that whining, mean, ignorant, hurtful— -_S

"Okay, that's enough," said Hestia, grabbing Sirius' hand to stop him from writing.

"I do think he has a point though," said James. "Why Remus? What has he got that we don't?"

Sirius gestured at James in an attempt to say '_yes, exactly._'

"Maturity?" asked Lily.

"That was a low blow," said James. "We can be mature!"

_Oh, I've changed my mind! I have decided that you can have a kid with Prongs and you don't have to call it Padfoot Junior. Because, think about it – Prongs is a stag, right, and Lily's animal is a doe. Also, James is really rich, right, and he's got this massive house, which is practically a castle… _

"I think I know where this is going," groaned Hestia.

…_so you should totally call your kid Bambi! –S_

"Padfoot," groaned James as Lily looked at him smugly.

"You just want a repetition of when you danced through the halls singing 'the prince is here' like you did when Peter Phillips was born," sighed Hestia.

"Which was ridiculous because he's not even a prince," huffed Lily.

"That was fun," admitted James, ignoring Lily. "And the funniest thing was we couldn't be told off for it."

"Even though he's not a prince," Lily continued. Honestly, she didn't know why they cared about the Muggle monarchy so much, but since they did they should at least know the basics.

"Except for the fact that you just made all the teachers extremely irritated and they picked _everyone_ out on the tiniest of things," added Frank nonchalantly, also ignoring Lily. "That was the first time I lost more than ten points in one go."

"Well, you've definitely beaten that record now, mate," said James, clapping him on the shoulder.

"I don't even get why the wizarding world cares about Muggle monarchs," said Lily loudly, "I mean, I listened in History of Magic about how the tradition goes back to when Arthur was King over Camelot and he joined Muggles and magical people together under one banner or whatever and so the wizarding Britain claims the monarch as sort of an 'honorary' leader, but-"

"Did you know the Muggle Prime Minister knows about the magical world?" asked Remus. Lily shook her head, eyes wide. "Yeah, the Minister for Magic has to inform him about certain things, like large wizarding events, such as when Britain hosts the Quidditch World Cup, or if they want to import large magical creatures."

"I bet they all have a right scare when they find out," she said, laughing.

"I heard that the Minister goes in by floo," said Peter. "I would imagine that would be even _worse_."

"Oh yes," chuckled Remus, "I was scared the first time I saw someone flooing into the house and _I'm _a half blood!"

_Can we get off this conversation? –S_

"You're just annoyed because you can't contribute," said Alice. Sirius shrugged in response.

_Just saying – writing – oh, never mind, just pointing out that we have been out of McGonagall's office for a while now… -S_

"Yeah, and we have a free now," said James, grinning. "Lets have some fun - er, even if we are going to the library."

_Sirius, T or D? –L_

_D. –S_

_Hmm… would you rather act like Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw for an hour? You can make it as over exaggerated as you want. –L_

_Lily, I love you. –S_

_Um, mood swing much? I thought we were the pregnant ones. –A_

_Shut up. And I say… Ravenclaw. –S_

_Awesome. This is going to be hilarious. –F_

_Even more so, I have a feeling I know what he's going to do next. –P_

_Yes, and in that case, Sirius you are released from the no speaking dare for the duration of this dare.-J_

_I glad you like my sense of humor so much, Pete. Prongs, thank you very much. Also, T or D? –S_

_Yep, I was right. –P_

_Congrats. And D. –J_

_I dare you to act like a Hufflepuff for an hour. You can make it as over exaggerated as you want. –S_

_Awesome. –J_

_Okay, now I'm worried. –F  
><em>

_Alice, T or D? –J_

_T. –A_

_YES! –J_

_What? –A_

_Tell us the entire story about you and Snape with the knife… please. –J_

_Did I just read that right? –L_

_Lily, he is being a Hufflepuff. –S_

_Oh yeah. –L_

_Anyway Alice, story time! I think we've all been waiting for this. –S_

_I haven't. –A_

_Shame on you. Knowledge is the key to a long and happy life. –S_

_Never thought I'd hear him say that. –H_

_Technically you didn't. –S_

_That whole 'no you actually wrote it' thing is getting old now. –H_

_But it is more correct to say that I wrote it, because the fact of the matter is I did not say it. –S_

_Weird. –H_

_Agreed. –L_

_Alice, you lovely person, would you mind so terribly starting your story now? –J_

_That is even weirder. –H  
><em>

_Fine then, but you ain't going to like it. –A  
><em>

_*aren't –S_

_What? –A_

_You _aren't_ going to like it. –S_

_Shut up. –A_

_Don't worry about my feelings, you sweet, sweet girl. Just let it out. I'm here for you. –J_

_Fine. Well, you remember that day in fifth year, after the Defence OWL? –A  
><em>

_Wow Prongs, you're looking a little pale. Are you feeling okay? –R_

_He is probably feeling rather depressed due to his guilt complex, because he believes that Lily would be a much happier person had he not attacked Severus Snape in cold blood. –S_

_I told you not to worry about me. I will be perfectly fine, because I am such a happy person no body could ever possibly make me sad! So please, continue. –J_

_Anyway, after well, you know, Lily was real upset and hid in the dorms. –A_

_ALICE! –L_

_Lily, I have to tell the truth. You know I do not want to do this… I tried to put it off for a long as I could. –A_

_You know that's true. –H_

_-sniffle- Alice, you are such a good friend! It makes me so happy to see such loyalty and love and happiness! IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL! –J_

… _anyone up for a visit to the hospital wing? –R_

_I am always happy to help a friend in need. If someone needs me to aid them in the getting to the hospital wing, I will join them and help them in any way possible. At all. –J_

_That was so grammatically incorrect that it actually HURTS. –S_

_No one cares, Sirius. –P_

_How dare you say that to a friend? What if you hurt his feelings? –J_

_How dare you say that it doesn't matter? Grammar is the foundation of our society; without it we would be nothing. EVERYBODY BOW DOWN TO THE GRAMMAR GODS! –S_

_Okay, I have changed my mind. Alice, anything to get them to stop… -L_

_Alice, you must help your friend in need. –J_

_Please. –J_

_I did not mean to sound rude in any way. –J_

_Right. Well, anyway… So Lily was hiding in our dorm, and she'd put a locking spell on her curtains (which is bloody brilliant in my opinion, how the hell are you supposed to lock curtains?) But we couldn't get in. Eventually, after much persuasion, threats to her textbooks and a large bar of chocolate donated by Remus, we were granted access. –A_

_I remember that! –R_

_So do I, you were whining about your low supply of chocolate for a week afterwards. –P_

_Wormtail… -J_

_Okay, okay – Remus, I humbly apologise for any insult my past words may have caused you. –P_

_Moony… -J_

_I accept your apology. Gracefully. –R  
><em>

_I am so proud of you both. LETS ALL HUG! –J_

_Alice… -H_

_Well, I'm not going to give away too many details—_

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN AMAZING FRIEND. YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON, LET ME LOVE YOU!"

"SHUT UP, PRONGS!"

"Well, that wasn't very nice, Moony."

—_but lets just say Lily was _very_ upset. Hestia offered to go and castrate James, and I said I would help. –A_

_I am seriously considering it again. –H_

_You should say 'once again.' –S_

Alice thought she'd better write quickly before Sirius found something new to worship. Like punctuation gods or the magical rainbow dragon of literature.

What a nightmare.

_But Lily said that we weren't do to that because despite the fact that James was a –(I am not going to repeat this quote because I have a feeling that James and Sirius will murder me due to their current personas)– and that she appreciated the sentiment, it was not a good idea as we would likely be expelled. –A  
><em>

_Such a shame. But oh well, it made her laugh. Nearly. –H_

_Alice, you have to tell me that name. –S_

_But…. –A_

_KNOWLEDGE IS IMPORTANT! –S_

Sighing, Alice leaned over and whispered something into Sirius' ear for about… ten seconds. Sirius' eyes widened.

_Why Lily, I never knew you were so creative… or witty. Tell me – what has no beginning, end or middle? –S_

_Seriously? –L_

_I have never been more serious. –S_

_Knowing you it will have something to do with food… but seeing as you are attempting to be a Ravenclaw I'm guessing you're trying to be smart. Normally all food has an end when you finish it, and you'll be expecting me to think you'll think that way. So you'll go the other way. And being smarter than Vizzini, I am going to stop there and say that the answer is a doughnut. –L_

_Damn, you are good. What starts with e, ends with e, but only contains one letter? –S_

_You know, that riddle is inaccurate. There can be more than one letter in an envelope. –L_

_Oh, fine. What is lighter than a feather but unable to be held by even the strongest man for much more than a minute? (Without magical help, of course.) –S_

_Lily, you do realise he's just repeating questions the Ravenclaw knocker gave us so he can sneak into their common room? –R  
><em>

_That wasn't very honourable. Neither is sneaking into other houses' common rooms. –J_

_Hey, I _am_ a Ravenclaw. –S_

_I thought we were supposed to be listening to Alice? –F  
><em>

_Good point, Frank. And Sirius – a breath. –L_

_Damn. –S_

_Okay, so anyway, after that everything quieted down a bit. Then a couple of hours later Mary came in ad said Snape was moping about by the common room entrance, threatening to sleep there and irritating the Fat Lady. Lily didn't want to go out but we were all supportive and stuff—_

(Here James sniffled again, but thankfully refrained from crying out loudly as they were still in the corridors and had already received several odd looks.)

—_and eventually she realised that Snape would never leave if she didn't go out so she did. When she came back she was even worse than before. And I mean, we had just managed to get her calmed down – yes James, I know how inconsiderate he is – and then he goes and makes her cry and scream and weep and throw things at the wall. –A_

_Hey, I wasn't that bad! –L_

…_-H_

_Whatever. –L_

_So anyway, eventually Lily went back to sleep but by now we had figured out that it wasn't James she was angry at, not really, it was Snape. So we recruited Mary and Marlene (who were only too happy to help, as they had seen the mess Lily was in and they are our friends, we're just not as close) and then we headed down to the Slytherin common room. You remember that we had to make Polyjuice potion in Potions a few weeks before the OWLs? –A_

_Yeah, Prongs and I snuck some out, because we thought it'd be useful and we're smart like that. But it disappeared a little while… oh. –S_

_Yeah, 'oh.' So Mary took some and pretended to be one of the Slytherin second years. Then she told Snape that Lily wanted to talk to him and that she was waiting in one of the empty classrooms on the fifth floor. Snape went there straight away and walked straight into Hest's and my hands. Marlene stayed outside to guard the door and Mary went and hid in a bathroom until the effects wore off, but I do believe she was 'caught' by two professors, one prefect and Filch in the meantime. –A_

_Smart girl. Might have to talk to her sometime. –S_

_Oh no you won't. –H_

_That wasn't so smart. It was also disloyal. –J_

_Needless to say Snape was a little confused. Then he was angry. So we told him that we need to talk to him but he pulled his wand on us. I have never seen anyone fire a disarming spell quicker than Hest did that night. –A_

_Why thank you. –H_

_Well, as you can well imagine he got _really_ angry after that, and started yelling. I shot a toned down silencing spell at him, so that he could only whisper. –A_

_Personally I thought that was a genius move. –H_

_So he still wasn't cooperating and refused to listen. He continued to speak over us, demanded that we lower our wands and hand his back to him. He started to walk towards us, probably thinking we wouldn't harm him, and that's when I fired the stinging hex at his hand. –A_

_And I got him with a boil jinx in a rather unfortunate place. –H_

_Ouch. –F_

_I tend to agree with Frank in this instance. –S_

_You could just say 'hear, hear,' you know. –P_

_Or god forbid anyone ever says 'ditto'. –R_

_That is uneducated and crass. The Spirit of the English Language would murder you in your bed. –S_

_Dear Lord… -L_

_I thought that your idea of a Ravenclaw would only believe something if it was written down in a book? –F_

_Maybe he wrote it in a book himself? –H_

_Who would write in a book? That is sacrilege! BLASPHEMY! –S_

_There is more than one type of person… -J_

_Guys, Alice's story just got interesting! Don't interrupt now! –P_

_Wormtail is right. Every story deserves to be told, as they give many people more knowledge. –S_

_Moving on… So eventually I lost patience, and pulled out my silver knife. –A_

_Ugh, silver. –R_

_Why did you have a silver knife? –F_

_Everyone has one, we use them in potions. –A_

_But you just _happened_ to have yours in your pocket? –R_

_We were attacking a Slytherin. I didn't want to be unprepared. –A_

_A woman after my own heart. –S_

_You really are treading on thin ice right now. –H_

_No, that was this morning. –S_

_It was a METAPHOR. –H_

_I know. Because I'm smart like that. –S_

_So before Snape could do anything I had him up against the wall. –A_

_Kinky. –S_

_SIRIUS! –A_

_She means she had her knife to his neck and he was backed against the wall. –H_

_That didn't seem very Ravenclaw like to me. –P_

_Just because Ravenclaws are nerds doesn't mean that they can't~~~~~~~~ -S_

Luckily, Hestia won the battle for Sirius' parchment, but, unfortunately, Sirius was still able to use his voice.

"Nerds have to reproduce somehow, you know! Think about _that_!"

_So I had my knife on Snape's neck and all of a sudden he was very civil, wasn't he, Hest. –A_

_Oh yes, very civil indeed. –H_

_Well, that's only polite. –J_

_And then he went quiet, and I told him very calmly exactly what I thought of him, and what I would be doing with my knife if he ever caused Lily to shed one more tear ever again. –A_

_Most awesome thing I have ever seen. –H_

"You know, I find this unfair," said Sirius, who was looking over James' shoulder (because James, being the very good friend that we was, wouldn't allow Sirius to be left out.) "You tell me off every time I so much as say a girl is looking nicer than usual, and yet here you are blatantly flirting!"

"You think I'm flirting with Alice?" asked Hestia disbelievingly, raising her eyebrows.

"Just look at the facts," said Sirius. "You are saying that she is 'awesome'. 'Amazing'. 'Genius'. You keep looking at her adoringly."

"She's one of my best friends!"

"And yet," continued Sirius, "I saw you wink at her earlier. You sleep in the same room-"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"And you always giggle when she talks to you."

"Well that's just-"

"_So_, with the compilation of all the facts and looking at it from an objective point of view, you are flirting with her. In this situation the fact that she is both your friend and the same gender is relevant, as friends and those of the same gender are at perfect liberty to flirt with one another – I am not judging, I am completely okay with everything."

"Well, we all know that," muttered Frank, earning himself a glare.

"Why don't we get back to the story?" asked Lily. She had only heard the bare details herself, and was a little bit anxious to hear the rest.

_That's it, really. I threatened him within an inch of his life, and then we ran away and hoped to Merlin he wouldn't do the Slytherin thing and alert a teacher. –A_

_That's just sloppy. We wouldn't do that. –P_

_No, you missed a bit, Ali. –H_

"Now she's giving her a nickname!"

Sirius was ignored. With difficulty.

_Oh. Right. –A_

_What? –L_

_Well, at one point Snape thought he'd be clever and try to escape. –A_

_Did you just use the word 'Snape' and 'clever' in the same sentence? –J_

_That's not very Hufflepuffish –R_

_We hate Slytherins too. And can you people _please_ stop pointing out when we do something that isn't very 'our house'-ish? I mean, how would you know? You aren't a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw. –J_

_Prongs has a point. –P_

_Yeah, several of them in fact. On his antlers. –S_

_HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR PARCHMENT BACK? –H_

_Love, I'm a Marauder, not to mention a genius Ravenclaw. It's like the ultimate combination. A little pickpocketing is nothing. –S  
><em>

_That was in my BACK POCKET. –H_

_But you didn't feel it, did you? –S_

_Urgh, I hate you. –H_

_Being a Ravenclaw, I am smart enough to deduce that you don't mean that. –S_

_Oh man, I thought we were over the whole 'deduce' thing since Alice's dare was over. –P_

_We are allowed to live in hope. –F_

_I wish we had a little more than just hope. –P_

_Don't we all? (See guys, that was very wise.) –S_

_Sure. But I want to hear the story. –L_

_Of course you do, my love. Alice, finish the story before Lily becomes indisposed due to the birth of her child. –S_

_Hey, I thought Alice was pregnant before Lily, and therefore her child would be born first. –R_

_I was talking about her second child. –S_

_What if I don't have a second child? –L_

_My point still stands. (See, it was a very smart point.) –S_

_Oh, completely genius, Sirius. Why do you, a Ravenclaw, feel the need to point out every time you are smart? –L_

_I have wondered that myself for a very long time. –S_

_I am realising that you guys are very house-ist. –F_

_Very what? –P_

_House-ist. He means like Feminist. –S_

_Oooohhhh. –P_

_You are only just working that out? Personally, I think it is totally unfair. Everyone should be loved equally. Everyone should be loved. _Loved. _I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS! –J_

_I thought you wanted to know about how Snape got that scar on his left shoulder? –H_

_Snape has a scar on his left shoulder? –P_

…

…

…

"_I wouldn't know, I've never really wanted to see him shirtless, bet he's so pale he'd blind a polar bear," said Sirius Black. –H_

_No I didn't. You're incorrect. –S_

_We were all expecting that response from you, though. –F_

_I would never say that. A Ravenclaw knows everything. –S_

…_and apparently, if they ever come across something they don't know they do not acknowledge it's existence. –H_

_Like the Americans with wars. My dad always says that America has never 'lost' a war – apart from the Vietnam War but they claim that doesn't count because they never actually declared war in the first place. –L_

… _-P_

_You're talking about Muggle stuff again, aren't you. –S_

…_Yeah. –L_

_Don't do that, Lily. It isn't cool. –S_

_Says the nerd. –R_

_Ouch. –H_

_To answer Hestia a couple of lines back, 'a Ravenclaw never divulges his secrets'. –S_

_Now you're just rewriting the Marauder Codex. –P_

_That's what smart people do though, right? Rewrite things that have been done before? –S_

_Like Isaac Newton. –L_

_Lily… -S_

_I am not going to stop being who I am just because you tell me to. –L_

_That is a good principle to live by. –J_

_So then Hestia pushed Snape up against the wall, snogged him senseless and declared her love for him. –A_

_Hahahaha. –H_

_Prongs, you're wrong. If that were the case, we would never learn anything in school. We would never make new friends. We would never listen to our family (not that I do anyway, but normal people with normal families.) –S_

_It was at that moment that Snape realised that he truly did love Hestia back, and he got down on one knee, pulled out his great-great-great-great grandmother's diamond wedding ring and romantically (with candlelight and lots of flowers) proposed to her. (Alice had disappeared into the shadows by now, you know, as all unnecessary characters in love stories seem to do.) –A_

_How so? –J_

_Because every time you do something like that, you change, if only in such a tiny miniscule way that might be undetectable, but it does still happen. Essentially, by gaining new knowledge in school we are changing our views on the world (and hence ourselves) because the teacher said so. –S_

_Sirius, I am not arguing with you. You are my friend and an amazing, fantastic, brilliant and _beautiful_ person and I trust you implicitly, and therefore I must accept everything you say as true. I see the best in all people, including you, and therefore I believe that you would not feed me false information. –J_

_Good. –S_

_Hestia was so happy that she kissed Snape so hard her lips were too sore to talk, and she had to make do with a nod. The moment was perfect, and Hestia was so full of love that she kissed him again despite her sore lips. Snape was overjoyed with this reaction, and he told Hestia how amazing and beautiful she was. This made Hestia feel like her stomach was on fire, and the flames licked up her body until they swallowed her whole. But despite the fact that she had described this feeling as flames, it didn't feel like flames at all, because if you really were covered in flames it would be excruciatingly painful, unless of course you made use of a flame-freezing charm. But anyway, Hestia had no idea what this feeling was, because despite being a very hormonal teenager she had never felt the feeling of lust before. But she quickly identified it for what it was and as a result squashed herself even closer to Snape (and somehow they both managed to keep breathing.) Hestia wished she could make her body one with Snape's (although, if she were being honest, the melding of internal organs sounded a little bit icky) and then kissed him _again_ with abandon. (What does that mean? How can you abandon someone while kissing them? Anyway) After a couple of minutes they remembered that they did need to breathe (because oxygen is very easy to forget sometimes, you know, its not like you need it to survive or anything) and Snape removed his lips from hers. While Snape had a little breather, Hestia somehow still managed to hold her breath and she started kissing his very oily and greasy neck, which tasted a so delicious (a bit like KFC) she felt like she could lick him all day. But they didn't have all day, so she took the next best option and bit into his shoulder. She started to drink his blood, desperate to have something of him inside of herself. Now usually this would have caused Snape excruciating pain (because lets not kid ourselves, human teeth are actually quite blunt), but he loved Hestia and for some really odd reason this gave her teeth mystical qualities so that they didn't hurt him. After a couple of minutes (like, half an hour) Hestia unlatched her teeth from her loves' skin and then they fell together happily in their newly wedded bliss, because even though they had only stopped being mortal enemies practically that second they now felt like they were married. –A_

_And that, my friends, is The Epic Love Story of Hestia Jones and Severus Snape (aka How Snape Got That Scar On His Left Shoulder.) –A_

_Wow. Just wow. –H_

_What. The. Hell. Was. That. –R_

_Periods are not supposed to be used in that way. Also there should have been a question mark at the end. –S_

_In other news – Alice, what the hell was that? –S  
><em>

_Alice. You should become a real author. That was awesome. –H_

_Alice is real. She's corporeal, she exists, she's on the same dimension as us… -S_

_Knew I shouldn't have introduced him to Sci-Fi. –R_

_Just seeing if you would ever actually listen to me. –A_

_Guys, guys, listen – the parchment only lets you tell the truth, right? Well… -S_

_OH MY MERLIN SOMETIMES I HATE IT WHEN I'M SMART! –S_

_HESTIA, YOU SNOGGED SNAPE? –S_

_Congrats on the bite, though, that would have awesome. –S_

_Um, it didn't cause him any pain... –P_

_Oh. –S_

_Aha, so you did listen! –A_

_Yes, but can we have the real story now, please, because as interesting as that was… -F_

_Right, right. So what really happened was that Snape tried to escape and jerked suddenly to the side and I cut him. Accidentally. –A_

_And then you ran? –L_

_No, actually. We held him there for a little while longer and talked some more. _Then_ we let him go. He never did tell anyone, either too afraid that his mates would find put that he snuck out to see a Muggleborn or that he got his butt handed to him by a group of girls. One or the other. –A_

_Probably both. –H_

_He has mostly stayed away from us since then, though. –A_

_It was awesome. –H_

_Okay, now that's FINALLY over, Alice, your turn. –P_

_I know, I know. Sirius, T or D? –A_

"Wait," said Lily, pausing as they came to the entrance to the Library. "Lets try and be quiet, okay? I really don't want to get on Madam Pince's bad side."

"Agreed," muttered Remus. Sirius shot him a dirty look, but Remus' eyes were glued to Lily's feet to avoid looking at him so he didn't notice.

It was smooth sailing for a whole two seconds. Then, the moment Sirius stepped into the library he gasped. His eyes widened. His mouth hung open.

"Wow," he whispered, gazing around in wonder. "Books."

"Yeah Sirius, that's what you find in a library," muttered Peter.

Remus yelled out, started crying and ran back out into the corridor, forcing Hestia to go and get him. She shot Peter a dirty look.

"Um, Pads," said James, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "We should sit down."

"Books…" whimpered Sirius. "I love books. They are my soul mate. My true other half. I just…" a tear ran down his face. "When I think about them… my whole body just aches with love and adoration. Can I… can I go to them?"

"Of course you can, my friend," said James, smiling warmly. "Follow your heart."

With that, Sirius wandered off, a awestruck expression on his face as he delicately ran his fingers over the spines of the books.

The rest of them quickly went in and grabbed a table, then sat down and went back to The Game.

_Um, Sirius… -A_

_Fine then. Truth. Make it quick, I want to get back to the books. –S_

_What would you do if you were a Muggle? –A  
><em>

_I am going to answer that intelligently and in a very clever way, and yet it will still be true – I would eat. Now, Hestia, T or D? –S_

_D. –H_

_Lovely. I think some of the teachers a looking a little bit down, don't you? –S_

_I don't like where this is going. –L_

_I do. We should cheer them up, the poor dears. –J_

_What about what McGonagall said? –A_

_You must read between the lines, my dear. Basically she said we can do whatever we want and we won't get punished until the Christmas holidays. –S_

…_She didn't exactly say that. –L_

_Close enough. But Hestia, I dare you to write out a love letter to every single teacher, but no teacher can receive a letter from the same one, if that makes sense. They must say to meet in the same place at the same time. Then a prank of your choosing (but it must be approved of by James) must be played on them. –S_

_Damn. –H_

_Hey, at least they won't know it was you. –A_

_True that. –H_

Hestia, deciding that she might as well start, pulled out a heap of parchment and began to write while the others started on some study.

"Hey guys?" she asked after a couple of minutes. "How do you spell Professor Alby's first name?"

"Oh, I know, I know, I know!" chanted Sirius, running out from behind a shelf, throwing his arm in the air and bouncing up and down on the spot.

"Calm down," hissed Lily, "Madam Pince is just around the corner!"

Lily Evans. Hestia Jones. Alice Prewett. Frank Longbottom. Peter Pettigrew. James Potter. Remus Lupin. Sirius Black.

Remember these names, remember them well, for they will go down in history for being in at least the top ten of Hogwarts students with the rottenest luck (not including incidents related to the war.) For that that moment, on the table just meters from their own, were two third year Ravenclaws who were clearly skipping out on class, because only sixth and seventh years got free periods. But being Ravenclaws, they had only skipped divination so they could catch up on their Transfiguration homework.

"This is ridiculous," one was complaining, "I mean, does she really expect us to be able to write twelve inches in one night?"

"And on vanishing objects, too," moaned the other. "I thought that was supposed to be fifth year stuff!"

"She must be in a really bad mood about something."

"Don't worry!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping to his feet and rushing over. "Allow me to help you! I am super smart you see, and I will know all the answers. Let me tutor you!"

"Actually, I think we're okay," said the first kid, leaning back warily.

"Completely fine," said the other.

"There is no need to hide your difficulty," said James, walking over to them also.

"Uh oh," muttered Lily.

"Let it out!" James exclaimed. "Tell me; how is class?"

One of the Ravenclaws just looked skeptical, but the other sighed and his shoulders seemed to droop.

"It's hard," he said. "I came here expecting to do well in my classes, but there really is so much work-"

"Oh you poor child!" James cried out, sniffling, tears actually starting to run down his cheeks. "I...I know this all has to be so hard. But I want you to know... I'm here for you. You brave little soldier; I acknowledge your pain. Come here, you poor darling." Then to the horror and discomfort of the poor, innocent Ravenclaw, James threw his arms around him and buried his face in his shoulder. "YOU'RE TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD!"

"What is going on here!" yelled Madam Pince, stepping around the corner. "Harassing younger students trying to study? I expected more from the head boy! Now out! All of you! OUT!"

"Nooooooo!" yelled Sirius as he was dragged out of the library by the combined effort of Remus (who struggled due to his closed eyes), Frank and Peter. "You can't take me away from my one true love! No! Not the books! You are making me disgrace my house! I will not leave the library! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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><p><strong>My inspiration for James in this chapter came from one single scene in Supernatural. Surely any Supernatural fans among you recognised it... I couldn't stop myself from putting in that quote. :) <strong>

****I know that ending kind of sucked, but it was getting a bit long. I had to stop somewhere or you guys would never have received a chapter.** And what do you think of Mary and Marlene? They won't become big, I promise. I have one little idea for them. **

**Acknowledgements:**

**~_Looking For Something New_ suggested the love notes, which are being continued**

**~_Green Eyes and Glasses_ suggested the Pokemon battle (I hope I did that justice... oh well, it was fun to write.)**

**~_Stereotypical Angel_ reminded me that I hadn't addressed the Alice/Snape/knife thing yet. This one kind of got away from me, as you can tell. This was the main reason why I didn't get much done in this chapter. :)**

**~_Ava Tonks_ suggested that they act like people from another house for a little while (and I had FUN with that!) and Sirius' question of what he would do as Muggle.**

**~_To The TARDIS_, your dare has been developed. Did you notice? ;)**

**The song at the beginning is a complete massacre of 'Food, Glorious Food' from the musical _Oliver_, and the Pokemon theme song lyrics were in there too. I don't own either of those. The random changes to 'Food, Glorious Food,' however, was the result of a brain resembling spaghetti after a lecture on the French Revolution. Yay. **

**And I think that's it. As I said before, I LOVE YOU ALL. Many dares, ie. Peeves, no talking, no magic, love letters etc etc are still in progress, and we're nearing the end of the Remus/Sirius thing! That ends at dinner!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Oh, <strong><span>ONE MORE THING,<span>** honest. Those of you who have given suggestions but they haven't been written; **YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN**. I have a +5,000 word document purely made of suggestions from you lot (not even the amazing compliments you're giving, _just_ the suggestions) that I have been consulting. I am making my way through it. You are still on there. I cherish every single review and suggestion I have received.**  
><strong>

Remember that. :)


	22. Letters and Doomsday

**I've managed to force my way through yet another barrage of exams and assignments and to celebrate I sat down and wrote for about six hours straight. This is the result. A chapter three times longer than usual. This takes up **_**72 pages **_**on Word, not including ANs. Size 12 font. I am amazed.**

**Thanks for all your marvelous reviews! You guys keep me going.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own Doctor Who (from which there are a few direct quotes), Lion King, Star Trek, nor any other recognizable thing. **

**Time periods are completely messed up here I know this episode of Doctor Who aired in 2006. Oh well, this fic isn't serious - let's just ignore all that.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

THE REST OF THURSDAY: Letters and Doomsday

"This is so demeaning," Sirius whimpered, lying on his back on the corridor floor a couple of halls away from the library.

"You'd have more dignity if you stood on your feet," said Frank, rolling his eyes.

"But I am depressed," Sirius deadpanned, raising his arms and then letting them fall to the ground. "I have been kicked out of the library. I am such a disappointment. I will never ever live this down… it will go on my record forever."

"Sirius Black has left the library," Lily muttered, exchanging an amused glance with Alice. "Sirius Black has _not_ been saved."

Sirius simply moaned in pain.

"You poor child," sobbed James, wrapping his arms around Sirius' now limp body. "You have suffered much."

"You're just going to end up spoiling him you know," said Hestia distractedly as she continued to scribble on her letters, also on the floor. "That'd be doing him a disservice."

"You're right!" James exclaimed, jumping away from his mate. "Come on, Pads! Get up. UP! We are going to move. You'll get no sympathy like that, nor will you get any attention. If we want to be nice sometimes we have to be harsh. So get off your backside and move on with your life!"

_Okay, bored now. And done. Lily, T or D? –H_

_D. –L_

_Hey, seeing as I need to head back up to the Owlery now I think you should come with me. Didn't you receive a letter this morning from your mother about a certain rabbit belonging to Petunia? –H_

_Hestia… -L_

_I dare you to write a letter to Petunia saying that you are terribly sorry about the death of her rabbit, and that 'it' was an accident. –H_

_I'm dead. I am well and truly dead. –L_

_Don't worry Lily, you can stay over my house during the Christmas holidays! –J_

_Um, we're all staying here for the Christmas holidays, remember? –R_

_Oh yeah. Summer then! –J_

_I might hold you to that. –L_

_Good. –J_

_Right then, to the owlery! –H_

_Allons-y! –A_

_Can you guys please stop doing that? –P_

_Oh, you poor soul. We will show you later, and then you will understand.–L_

_It's _life changing. _–A_

* * *

><p>Minerva had had enough. She talked to them several times, and yet still an owl swept down in the middle of the class and got tangled up in her hair, causing several students to laugh at her.<p>

She growled as she ripped open the envelope. If this was another trick…

_Dear Minerva,_

_You may not know this, but I have cared about you for quite a long time. We have been colleagues for a while now and I have not been able to pluck up the courage to tell you this in person, but I have decided that I will throw caution to the wind just this once and see how it goes._

_I just want to say that the way you are able to keep a class in check is astounding and beautiful. I could get many tips from a capable woman like yourself. In comparison, my classes are a shambles. I admire you greatly for that, and for many other things as well. Your fur is sleeker than any I have ever seen. Your eyes shine like stars, and your hair is simply magnificent. Why do you keep it up so much? You are hiding some of your beauty. But of course, you would look beautiful with your hair in any style._

_I hope you will meet me in the large charms classroom (room 467) at 9pm tonight sharp. I'll be waiting for you. _

_Yours,_

_Jeremy Buckleberry._

Well... perhaps she could check it out. Just in case. The Marauders and their friends might be there, and she could catch them red-handed.

At least, that's what she told herself.

=o=

Meanwhile, in his hut, Hagrid the Gamekeeper was holding a similar letter.

_Dear Rubeus,_

_You may not know this, but I have cared about you for quite a long time. We have been colleagues for a while now and I have not been able to pluck up the courage to tell you this in person, but I have decided that I will throw caution to the wind just this once and see how it goes._

_I think your size is endearing, not intimating like many others do. Your beard may make you look wild, yes, but I find it quite attractive. You also have many more skills than most men, and you know how to live without excessive magic. I like that. _

_I hope you will meet me in the large charms classroom (room 467) at 9pm tonight sharp. I'll be waiting for you. Please don't be shy._

_Oh, and bring Fang with you. He's such an amazing dog. _

_Yours,_

_Pomona Sprout._

Hagrid was bright red by the time he had finished, and was quickly searching through his drawers for a comb and Fang's best collar.

=o=

Dumbledore stared at the envelope in his hands suspiciously. Was it cursed? Nope, he checked. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it… but he hadn't been expecting anything, and these were dangerous times.

But then, the handwriting on the front looked a bit like...

_Dear Albus,_

_You may not know this, but I have cared about you for quite a long time. We have been colleagues for a while now and I have not been able to pluck up the courage to tell you this in person, but I have decided that I will throw caution to the wind just this once and see how it goes._

_The way your beard shines. The twinkle in your eyes. The love you have for every single student that passes through this school. Your intelligence and wit. These are only a few of the tings that I love about you. _

_I hope you will meet me in the large charms classroom (room 467) at 9pm tonight sharp. I'll be waiting for you. _

_Yours,_

_Filius Flitwick._

That hadn't been exactly what he had been expecting when he recognized Filius' handwriting. Filius had never given any indication… But then, since Gelert, Albus had never really been watching for it, had he?

Well, he might just have to go and let Filius down as softly as he could. Besides, this sort of thing should not be allowed to happen in a workplace, especially not a school. Albus was a great supporter of love but a relationship between colleagues, and teachers at that… that was just not appropriate. At least, not unless they were very discreet.

But his point still stood.

=o=

Filch hated owls. They upset Mrs Norris and no one ever sent him letters anyway, so whenever he saw one he shooed it away.

But this one wouldn't leave.

"Go on!" he yelled. "Scat!"

That was when he noticed that it was, in fact, carrying a letter.

It was difficult to get the damn thing off the bird's foot, because after all the attempted shooing it didn't like him much. But a couple of bites and pulled out feathers later, he had it in his hand and the bird was racing down the hall. It had better not make a mess, because who would have to clean it up?

Yeah. Him.

He held the letter in his hand reverently. He never got any letters, none at all. The only creature in the world that cared for him was Mrs Norris. All the students hated him, the teachers barely tolerated him, and he was only Dumbledore's charity case. The poor old squib with no way of making a livelihood.

This letter had to be a sign right? That someone cared?

No, not necessarily. It could be hate mail. A prank. Dungbombs. A trick from Peeves. Filch almost threw down the letter in anger, but then he realized he'd be the one cleaning it up and instead decided he might as well open it.

How could his life get any worse?

_Dear Argus,_

_You may not know this, but I have cared about you for quite a long time. We have been colleagues for a while now and I have not been able to pluck up the courage to tell you this in person, but I have decided that I will throw caution to the wind just this once and see how it goes._

_I always feel so sorry when I see you wiping those floors. I know that you do not want pity, but I also know you deserve the truth. I often wish that I could make your job easier, but because I know you don't want pity or sympathy I can't. The children make your life something awful. Maybe I can help brighten it up?_

_You are very special man on the inside – just because you have no magic does not mean that isn't true. You have a strong personality and commanding presence, something that just cannot be ignored. I wish to see more of you. _

_I hope you will meet me in the large charms classroom (room 467) at 9pm tonight sharp. I'll be waiting for you. _

_And please do bring Mrs Norris. She is such a beautiful creature, and I would love to get to know her better._

_Yours,_

_Poppy Pomfrey_

Filch actually read the whole thing through three times to make sure it was real. Once he was certain it was, he sank down on the ground, amazed that somebody cared enough to send him something like this.

=o=

Horace Slughorn was still a little bit annoyed about that morning's fiasco, so when an owl flew in, depositing a letter and a considerable amount of faeces on a fifth year moonstone essay, he was not any more pleased.

Then he opened the damn thing.

And his day. Got. Worse.

Written on the parchment in a messy hand was this;

_Dear Horace,_

_You may not know this, but I have cared about you for quite a long time. We have been colleagues (of a sort) for a while now and I have not been able to pluck up the courage to tell you this in person, but I have decided that I will throw caution to the wind just this once and see how it goes._

_I love the way your mustache hangs in the wind, and the way your belly sways when you walk. Your cheeks, red from drinking, look like lovely poppies to me, and your eyes sparkle with a shine that all mean Slytherins possess. It is interesting._

_I hope you will meet me in the large charms classroom (room 467) at 9pm tonight sharp. I'll be waiting for you. _

_Yours,_

_Rubeus Hagrid._

This was not good.

Not good at all.

Slughorn groaned and reached inside his desk for a shot of firewhisky, completely ignoring the school's policy on alcohol during the day. Hagrid cared for him? He deserved a drink.

Hmm, perhaps he should go tonight, because if Hagrid knew him he'd know that they way to his heart would be with a drink, so maybe he'd get some free booze before he said anything too harsh to the poor man…

=o=

Many miles away on a street in Surrey, just outside a small café, Petunia Evans was holding a sheet of paper, screeching in horror. The thing had simply appeared in front of her while she was chatting with her friends at lunch – thank heavens none of them noticed – and she had quickly grabbed it and rushed outside, not even bothering with her coat.

The note was short and simple, but it most definitely was not sweet.

_Dear Petunia, _

_I sincerely apologize about Mr. Flufflykins. It really was an accident._

_Your loving sister,_

_Lily_

Petunia was shaking in anger. She had loved and cared for that rabbit for almost seven years. He was her present from her parents after Lily had gone to _that school_. At first she hadn't wanted it, claimed she didn't need a substitute for that _freak_ of a sister, but she had a bit of thing for strays. She loved looking after them, and her mother had said that they'd picked up 'Bugsy,' as he'd been called then, from an animal shelter. (Petunia simply _had_ to rename him, though. What sort of a name is '_Bugsy_' for a rabbit? She had a bit of a knack for naming things, actually, she was really good at it. So she thought up a much more suitable name for the poor thing.)

But Mr. Fluffykins had died a few days earlier. She was still upset about it. Her mother had said that it was old age, but Petunia hadn't been sure. Now she knew.

It was Lily.

Yeah okay, so Lily was all the way up in Scotland or something. That didn't matter. Petunia knew how magic worked – just the fact that this letter had appeared in front of her was proof that it could operate just fine over long distances.

Well.

It was clear that Lily no longer held any love for her.

If she were being honest, Petunia would have realised that she was feeling sad. When she was younger, she had pushed her sister away due to jealousy and now she had lost her completely. Maybe if they had remained friends…

There was no point brooding on that now, though, and she didn't. The Lily she used to know longer existed.

And the Lily that was around now… well, she wasn't welcome.

* * *

><p><em>~Back in the Gryffindor Common Room…~<em>

_Alice, truth or dare? –L_

_Dare. I just had a – Hey! I just had a massive truth not that long ago! –A_

_Don't care. I dare you to go back to the library and pick up as many books as you can. Then, when this class is over and everyone is out, you need to sit in a busy corridor and throw those books at people until you have run out. Then just get up and walk away. –L_

_You want me to injure books? –A_

_I'm not in a brilliant mood. –L_

_Want me to cheer you up? –J_

_If you want. –L_

_Okay. –J_

James jumped up from his seat and started dancing around the room.

"The sun is shining, the skies are blue!" he sang.

"Okay, that's enough," said Peter, taking hold of James' arm and pulling him back to the couch. "Calm down."

"Oh, but I can't until Lily is happy," said James, a wide grin on his face. "You see I love Lily very much, she's perfect, and I like it when she smiles."

"Well, I'm happy now," said Lily, stretching her lips into the biggest, weirdest looking fake-grin you have ever seen. "See. Smiling. I'll even laugh. Ha. Haha. Ha. Aha. Ha."

"Yay!" exclaimed James.

"Great, so will you stop singing now?" asked Alice.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" asked Hestia, smiling slightly evilly.

"You're right, I do," said Alice happily, causing Hestia's face to fall. "This is going to be fun!"

"What?" asked Lily, aghast. "If I knew you were going to think that I would have asked Hest to do it…"

"Well, I'm certainly glad you didn't," muttered Hestia.

"I figure that if I'm going to have to do it anyway I might as well enjoy it," said Alice, shrugging.

"It's a right shame that mindset doesn't work when it comes to exams," sighed Frank.

"That is true," said Alice, shaking her head. "But I find that if I—"

"If you're going to go and murder some books," interrupted Sirius angrily, "Could you please go and do it soon before I feel the need to _actually_ kill you? Because I will. Don't think I won't. I'll do anything to save my one and only love."

"All right Sirius," smirked Alice, getting to her feet. "You'd better avoid the fourth floor for the rest of this period."

* * *

><p>Getting the books was easier than Alice had expected to be.<p>

Although, if you think about it that way, she'd been expecting it to be impossible so the fact that she managed to get them out at all was exceeding expectations. Yay. She just got an _E_ on her art-of-stealing-books-from-the-library class.

But really it should be an _O_. Alice was that awesome.

Anyway, the reason it was easy was because Madam Pince was sitting at her desk muttering about irritating Gryffindors and slamming a stamp down on some books as hard as she possibly could. So hard, in fact, that a very lost Muggleborn Hufflepuff first year (named Tyler) who had seen Jurassic Park one too many times had frozen, still as still as a statue in one of the corners, thinking it was a Tyrannosaurs Rex. He knew how to avoid a T Rex, because he was a smart little guy.

You know. _Smart._

But then, Alice supposed that kid might well be the smartest person in the whole school, because at least he was prepared for anything. If the past few days had taught Hogwarts anything, that was it.

Be Prepared.

Well, the Girl Guides had to be right about something.

And, you know, the evil guy from _The Lion King._

But anyway, the point is Alice managed to grab a rather large amount of books without too much trouble, and then hauled them to the fourth floor corridor. Why had she said the fourth floor corridor? Well, it was quite a busy one, and if she was going to do this she wanted to do it right. Which meant an audience.

Getting up stairs while carrying a HUGE bag filled with a backbreaking amount of books is not fun, even with a feather-light charm _and_ an undetectable extension charm. But she made it. Eventually.

Settling down on the floor, Alice pulled out her first book and then closed her eyes, waiting for classes to finish and the students to pile out into the hall.

She didn't have to wait long, and pretty soon a group of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw fifth years were bombarded with the _Complete Collection of Complicated Caulldronry, In Eight Volumes_ as they came out of their Arithmancy class.

"Hiyah!" yelled Alice, nailing a Slytherin sixth year on the back of the head with _Five Minute Recipes for the Busy Witch!_ "I hope that teaches you! And take that!"

The Gryffindor third year was a little quicker and ducked out of the way of the hardback copy of _Babbity Rabbity_ that went flying past her.

"Every man for himself!" yelled a Slytherin second year, running quickly past Alice and waving his arms about wildly, knocking over a Hufflepuff as he went. A second later he was sprawling after tripping over a copy of _Agility Training for Kneazles_.

"That'll teach you!" yelled Alice, laughing evilly and throwing another tirade of books. "Prepare to die!"

"What is going on, here?" asked Professor Vector, stepping out into the hall. "One would think—"

"Oh, sorry professor!" called Alice, not sorry at all. It was a bit ironic, nailing an Arithmancy professor with _Logic is Illogical: A Study of Chaos in Magic._ "Didn't see you there. You, on the other hand—" (She threw _Time is Tiring; The Life [so far] of Nicholas Flamel_ (which, let's be honest, is quite a large book) at Amos Diggory's stomach) "—I did see. That's for trying to trick Lily into going on a date with you last month, _idiot_!"

As you can probably tell, this went on for a while.

"Prewett! I am going to— What the hell, was that _Hogwarts, A History_?"

"Nah, that one was a _little_ bit too heavy for me, Brown – besides, don't you ever read? That wasn't even the same colour as _Hogwarts, a History_. Here, read this one, looks like a dieting book."

"OW! That hurt!"

"Oh, boo hoo. Seriously, you should read it – you'll want to look your best for your date with Sirius on Saturday!"

"_Stupefy_!"

"_Protego_! And I wouldn't let Filch see you doing magic in the hallways."

"Prewett! Stop that!" yelled yet another Ravenclaw.

"No can do!" Alice replied, chucking _Managing your Garden Gnomes_ in his general direction. "I am having _way_ too much fun."

"That is likely to be true," said a posh sounding voice. Well, a voice that sounded so posh it was obviously fake.

Alice glanced up at the ceiling.

Great.

"My, my, Filch is _not_ going to be happy when he sees this mess," tutted Peeves, shaking his head. "Perhaps I should begin to clean it up?"

"I think not!" yelled Alice, pulling out a selection of random books. "Take that! And _that!_ And also this! As well as – hey, this one looks interesting, I'll have to get it out again later – _that!_ This too. And I'm going to—"

"That was just plain rude!" exclaimed Peeves, glancing down at the copy of _Law for the Righteous_ that had just passed through his head. "I do hope that you understand that and begin to clean up your manners, young lady."

"You're mental!" Alice replied, ditching _Beautiful Bulgaria: The Traveller's Guide_ at a group of squealing Hufflepuffs. "This is way too fun to stop!"

"I say!" exclaimed Peeves, putting his hands on his hips as he watched a group of Slytherins scatter after Alice threw the 5th issue of _The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle_. "This is getting out of hand!"

"You will never stop me!" cackled Alice, doing a rather passable impression of the Wicked Witch of the West. "Ahahahahahaha!"

"I used to like the Arthurian Legends," wept a young Ravenclaw, staring at the copy of _Merlin and the Legacy of Camelot_ that had recently gifted her with a sore arm. "Now I'm not so sure."

"This has gone on long enough!" exclaimed Peeves. "Where are the professors? Surely they should have sorted this out by now?"

_You know, Peeves has a point_, thought Alice (Something she never would have believed she'd think.) But then, Professor Vector had disappeared after she'd bombarded her, and after the past few days perhaps the other professors were simply too scared. They knew no lasting damage would be done, anyway.

"I don't care," said Alice, shaking her head. "And if you don't leave now I will – oh, look at that. I've run out of books."

"Thank Merlin," sighed Peeves. "Now then, young lady, I expect you will be picking up all these books and returning them to their proper place?"

"Um, no," said Alice. Peeves sighed and pulled a tin from thin air.

"Shame," he said. "I was going to offer you a biscuit. I suppose I could anyway, though. No need to let these fine articles of bakery go to waste."

Polite or not, there was no way Alice was going to accept food of any kind from Peeves. Luckily though – or not so luckily, depending on how you see it – Alice was spared from answering as a very angry professor rounded the corridor at a speed Alice had never thought she was capable of before now.

"Stop that Poltergeist!" screeched McGonagall, her face red, her fists shaking, her bun messy and her robes flowing behind her as she ran. "He's stolen my favourite Ginger Newts!"

Alice had never bolted faster than she did in that moment. Besides, McGonagall was a little busy – she'd deal with the consequences of her dare later.

Peeves also left rather quickly – but not before politely relieving a couple of Ravenclaws of their heavy book bags.

* * *

><p>"I really hope I never have to hug someone again," muttered James, his whole body shuddering in an over-exaggerated way. "That dare was painful."<p>

"Oh Prongs, how quickly you dismiss our love," sighed Remus, shaking his head sadly.

_OH, SO NOW YOU'VE MOVED ON, HAVE YOU? THAT WAS A BIT QUICK, DON'T YOU THINK? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME THAT EASILY?_ –_S_

"Uh, Moony," said Peter, hiding behind Frank. "I think you hurt Padfoot's feelings."

"I don't really care," muttered Remus, his voice trembling.

"Merlin, I can't wait until dinner," muttered Lily.

"Me neither," muttered James, taking out his wand and looking at it forlornly. "I miss my magic."

"Uh, you do realise that none of us have even cast a spell since you got that dare?" asked Hestia.

"It's the principle!" exclaimed James. "I'm used to knowing that I could simply pull out my wand and use magic whenever I want. Having that taken away form me is like… like… losing a child! I can't bear it! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!"

And then James placed his had over his forehead and fell onto the floor. Coincidently, that was also the moment that Flitwick opened the door to his classroom to let the seventh years in.

"Potter, are you feeling alright?" he asked. James groaned in response. "Well then, I suppose you'd best sit up the front of the room so I can keep an eye on your condition. Wouldn't want you to have to see Madam Pomfrey, she has enough patients as it is after this morning. Alright, class – inside!"

"I love professor Flitwick," chuckled Lily as James groaned again and peeled himself off the floor. "He really does know how to deal with the Marauders."

"Why, I might have to agree with you on that one, Miss Evans," said Hestia lightly. Lily rolled her eyes at her.

"You know, he does look rather happy," said Lily, eying the professor's smile. "Who, exactly, did he receive a letter from?"

"Now that would just be telling," said Hestia, with a wink.

"Spoilers," muttered Lily, garnering an odd look. Shame. Alice would have understood.

"Okay, class!" exclaimed Flitwick once everyone was seated. "Due to your exceptional mastering of the _citatio_ spell, we will be moving onto a new topic; unravelling more difficult charms. The theory goes like this…"

Flitwick was rather amazed that his short lecture went mostly uninterrupted, the only brief interruption being when Alice Prewett came running into the room red-faced and out of breath. Flitwick thought it best not to ask. Besides all the Gryffindors were being unusually quiet, never stopping in their note taking…

_So, how did it go? –L_

_Oh, it was awesome. You should have seen the look on Diggory's face! –A  
><em>

_I wish I had been there. This is so unfair. –S_

_It was not a good idea with your mindset at the time, Sirius. –A  
><em>

_Right, but at least I would have been able to laugh about it _now._ –S_

_Yeah, because there isn't much else to laugh about. –J_

_You have gone from insanely happy to insanely depressed in the space of about ten minutes. I'm worried. –H_

_I'm only evening out my feelings. Be happy some, be sad some, you know? –J_

_Um, no. –H_

_No wonder your emotions are so unstable… are all girls like that? –J_

_James, T or D? –A  
><em>

_Snap. –H_

_I would be scared, James. –F_

_I'm scared and I'm not even doing the dare. –P_

_I'm generally scared. Sirius is in the room. His hair is so ugly and greasy that I might have to leave or face spontaneous combustion by way of a cactus. –R  
><em>

_That doesn't even make any sense. –H_

_I think that simply proves how hurt he is, because Moony always makes sense. –P_

_Ah. –H_

_I think you might be looking at Snivellus, Lupin. –S_

_Pretty sure I know where I'm looking, Black. –R_

_So are you admitting that you're looking at my sexy ass? –S_

_Please see the above statement for further reference. Remus Lupin is out right now, he will _not_ get back to you as soon a possible. –R_

_That was harsh, Lupin. Very cold. –S_

_I hate you. –R_

_I feel the burn. –S_

_Your intellect is next to nothing. I thought you said it was cold. –R_

_Your intellect is next to nothing. Dry ice can burn. –S_

_I speculate with finances in jeopardy that you boast a negative aggregate of concepts of what this conglomerate of conglomerates of letters just specified. –R_

_Yeah, well, I, um, think that you… go to hell. –S_

_Okay, I think that's enough. –L_

_I find myself agreeing. –H_

_Hest, you're starting to scare me now. –L_

_Apologies. –H_

_Ahem. –L_

_Sorry. –H_

_Better. –L_

_I think Peeves has a disease and he passed it on to me. That's why I am speaking funny. –H_

_-cricket noises- -P_

_That was mean. –H_

_Join the club. –S_

_-tumble weed- -F_

_-complete silence- -A_

_-more cricket noises with stars in the background- -P_

_-professor Flitwick asking a question- -L_

_Oops. –A_

"Anybody?" asked Flitwick, glancing around the class. Unfortunately, he didn't receive an answer as Lily had not been paying attention and all the Ravenclaws were absent as a result of either that morning or five minutes ago on the fourth floor. "Fine. Mr Black, if you could give the question your best shot, please."

Sirius said nothing.

"Mr Black!"

Sirius still said nothing.

"Excuse me sir," said James, "My mate here has a bit of a sore throat today, and he's unable to talk."

"Then perhaps a visit to the hospital wing is in order?"

Sirius shook his head violently.

_Makes you think he got a sore throat doing something suspicious, doesn't it? He who doth protest too much… -H_

_Shut up, Hest, that is totally inappropriate for a Charms lesson. –A_

_What? I was only suggesting that it was _him_ who was screaming out that annoying song earlier… -H_

"Then you have no excuse as to why you are not answering my question!" exclaimed Flitwick in one of his rare bouts of anger. This day had been entirely too stressful, even if he did receive a flattering letter earlier.

"Maybe he just doesn't know the answer," said a Slytherin snidely.

"Or perhaps he really does have a sore throat and can't talk," muttered a slightly sympathetic Hufflepuff.

_I hate my life. –S_

_Aw, it isn't all bad. –P_

_Yeah, Pads, how dare you dismiss our love so easily? –J_

"Miss Evans, if you could please answer the question?"

"Could you please repeat it, sir?"

Lily, of course, answered the question exactly right, thankfully causing Flitwick to deflate slightly. Unfortunately that signalled the end of theory for the day and they had to move on to practical. Normally the practical part would be considered the best part of the lesson, but…

"I'm screwed," sighed James.

"Don't be so pessimistic," said Lily, pulling out her wand and staring intently at the snuff box in front of her.

"Maybe I can use the power of my mind to solve this crisis," muttered James, placing his elbows on the desk, leaning forward and staring at his stuffed frog with all his might.

"I think you're going to set it on fire like that," muttered Hestia.

"Well, it'd be better than sitting here doing nothing," said James. "Now shush, or you'll ruin my concentration."

"I think doing something with your 'mind' counts as wandless magic," commented Frank. "So wouldn't that make your dare void?"

"Damn it," groaned James, leaning back and closing his eyes. "Why can I never catch a break?"

"Because you are James Potter," said Alice, "And James Potter sucks."

"Aw, I feel so touched."

"Wait," said Hestia, glancing at Alice. "Was that—"

"Yep."

"You really have been taking this quoting thing too seriously. Come on, that dare ended _days _ago."

"Who did she just quote?" asked Peter.

"Lily," said Remus. "Second year."

"That was before her comebacks got creative," added Hestia, pointing her wand at her white goose feather, eyes narrowed. "But I have no idea what is wrong with this damn thing."

"You have to-"

"I know, Lils, Flitwick just gave a whole lecture on it."

"Yeah, one you didn't listen to."

"Neither did you."

"…I read the book."

_I'm feeling a little left out here, guys._ _–S_

_Well then, perhaps you should work on unravelling your curse? –F_

_Since when did you go over to the dark side? –S_

_What is it with all these Star Wars references, guys? –A_

_Hey, don't knock it. Star Wars is like the epitome of awesome. –L_

_I worry. –A_

_Besides, so far I see only one. –L_

_James was going on about moving things with his mind. Seemed awfully like The Force to me. –A  
><em>

_What is Star Wars? I have watched that moving picture called Star Trek, is it the same thing? Because that was pretty cool. -S_

_-gasp- how can you have seen Star Trek but not Star Wars? –L_

_I showed him. Now I regret it. I never should have done anything nice for that horrid excuse of a person. –R_

_Right, you mentioned Sci Fi before. But why turn him into a Trekkie? –L_

_I'm lost. –P_

_I think they've gone into Muggle Mode again, Wormtail. –J_

_Oh, well you would be good at that right now then, right? –P_

_I hate you sometimes. –J_

_That is beginning to get a little old. –P_

_I _despise_ you. –J_

_I like that, though. 'Muggle Mode.' Sounds cool. –L_

_I agree. And we still have to show you guys Doctor Who later, so… -A_

"Mr Potter, how are you getting on?"

"Damn it," James muttered again, looking up to see Flitwick. "Um, great professor… I think I have isolated the curse from the charm on the stuffed frog…"

"And what curse is on it?"

"An animation charm?"

"Close, but that is not a _curse_. Try again. Ah, Mr Boot, I see you have already started to remove the curse on that bottle, well done…"

_Now what am I supposed to do? –J_

_Work it out. –S_

_Harsh. –J_

_Dude, you have no idea what trouble I'm going through, here. You do realise I have to do this all non-verbally. –S_

_At least you can do it in some shape or form. –J_

_Square. –S_

_I'm lost. –P_

_You say that quite a lot. Perhaps we should get you a map? –F_

_We already have a… never mind. –P_

_Or a compass? –F_

_That could work. Wormtail, I will get you a compass for Christmas. –R_

_I don't think that will help at all. The magical fields around Hogwarts would disrupt the magnetic forces that allow the compass to work. –L_

_I will just have to get a magical compass then. –R_

_Does anyone other than me realise how ridiculous this all is? –H_

_Probably not.-A_

_Fantastic. –H_

_A square is a shape. –S_

_Well done Sirius, your intelligence never ceases to surprise me. –L_

_No, that's not what I meant! –S_

_You know, Remus, you never told us what the sentence before meant. –A_

_Can't you read? –R_

_Yeah, but the English translation is… -A_

_I did write it in English. –R_

_But your use of the words were incorrect in that specific context making the entire sentence undecipherable. –L_

_You did figure it out though, didn't you Lily. –R_

…_Yeah. –L_

_But she used a thesaurus, that's cheating. –J_

_No it isn't, I was simply using the resources available to me. –L_

_Life sucks. –S_

_Aw, I know. –L_

_And moving on with The Game… Frank, T or D? –A_

_D. –F_

_I dare you to hug every single Slytherin first year. This has to be completed before the end of The Game. –A_

_It could be worse. –F_

_Um, how? –S  
><em>

_I could have had to hug the seventh years. –F_

_Fair enough. –S_

_Sirius, T or D? –F_

_D. –S_

_Awesome. Sirius, I dare you to wear socks on your hands until your speaking dare ends. –F_

_WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD! –S_

_Start taking your shoes off, Sirius. –H_

_This was not a good idea. Frank, I revoke your status as genius. –J_

_Why? –F_

…_do you really need to think about that? –J_

_Sirius? Taking his shoes off in class…wearing his socks on his hands… -P_

_You do realise that he can wear the same pair of socks for up to a week before Moony pins him down and forces him to change them? –J_

_What? I hate laundry. –S_

_Too late now, I suppose. Bubble head charms at the ready guys, they might be needed. –F_

_I take offense to that. –S  
><em>

_Shoes. Off. Now. –A_

"So, has everybody discovered what curse has been placed upon their object?" squeaked Professor Flitwick.

The majority of the class, Lily and Remus nodded. Frank, Hestia and Alice winced, but looked kind of okay. Peter looked about the same as he always did when asked to hand something in – worried. Sirius was busy pulling off his shoes, and James tried not to look guilty.

Flitwick asked the students to bring their object up to his desk so he could inspect them and give them a mark. Sirius quickly dumped his and ran off before he could be asked another question, while many of the others moved up much more slowly.

One of the Hufflepuffs was covered boils. It would seem she had picked up her object and… unfortunately discovered her curse the hard way.

Most of the Gryffindors handed theirs in without a problem, but when James went to dump his untouched, still croaking stuffed frog on the desk Flitwick raised a hand to stop him.

"Mr Potter… did you discover what curse was upon your object?"

"Uh… maybe?" said James. "Professor, why can't you just look at my frog and tell me if I did it right or not?"

Flitwick narrowed his eyes for a second, but then smiled and gestured for James to sit back down. The moment all the students were back in their seats, Flitwick waved his wand and a small piece of parchment appeared in front of them.

"That tells you what curse was on your object," said the Professor. "This way you are able to take back what you learned and incorporate it into your study immediately. I will give you a full report on your progress this time next week. Class dismissed."

"Yes," said Hestia, grinning. "It _was_ a slow-moving invisibility curse! The counter spell I used should have worked."

James, meanwhile, was staring at his parchment in horror.

"What?" asked Lily, moving over to him. "Did you get it wrong?"

"Of course he did, he couldn't use magic," commented Alice.

"I think I just got pranked by a professor," said James, still shocked.

"What?" asked Lily, grabbing the parchment off him. Then here eyes bulged as she read over the two words.

_No curse._

"That is awesome," said Peter, grinning.

"Completely amazing," agreed Frank.

"I love professor Flitwick," sighed Hestia.

"Everyone loves professor Flitwick," said Lily, grinning,

"James, you just got owned by a _professor_," said Alice, smirking.

The group of them continued to laugh and joke, but Sirius just sat there with his arms crossed, irritated that he couldn't ask to see what was on the parchment and he couldn't write because of the socks.

Damn them. He would just have to think of something utterly brilliant for when it was next his turn.

Oh, but wait…

It _was_ his turn.

* * *

><p><em>I hate you Sirius. -P<em>

_So do I. I can't BELIEVE you roped me into this. -L_

_I can. It's Sirius. -H_

_But still… -L_

_Stop complaining Lils, astronomy is hours away. You might have done something much worse by then. -A_

_Not helping, Alice. -L_

_Moony, T or D? -P_

_D. -R_

_I dare you to go and get relationship advice from Dumbledore. -P_

… _I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. -R_

_Well, get going! -P_

Remus sent a glare in Peter's direction, realising exactly how hard this was going to be. If he went to get 'relationship' advice, even if he managed to find a loophole, Dumbledore was sure to mention Sirius. And then where would he be?

Where?

Come on, it's not a difficult question. He'd be outside the room, crying his eyes out.

But he might as well get it over with.

With one last glare at Peter, Remus stalked away in the general direction of Dumbledore's office.

_Į __ωİς__b __ϖ__e C__Ου__l__δ __WαŧÇħ__ -S_

_What was that? -L_

_W__ΓıŦĨΠϑ ωι+h ζOcķS ≈ ĦĄRĐ -S_

_Man, your handwriting sucks worse than usual. -J_

_Łİkθ τO ςθe __ϒΟυ__ ŦΓΥ -S_

_Why don't you just… not write? -L_

_:-( -S_

_Ah, the faces make a comeback. -A_

_I think that's his annoyed face. -J_

_Yeah, because you asked a stupid question. -F_

_Fair enough, I suppose. -J_

_Anyway, I think he said 'I wish we could watch' -L_

√ _-S_

_And that looks like a tick. -P_

_Yes, Peter, thank you. -H_

_But you guys do realise he's just going to find a loophole, right? -L_

_Yeah, but let's be honest… this is one of those dares that even the loopholes aren't going to help. -F  
><em>

_Too true. Peter, genius status instated. -J_

_Who made you boss? -L_

_Padfoot did. And he can't deny it because he can't write fast enough. -J_

_Everyone, stop writing. -L_

_What? No- write, write, write, wri~~~~ -J_

_Got it! -H_

_ϒΟυΓε ΛιΙ ωΓοηϑ__ ζΙŖΙŲζ βιΛÇĸ ≈ ζυρrΘmę ΘνεΓισrĐ Οƒ ξνΘΓϒŧĥíπϑ!ļļ!ļ! -S_

…_Right. -L_

_I think we should leave off this conversation and wait for Remus in the common room. -A_

_I think I agree. -L_

* * *

><p>Remus felt an odd sense of déjà vu as he stalked down the corridors towards Dumbledore's office. Of course, it wasn't completely similar as it was day, unlike most of his recent more horrible dares, and he wasn't going to have <em>steal<em> anything or make certain alterations… this one was all humiliation, plain and simple. Different from most of the other dares he had done.

But the feeling of foreboding… that was there in tenfold.

He groaned the second he reached the gargoyle.

"Um, hi," he said, wincing as it glanced at him. "I'm here to see Professor Dumbledore…"

"Last time you said you were only fetching something," it said. "Got me in a lot of trouble, that did."

Remus jumped.

"You've never actually responded to me before," he said.

"Special circumstances," it replied. Remus swore it stuck its nose in the air. "Now, seeing as you don't have an appointment I'm not letting you in unless you know the password. And the password has changed since the last time you were here. Therefore-"

"Barley Sugar," said Remus, rolling his eyes.

"What? How? The last time you were here you said 'Peanut Butter Cups!' How did you know about the change?"

"I have my ways," he said, knowing that the statue would assume he meant something against the school rules and not that Dumbledore simply kept him posted on the changing passwords in case he needed to talk to the headmaster about his condition. "Now, move aside."

"I have never encountered-"

"Move aside _please_."

"Fine. But don't think this is going to happen again. The Headmaster will change the password once more," the gargoyle hissed as it jumped aside.

"If he didn't want people getting in he would use passwords that are more difficult to guess," muttered Remus, his nerves returning as he climbed the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Enter."

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, a couple of sheets of parchment stacked in front of him.

"Ah, Mr Lupin," he said. "Nice to see you knocked this time."

"Er, about that Professor-"

"No worries my boy, we all hit that time when we wish to be a little rebellious. What was it you wanted to ask?"

"Well Professor-"

"Why don't you sit down?"

"Oh, of course." Remus moved to the chair directly in front of Dumbledore and sat awkwardly. "Um…"

"Well?"

"I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

"Anything, Mr Lupin."

"Anything?"'

"Well, within reason. I will not help you turn the Black Lake yellow, no matter how many times you ask. Minerva would never let me hear the end of it."

"Right… but I was thinking of something a little more, erm, mundane."

"And what might that be?"

"Do you think you could help me with some… " Remus whispered the next two words _very_ quietly in his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, could repeat that?"

"Some _relationship advice_?" Remus all but yelled the last two words, knowing they wouldn't come out at all otherwise.

Dumbledore paused, and leaned back in his chair, inspecting Remus over the tips of his fingers.

"Remus," he said after a couple of seconds, "I don't believe I am the best person for this conversation. Perhaps one of your friends-"

"You don't understand," groaned Remus, "I can't talk to them, James would just laugh, Peter is absolutely clueless and I can't just go and talk to-" He cut himself off, and squeezed his eyes shut. "Lily might help a little, but she can't understand."

"Perhaps Madame Pomfrey-"

"She's really busy right now, what with that whole 'House Elves on Ice' thing this morning, and I didn't want to bother her with my stupid little problems."

"Then maybe Minerva-"

"Professor, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to be blunt. Ever since the moment you decided to allow me to come to this school I have felt indebted to you, but when I came to know you in first year after you always made sure that I was alright and that I was comfortable I started to feel more comfortable around you than I do around almost anybody else. In fact, at this present moment due to certain… circumstances I might feel more comfortable around you than _anyone_. Professor, please, I need help. I'm in a lot of trouble with my mates and I need to _talk_ to someone, and you are my first choice. But I suppose if you're busy I can just go and… work it out on my own."

"Remus, sit back down," sighed Dumbledore, running a hand over his face. "I am flattered that you think so highly of me, Remus, but to be honest I am not the best person to ask for advice on these matters, like I said before."

"But professor, you've got loads of friends," said Remus. "Surely you must-"

"I've never really been any good at making friends," sighed Dumbledore. "In school I only had one, being too absorbed in my studies to attract the attention of anyone else. Elphias himself didn't have any other friends, and I wonder if we simply gravitated towards each other just so we had someone to talk to. As I grew older, I tried to keep myself distanced…"

Remus narrowed his eyes shrewdly, ignoring the dare for now. Because Remus had always been good at reading people, but normally the headmaster was the exception. Now, though…

"Some one hurt you in the past," said Remus. "Someone you really cared for… and afterwards you had trust issues."

Dumbledore's eyes flashed, and suddenly Remus wished he had kept his mouth shut. This was personal. This wasn't something that _anybody_ knew…

But in a second, Dumbledore was back to his old self.

"Why do you need my help, Remus? You seem to have great insight."

"It's easy to be observant when looking from an objective viewpoint," he replied. "I just… think it would help to talk about it."

"I think you might be right," said Dumbledore. "Is this about your problems with Mister Black?"

And Remus was gone.

Albus was understandably a little confused as to _why_ Remus had run out of the room, but as the gargoyle had not alerted him that someone had left he knew Remus must simply be sitting on the stairs. So he walked across and opened the door and sure enough, there he was. Well, he was sitting at the bottom of the stairs being taunted by the gargoyle, but he not gone past it.

"Remus?" asked the headmaster.

"Oh, I'm sorry professor," Remus replied, standing up and heading back into the office. "Where were we?"

"I was just asking if it had something to do with-"

"_Him_, yes. Kind of. When I said 'relationship advice', I meant as in a _friendly_ relationship, not anything else."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

Dumbledore smiled internally. If he had suspicious before, he was sure now. That was blatant avoidance. It was clear Remus Lupin was not in the office by his own free will. Oh well, Albus knew how to play along.

"So what seems to be the problem?"

"They keep mocking me!" Remus suddenly exclaimed, wailing at the top of his voice as the floodgates opened. "It's like they don't appreciate every single thing I've done for them! I've done so much, and what do they give me in return? Insults and more slavery and smelly socks! Can't they see what I've done for them? Can't they?"

"Remus-"

"James used to need me, but now he had Lily there's nothing for me to comfort him about. He's always off in his dreamland with no time for little old me! And Peter… where do I start with Peter? We used to have something, you know? There'd be James and… the other one, the super loud and crazy pair, and then there'd be Peter and Remus, the quiet, more sensible pair. But lately Peter has been closed off and isn't talking to me as much and I'm starting to feel left out! It isn't _fair!_"

"And what about Sirius?"

Remus let out a long, high pitched keen before running back out the door, tears streaming down his face, leaving a very bemused Professor Dumbledore to go an fetch him again.

This time, the gargoyle was not sparing with its insults.

* * *

><p>"So, how'd it go?" asked Hestia, trying not to laugh as a very bedraggled looking Remus wandered into the common room.<p>

Remus glared at her, then collapsed on a couch.

_James, T or D? -R  
><em>

"That bad, huh?" asked Frank sympathetically.

"You have _no_ idea," groaned Remus.

D. -J

Remus conjured a Muggle permanent marker and tiredly chucked it at his friend.

_Please go and draw a mustache or something on the gargoyle outside Dumbledore's office. -R_

_Um, why? -L_

_He has it coming. -R_

_I think this is one of those times when its better to just not ask, Lils. -J_

_Yeah, I'm getting that vibe. -L_

James sighed, stood up and headed out the portrait hole.

"So," said Alice, smirking at Lily. "How are we going to do this?"

"Well, I think our best bet is to do it after dinner," said Lily. "Perhaps if we get a big screen or something and project it?"

"Maybe, but how?"

"The Room of Requirement!" Lily exclaimed, jumping up and turning to Remus. "You guys said it would do anything you ask for, right?"

Remus still seemed despondent.

"Yeah," said Peter, noticing that Remus was still a little out of it and Sirius was still struggling to communicate. He could kind of write, as demonstrated before, but it took him a long time and it was hardly legible. He seemed to be in his own world at that point, staring at his sock-encased hands and wiggling his fingers as if he were trying to invent a new method of sign language.

"Well, why don't we just use that?" asked Lily, turning back to Alice.

"Great idea," she said, grinning.

"We're doing this."

"Definitely."

"Can't wait."

"I'm worried," said Frank.

"Oh, I'm with you on that one," said Hestia.

The next twenty minutes or so was filled with meaningless conversation and many crazy arm movements courtesy of Sirius. Before they knew it, James had come back.

_Wow, that gargoyle sure is more talkative than ever. -J_

_He has never said anything to me before. -P_

_Be grateful. -R_

_Wormtail, T or D? -J_

_D. -J_

_Every time you hear the word 'food', you have to scream. And I don't mean some half-ass little pansy scream, I want there to be _enthusiasm_. I want the most high-pitched, loud, and _piercing_ scream you can possibly manage. Oh, and guys, please don't just randomly say the word all the time, I do like my eardrums the way they are. -J_

_Fair enough. -F_

_Plus, Sirius can't talk so that cuts down the possibility of immature badgering by about 98%. -L_

_Į ΓΘseπŧ +ħąŧ. -S_

_And Peter, it will last until my magic dare and Sirius' talking and sock dares end._

_Still not happy with all this pressure. -R_

_Hestia, T or D? -P_

_I think I'll go T this time, I still haven't quite finished my last dare. -H_

_Would you rather be alone forever or surrounded by loved ones and die early? -P_

_Wow, bit morbid there, Pete. -F_

_More than just a bit. -A_

_How early? -H_

_Like, _early_-early. One year from now? -P_

_Well, they say that one good day is worth a million years of bad ones. -H_

_Do they? -P_

_I don't know, but someone has probably something along those lines though. -A_

_And when you say forever… -H_

_I mean like _forever-_forever. -P_

_Your descriptions leave a lot to be desired, you know that right? -H_

_Sorry. -P_

_But hey, I think living forever would get weary even if you _do_ have people to share it with. I mean, Lily once told me that the sun is going to explode soon anyway-_

"I never said _soon_," huffed Lily.

_-and that even if that doesn't happen the Muggles are destroying the world, so then what would I do? Float around in space? But even if the world did last forever with me I don't think I could handle that long alone with no friends, no family and nobody to talk to. -H_

_So your answer is? -P_

_I'll take the one year with my loved ones. Besides, it's like Dumbledore says - '_For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.'_ -H_

_I'm pretty sure that wasn't Dumbledore. -A_

_Whatever, I heard it _somewhere_. -H_

_Yeah, it was William Penn. -A_

_How the hell you know these things? -F_

_I don't know. Anyway, I bet Dumbledore does come up with some wise quote about death in the future. -A_

_Dumbledore is always going to come up with some wise crazy thing, it's like in his job description. -P_

_Well I don't really care, okay? -H_

_Remus, T or D? -H_

_But I just… whatever. T. -R_

_Which Marauder do you most want to make out with? -H_

_Did she just..? -J_

Sirius stood up and began stomping back and forth, throwing his arms about like a marionette piloted by a three year old on steroids. Then after a couple of seconds he just stood in front of Hestia, crossed his arms and glared at her menacingly.

Remus hadn't yet responded, as the moment he heard the bang indicating Sirius was on a rampage he had screwed his eyes shut.

"S- Padfoot," said Hestia sternly. "I know that you're very upset about the whole Remus thing, but this is just a simple question."

Sirius gave her a look that indicated he did _not_ think it was just a 'simple question.'

"Look," she sighed. "You're the one that broke up with _him_-"

She was cut off as Sirius thrust an incredibly smelly and _disgusting_ sock covered hand over her mouth.

"Emrhgh!" she squealed, leaning backward to try and get out of the way. Sirius somehow managed to arrange his hand so that only the index finger was lifted - something that could been seen even though the sock was in the way - and then lifted it to his lips in a universal 'shh' motion. Then he turned to his parchment.

Hestia was forced to wait the extra seconds it took Sirius to write. Apparently he felt very strongly about whatever it was.

_Ħę __διδ ποτ bΓeαķ υρ ωĩ+ħ mθ ~ Į βΓοκe υρ ωιτh __ĦĮΜ__ -S_

"Sure you did, Sirius," sad Hestia. Sirius scowled.

_FíΠε. Μυ+ųα|. -S_

"Whatever. But my point is you need to suck it up and deal. This is just a truth question, and in this Game your personal relationship issues are not to be tolerated, do you understand?"

_Ŋοt ιŋ łħē ΓυΙeς. -S_

"Never mind that, this is common sense. Like, one of those well known rules that don't need to be written down."

"Like normalised customary law," said Remus, his eyes still squeezed shut.

"I have no idea what that is, but I'm going to assume so," said Hestia. "So, Sirius, what do you have to say about that?"

…

"Sorry. Bad joke."

"I'll say," muttered Lily.

"But my point still stands. Do you understand?" Hestia paused. "Man, that sounded awkward. Do you, um…"

"Capiche?" asked Lily.

"Yeah. That," said Hestia. "Sounds much less awkward than saying 'stand' twice in about three seconds."

"You know it's bad when people like words such as 'capiche', muttered Peter.

"Aw, come on, its one of those awesome words," said Hestia. "Like… _touché._"

"Touché," said Peter, grinning.

"Oh you… never mind. Sirius?"

_Į υπδeΓςταηd. -S_

"Great, so and sit down like a calm person would you?"

"Yeah, Padfoot," muttered James. "_Sit._"

Sirius might not be able to talk, but the look on his face said it all.

"So, Remus," said Hestia, turning to said Marauder. "You still haven't answered your question."

Remus groaned, opened his eyes and re-inked his quill.

_I don't think I can, seeing as how I don't want to make out with any of them. -R_

_Nu uh, no loopholes this time. I said which one you wanted to make out with the _most_, which in turn can be which one you would want to make out with the less least. -H_

_That makes no sense. -J_

_Yes it does, she just used a double negative. There are definitely more understandable ways to word it, though.. -L_

_Fine. I can also mean which Marauder you would be the _least_ opposed to making out with. -H_

_That's better. -L_

_You really can't argue with that logic, Remus. -F_

_Frank has a point. -J_

_Oh great. Fine. Let me think for a second. -R_

_Wow, I'm insulted. I thought it would be an easy choice! -J_

_James, is there something you're not telling us? You know, since you seem to be quite acquainted with kissing other Marauders these days? -A_

_You're awful. -J_

_Coming from you, I'll take it as a compliment. -A_

_Okay, lets see if I can reason this out logically. -R_

_Ouch. -J_

_Awkward… -F_

_Okay, so I definitely would not want to kiss Padfoot, for very obvious reasons. -R_

_Not obvious. Care spelling them out? -J_

_CRUEL! -H_

_Hey, you're the one who gave him the question! -J_

_Maybe I'm feeling guilty and believe that he deserves the least amount of further prickling possible? -H_

_You can only say 'maybe' if there's only a slight possibility of it being true. -J_

_Whatever. -H_

_Saying 'whatever' at the end of an argument usually signifies failure. -J_

_ΥΟυνε ĐeƒÍπαtęΙγ βeēŋ ζρεπδιηϑ ŧoo mυçħ łımė ωιτh Łıŀγ. -S_

_Ouch. -L_

_That almost proves his point, you know, James reacted exactly the same way only a couple of minutes ago. -P_

_Stop taking his side, Wormtail! -J_

_There's no pleasing some people. -P_

_Agreed. Get on with it, Remus. -H_

_Well, as I said, not Padfoot. Also not Moony, because that would be a physical impossibility. If you had said 'kiss' instead of make out I could have said I would just kiss Moony's hand or something (it would still be weird, but still the lesser of two evils) but you didn't. Damn you for that, by the way. -R_

_Specialty of mine. -H_

_Anyway, that leaves Prongs and Wormtail. If I'm being honest, I just have to think about the consequences because I believe the act itself would be the same no matter which it would be with. -R_

_I… am not sure what to think about that. -J_

_So, the consequences. I think that Prongs is one of those guys who wouldn't care (especially after the other morning) and would be likely to share it around the school, intentionally or not. -R_

_Why do you guys keep referencing that? -J_

_Remus, after the little fiasco with Padfoot, well… lets just say I think that ship has sailed. -F_

_Shut up, I'm trying to look at this from a logical view point. -R_

_Then shouldn't you look at all the evidence? -A_

_No. Stop ruining my track. Anyway, because of this I am inclined to say Wormtail. -R_

_Do I feel flattered, or grossed out? I'm not sure at the moment. -P_

_Neither. Because I don't want to kiss any of you, but you're the lesser evil. Think… choosing between Voldemort and Grindelwald. -R_

_Um... -P_

_I see what you mean. They're both evil, and they've both done terrible things. Grindelwald might have killed more people than Voldemort to date, but Voldemort is still at large and has the possibility of getting _a lot_ worse. It is a very hard choice, and only the smallest of details could possibly sway you in either direction. -L_

_Exactly. Thanks, Lily. -R_

_No problem. -L_

_And for that, Lily, T or D? -R_

_How is that a thank you? -L_

_He probably means he will go easy on you. -H_

_God, I hope so. D. -L_

_I have something that I've been meaning to do for a while but have been a little too worried to do so… so I'm going to ask you to do it. -R_

_What? -L_

_Lily, I dare you to teach us how to play basketball. -R_

* * *

><p>As they walked down the hallways towards the seventh floor, Frank paused.<p>

Wandering in the opposite direction was a pair of Slytherins. He recognised the two girls, not by name or anything, just on sight. But he knew.

He broke away from the others and walked towards the girls.

The first one he was able to catch off guard, just wrapping his arms around her quickly and letting ago a second later. Unfortunately, that meant the other one saw him coming.

"What the hell!"

"You molested me!"

"Get away from us!"

"You misunderstand, I just want to-"

"You're a Gryffindor."

"Great observation skills, but I really just-"

"Look, I don't know what your game is, but we know some pretty awesome spells now so-"

Frank rolled his eyes and quickly hugged the snarky eleven year old before rushing back off to his friends.

"DON'T THINK WE'LL FORGET THIS!"

"I'M GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS! THAT WAS HARASSMENT!"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I'm doing this," sighed Lily, looking up at the hoop.<p>

"That's the way everyone feels about their dares," muttered Frank, shuddering at the thought of what had occurred only minutes before.

"That's not what I meant," said Lily. "It's just… teaching basketball to James Potter, the Quidditch nut? Not to mention five other pure bloods. At least Remus kind of knows what it is since he owns a TV, but he said he's never actually tried it."

"I do like football though," said Remus, joining them. "My uncle taught me. He didn't know about magic, you see, and one time he came over and couldn't believe I didn't know anything about it. So he taught me, and after that whenever he came over we'd go out into the field and kick a ball around. But um, _Padfoot_ flicked over onto a basketball game when he was messing with the TV when he came over to my house once in fourth year and he's been badgering me ever since. I am, of course, doing this for _Prongs_, not HIM, and I couldn't pass up this opportunity…"

"Yes, of course," said Lily. "We know you're doing this for… James."

"Are we ready?" asked James, practically bouncing up to them in his excitement.

"I think so," said Lily. "I've never actually been to a proper basketball match and I've never played, so I don't know all the finer details-"

"The pitch is this rectangle, right?" James interrupted, gesturing to the lines on the ground. They had decided to come to the Room of Requirement, a place that Lily really was beginning to appreciate. In this particular incident, it had blessed them with an entire basketball stadium, complete with stands, a large scoreboard, change rooms and more suitable clothes (something they had quickly utilised.)

"Yeah, but in basketball it's called a court, nit a pitch."

"So are we ready?" Remus asked.

"Like I was saying, I don't know the fine details of the game and we don't have access to a rule book nor the internet so I'm just going with my primary school and partial TV watching knowledge. I don't know the proper places and even if I did I think it would take too long to explain. So we're just going to play a free for all, simple version."

That, it turned out, had been an incredibly good idea.

It took James an entire ten minutes to accept the fact that there was only one ball. He understood completely that they would be playing on foot since even the most intellectually challenged wizard or witch knows that Muggles can't fly. But the single ball was a matter of confusion and James kept asking if members of the audience were the ones who threw the bludgers, and if so how would they manage since they didn't have an audience?

But he got it eventually.

Lily split them up into two teams, and sent a colour changing charm at their clothes to form some sort of uniform.

James, Remus, Hestia, Alice were team blue.

Sirius, Peter, Frank and herself were team red. (In hindsight, she should have thought this through a little more. Red looked utterly horrid with her hair. Normally she wouldn't worry about such things, especially not when playing sport but still. It was _red_.)

She figured this was fair, and she there was no way she was putting Sirius and Remus on the same team. Besides, it would be a good idea to have her and Remus on separate teams because they were the only ones who had some idea of what was going on.

She quickly explained dribbling the ball, passing it, and how to score. They all seemed to get the concept pretty quickly (even James) and so Lily figured they might as well just start. If there were any other issues, they could work it out as they went along.

Wrong move.

_NOTE TO SELF: When teaching teenaged boys (especially those known as 'Marauders') how to play a new sport, be sure to explain the rules involving physical contact and tackling. _

Lily managed to come to this conclusion after Sirius and James had a head on collision practically three seconds in and James ended up with a bloody nose.

"_Episkey_," said Remus, almost lazily. It seemed he had a lot of practice.

Sirius shot James an apologetic look.

Admittedly, after that it did get a little bit better.

Lily's team _was_ going really well.

"Frank, here!"

"Lily, I'm free!"

"Here, here!"

"Peter!"

"Hest! Oi, Hestia, give it to me!"

"Ahahaha! I got it!"

"James, to me!"

"Nice catch, Pete!"

"Here!"

Sirius had to resort to jumping up and down and waving his arms, but it still worked.

Frank thought Sirius was a little further away than he actually was and threw it with quite some force. Although basketballs are quite easy to grip, socks are also quite well known for providing _no_ grip, and the ball slipped through Sirius' hands and came into contact with his nose.

"_Episkey_," said James, pointing his wand at his best mate's face, since Remus was unable to do so without crying.

Sirius seemed to have a glare etched continuously on his face.

"I don't think that's very safe," whispered Alice, gesturing to the socks. "Maybe he should-"

"He'll be fine," said James. "Now, come on - we can't let those guys win."

And so it continued, and this time, due to the red team's new hesitancy to throw to Sirius the blue team gained dramatically.

When Remus called a break, Sirius marched over to Frank and seemed to be having a silent rant at him, complete with angry hand gestured and facial expressions. He also seemed to be mouthing words, but due to the speed of it Frank couldn't tell what he was saying.

"Calm down, Pads," said James. Sirius glared, then made a gesture that was very easily translated.

"Okay, team meeting," called Frank. "James, Remus, go away. Lily, Pete, get over here!"

The moment the four of them were together, Sirius began his rapid silent talking again.

"Maybe we'd do better with charades?" asked Lily.

Sirius let out an exaggerated sigh, then shrugged. Then he pushed his hand at each of them (the only way he could point) in turn, then himself, and then made a large circular gesture with his arms as if he were about to hug someone.

"I don't get it," said Frank.

"Me neither," said Peter.

Sirius frowned, forcibly jabbed his hand at each of them then again made the circular motion. Then he grabbed at the front of his red shirt and shook it.

"Do you mean that we're in a team?" asked Lily.

Sirius nodded vigorously, then pointed to himself.

"You want to be a part of the team?" asked Frank.

Sirius gave them another nod.

"But you _are_ in our team!" exclaimed Peter.

Sirius gave another glare, then jabbed his hand at Frank. Then he gestured at himself before crossing his arms and making one of the most horrific expressions they had seen; his eyes narrowed, as huge frown, nose scrunched and teeth bared. He held that for a few seconds before relaxing his face and then jabbing his hand back at Frank.

"Okay, I have no idea what that was," said Peter.

"Are you guys ready?" called Remus.

"Not yet!" Lily shouted back. "Sirius, are you trying to say that you're angry at Frank?"

Sirius nodded.

"What did I do?" asked Frank incredulously.

"You broke his nose," said Peter. "That might have make him angry."

"Oh, right."

Sirius slapped a hand to his forehead.

"Not because I broke your nose?" Frank sounded rather confused now.

Sirius walked over to the other team, pulled the ball out of Alice's hands before returning at shoving the ball at Frank. Then he pointed to the ball, then to himself.

"Oh," said Lily. "I get it."

"I hope so, because I'm lost," said Frank.

"He's angry because we didn't pass the ball to him all that much."

"Of course," sighed Frank. "Break a nose, all is well. Stop throwing the ball to the guy who can't catch it due to his hands being covered in socks…"

Sirius might not be able to talk or make even the most simplest of gestures with his fingers, but he could still hit people over the head pretty well.

"Okay, Sirius," said Lily, rolling her eyes. "We'll throw it to you more often."

Sirius grinned, seeming to forget his anger.

"Now are you ready?" called Remus.

"Yep!" Frank shouted back.

"Alright!" exclaimed Lily, throwing a fist into the air. "Let's go team!"

This time they moved smoother. They had all gotten the hang of the game, and so they were able to focus more on working together. Red team now made use of all four members, rather than just the three, and they began to slowly catch up to the blue.

"Come on, guys!" yelled James. "This is ridiculous - we can take 'em!"

"I don't think so!" exclaimed lily, jumping up to score. "Look at that!"

"What's the score?" asked Peter.

"We're up by one," said Remus, gesturing to the board.

"I think it's time to end the match," said James. "Isn't it time?"

"Cheater!" exclaimed Peter.

"Hey, I was only joking. You know me, I love a good game."

"Well then, stop stalling!" exclaimed Lily. "Let's go!"

The next few minutes saw Frank scoring another basket, making the score even with three minutes left on the clock.

"Come on, guys!" called Alice from her position in the center of the court., sounding a little desperate. "James, come on!"

"I'm free!" yelled Remus, also in the center but on the opposite side from Alice.

James, near one of the hoops with Hestia, threw the ball, but Sirius jumped up and grabbed it. Due to the socks Sirius' dribbling was awful and Remus should have been able to get the ball off him, but just as he ran forward to do so Lily had an idea.

It was one of those fantastic, last second ideas, one of those ideas that just hit you and there's nothing you can do about it.

"SIRIUS!" she yelled.

Remus froze. He had thought that his team had the advantage, because with the dares still in place Sirius was mute and had limited hand maneuverability. But now…

It would seem he had it completely wrong.

James cried out in horror as Remus wailed and ran out of the Room of Requirement. But he was too far down the court to have a hope of doing anything, and so was Hest.

Alice, seeing what had happened, ran forward to attempt to get the ball from Sirius. But she wasn't quick enough.

Peter quickly moved to run beside his mate and Lily ran to their end in case the two boys got cut off. Frank stayed down the opposite end with James and Hestia in case of a disaster, but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

"Black has the ball!" Frank crowed. "He expertly - ahem - dribbled it the length of the court, dodging Prewett as he goes! He's heading for the ring, folks, he's going to make it! He's almost there, he shoots, he-"

"Falls flat on his face!" exclaimed James, jumping up in elation. "Yes!"

"Time!" yelled Hestia.

"No!" exclaimed Peter. "We were _so close!_"

Sirius did not move from his position, face down on the floor. It would seem he had tripped over his shoelaces, of all things. The ball rolled away sadly until it was stopped by a wall.

Hestia went to get Remus.

"Hey, it wasn't too bad," said Lily. "It was a draw."

"Still disappointing," sighed Peter. Sirius lifted his head before banging it against the floor again.

"That was awesome," said James, bouncing over to the others and pulling Lily into a hug. "Thank you so much for showing us that. Even if there was only one ball, it was fun."

"Don't I get any credit?" asked Remus, coming back inside.

"Nope," said James, pecking Lily on the lips.

"Well, I think a tie is a good result," sighed Frank. "No bragging in the common room that way."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you had won," said Alice.

"But we didn't win," said Frank. "That makes all the difference, doesn't it?"

"We should have won," groaned Peter. "We shouldn't have kept passing the ball to Sirius, we knew something bad was going to happen-"

So quickly that the others almost missed it, Sirius' sock covered hand shot out and closed around Peter's ankle. Next thing they knew Peter was on the ground too.

"Ouch."

"Well, fair's fair," said Lily. "Honestly, we wouldn't have caught up if it weren't for Sirius."

"Not to mention the fact that it was Sirius who caught that ball at the end," added Frank. "If he hadn't Remus would have caught it and then they might have won."

Sirius rolled over and gave the two of them what might have been a thumbs up before returning to his previous position.

"You guys kinda cheated though," said Alice, glancing at Lily.

"Did not!" she exclaimed. "I was only utilising all the weapons in my arsenal."

James and Hestia exchanged confused looks.

"Muggle thing," explained Alice. "But honestly, it was a little unfair-"

"Not really. Sirius was still under the influence of his dares."

"You make it sound like a drug," said Remus. "But they have a point, it was completely fair."

"Yeah, I know," sighed Alice. "Just wanted to see what you would say."

"I thought it was genius," said Peter, getting up and rubbing the back of his head. "So what if it wasn't strictly in the rules, it wasn't _against_ them and it worked."

"Well, anyway," said Alice. "I think we need to get a move on."

"She's right," said Remus. "Dinner starts in fifteen minutes and we still need to-"

Sirius was already up and running towards the changing rooms.

"Well, that's one way to get him off the floor," said Hestia.

"He does seem to be spending an awful lot of time on the floor recently," commented Alice.

"You know Pads," said James. "Anything for food."

"_Glorious _Food," said Lily with a wink, causing all the others to chortle in amusement.

Until Peter started screaming, because then they all covered their ears and winced in pain. Who knew he could reach such a high decibel? It was enough to rival even the Fat Lady.

* * *

><p>They were all staring at him.<p>

Remus was a little disconcerted. People often looked at him, especially after the full moon when he looked more scroungey than usual. Then there was the fact that he was a Marauder.

But having seven people staring at you more intensely than anything when you're about to eat your dinner is slightly more disturbing.

"Uh, guys," he said. "Not to whine or anything but… you're putting me off."

"Off what?" asked Peter, cocking his head. His eyes never left Remus' fork.

"My food," groaned Remus. They weren't quick enough to cover their ear this time. Up at the staff table, the teachers all quickly looked down and began eating with gusto, not wanting the responsibility of disciplining the Marauders. Even an high pitched scream wasn't worth that.

"That's not good," said James, also staring his friend.

"Come on, Remus," said Lily. "We're all waiting."

"Hurry up, please," sighed Hestia.

Sirius made frantic arm movements. Remus, of course, did not see them.

But that didn't mean he wasn't aware of the staring. Because he was. Had he mentioned that the staring was putting him off?

"Guys…"

"For Merlin's sake just eat your foo- _dinner_!" exploded James. "It isn't that hard - lift the fork a little higher, put it in your mouth, chew, swallow. Done."

"I think you forgot to mention that he has to take the fork _out_ of his mouth," said Alice. "Seriously. He could break his teeth doing it your way."

"That's right, Remus," said Frank, rolling his eyes. "Listen to Alice. Not James. James is out to kill you."

"Right now it feels like everyone is out to kill me," growled Remus. "Just stop looking!"

Almost like it had been planned, the seven of them looked away from Remus and then back again a second later simultaneously.

Remus still hadn't moved.

"This is getting ridiculous!" exclaimed Peter. "Just eat, how hard can it be?"

"This is your fault for putting all the pressure on _me_," said Remus. "Honestly, what were you expecting to happen?"

"But you always eat lots," said Peter.

"Not as much as… as…"

"As Sirius, we know," said Hestia. "But it would be unrealistic for Sirius to end his own dare."

"HESTIA!" yelled James as Remus ran out of the great hall. "Thanks a lot!"

"Sorry," said Hest, not feeling all that sorry at all. "You have to admit it is kind of funny, though."

"Well, you're the one who has to go and get him," said Lily, crossing her arms. "I won't do it again."

Five minutes later and they were back where they started.

"Moony," growled James, "If you do not eat something right now I will tell Peter where your chocolate stash is."

"That threat seems a little old," said Alice.

"There's a reason for that," said Peter.

"Oh?"

"It always works."

And true enough, Remus had taken his first bite.

"YES!" yelled Sirius, jumping out of his seat in victory. "I can talk! Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk!"

James had pulled out his wand and was stroking it affectionately.

"I missed you," he whispered. "I will never forsake you for so long ever again!"

"Yeah, because that isn't creepy," muttered Hestia.

"My throat hurts," whined Peter.

"Who cares, I can talk!" exclaimed Sirius.

"You do seem very happy," said Remus, looking at Sirius without crying for the first time in twenty-four hours.

"Well, yes," sighed Sirius. "I've been thinking-"

"That's dangerous."

"-I've been _thinking_ about what happened between us over the past few days," he continued. "I mean, when we were together it was nice and all, but I don't think it worked all that well."

"I agree," said Remus. "I had a good time, but…"

"But we're better off as friends?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking, yes."

"And about today… I think I've been acting a little irrationally. I'm sorry if I caused you any distress or disturbance."

"It's okay, I completely understand. I don't blame you in the slightest."

"Good. I don't blame you either, by the way."

"I think we have a mutual understanding."

"I completely agree."

"Friends?"

"Friends."

"Pass the potatoes?"

"Definitely."

And that was that.

"Man, I wish all my break ups went as well as that," sighed Hestia.

"Are you forgetting the whole past day?" said Lily, incredulous.

"I'm trying to," said Hestia.

"Don't blame you," said Frank, grabbing some food. "Not in the slightest."

"Hey Lils," said Alice, smiling.

"What?"

"I believe it's your turn to ask someone."

"Oh, so it is."

_Alice, T or D? -L_

_D. -A_

_Oh, you know what I want you to do. -L_

_Don't tell me you guys have been plotting something. -J_

_Yeah, because that's against the rules! -S_

_Wow, I never thought there would be a time when I thought Sirius' handwriting was _neat_. -H_

_Trust me, I am actually enjoying writing right now. -S_

_Shocker. -H_

_But you guys should still actually write out the dare. -J_

_Fine. Alice Prewett, I dare you to show these guys at least one episode of Doctor Who.. actually, make it two. We'll do one of those double episodes. -L_

_Oh Lily, I think I know exactly which episode you have in mind. Lets make these big strong boys cry, shall we? -A_

_Not gonna happen. -S_

_Oh you wait, Sirius. Just you wait. -L_

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Alice's previous idea of using the Room of Requirement was a good one. When they went in after dinner, it no longer looked like a basketball stadium. Instead, it had turned into a small movie theater with eight beanbags on the ground.<p>

"Awesome," said Alice. "This is perfect."

"This place is very quickly becoming my new favourite room in Hogwarts," said Hestia.

"Agreed," said Lily.

"Well, we do know all the best places," said Sirius, jumping onto one of the beanbags. "What are these things?"

"They're a Muggle invention," said Lily, jumping on one herself. "Muggles really do have all the best ideas."

"They're so soft and squishy," sighed Hestia. "I want one."

"Now, you guys all know what that screen is, right?" asked Alice, gesturing. They all nodded, even the pure bloods. The Marauders had watched West Side Story and a couple of others at Remus' house, and of course Hestia and Frank knew because of Alice. "Great. Then let's get started. You might not totally understand everything because I'm not going to get you to watch the first episode-"

"Whys that?" asked Sirius.

"Well for starters, the first episode was _loads_ of seasons ago. Even if I started you on the first episode of the reboot, that was in a different season with a different Doctor and... oh, never mind. I'm just going to make you watch this one because Lily and I want to see if you'll cry, okay? Let's just leave it that."

Sirius, James, Frank, Peter and Hestia were all very confused, but decided it was best to just sit down and suck it up. Lily and Alice were looking very excited. It took them a while to figure out how to work the screen since it seemed to be magical rather than electronic, but they got it going eventually.

"Okay," said Alice, finally sitting back. "This episode is called the _Army of Ghosts._"

* * *

><p>"Man, that girl's pretty hot," said Sirius, cocking his head.<p>

"Shh," hissed Hestia, glaring at him.

"She just said that she was dead. Is she a ghost? An inferi?"

"Sirius, I swear…" growled Alice.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh."

=o=

That music is pretty awesome," whispered Sirius.

"I agree," Peter whispered back, "But I don't get why there's a blue box flying around in red goo."

"Shut up!"

"I think that swirly stuff is going to give me a headache," groaned Remus.

"Alice, I don't think they're going to," sighed Lily. "But in all honesty, how many times have you watched this episode?"

"I see your point."

=o=

"That guy's pretty hot."

"Hestia…"

"What, Sirius? Are you the only one allowed to comment on the attractiveness of the actors?"

"Yes."

"Well, stuff you."

=o=

"Dude, ghosts do _not_ look like that."

"We _know_, Padfoot!"

=o=

"I don't get it."

"Of course you don't," groaned Alice.

"But those aren't ghosts," said Sirius, cocking his head. "They can't be, even Muggles can't possibly think ghosts look like that. And why are there so many all over the place? In the _sun_? Every one knows ghosts are hard to see in the sun. Dude, these aren't even transparent!"

"I will not kill Sirius Black," whispered Alice. "I will not kill Sirius Black. I will not kill Sirius Black…"

=o=

"Okay, now they're controlling the realm between life and death!" said Sirius, pointing to the screen where people in lab coats were pulling on a lever.

"I thought you said they weren't ghosts," said Remus.

"They aren't," insisted Sirius. "This just proves it!"

"You know," I'm inclined to believe him," said Hestia. "I've seen some of what Muggle's think ghosts look like at the Evans' house, and this is nothing like it."

"I bet they're something else _pretending_ to be ghosts," said Remus.

"The title was 'Army of Ghosts', right?" said Sirius excitedly. "What if they're going to attack?"

"Man," sighed Lily, glancing at Alice. "If we'd had these guys with us the first time we saw this…"

"They'd be dead already," said Alice. "I'd have killed them, first word out of their mouth."

"True."

=o=

"Hot _and_ smart," said Hestia. "He figured out they're not ghosts almost as quick as we did."

"For the love of Merlin, _shut up!_"

"Sorry, Alice."

=o=

"I think Professor Alby would love that ball thing," said Peter.

"I agree," said James. "Let's conjure her one for Christmas."

"I have a feeling that won't end well," groaned Remus as Sirius quickly joined in the conversation.

=o=

The Marauders were broken out of their conversation by a scream.

"What did we miss?" asked James.

"Maybe if you paid attention you'd know," growled Lily.

=o=

"Ah, Jackie," said Sirius, shaking his head. "It doesn't work like that."

"It's more beautiful when they move on," said James, nodding.

"Ghosts aren't horrific, though."

"Some of them are quite nice, if you stay on their good side."

"But honestly, it is better to move on."

"Don't be afraid of death."

"How the hell do you guys know what happens when you die?" asked Hestia.

"We asked Nick," said Sirius. "You gotta be careful though, it's a touchy subject."

"Can't imagine why," said Frank.

"So you know, then?" asked Alice. "What happens?"

"Only so much as the ghosts know," said James. "They decided to stay. They don't know what happens if you move forward."

=o=

"They… They just… They just caught a ghost," said Peter.

"No, they caught one of those things _pretending_ to be a ghost," said Sirius. "Get with it, Wormtail."

"They're still calling it a ghost," Peter insisted, pointing to the screen.

"They are wrong," said Remus. "It's what television shows do, to increase suspense."

"They still caught one of those things."

"I know, I want to try. It looks like fun."

"I looks like they're hurting it," said Hestia, frowning.

"You guys know this isn't real, right?" said Remus. "It's a show. It's _fictional_."

"I know," snapped Hestia. She replied rather quickly.

"Oh look, now the weird not-ghost-controller woman knows where they are," said James, gesturing back to the screen. "I didn't know Muggle cameras could do that. Are they everywhere? Is it weird knowing that weird ghost controller people can see your every move?"

"It's called CCTV," said Lily. "Surveillance."

"I wouldn't want the Ministry watching _my_ every move," said Sirius, shuddering.

"Still fictional," muttered Remus.

"Although those cameras do exist," said Alice, smirking.

"I AM GLAD WE DON'T USE MUGGLE TECHNOLOGY!" yelled Sirius. "NOW BE QUIET, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE WEIRD BLUE BOX APPARATES TO THE WHITE NOT-GHOST-CONTROL PLACE."

"I'm glad we don't make that noise when we apparate," muttered Peter.

"Hey!" exclaimed Alice. "I love that noise."

=o=

"He just talked to an inanimate ball."

"We know Sirius, Muggles are weird. Be quiet."

"Okay, Hest."

=o=

"I think that not-ghost-controller woman has problems. She's too happy," said James.

"You're one to talk after that stunt in the library," said Frank.

"That was different."

"Was it? How?"

"I wasn't about to face a possible very smart enemy who knows I'm aiding an army of not-ghosts."

Frank had no reply.

=o=

"These 'Torchwood' guys are bit up themselves," said Frank. "Honestly, claiming everything that falls from the sky as their own…"

"I think that Doctor is a bit up himself," said Sirius. "Claiming no one can get in the weird blue box… it's only wood with an undetectable extension charm on the inside. A good _alohomora_ should do the trick, and if not a _confringo_."

"Sirius Black," growled Alice, "I swear, if you even so much as _think_ about _confringo_-ing the TARDIS you will not live to see the-"

"Alice, calm down. They have extrapolator shielding," said Lily.

"Oh yeah."

James glanced to Sirius with wide eyes. Sirius simply shrugged.

=o=

"What is that?" asked James, pointing to the screen and gasping. "Oh my Merlin, what is _that_?"

"It's Muggle," said Lily.

"I want one."

"Me too," said Sirius.

"I saw it first."

"I don't care, there's more than one."

"Remus, did you say that you can search anything in the world on it?"

"Yes."

"For the love of…" James turned back to Lily. "What is it?"

"It's a computer."

"I want one."

"Aw, I know. Too bad they don't work in Hogwarts, or probably in your house. You need electricity."

"But… but…"

"Don't worry, I will introduce you to the wonders of the internet if you come to my house during the holidays."

"But we're staying-"

"Summer holidays."

"I love you."

"Just be careful, Lily," said Alice, smiling. "I don't want you to have created a monster."

"He'll be fine," said Lily, shrugging.

"Maybe," said Alice. "But for the love all that is magical, _do not_ show him tumblr. I don't think we need that kind of horror unleashed upon the world. Think of the damage he could do!"

"Okay, okay. Now calm down, we just missed a whole chunk of the episode."

"I didn't," said Sirius. "There's something in the ball and then there was more screaming."

"Detailed," said Lily, rolling her eyes. "But let's get back to it."

=o=

"Mind control," whispered Remus.

"What?" asked James.

"Mind control!"

"Sounds like the Imperius curse," said Sirius, cocking his head.

"Do you think they could get the Imperius curse into those ear thingos?" asked James.

"STOP GEUSSING, YOU'LL RUIN IT!" yelled Alice.

Then, as if they had rehearsed it, the three boys look at each other, back to Alice and said:

"But it's so obvious!"

=o=

"I think she knows that Sam guy," said Peter.

"Me too," said Frank.

"See!" exclaimed Sirius, glancing at Alice. "They do it too! I'm not the only one who interrupts!"

He was ignored.

=o=

"The ear thingos. Have… bits of their brain…" muttered Peter.

"Well, we were right about the mind control," muttered James.

"But… brains…"

"Muggles are so gross," said Hestia, screwing up her nose. "Brains. Honestly."

=o=

"I called it!" yelled Sirius, jumping up and down and pointing at the screen. "I _so_ called it! They aren't ghosts, they're metal men, and they _are_ trying to attack!"

"So smart of you," groaned Alice as Remus and James began to claim that they had also 'called it'. "Now can we watch?"

"Yeah, it's getting dramatic," said Sirius. "It might be growing on me."

"It'll do more than that," said Lily, smirking.

"They seem to be killing a lot," said Peter, cocking his head.

"Oh look, the ball is opening," said James. "Bets on it being a giant metal man?"

"No, its definitely another metal man. Their leader. He'll come out, kill the two dudes then the Doctor guy will come in a and save the girl," said Sirius.

"Maybe," said Remus.

Lily and Alice exchanged amused glances.

"Here we go, it's opening, opening, open-" James stopped.

"PLOT TWIST!" yelled Sirius. "THAT'S A PLOT TWIST!"

"Attack of the giant pepper pots!" exclaimed Remus, causing Peter to giggle.

"But that- no!" exclaimed Sirius. "How can that be the end? Wait- 'To Be Continued'? What is that?"

"I'll put the next one in," said Alice, standing up.

"No wait!" exclaimed Sirius. "I love this music! Leave it on!"

"Headache," groaned Remus.

"Wimp," muttered James.

"Oookay," said Hestia. "Alice, go ahead."

"Thanks. Okay guys, this one is called _Doomsday_."

"Sounds ominous," said Remus.

"And this is the one that will make Sirius Black cry," said Lily, smiling.

"I'm not going to cry! You wait, you'll be proved wrong."

"Bets, anyone?" asked Alice quietly.

"Three sickles," said James. Lily just laughed.

=o=

"OOOOOOOOWEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, OOOOOWEEEEOOOOOOOOO!" sang Sirius.

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" yelled Remus. "_Silencio!_"

"Why didn't I think of that?" asked Alice.

"You're just not that awesome," said James. "Moony is super genius times four."

"Only four?" asked Remus, pouting.

"Yeah, I'm super genius times five," said James, nodding seriously.

"Making Sirius times negative six," said Peter, smirking. Sirius, very annoyed at being rendered speechless _again_, crossed his arms and glared. He was getting quite skilled at that lately.

=o=

"The pepper pots are called Daleks," said Remus. "And they seem to think they are pest control."

"You'll be _Silencio_-ed in a minute," muttered Lily.

"What the hell is a genesis ark?" asked Frank, cocking his head.

"Ha, you just copied blondie," said Peter.

"You'll just have to wait and see," said Alice. "But if you don't watch you won't know."

=o=

"I like his glasses," said James. "Where can I get glasses like that?"

"They won't help you see any better," said Remus, rolling his eyes. "They're used when Muggles watch 3D movies."

"What are… never mind. They're red and blue! I want some!"

"So colour charm your own glasses!" exclaimed Remus. "It isn't that hard!"

"Brilliant idea, Remus," said James, nodding. "I'm going to do just that."

=o=

"That was awesome," said Sirius. "I like those Daleks! '_Neither did we need him alive_'…. They have a great sense of humour."

"I worry," sighed James.

"Me too," said Alice, "But how the hell are you talking?"

"Psh, I learned non-verbal spells last year," said Sirius, holding up his wand. "It wasn't that hard."

"Alice may or may not have head-butted the table in front of her.

=o=

"Go Daleks!" Sirius cheered as the two different metal creatures began to argue on the screen.

"You're supporting a team?" asked Peter.

"Well, yeah," said Sirius. "Daleks have a way better sense of humour. That thing about pest control was hilarious! And the '_you are only superior in one respec_t' thing? I am so saving that in my mind to use against those Death Eaters."

"I did say they must think of themselves as pest control," said Remus. "_Exterminate_ indeed."

"And they're so awesome! Four versus five million? That's like the Marauders versus the world!"

"There's an awful lot more than five million people in the world," said Remus, "And those things still look like pepper pots."

"They're still more awesome than those cyber-people," said Sirius, sticking his nose in the air. "The cyber people had to pretend to be ghosts to get here. So not cool."

"And the pepper pots sat inside a giant metal ball," said Remus.

"Fine!" exclaimed Sirius. "You go for the Cybermen, I'll go for the Daleks, and we'll see who wins."

"I think the Doctor's going to win," said Frank, raising a hand.

"Well okay, if you want to support a team we won't stop you," said Sirius. "Let the battle begin!"

=o=

See!" exclaimed Frank. "Told you! Those awesome pepper pots are scared of the Doctor, therefore he's going to win."

"Well I'm only invested in the battle between the Daleks and the Cybermen," said Sirius. "I don't care what the guy with the cool glasses does."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you thought the Daleks were going to beat him," muttered Frank. "But whatever, I'm still going to be right."

=o=

"Okay, what just happened?" asked Peter.

"I didn't know Muggle knew how to apparate," said James. "I mean, those guys just appeared, so what else could it be?"

"Random way to introduce new characters, I'll tell you that," said Frank.

"They aren't new, they were in an episode before this one," said Alice. "Two, actually, but I thought you wouldn't appreciate watching the whole series tonight. We do have other things to be doing."

"Right," said James. "But I still don't get the apparating thing."

"They're about to explain," hissed Lily. "Pay attention!"

"A parallel world?" asked Remus. "Smart."

"I don't get it," said Peter.

"It's a Muggle concept," explained Remus. "Where there are other dimensions, basically a separate world where everything's the same but a little bit different."

"You won't be able to explain in five minutes," said Alice. "Peter, you'll just have to go with it."

"I will too, because I am completely confused," said Sirius. "I'm hoping it will go back to more Dalek awesomeness."

"Be patient," groaned Frank. "Honestly, some of us are enjoying the other characters."

=o=

"Those phones are very useful," said James. "Much more convenient than Floo, and much quicker than an owl. Are they real, or are they just made up too?"

"Real," said Lily. "One of the things that I miss about home."

"Frank, your character is being very unsympathetic," said Sirius. "That poor woman is terrified and he's leaving her to run up and down staircases."

"The world is ending," said Frank. "He has more important things to worry about."

"When we start forgetting about the individual, the whole world will fall," said Sirius ominously.

"Who said that?" asked Peter, looking to Alice.

"I did," said Sirius. "The whole 'want of a nail' thing gets old."

"Hey, hey," said James, poking at Sirius. "Pads, look, Moony and Frank's characters are ganging up on yours!"

"Never fear!" exclaimed Sirius. "The Daleks will prevail!"

"You're acting like you _want_ them to destroy London," huffed Alice.

"I thought this was _fiction_," said Sirius. "I guess I do kind of like the Doctor and Rose and stuff, but you have to admit the Daleks are way better than the Cyber-guys."

"Whatever," said Remus, "But the Doctors in with the Dalek's now."

"Lovely," said Sirius, rubbing his hands together. "That mean's the Cybers are not far behind. We've got this!"

=o=

"Oh look, the genesis thingo is being opened," said Frank.

"Yes!" exclaimed Sirius. "Nothing can stop us now!"

=o=

"Exterminate!" yelled Sirius. "Come on, Exterminate those guys! To hell with their pansy 'Delete'-s, Exterminate is _way_ better."

"Extermination is for rats. Deleting is for more advanced concepts," said Remus.

"Exactly!" crowed Sirius. "This is awesome. EXTERMINATE!"

"Oh Merlin, we've created a monster," groaned Alice.

=o=

"Man, I wish they had lifts in Hogwarts," sighed Alice. "It would make the trek to the North Tower so much easier."

"I'm starting to wish for all Muggle technology," said James.

"But not the cameras," whispered Sirius. "Please, not the cameras. I like my privacy."

"Could have fooled me," muttered Hestia.

=o=

"That genesis thing is giving birth to more Daleks!" exclaimed Sirius. "HA!"

"And they're killing people," said Remus.

"Oh, damn," sighed Sirius. "I guess that means I'm not allowed to route for them anymore."

"They already killed that other guy."

"Yeah, but he was only one. This is like, genocide of the human race. And the Cybermen, I suppose, I'm not complaining there. But now I guess I'll have to start supporting the 'good guys'… but whatever, the Daleks are totally winning the battle between the two metal things."

"You're just cutting your losses," accused Frank.

"Yep," said Sirius unashamedly. "That's what smart people do."

"Oh look, something is going to happen!" exclaimed James. 'The people are leaving and the Doctor has a plan-"

"That Rose is very loyal," said Frank.

"Cause she loves him, duh," said Sirius. "Anyway, I think this is leading up to the grand finale."

"Wait, what?" said Frank. "She-"

"Isn't it obvious? Honestly, sometimes I wonder."

"Here we go!" said James, leaning forward.

"And… the void is open!" exclaimed Sirius. "HA!"

"Those Daleks are running away," said Remus, smirking.

"Oh, cowards!" yelled Sirius. "Traitors to your own kind! You should lose the battle with dignity!"

"That's more the Sontaran's style," said Alice. "But whatever. Pay attention now, don't miss this bit."

"What- Oh Merlin! Rose hold on!"

"Don't worry Pads," said James, "She'll be fine! She's one of the main characters, they don't kill off main characters in fictional stories… do they?"

"But remember the start of the last episode," said Remus.

"Merlin…"

"She's about to let go…" whispered Peter.

"NO!"

The whole room seemed to freeze. Then-

"Oh, thank Merlin," sighed Sirius. "God old dad, saving her like that."

"But now she's stuck," whispered Hestia. "Look at the Doctor's face. They'll never see each other again, and they didn't even get to say goodbye."

"But that's…" Sirius paused. "I thought this was supposed to be…"

"They way they're leaning against that wall is so sad!" cried Hestia. "And that music is just getting to me."

"I'm still not going to cry though," said Sirius. "Nuh uh."

"You're thinking about it," whispered Lily. She was feeling fairly sad herself, and she had seen the damn thing about a hundred times.

"Okay, now we're on the dream thing," said Peter, leaning back. "Is it just me or is that kind of creepy?"

"Kind of."

"I think it's sweet," said Hestia.

"They're going to… am I seeing this right?" asked Frank.

'They're going to see each other again!" exclaimed Hestia. "Yes!"

"But not permanently," said Remus, after the Doctor had explained the situation. "What a horrible thing. A few minutes to say goodbye to the person you love with no possible hope of ever seeing them again."

"That's… that's…"

"Very sad," said Frank, completing Hestia's sentence.

"Yeah. Oh, Rose finally admitted it! She said those three words. Now come on, Doctor, you can just-"

"MERLIN!" yelled Sirius. "That is just- couldn't he have had five more seconds? Just to… to…"

"Oh my…" Hestia gasped. "His eyes…"

"How could the world be so cruel!" called Sirius. Alice and Lily, barely keeping it together themselves turned to look at Sirius and lo and behold, his eyes were watering.

"Padfoot?" asked Peter. "Are you… crying?"

"No!" exclaimed Sirius. "I just… poked my eye is all."

"Hold up," said James. It isn't finished yet."

=o=

"What. Was. That." Sirius was the only one who managed to speak. The rest were staring at the screen dumbfounded, too stunned to even comment on the red swirly-ness and the music.

"Weird ending," said Frank, shaking his head to clear it.

"I liked her," said Hestia, wiping her eyes. "She looks awesome."

"Well, maybe we can watch more another day," said Alice. But don't we have somewhere else to be?"

"Hold up," said Lily. "Alice, slow down. First of all, did you like it?"

"It grew on me," said Sirius. "Maybe a little. I did like those feisty little pepper pots, even if they ran away at the last second."

"So Sirius, more or less than Star Trek?" asked Remus.

"Difficult to say… I haven't seen much of either."

"Fair enough," said Lily.

"But seriously, guys," said Alice. "Time."

"What?" asked James.

"Guys…" said Hestia, starting to smile. "Look at the time."

"Time to go," smirked Alice.

"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Sirius, jumping up.

"Can't I have a little time to adjust?" asked Peter. "That was sad, guys! Give me a second!"

"We don't want to be late," said James.

"I'm going to enjoy this," said Frank.

"I think everyone is going to enjoy this," said Alice.

"Is everyone good on their disillusionment charms?" asked Remus.

"Well, lets do the easy thing," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Everyone charm yourself. If we can still see someone, they need help."

"I need help," said Peter, putting up his hand after he was done rubbing his face.

"Well, obviously," said Sirius. "Close your eyes, Wormtail."

Peter did as he was told, so he didn't see the egg that Sirius conjured up. Being disillusioned feels so much like having an egg cracked over your head that he didn't even notice.

"Did it work?" he asked, opening his eyes.

_Then_ he noticed, because it's kind of obvious what happened when you feel egg dripping down your forehead.

"Sirius, that was cruel," said Lily, shaking her head.

"It was hilarious," he chortled, bending over he was laughing so hard.

"Nice one mate," grinned James, holding out his hand for a high-five.

"Honestly, why we thought you had ever changed, I have no idea," sighed Alice, shaking her head as Peter tried to flick the egg out of his hair.

"Oh for the love of Merlin," groaned Remus, pointing his wand at Peter's head. "_Scourgify. _There, now can we go? I _was_ quite excited about this."

"But let's remember who's dare this actually is," said Hestia, crossing her arms. "When this works, and it will, _I _will be the one taking credit."

* * *

><p>"Is this it?"<p>

"Yes, this is it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Sirius, I'm _sure_. Room 467, the large charms classroom."

"Definitely?"

"Sirius, if you give us away I am actually going to murder you."

"I think that's illegal."

"I swear-"

"Sirius, Hestia, both of you just shut up! You're going to give us away!"

"Yes, Miss Lily, Sir."

* * *

><p>Filius Flitwick was smiling as he sat down on one of the desks in room 467. He had arrived before Minerva, but that was okay. He, of course, lived in the charms corridor so it was quite clear that he would be the first to arrive.<p>

Well, he thought he was the first to arrive. He didn't notice the eight teenagers in the corner trying to stay as still and as quiet as possible, hidden due to their disillusionment charms.

He was quite excited, if he did say so himself. He had an admirer. He was quite sure Minerva did not mean it in a romantic sense, because they had been colleagues for such a long time and she had never given any indication of the sort. But still, she had said that she _cared_ for him… it was a nice thought.

The door squeaked as it opened, and Flitwick turned around so that he didn't seem too eager. But then…

"Filius, what are you doing here?"

"Pomona?" he asked, turning to see that the woman in the door was _not_ Minerva. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I…" Professor Sprout tried not to blush. "Well, I'm meeting someone."

"Who?"

"Never mind, why are you here?"

"Do I need a reason to be in a charms classroom? I do teach the subject after all."

"Then why do you seem so flustered?"

"…I'm meeting someone as well."

"Well isn't that a coincidence?"

"Filius? Pomona?" The two turned to see Jeremy Buckleberry standing in the doorway. "What are the two of you doing here?"

"Well," said Flitwick, frowning. "I think we have a problem."

* * *

><p>Horace Slughorn was feeling <em>very<em> apprehensive. He was seriously reconsidering his decision. Perhaps it would be less cruel not to lead the man on, and instead simply not turn up?

But the thought of free alcohol was seriously influencing his judgement…

And it would be less cruel to actually go and explain things to the poor chap, right?

He must have changed directions at least twenty times on his way to the charms corridor, but he did find himself outside of room 467. So he went in, despite the fact that he was now late.

What he found was not what he had been expecting.

"Oh, not you too!" exclaimed Madame Pomfrey.

The whole room was practically full. Most of the teachers seemed to be moving around the room searching for somebody, but they appeared to be having no luck finding them, probably because they were _all_ moving.

Well, almost all. Argus Filch was somehow perched on one of the rafters with Mrs Norris clutched in his arms while Hagrid tried to pull Fang - who, despite being a puppy was still very strong - away from underneath where he was jumping up to try and get to the cat. Dumbledore was standing at he front of the classroom having a serious conversation with Minerva, Filius and Jeremy. Buckleberry kept shooting glances at Professor Sinistra, but she was too busy trying to get Kettleburn's attention to notice. In turn, Kettleburn was ignoring her in favour of chasing after Madame Pince the librarian, but she was frantically trying to coax Filch into coming back down.

The whole thing was a massive swirling mess of chaos.

Iphigenia Alby was circling the group talking at the front of the classroom, looking like she wanted to interrupt so she could talk to Dumbledore. However, she didn't seem to have to the guts, and kept shooting horrified looks at the crazed Fang.

After one particularly loud bark, she fled the room entirely, muttering something about 'Grims'. That may or may not have given Remus an idea for a dare, but that shall not be mentioned until later.

"This is brilliant," James whispered, not worried about being heard due to the huge racket.

"I know," exclaimed Hestia. "I am a genius."

"I know you said you were going to take the credit…" said Sirius, "But the whole thing was my idea in the first place."

"You only gave me the _idea_, I'm the one who came up with all the awesome pairings."

"Oh, shush, the both of you," said Lily.

"You never let us have a decent conversation," sighed Sirius. "What does it take?"

"Patience," Lily replied. "Lots of patience."

"Shhh," hissed Remus. "I think they might be working it out!"

"Ready for the prank?" asked Hestia, smirking (not that they could see her mouth but they all knew she was smirking due to the tone of her voice.)

"Did it get the James stamp of approval?" asked Frank.

"Oh yeah," said James. "I like it."

"That makes me a little worried," said Alice.

Then Remus shushed them again, because Dumbledore had started talking.

"Settle down!" he called. "Everyone, stop moving!"

Everyone did so.

"It would seem that we have ourselves in a situation," he said. "First I would like to sort something out. Everyone, stand next to whoever sent you a letter."

Everyone started moving again. Except Filch. He stayed on the rafter.

"Stop!" Dumbledore called again.

Everybody did so.

Except Hagrid, who finally pulled Fang over to the wall and tied him to one of the torch brackets. That meant Filch could finally come down, levitated by Madame Pince. Although how he had managed to get up there in the first place was a mystery.

"Clearly that is not going to work," sighed Dumbledore. "We'll start with Iphigenia, as she has already left. Who received a letter from her? Septima? Alright, you come up here, stand there… who received a letter from Septima?"

As it turned out, Sprout had received a letter from Professor Septima Vector, seeming to feel the same way about her letter as Slughorn did his. Hagrid received one from Sprout. Slughorn from Hagrid. Pomfrey from Slughorn. Filch from Pomfrey, and so on. This meant that Dumbledore had them forming a circle around the room, with the two ends being himself and Professor Vector, as Alby was supposed to be between them.

"Well, it seem that solves our problem," he said. "None of us sent these letters, and yet we have all received one."

"Clearly we've been pranked," huffed McGonagall. "I knew it. Those seventh years-"

"So it's Gryffindors behind this, then!" exclaimed Slughorn.

"There is no proof that it was my Gryffindors," muttered McGonagall.

"Ah, Minnie," sighed Sirius. "Trying so hard to be loyal even when she's angry at us."

"Hestia," whispered James. "Now."

"Oh yes," she said, pulling her wand out and pointing it at Dumbledore's hand. Then she muttered an incantation, before redirecting her wand to the space between Dumbledore and Vector's hands and muttering another.

Each of the teachers suddenly felt a spark, like a small shock of electricity in their hands. They also felt like they were being pulled in slightly, like their circle was being made smaller…

Then they realised.

They were all holding hands.

But not only that - they couldn't let go.

"Amazing," hissed Sirius, grabbing Hestia and placing a sloppy kiss on her mouth. "You're bloody brilliant."

"That's not even the best part," Hest giggled.

"It's alright!" Dumbledore shouted over the noise. "This is a simple charm!"

"Indeed!" exclaimed Flitwick. "All it needs to be undone is water."

"But there is no water in here!" growled Slughorn, "And none of us can reach our wands because our hands are otherwise occupied."

"We'll have to go to the nearest bathroom," said Dumbledore, suddenly sounding oddly cheerful. Well, he always did enjoy a good prank.

Buckleberry seemed to agree.

"This is a remarkable idea," he was muttering. "If we find out who is behind this I will have to congratulate them."

"We know who is behind this," huffed McGonagall.

"I thought you said it wasn't Gryffindors," said Buckleberry, smirking.

"Gryffindor really can't afford to loose any more points," added Slughorn. "You know… not that they have any points. Are they still in the negatives?"

Minerva thought it best to remain silent.

A couple of minutes later and the eight Gryffindors that Minerva was thinking up punishments for were all treated to the sight of every staff member in the school (bar Alby and the house-elves) attempting to get out of the classroom whilst connected. This meant that they had to go through the door two at a time due to their being in a circle, and they had much difficulty navigating the hallways.

Many patrolling prefects and late-night wanderers got a bit of a shock that night.

The stairs were particularly difficult to navigate, especially when one set decided to move when only three quarters of the teachers were on it. Luckily, the rest managed to jump the gap. _  
><em>

But, eventually, they made it to the third floor bathroom and stuck their hands under the sink. Then they slunk away in different directions, all trying to wipe the incident from their minds.

Except for Buckleberry, who recorded the idea in his mind for later use at the next boring family dinner.

* * *

><p>"Well," said Alice as the eight of them left the third floor. "That was <em>amazing<em>."

"And brilliant!" exclaimed Sirius.

"All the teachers are going to be horrific in the morning, though," muttered Remus.

"Not just in the morning, we have astronomy tonight," said Frank.

"Great."

"Yeah, I didn't forget about that," said Peter. "My dare is going to be traumatic."

"Tell me about it," groaned Lily.

"Hey Pads?" said James.

"Yeah?"

"You forgot to go to detention again."

"Damn it!"

"I'd go now if I were you... pretend you were waiting in McGonagall's office the whole time. If you take enough short cuts you should beat her there."

"Good idea. See you later guys!"

* * *

><p>"So… what do we do now?" asked Frank, collapsing on one of the couches in the common room.<p>

"I'm going to sleep for a couple of hours," sighed Lily. "I have a feeling I'm going to need it. The Game pauses when someone is in detention, remember?"

"Yeah, but the duration of his detention is going to be a bit touch and go, I think," said James.

"What do you mean?" asked Alice.

"McGonagall's going to be real angry at him right now. That's either going to mean that he gets an extra long detention or she'll just want to get rid of him and make it super short."

"I'm betting that she'll send him away now and just give him hell next week," said Peter.

"No way," said Remus. "She's going to hand him off to another teacher. Most likely Filch."

"No, she's too angry to think that clearly."

"You don't know her like I do."

"Being a prefect isn't exactly an advantage in this situation. She doesn't get that angry with you guys… not in that situation anyway."

"Yeah, but having to do more detentions with her than you _is_."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Lily. "Remus, you've done more detentions than Peter?"

"Well yeah," said Remus. "Peter can pretty much get his way out of anything. He used to be a real smooth talker, but the professors caught on to him before we were even half way through first year. But he's really good at just slipping away in tight situations."

"Being able to suddenly become three inches long plus tail is a really good way to play hide and seek," said Peter.

"This whole situation is moot anyway," said James. "I have more detentions under my belt than the both of you put together."

"Only because you and Padfoot decided to make it a bloody competition between the two of you," said Remus.

"Point still stands!" exclaimed James.

"Why the hell would you make it a competition?" asked Lily.

"You have no sense of fun," sighed James, shaking his head.

"Oh, you're really going to go there?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Have these past few days taught you nothing?"

"Oh yeah," said James. "I have learned many important things, one of the most prominent being that house elves are a whole lot more solid than they look."

"You are incorrigible."

"Which is a good thing of course," said James, nodding seriously. "I'm so perfect the way I am that any changes would just make me… imperfect."

"Unbelievable," groaned Lily.

"Still a good thing!" said James.

"I thought we were going to get some sleep," said Hestia, rubbing her forehead in annoyance. "Honestly, this might be our only chance. All the other detentions have been moved, remember?"

"Right," said Alice. "I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Me neither," said Frank. "I mean, I don't want to do any detentions on top of having to play The Game but the small breaks are nice."

"Best make the most of it then," said Remus. "Especially you Wormtail, and Lily. You're going to need the energy."

"Please," groaned Peter. "_Please_ stop reminding me!"

"But if you forget you'll get a chicken," sang Hestia, standing up and heading for her dormitory.

The only response was yet another disheartened groan.

* * *

><p>Professor Aurora Sinistra was <em>not<em> having a good day. Well, she supposed that the entire body of Hogwarts, students and staff were not having a good day. In fact, everyone was having a Very Bad Day.

But Aurora figured she took the cake.

You see, after the horrific events of that day (and they were horrific - Aurora swore her back was scraped raw after trying to squeeze through the doorway at the same time as Slughorn) most of the teachers had immediately retired to their rooms and fell asleep. But not her, because being the astronomy teacher she had the 'honour' of staying up every night (even on the weekends! Damn there being seven years at Hogwarts) for her classes during the night. Sure, she took naps during the day and she was used to it, but today was particularly trying.

Not to mention that she was very aware of the fact that Thursday (well, Friday mornings) was her seventh year NEWT class.

Including all the Gryffindors.

Not good.

But she wasn't going to simply ignore her class, so she trudged all the way up the tower. A little late due to her feelings of apprehension, but still on time. Only thing was the students had all arrived before her.

She heard the scream when she was one flight below the classroom. That was when she began to run.

When she opened the door, she found all of the students standing in the middle of the room, looking horrified.

Lily Evans was leaning out over the edge, tears running down her face, and she was _looking down_.

Terror clutching at her heart, Aurora took a few steps forward.

"Miss Evans?" she asked. "What is it?"

She didn't really want to know the answer.

"Professor," gasped Lily. "Professor, I'm so… he just… I didn't mean to, I _swear_, it really was an accident! I wasn't going to… it was just supposed to be a joke… harmless… but then… and I… but he… he…"

Aurora was routed to the spot, but somehow she managed to make her feet move. She walked to the railings, and she looked down.

The Astronomy Tower is very high, but you can still see the ground.

And there, lying at the base of the tower and covered in blood was the twisted, broken body of Peter Pettigrew.

* * *

><p><strong>The reactions to the Doctor Who episode were based on those of one my non-Whovian friends who watched it with me about a year ago (plus the magic-y stuff, of course.) Sorry if it was a bit confusing but I didn't want to put the transcripts in because many stories which do that are being taken down, and I don't want to risk this one.<br>**

**Acknowledgements:**

**~ _Looking For Something New_ suggested the love letter idea.  
><strong>

**~ _Uniquely X_ suggested Remus' truth about which Marauder he would rather make out with.**

**~ _To the TARDIS_ suggested both the basketball and the Doomsday ideas**

**~ _PenBeatsSword_ suggested Alice's book dare and Frank hugging Slytherins. **

**~ _the unbirthday girl_ suggested Lily write to a family member apologising for a dead pet**

**~ _Mimi-loves-llamas_ suggested that Remus get relationship advice**

**~ _Of All The Choices_ suggested someone (Sirius) wear socks on their hands and that someone (Peter) has to scream every time they heard a word (food). **

**~_Ava Tonks_ suggested the truth about living forever alone or dying early with friends**

**~ The last one is going to be an amalgamation of ideas from _MySecretXxX_ and _Blue Luver5000_. I won't say any more on the matter, but it will be continued at the start of the next chapter. **

**~Finally, loads of you said you wanted more Dumbledore and more Teachers. Here you have it. Also, there is more Dumbledore on the way.**

**Wow, some of those were old. Like, 2011 old. Oh well, proves I keep them, right? If I have missed anyone, please say. **

**And the Remus/Sirius thing is over. Feels like the end of an era. :'(**


	23. Jumps and a Big Plan

**GUYS GUYS GUYS look how many reviews! Oh my god I am so excited. This is the first time any of my stories have reached over 500. I LOVE YOU ALL. Special shout out though to **_**chaosshotgun**_ **the 500****th**** reviewer and also **_**Bob The Other Zombie**_** who gave me my new longest review at 1190 words (not even including the other 2 parts) so yeah. Thank you all!**

**This was meant to be longer. I cut it in half when I realized where the rest of Friday was going. Hence why it has taken so long for a not so satisfying chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own a certain song or the lyrics to that certain song which appears in this chapter. I still don't own The Lion King either.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

WAY TOO EARLY TO BE CONSIDERED FRIDAY: Jumps and a Big Plan

~o0o~

The Astronomy Tower is very high, but you can still see the ground.

And there, lying at the base of the tower and covered in blood was the twisted, broken body of Peter Pettigrew.

~o0o~

_A little while earlier_…

"I can't believe you're making me do this," Peter muttered. "This is just too much."

"Aw, come on Wormtail, don't be such a bore," said Sirius, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "It'll be fun!"

"No it won't."

"Just 'cause you're scared of heights-"

"There's no 'just 'cause' about it, Padfoot - I _am_ scared of heights and that should be enough to get me out of this! Why am I the only one who has to do the life threatening dares?"

"Hey, I'm the one who hung McGonagall from a chandelier by her tail."

"That was all you, though. You weren't dared to do that. And I doubt McGonagall would ever kill you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. You should have seen her face when I turned up for detention earlier-"

"Guys," interrupted Lily. "Are we going to do this or not?"

At that moment, Sirius smiled and grabbed a mirror out of his pocket. When he had first shown it to Lily half an hour earlier she made some comment about him fixing his hair, but now she had to admit it was kind of ingenious. Even though they had the parchment now, this method was quicker and more practical. You didn't need something to lean on, after all.

"Ready Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"Ready," James replied through the mirror. "Moony's done his thing and I've got all the tramps in position. Moony is on his way up now. I've got my broom ready."

"Awesome," said Sirius. "See Pete? Nothing to worry about. We have two fail safes in position for you."

"Only two?" asked Peter worriedly.

"I have a feeling this is going to go wrong," muttered Frank.

"Yeah, I think I want to just go and hide now," said Hest.

"Nope," said Lily, "You guys have to keep the others away from the ledge. If they see what is _really_ going on it will ruin the image."

"I feel kind of sorry for Sinistra right now," sighed Alice. "She hasn't had a great day."

"Neither have I!" Peter exclaimed. "Feel sorry for _me_!"

"Well _I _think it's going to be hilarious," said Sirius.

"Of course you do," groaned Hestia.

"Anyway, Moony is almost there," said Sirius, looking at the map. "He'll be in position in about one minute. Sinistra is about five minutes away. Positions, everyone!"

Peter was shaking, but maybe that was a good thing. It made it more believable. Most of the class was on the top of the tower by now, but none of them thought anything of it as Peter approached the outside wall and looked over the edge.

"Peter!" Lily called, gaining some attention as she quickly walked over to him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," said Peter, "Just wondering how high this thing is."

"Very," said Lily. "You don't have to lean over to see, you know. You could just look it up in _Hogwarts, a History._"

"Maybe. But it's more fun this way," said Peter. "It is very high."

"Oh yes," said Lily. "Do you know what would happen if you fell? It's high enough that you would reach terminal velocity - don't worry, it's a Muggle word - and then on impact you would-"

"I don't want to know," said Peter, holding up a hand.

"Well, you'll find out if you lean over any further."

"I'll be fine," said Peter, turned back to look down to the ground. A couple of the class were watching them, but no more than that (not including the Gryffindors.) It wasn't like they were doing anything attention grabbing.

Lily sighed and made to walk back to where Hestia and Alice were chatting between shooting glances at Peter. But before she did so, she looked back. Peter was leaning over even further, so far his feet were no longer touching the ground.

"Do you have a death wish?" she asked. Peter didn't hear. "Right," Lily muttered to herself. "Idiot. Maybe if I gave him a scare…"

_She didn't mean to hurt anyone. She was only going to walk forward and do the whole grabbing thing with a '_Ha! Saved your life!_' like she remembered doing to Petunia when they'd visited the Eiffel Tower as kids. _

_She didn't mean to push as hard as she did. She didn't realise Peter was leaning over quite that far._

As Peter fell forward over the edge, Hestia let out a scream.

Lily quickly looked down, being sure not to lean over as far as Peter had. As there, below her, she could see him.

"Peter!" she screeched. "Oh my God!"

He was lying on the suspended trampoline four feet down.

"Merlin," he huffed quietly, "That was horrible."

"Get going," James hissed, pulling his broom up just below where Peter was sitting. "Sinistra will be up in a moment, Pads said she was only one flight of stairs down!"

Peter took a big gulp of air before getting to his feet, keeping crouched down so the others couldn't see him. Then he jumped once more, landing on the second trampoline, before bouncing once again down to the next. All the way down was a set of trampolines arranged like a staircase, allowing Peter to safely land on the ground which had been softened earlier by Remus' cushioning charm. James stayed below Peter the whole way, ready to catch him if he fell. The cushioning charm was really just for in case he missed.

Remus, who was hidden, disillusioned, in one of the windows in the astronomy tower, vanished the trampolines after Peter was done with them.

Once Peter was on the ground, he quickly went to the base of the tower - the spot Remus had marked out with a small 'x', having figured out where he would have landed by using maths or something - and then lay on the ground, twisting one arm behind him awkwardly and bending his legs to the side. Then James dumped a whole lot of tomato sauce over him before flying back up and joining the class unnoticed - it was easy to get behind them since they were all facing the same direction.

Sinistra was already there. They had timed it _perfectly_.

"Professor," Lily was gasping, tears streaming down her face. "Professor, I'm so… he just… I didn't mean to, I _swear_, it really was an accident! I wasn't going to… it was just supposed to be a joke… harmless… but then… and I… but he… he…"

The look of horror on Sinistra's face would have been priceless if it wasn't so, you know, genuine.

Hestia was quite amazed by Lily's acting skills, but at the same time she was a little worried. Maybe they should have protested this dare a little more… sure, the trampoline thing was awesome but this?

Too late now.

"Miss Evans," said Sinistra, her voice wavering a little. "I need you to take a deep breath, calm down. Miss Jones, Miss Prewett, the both of you head down to the hospital wing _immediately_ and get Madame Pomfrey. Mr Boot, Miss Bones, I need the two of you to go and get Professor Dumbledore. Mr Longbottom, Mr Potter, you go and get Professor McGonagall. All of you need to hurry, now, quickly!"

Then Sinistra leant out over the wall again just to see if-

Peter was no longer there.

"Wait!" Sinistra called. Then she jumped down herself.

"Oh Merlin," whispered Alice. "We've driven her to her death."

"No!" exclaimed Amelia Bones who had also leant out over the edge. "She's just levitating herself down, look!"

"Man, that sure beats the stairs," said Sirius quietly. Luckily, no one heard him or they might have thought him incredibly cold. One of his friends had just pitched off the astronomy tower, after all.

The class was very confused, upset and worried. Sinistra was no longer in their line of sight as Peter's body had disappeared, and she'd clearly wandered off to find it. They just sat there on top of the tower in silence, unable to bring themselves to even chat. Even the few Slytherins were silent.

It was almost an entire hour before anything happened. Some of the students were beginning to consider leaving, but before they could the door slammed open and through it came Professor Sinistra, dragging a still rather red and sticky Peter behind her by the ear.

Literally. She was holding his _ear_. It looked painful.

"Peter..?" Lily gasped, standing up from where she had curled herself into a ball. "But… I thought-"

"Mr Pettigrew was not very impressed with your 'joke', Miss Evans," said Professor Sinistra, flames coming out of her nose and smoke pouring out of her ears. (Okay, not really, but it was pretty close.) "He seemed to think it would be _funny_ if he got a bit of revenge by making you think you had killed him!"

"That's cruel!" Amelia cried out. Then she suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth. But Sinistra merely said;

"Indeed."

"Peter, I didn't mean it!" Lily cried. "I am so sorry, like you wouldn't believe. It's just that you were leaning so far out I was afraid you'd fall, and I thought maybe if I scared you you'd lean back in. But then, I pushed too hard and-"

"Self-fulfilling prophecy," Alice whispered. She didn't expect to be heard, but Lily nodded in her direction, even if that wasn't entirely accurate. Oh well, there were only a couple Muggleborns amongst them.

"Exactly."

"Still," Sinistra fumed. "Faking your own death is not acceptable, Mr Pettigrew. Not ever, not for any reason. You near killed _me_ with your little act. Once you had levitated yourself to the ground you should have immediately informed those above that you were okay, and under no circumstance do you cover yourself in fake blood and pretend to be dead."

"I'm sorry," Peter squeaked. "I had a lapse in judgement."

"That is obvious," Sinistra growled. "You can be certain that both Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall will be hearing about this, including your involvement, Miss Evans."

Lily's eyes widened.

"Yes, Miss Evans. I think you are in for a world of trouble."

"A world of _pain_," muttered Sirius, looking up to the sky. "It's 'you're in for a world of _pain_'. Get it right, for the love of Merlin."

Luckily, he wasn't heard.

Sinistra went on to explain that they could all now go back to their dormitories as the class was long over, but that they would have to cover all of today's material on their own and would have to hand in an extra essay the next week. The students all groaned and shot dirty looks at Peter - the next week was the last before the holidays, and they had all been hoping for a respite from all the work.

After that, the professor ushered them all back onto the staircase before slamming the door shut and locking it behind her. Then she all but ran away.

"Well, that was eventful," sighed Frank as they all began to descend. "But now…"

"You're not going to be able to sleep?" asked Hestia. "Because I know I'm not."

"I was going to say something more along the lines of 'Peter and Lily are in big trouble', but whatever floats your boat," said Frank, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, but I think Hest is right," said Alice. "After that I'm all hyped up-"

"You didn't even do anything!" exclaimed Remus.

"I just want to stay awake and jump about randomly," continued Alice, ignoring him. "Don't you guys ever get the urge to do that at one AM?"

"More like three," sighed Hestia. "So long as I have coffee."

Alice nodded in agreement.

"Then why don't we?" asked Sirius.

"What?" Lily's head snapped to him, an ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach. "If you are suggesting what I think you are…"

"Oh, I am," he said, a grin slowly emerging on his face, eyes sparkling.

"I second that!" yelled James, ignoring the suddenly '_shush'_-ing portraits.

"I don't even know what you're going on about," huffed Frank.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Remus.

"Um, no."

"They want to pull an all nighter," said Peter, also grinning. "Have some fun and mess around, firing off dares non stop until morning. Then we'll be all loopy tomorrow - well, later today I guess - which will make everything all that more exciting."

"I do _not_ see how being tired makes things more exciting," said Lily dryly.

"Oh, you'll see," said James, practically bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Well, if we're going to do this," sighed Alice…

_Peter, T or D? -A_

_D. -P_

_Go steal us some awakening potion from the hospital wing. Enough for all of us to happily stay awake all night. -A_

"Great idea, Alice," said Lily as Peter scampered off. "That'll help."

"Hoped you'd like it, I did just use up my dare after all."

"Well, I suppose this kind of ruins the loopy thing," sighed James. "But it'll still be fun. I can't believe we haven't done this yet!"

"I can't believe we're doing it now," groaned Remus. "Couldn't we have at least done it Friday night, when we didn't have classes the next day?"

"But that's half the fun!" yelled Sirius. "This is going to be _awesome!_"

When the rest of Hogwarts woke up, they did _not_ agree. But we'll talk about that later.

* * *

><p>You hear stories of people breaking out of hospitals all the time, and that's true for both the Muggle and Wizarding world.<p>

Well, we say stories, because you don't hear about it so much on the news. It might well happen, but we all know the hospitals would never own up to it. But anyway, the point is all the books and (in the Muggle world, at least) movies make it seem so easy. Just time your escape to when the nurses are changing shifts and either jump into the elevator just as the doors a closing, run full speed at the front entrance with a wheelchair, tie a couple of blankets together to form a rope (if you are not too severely injured), steal an ambulance _or_ find a loose section of the ceiling or even just escape out the air vents.

Well, okay, so they don't make it look easy. But they make it look doable, and with magic it should be about a hundred times easier, right?

Wrong.

Especially in Hogwarts, because there is only one entrance to the hospital wing. The windows are kept closed and when they're opened for air they only open about four inches. So they're a no go. The ceiling is way too high to reach (since brooms are a little conspicuous) and even if you could it's just solid stone. The one set of doors are thick wood, they creak really loudly when they open and when they're closed not even a fly could get through the non-existent space between the doors, let alone a rat.

When the Marauders had first discovered this, they had been horrified. There wasn't a single secret passageway. Not one.

So when Alice gave Peter the dare, maybe she thought it would be easy. Something real quick to do and then use the potions to stay awake during the night. Because the Marauders could do something like get in and out of the hospital wing in a flash, right?

Wrong again.

Peter couldn't use his animagus form, both due to the door thing and also because, well, have you tried carrying multiple glass flasks (at least eight of them) of liquid all roughly the same size as you while trying to calmly escape a hospital? No, you haven't, but if you had you would know it's very hard. Especially when you don't even have opposable thumbs.

So this was going to be hard.

Getting in was the easy part. He told Madam Pomfrey that he had tripped and hit his head on a banister - luckily the story of the Astronomy lesson had not yet reached her ears - and the fact that he was still covered in splotches of tomato sauce might have worked in his favour. She wasn't even suspicious that he was awake thanks to him having Astronomy. Well, either that or she was just too stressed to be suspicious.

She was awake because of the masses of students in the hospital wing due to the events of the past few days. She had to be on constant watch for some of them, for while they weren't extremely serious injuries several of them had concussions and needed to be woken up every so often (even with magic no Healer would want to risk tampering with the brain for something so simple as a concussion when it was easily treated through other means. Only the more serious ones were treated with magic) and this had the added bonus of Madam Pomfrey needing to _stay_ _awake_.

Which meant that the cabinet containing the awakening potion down the end of the room was unlocked and open.

Now he just had to get it.

It couldn't be too hard, right?

Yep, you guessed it.

_Famous last words._

After he had walked in, Pomfrey left him be while she went to administer the hourly potion for some Hufflepuff who had sprouted tentacles during the fight on Tuesday and was yet to be rid of them. The moment she was distracted he slipped off his bed and went to the cabinet, then began filling his pockets with bottles of the stuff. Once he thought he had enough, he quickly began to walk back to his own bed…

"What are you doing, Mr Pettigrew?"

But not quickly enough.

"I… erm… I just wanted to see if Thomas was okay," he said, gesturing to the Ravenclaw lying on the bed next to him who _luckily_ was a seventh year. "I mean, I noticed he wasn't in class today and I was worried because he was fine yesterday-"

"He broke a rib after colliding with Mr Avery this morning in the Entrance hall," said Pomfrey stiffly. "I could have had it sorted in a jiffy, but with all these other children injured… But he will be out by morning."

"Oh, good," said Peter. "I'll just… be going then."

"I think not, Mr Pettigrew. I haven't looked you over yet."

"Right. Well, I don't think I have any broken bones because it doesn't hurt enough for that, but my head is very sore-"

Pomfrey quickly began to prod at his scalp, causing Peter to wince, worried she'd realised he was lying. But as it turned out the wince only served to make Pomfrey believe he _had_ hit his head, so she forced him to stay in a chair while she scurried off to the office to retrieve what ever it was she needed to fix his head.

This might have been a good opportunity to escape if she hadn't used a sticking charm to force Peter to stay in the chair. She may have been stressed but she retained enough sense to remember it was a Marauder she was dealing with.

She was back in a couple of seconds with a horrid potion to force down his throat and some sort of compression pack to hold against his head, then told him to report back in the morning on pain of being tied to a bed for twenty four hours.

"Good," said Peter. "So can I go?"

Poppy was a little affronted. But as mentioned before, she knew she was working with a Marauder, and they always were difficult when it came to the hospital wing. But then she remembered Minerva's suspicions from earlier that evening, and had an idea.

Yeah, she was stressed. But all the more reason to blow off a little steam, right?

She wouldn't be over stepping her bounds. It was clear Pettigrew was lying about how he had come to have that bump on his head and the blood was obviously not blood, so really…

"Not quite yet, Mr Pettigrew," said Poppy. "I haven't finished checking you over."

"But you said my head was fine so long as I came back in the morning!"

"Oh yes. But falling down the stairs is a risky business and it is possible you are injured somewhere else without realising."

"Maybe," Peter allowed. Poppy smiled. He didn't even realise his story hadn't matched.

"Then Mr Pettigrew, please remove your clothes," she said, smiling sweetly. "I need to check your skin for bruising and any unusual swelling."

"I… what?" asked Peter, eyes wide. Surely she couldn't mean…

"You heard me. Now strip!"

* * *

><p>"Wormtail, are you alright mate?" asked Sirius, watching as Peter sat down beside him in the empty classroom. "You look a little spooked."<p>

"More than a little," said Lily. "I'd say you look like you saw a decapitated ghost that asked you about the weather but that really wouldn't be-"

"Is it harassment if a nurse asks you to remove your clothing?" asked Peter suddenly.

"Whoa, what?" asked James.

"I… don't think so," said Remus. "After all, she is a nurse-"

"What did you do?" asked Alice.

"Nothing!" exclaimed Peter.

He was met with seven disbelieving looks.

"Well, I did do what you asked," he added, pulling the vials out of his robes. "By the way, do you have any idea how hard it was to strip down in front of her and not let her realise I had these? That was at least half the reason why it was so traumatising!"

"Oooh, big word," said Sirius.

"Traumatising isn't really a big word," said James.

"It's a lot of letters. It _traumatises _me."

"Maybe Wormtail was so traumatised that it affected his brain."

"Please tell me he isn't turning into Moony. I can only just handle one of him."

"Maybe he isn't turning into Moony, maybe he's just mutating into a Ravenclaw."

"Because, of course, we all know that Ravenclaws are secretly lab experiments created by evil whatsimacallits in their basement and that's why they're super smart."

"But not just super smart, _weirdly_ smart, you know, like how they actually seem to enjoy work. At least Moony understands that the definition of an essay is not F-U-N -"

"Okay guys, I think you can stop there," said Hestia.

"By the way, I think the whatsimacallit you were thinking of is a scientist," whispered Alice. "You know, puffy hair, thick moustache, Russian accent-"

"That's Albert Einstein, and he was _German_," said Lily. "But seriously, can we move on now?"

"And if you say anything Sirius, I swear I will pour bubotuber pus down your throat," growled Frank.

Sirius sadly closed his mouth. Why did everyone hate that pun? It was a _great_ pun.

"Okay, so was I right?" asked Peter. "Is it harassment?"

"I vote no," said James, sticking his hand up in the air.

"Me too," said Sirius. "Poppy is too awesome to be fired under harassment charges."

"That's not what I-"

"Wormtail said 'not'," said Sirius, looking to James.

"Mr Prongs believes that sounds like a negatory vote."

"Mr Padfoot agrees."

"Marauders vote has been called, three to whatever Mr Moony's vote happens to be and therefore it was not harassment. Wormtail pass the potion and then give out our dare!"

"Did that sound vaguely like 'pass the drugs' to you?" Hestia whispered to Lily.

"Oh please don't start thinking like that," groaned Lily. "This is an awakening potion."

"Yeah, but did you know awakening potion can be addictive?" asked Sirius. "And if you become addicted you loose the ability to dream and then your eyes melt."

"Really?" asked Peter, eyes wide. "But then why-"

"That's simply a myth spread by teachers to discourage the use of awakening potion during exam periods for extra study time. It might keep you awake but should not be used instead of sleep over long periods as your brain does actually need the rest and _that's_ when it becomes dangerous," said Lily, rolling her eyes. "Didn't any of you do the reading when we made the potion in class last year?"

The others looked down guiltily. Even Remus. Hey, it was a full moon that week.

"You're telling me that everything I knew was a lie?" asked Sirius, gaping. "But I thought… THIS MEANS WE COULD HAVE DONE THIS MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR!"

"Did you not get the 'dangerous' part?" asked Frank.

"Are you kidding me? I laugh in the face of danger, HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Okay, no more potion for you," said Remus, taking the now empty vial from Sirius' hands as he broke out into a loud rendition of '_The Circle of Life'_. "Anyone else?"

"Awakening potion should not have this effect…" said Lily, narrowing her eyes at Sirius who had stopped singing and was now balancing his wand on his nose.

"No," said Remus, "That's just Padfoot. He believes that it _should_ give that effect so he just stops suppressing his natural urges to be mad whenever he takes it."

"You mean he's naturally madder than usual?" asked Alice. "Remus, you just made me scared for my life."

"You know I can hear you right?" asked Sirius, swinging his head around and causing his wand to clatter to the floor. "Aw man, I was going for the record! Hey Frank, want a competition? Or are you too busy protecting your girlfriend?"

"Oh, she can protect herself just fine," said Frank. "That's not what I'm worried about."

"Then what is?"

Frank just smirked.

"Peter, please save us," sighed Hestia. Peter looked confused for a moment before he understood.

_Sirius, T or D? -P_

_Oh, good call, get rid of some of that energy would you? -R_

_ DAREDAREDAREDARE-S_

_Go and sing that song whilst standing the middle of the Slytherin common room.-P_

_But they'll be all asleep by now! Man, what sort of a dare is that? -J_

_But that's the point.-P_

_Ah, good one. -H_

_Good what? -A_

_Alice, they'll be asleep. -H_

_Oooh, but they won't be for long. -A_

_Exactly. -P_

_Oh. Okay, smart. -J_

_And what song am I meant to be singing? -S_

_You know. _That_ song. -P_

_Wait a second -R_

_Do you mean -J_

_He can't be -R_

_No -J_

_Oh yes -P_

_I really hope I'm on the same page as you guys because if I get in there and start singing the wrong song… -S_

_Oh don't worry. I'm fairly certain your on the same page. -J_

_*You're. -L_

_Nazi. -A_

_And proud. -L_

_But we learned about the Nazis in Muggle studies, I thought they were… not very nice people. -F_

_You could say that. -L_

_So why would you be proud? -F_

_Different kind of Nazi. -A_

_And the explanation is stopping there or we will be here all night. What I was going to say is do any of you guys know what they're going on about? -L_

_Nope. -H_

_Not a clue. -A_

_I think I might know -F_

_Frank! Yes, of course you know. -R_

_Merlin, and here I was hoping I was wrong. -F  
><em>

_But how are we sure you know? -J_

_Did you verify it? -S_

_Did you actually say out loud what you were thinking? -J_

_None of us are legilimens you know -S_

_You could be wrong. -J_

_Fourth year, just after Halloween. One word (or is it two?) - a cappella. -F_

_Okay, he knows the song. -P_

_Oh good, we are all on the right page. -J_

_Dude, I thought we agreed to never speak of that again. -S_

_Wait, you're not expecting me to a cappella are you? -S_

_You guys a cappella? Really? The Marauders are a boy band? -A_

_**NO**__ -RJSRPJSJPPRSPJJJSR_

… _-A_

_Guys I think you broke the parchment -H_

_Well at least we know how they feel on the matter. -L_

_Anyway Padfoot, no. Just sing the lyrics, for Merlin's sake. -P_

_Yeah, no need to scramble the brains of the poor unsuspecting Slytherins any more than necessary. -F_

_Hey! -S_

_So, are you good? -F_

_Actually… I have a request. -S_

_Oh? -H_

_I propose a rule change. -S_

_Pads, there is no way you are getting out of this one. -R_

_Oh no, I don't want to. You see… hmmm, hey Prongs, you remember what we were talking about last year? -S_

_We talk about a lot of things. -J_

_It was right after Moony's dare with the cotton tailed snargle puffs in the second floor girls bathroom. -S_

_THAT WAS _YOU_? -A_

_Whoa, whoa, ancient history. -S_

_NOT FOR ME IT ISN'T! -A_

_Um, oops? -R_

_Yeah, I remember. -J_

_So do I. Merlin, Remus you better watch out. Alice was feral after that. -H_

_Oooh I am so getting my own back now I know who to blame -A_

_Yeah, at the time she blamed James. -L_

_Was that why you threw a bucket of mashed potatoes over my head during Charms after that dare? -J_

_Oh yeah. Sorry. Next time I'll aim for Remus. -A_

_Anyway (Sirius Dog Sirius Dog) I would like to do my rule change now please. -S_

_Sure. Go ahead. -J_

_Oh good, you agree. -S_

_First can we go back over the original rules? I haven't actually looked at them in while. -L_

_Good idea. I can't remember what number we're on anyway. -S_

They all pulled out their second parchment and, skipping the _GENERAL OVERVIEW_ part, began to read.

_RULES_

_1. You cannot pick the person who picked you._

_2. You cannot play in teams; that is a different game._

_3. You cannot give a dare that includes being completely naked (unless it is a chicken.)_

_4. You cannot harm anyone other than a Slytherin or one who is on the Marauder hit list (such as Amos Diggory.)_

_5. You cannot _permanently_ change some-ones appearance or damage any property._

_6. For the duration of the game you can't tell anyone you are playing a game or doing a dare._

_7. Truths can't be repeated to any person not playing._

_8. You can't let anyone else see your parchment._

_9. You must complete (or at least start, if it is a long one) your dare within an hour of receiving it, unless it is a dare that can only be performed at a certain time, say, lunch, or if the darer says 'after classes finish' or something similar._

_10. You must wear your watch at all times._

_11. You must pick someone else within five minutes of your dare/truth ending._

_12. If someone is put in detention, the game pauses and the extra time is added to the end._

_13.__** RULES MAY BE ADDED IF THEY ARE PASSED BY A 75% MAJORITY**__. (Note from Sirius: for those of you who can't do that percentage in your head, with 8 people playing that's 6 people that must agree.)_

_14. The person doing the dare may take leave of the dare (if necessary) in order to dare another person or participate in another dare, but must then resume the previous dare as soon as possible._

_15. When giving a dare, the darer may present the victim with two options, and ask them _'would you rather_?' The victim must then pick one and do one. The two options must be similar yet different… i.e. would you rather eat large chocolate cake or a large waffle?_

_16. You must pick at least one truth for every five dares, and vice versa_

_17. Where if the victim has done his dare slightly incorrectly, or only partially, they do not get a chicken; they get given a normal dare from the darer. However, this dare does not have to be written on the parchment - it can be told verbally – and does not have to be told to the rest of the players. In fact, the victim and the darer MUST NOT tell any other players until the dare is completed, when all players must be informed._

_18. The darer may change the ending time of the dare if they have a majority vote (and I mean more than 50%) but they can only make it shorter – not longer._

"Oh Merlin," said Hestia, lifting her eyes from the parchment in horror.

"You see it too?" asked Lily.

"Oh yeah," said Alice. "We're screwed."

"What?" asked James.

"Look at the rules," said Lily, jabbing her finger at the parchment. "Look at them!"

"I see words," said Sirius, cocking his head. "Should there be more?"

"Both Lily and Sirius, as well as James and Peter have violated Rule 8," said Hestia.

"I'm fairly certain we have _all _violated Rule 11," said Lily. "And Hestia, I know for a fact that you took your watch off when you had a shower last night, and that violates Rule 10."

"Also we all inadvertently harmed a _lot_ of people during that fight on Tuesday, not to mention the ice skating this - yesterday morning," Alice pointed out. "Look at Rule 4."

There was a pause.

"Crap," said Remus.

"Okay guys, there's only one way to fix this," said James, a glint in his eye. Sirius gasped.

"You don't mean…"

"Oh I mean."

"Marauder _Protocol Thirteen_."

"Oh Merlin," groaned Peter. "This is _not_ going to be good."

"What is protocol thirteen?" asked Frank.

"_No_," whined Sirius, "You have to stress the words, we have to be able to _hear_ the capital letters. Come on, say it with me. Protocol Thirteen."

"Protocol thirteen?"

"Like you mean it!"

"_Pro_tocol _Thir_teen."

"That's more like it."

"So what is it?"

"Tell you later," said Remus. "Let's just get even first - Padfoot, say what you need to, do your dare, and then we'll move on."

_Okay, I propose RULE 19: the receiver of a dare may ask another person(s) to also participate in that dare so long as they participate in a dare of their aiders when asked, and they cannot refuse. They may only be forced into the same number of dares they asked aid in. -S_

_Does that make sense? -S_

_I… yeah, it does actually. Sort of. -A_

_Okay cool. Votes? -S_

_Aye. -J_

_I like it. Aye. -P_

_Me too. Aye. -R_

_Me not. This could be used against me. Nay. -H_

_I'm with Hest here. Nay. -F_

_But… But… you could use it against people if you're smart enough! I say Aye! -A_

_She's diabolical. -S_

_Now you see why I don't worry. -F_

_Yet you still open doors and pull out chairs for me… -A_

_It's courteous! What would my mother say if she knew I was doing anything less? -F_

_I am an independent woman! But I do kinda see your point. Your mother scares me. -A_

_Me too. -F_

_Okay, so it all comes down to Lily. -R_

_I think… that whatever song Sirius must singing has to be pretty good to garner this reaction and if it is a good one it would be more effective (not to mention louder) if James helped… so purely for the sake of _this_ dare I say Aye. -L_

_Yay! Rule passed with a 75% majority! Prongs, help me out? -S_

_I would say that I'd be glad too, but I'd be lying. -J_

_Aw, come on! It'll be fun! You know I'm gonna need back up. -S_

_What's this? Sirius Black asking for back up? -L_

_You have no idea what I'd be walking into. -S_

_Go on, James, think of all the stuff you can get him to do after this. Not to mention he won't give you a hard dare for fear that he'll have to help you on it! You can hold it above his head for an awful long time… -H_

_Okay. Fine. Deal. -J_

_YES! -S_

_THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME -S_

_WE ARE GOING TO NAIL THIS -S_

_WE ARE GOING TO BRING THE HOUSE DOWN WITH OUR AWESOMENESS -S_

_NOT TO MENTION OUR AWESOME SINGING SKILLS -S_

_Awesome singing skills? So you guys _are_ a boy band! -A  
><em>

_Oh for the love of Merlin -J_

_Stop being insulting -S_

_Us, a boy band? -P_

_Really Alice? -R_

_To even consider the possibility -S_

_We are so not -J_

_Can't even believe -S_

_Totally ridiculous -J_

_Stupid -S_

_Horrible -J_

_So unmanly -S_

_Exactly -J_

_We don't need to jump about wearing silly costumes and having floppy hair to have a fan club -S_

_Pads, your hair _is_ floppy. -J_

_Shut up. -S_

_Well it is! -J_

_Moony, is my hair floppy? -S_

_Guys, just go. -R_

_Betrayal. -S_

_GO! -R_

_Okay, okay. Sheesh. -S_

* * *

><p>"Can't believe he brought that up," muttered Sirius as he stalked through the hallways, his previous happiness all but gone. "Damn Frank, I thought we swore him into silence… thinking he was above Marauder law… I'll get him back or this, you'll see…"<p>

"I'll be right with you, mate," said James.

"Black! Potter!"

"Damn it," they both muttered.

"What are you two doing out here?"

"We're… hungry?" said Sirius.

Malcolm MacMillan, the Hufflepuff prefect from the sixth year walked towards them swiftly, a frown on his face.

"You know you should be asleep right now, guys."

"Well, yeah," said James, "But we kinda just came from astronomy - you can even check my timetable - and it was quite traumatic, honestly, ask anyone else in seventh year NEWT astronomy, and Pads and I were quite hungry so we thought we might just-"

"Astronomy finished over an hour ago, you should be back upstairs by now. Either way, going to the kitchens at this time of night is against the rules."

"Aw, come on MacMillan! Are you really going to take points of us?" asked Sirius.

"I should take you to a teacher to be given a detention."

"But you know there's a backlog and the teachers have been having a hard day-" started James.

"Yeah, no thanks to you and your friends! You don't think it's obvious, everything that's been going on? It's clearly you guys, you _Marauders_, and yeah, okay, some people might find it funny but some of us are actually invested in our future and want to well in school and all these distractions from our study-"

"You do realise exams are like six months away, right?" said Sirius.

"They are not! They are much closer than that, in fact-"

"Yeah, we don't really care," said Sirius.

"How dare-"

"But think of it this way," Sirius interrupted. "Do you know who is winning the house cup right now?"

"Ravenclaw."

"Do you want those snakes to get it _again_?" Sirius exclaimed, not noticing James' facepalm. "Look, I'm pretty sure I could swindle a couple of points towards the Huffle- what, MacMillan?"

"Ravenclaw is in the lead by almost a hundred points… you were saying?"

"Ooookay, new tack. Look, Gryffindor is in the negative points right now, and I know its our fault, it really is. But should the rest of Gryffindor house suffer for our foolishness?" asked Sirius. "Do you have the heart to make them suffer even more? Think of those little eleven year olds enjoying their first year at Hogwarts. Imagine how horrified they'll be if they have to go home and tell their parents that Gryffindor was in the _negatives_… they'll think it was their fault, because Gryfffindor had never been in the negatives until they came to the school."

"He's right, you know," said James. "What other conclusion could they come to? If you take points of me now… that will be more points for us to earn back, but it will strongly lower morale and therefore it will greatly decrease the chances that we break zero."

MacMillan's frown had softened slightly and Sirius, spotting his chance, plowed forward.

"Do you really want all those crying children on your conscience? Because they will be - if you take those points from me it will be on your head. Those poor children. Traumatised. Unable to show their faces in civilised society ever again. Tears streaming down their faces, their eyes red and puffy as they realise what a _disappointment_ they have been…"

"Come on now," said James, shaking his head sadly. "Is that really in the spirit of Hufflepuff?"

Five minutes later and the two of them stopped outside the door of the Slytherin common room.

"Lineage," James whispered. The wall slid across, and they were in.

Sirius had always thought the Slytherin common room was a bit gloomy, but at the same time he could see the appeal. It was warmed from the fire but not stuffy like the Gryffindor common room could sometimes be, and the couches and arm chairs looked much less susceptible to moths. But the colour scheme and the general feel of the place reminded him way to much of Grimmauld Place for him to feel comfortable.

And, you know, the fact that it was the enemy's nest.

Thankfully, due to the late (early) hour it was currently completely empty, with just the few scattered quills and pieces of parchment to indicate that some late night study had taken place. But Sirius knew it wouldn't stay that way for long.

For all the 'exploring' the Marauders had done and all the pranks they had pulled, they had never actually been caught inside another common room before. But thing was, they were all so damn easy to get into. The passcode for the Hufflepuff common room never even changed and anyone could get into Ravenclaw if they figured out the riddle. That door knocker didn't discriminate, it just let in the smart people.

Well, it didn't discriminate between houses anyway. Just IQ.

Sure, Slytherin and Gryffindor were password protected but there were hundreds of people speaking that password every day - all you had to do was get into hearing range. Something that was incredibly easy when you have possession of an invisibility cloak.

It was what you did when you were actually in the room that was difficult, as they were almost always full of people and had no where to hide. That's why they always set their pranks to go off _after_ they left…

Until now.

This was going to be painful.

_It's okay. Breathe. This'll be over in approximately six minutes._

The two of them quickly cast shield charms about themselves (just in case) and then began to sing.

Loudly.

In high pitched voices.

"_Is this the real life?" _sang Sirius.

"_Is this just fantasy?"_ sang James.

_"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.  
>"Open your eyes,<br>"Look up to the skies and see…" _Sirius trailed off.

_"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy," _James raised his voice as he realized no one was stirring upstairs._  
><em>

"_Because I'm easy come, easy go" _sang Sirius_,  
>"Little high, little low."<br>_

"_Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me…" _sang James.

"_Mama_," yelled Sirius, completely out of tune already,_ "Just killed a man!  
>"Put a wand against his head<br>"mm-vada mm-davra, now he's dead!"_

_"Mama" _James yelled louder_, "life had just begun,  
>"But now I've gone and thrown it all away."<em>

_"Mama, oooooo-" _Sirius paused as he heard a crash from upstairs and glanced at James, who gestured for him to keep going.

"They're waking up!"

"I know! But the sooner we're done, the sooner we can leave. Just go!"

Sirius nodded, and started up again, in even worse tune than before as without the lines before he didn't know quite how the song went.

"_Didn't mean to make you cry  
>"If I'm not back again this time tomorrow," <em>he sang, getting back into it._  
>"Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters."<em>

"_Too late_,"continued James, looking up as footsteps began to thunder down the stairs. _"My time has come  
>"Sends shivers down my spine<br>"Body's aching all the time."_

_"Goodbye everybody - I've got to go  
>"Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth."<em>

_"Mama, ooo -" _James belted_._

"_(Any way the wind blows)" _added Sirius

_"I don't want to die  
>"I sometimes wish I'd NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL!"<em>

"What is going on down there?!" came a yell.

"Crap," whispered Sirius.

"Stay loud," said James. "You know what'll happen otherwise."

Sirius nodded, took another deep breath, readying himself. James up next but then…

"_I see a little silhouette-o of a man_,_" _sang James._  
>"Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango"<em>

_"Thunderbolt and lightning - very, very frightening ME!_" Sirius all but screamed.

_"Gallileo!" _squealed James_._

"_Gallileo!" _yelled Sirius.

_"Gallileo!"_

"_Gallileo!"  
><em>

"_Gallileo, Figaro - magnifico!" _they both yelled.

At that moment, several Slytherins tumbled through the door. They all paused for a second, Gyffindors included, until one of the third years yelled out-

"What in Merlin's name are YOU doing here?"

"_I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me_,"James yelled, figuring he had nothing left to loose.

_"He's just a poor boy from a poor family," _Sirius yelled back._  
>"Spare him his life from this monstrosity!"<br>_

"POTTER!" shouted Avery, pushing through to the front and pulling out his wand. "BLACK! Both of you, out now! You have three seconds…"

"Yeah, or we'll get Professor Slughorn," said a second year, smugly crossing his arms. Avery snorted.

James sighed and said;

_"Easy come easy go - will you let me go?"_

"I- what?" asked Avery.

"Idiot," growled Snape, also coming forward.

_"Bismillah! No! We will not let you go!"_ shouted Sirius, starting to back away.

"Three…"

"_Let him go!"_ yelled James.

"Two…"

_"Bismillah! We will not let you go!" _ Sirius yelled again.

"One!"

"_Let him go!" _screeched James as he ducked under a boil hex and tripped over a foot rest. "For the love of Merlin-"

"Merlin can't help you now, Potter!" yelled Avery, firing off another jinx. "You better run!"

_"Bismillah! We will not let you go!" _ squealed Sirius, narrowly avoiding a bat-bogey hex as the rest of the Slytherins joined in. "Prongs, help!"

"I'm a little preoccupied at the moment!"

Sirius looked over to see he was right - James was caught in a head lock by a fifth year girl. It might have been funny if… you know, they weren't in so much trouble.

"_Let me go!"_ yelled James, sounding as if he'd used a sonorous charm.

"No!" the girl growled. "You came into-"

"Hey, that's my line!" exclaimed Sirius. _"Will not let you go! - _WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"

Sirius' charm sent the girl flying - literally - but unfortunately she still had a hold on James and he somehow ended up hanging from the chandelier.

"SIRIUS!"

"Sorry mate! - PROTEGO, STUPEFY, PERTIFICUS TOTALUS - DIFFINDO!"

In hindsight, the cutting charm was not a good idea. James landed on his head.

"_Let me go!" _he groaned._ "Never!"_

It wasn't exactly loud but Sirius took it, and in between dodging and sheilding and firing spells he yelled:

"_Never let you go!"  
><em>

"_Let me go!"_ James said, standing up and holding his head._ "Never let me go! - ooo"_

"_No, no, no, no, no, no, no!_"yelled Sirius as several more curses were sent James' way, and he quickly intercepted them with some shields. He figured they were lucky - in an attempt to not destroy their room the Slytherins were mostly only using non-damaging spells. However just as that though occurred to him a streak of white hot pain glanced across his cheek and Sirius turned to see an angry Severus Snape.

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" he yelled, smiling in satisfaction when Snape went down even as he felt the warm drip of blood down his face.

"Sirius!" exclaimed James. "Are you okay?"

"Fine! But keep going - the sooner we get out of here the better, I have no idea how a professor hasn't shown up already."

_"Oh Mama mia, Mama mia," _James shouted quickly, doing as Sirius said.

"_Mama mia! Let me go!" _Sirius continued. "_Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me!  
>"For me…"<em>

_"FOR ME..!" _They both yelled, simultaneously ducking a barrage of hexes and jinxes.

_"So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye, _EXPELLIARMUS!"

_"So you think you can love me and leave me to die_ - PROTEGO, Pads, watch out!"

"Thanks Prongs- _Oh baby - can't do this to me, baby."_

_"Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here!" _James jumped up onto a table as he sang blocking curses left and right.

"_Ooh yeah, ooh yeah,_" sang Sirius, jumping up to stand back to back with James.

_"Nothing really matters,"_ said James, "Except this- PERTRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

_"Anyone can see," _said Sirius. "Why are you not enjoying this? It's great, here let me help- RICTEMSEMPRA!"

_"Nothing really matters…" _

The two Gryffindors jumped down from the table.

_"Nothing really matters…"_

They started moving towards the door, no longer attacking and only using strong shield charms.

"_TO! ME!" _ They both cast one more shield and then turned and sprinted for the door. When they got there James pulled it open while Sirius turned to face the Slytherins.

"Well, this has been fun- Protego - thanks for listening! And for the record, you all look gorgeously disgusting in your jimmy-jams. Nighty night!"

And then door slammed behind them, leaving many irritated and several unconscious Slytherins behind them.

* * *

><p>"Man, you guys should a seen it," said Sirius, "Honestly, it was amazing. We should have recorded it and sold it to the WWN."<p>

"Keep dreaming," sighed Frank. "If it's the same as the _thing_ I had to endure every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night in the dorm during fourth year then I-"

"Oh no, it was much better than that," said Sirius. "Because Moony wasn't there."

"Hey!"

"Plus, I changed that bit about guns or whatever that none of us understood because it was Muggley. Moony told me what the thing was and I edited it. It was completely genius - Ouch, woman, what are you doing?"

"Because that's not arrogant at all," sighed Hestia.

"Sirius, move your head to the right a little, I can't reach this cut on your cheek," said Lily.

"Yeah, I know you can't, you're tugging is hurting me something awful!"

"Oh, boo hoo. Okay, hold still - _Episkey!_"

"Oh that's better, thanks Lil. Damn Snivellus and his horrid-"

"To be fair you were in their common room," said Alice. "_Singing_. I think that should allow them a little-"

"They're Slytherins!"

"James isn't all cut up," said Hestia. "Maybe he sings better than you."

"Or maybe he's more skilled at shielding charms," said James, earning a pillow to the face. "Seriously, though - this headache is all Sirius' fault."

"But now that we're all back can we talk about _Pro_tocol _Thir_teen?" asked Frank.

"Ah, music to my ears," sighed Sirius. "I can hear those capital letters shine… I have taught you well, young student."

"Whatever."

"Okay, but not out loud," said James. "Parchments, people!"

"Oooh, so it's a secret then?" asked Alice.

"A very secret secret," said Sirius.

"_Confidential_," said Peter smugly.

"You're right, his brain did fry," Sirius whispered to James.

"Sounds fun," grinned Alice.

"So… what is it exactly?" Hestia asked.

"Moony'd best explain, he's the best with words."

"What's this? The great Sirius Black, admitting that someone is-"

"Shut up, Hest."

"Rude."

"Just… go, Remus, please," groaned Lily.

"Fine," said Remus, pulling out his quill. "Brace yourselves…"

"Sounds ominous," said Frank.

Four of them looked down to their parchments and watched as Remus' neat handwriting began to scrawl across the page. As Remus wrote more and more, their eyes grew progressively wider and wider.

Meanwhile, Peter began to nervously bite his nails while Sirius and James exchanged looks of pure, evil glee.

But four pairs of eyes were stuck to the page long after Remus stopped writing.

"Oh. My. Merlin," was Hestia's first response. "You can't mean-"

"Oh yeah," said Sirius with undisguised delight that somehow made him look like the devil incarnate. "That is _exactly_ what we mean."

"But…" Lily gaped, trying to grasp that fact that this was really happening. "That would mean-"

"Yes it does," said James, almost bouncing up and down in fiendish excitement.

"But-" Frank started.

"Yep," said Sirius, his grin become impossibly wide.

"And then-"

"That's the one."

"Even if-"

"Doesn't matter."

Lily, Hestia and Frank stared at the three (not quivering in fear) Marauders in horror.

Alice smirked a smirk almost as diabolical as Sirius' evil-clown grin, and rubbed her hands together.

"Oh boy," she said, "This is going to be so much _fun._"

* * *

><p><strong>I know, I know. Another SPN quote. Sorry, couldn't resist that one. Also, I know this is short, but it is leading in to the rest of Friday and Friday is gonna be big. Yay!<strong>

**Acknowledgements:**

**~_Blue Luver500_ suggested jumping down from the astronomy tower on trampolines**

**~_MySecretXxX_ suggested someone go to the bottom of the tower with fake blood **

**~_Bob The Other Zombie_ suggested a performance of a certain song in the Slytherin common room**

**And as I am sure you know, the song is _Bohemian Rhapsody _by Queen. Raise your hand if you sang along!  
><strong>

**So there weren't many in this but like I said - don't stress. Friday is going to be big, and a load of you will get what you're waiting for. **


	24. SOMETHING STRANGE

**Okay, remember when I said I'd cut the last chapter in half? I've done it again. Mainly because I am going to Melbourne tomorrow (leaving at 4am and it's a 3 day drive - please, someone save me!) and I don't know if I'll have wifi there. So, heads up. This was kind of sudden, sorry for the short notice.**

**If I don't have internet, I'll just keep typing and barrage you with updates when I get back in January, okay?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the other multitudes of things referenced in this chapter. **

* * *

><p><strong>SOMETHING STRANGE<strong>

_Who you gonna call?_

No, seriously. There's something going on. The inhabitants of Hogwarts need help, ASAP. This is not a drill. I repeat, _this is not a drill._

Thanks for your cooperation.

* * *

><p>Whenever you read a book or watch a movie it always seems like every character has a life changing event. Frodo Baggins was given the One Ring. Dorothy went up in a tornado. Peter Parker was bitten by a spider and Snow White had a brutal attempt on her life by her step mother. Normal people don't tend to have these events. They just tend to go through life, changing gradually.<p>

But Tyler Mackenzie can remember the very _moment_ his life changed. It was quite easy really, because when that owl flew through the window it somehow managed to land on a fork and catapult a piece of bacon right onto his big sister's nose. Gina had screamed something hilarious that Dad had made her apologise for.

Since then, his life had been one big mess. Sure, the magic was awesome - just imagine never having to actually _look_ for the TV remote again! - but everything was just so weird. Honestly, why do all the guys have to wear clothes that look like dresses when you squint? And they hadn't even _heard _of Batman, for goodness sake.

However despite the coolness and the silly little cons, there was one thing that would not leave his mind since Professor McGonagall had transformed the family cat into a brand new hoover; if magic was real, then what else?

What about the demons from the bible that his Nana and Gramps kept warning him about? What about the boogeyman? Jurassic Park? Heffalumps and Woozles? Moving shadows that devoured human flesh or ancient mummies or the zombie apocalypse? For goodness sake, but what if _Jaws_ was real?

Tyler decided right then he'd never swim in the sea ever again.

Voicing this thought caused his Mum to berate his Dad for letting him watch such films but the way Tyler saw it, if he was old enough to go to a magic school on his own he was old enough to watch aliens burst out of peoples stomachs.

_But oh man, aliens! What if _aliens_ were real? ET phone home?_

He was eleven for goodness sake, not five. He was totally old enough to handle himself.

Which was why he knew he could handle exactly what the magic school had to throw at him. Self-steering boats? Sure. Ghosts? Well, they weren't even scary. Talking hat with telepathic abilities reminiscent of that of Prof. Charles Xavier? Done. He might have been a little disappointed to not be in the 'brave' house but if being in Hufflepuff meant he could have awesome friends like the Spock to his Kirk, then that was fine by him.

Especially once he was told that the Gryffindors were more like Han Solo while the Hufflepuffs were more like R2D2. Despite the argument that R2D2 should be in Ravenclaw both due to his smartness and his colour, most believed his loyalty was what made him brilliant. And Tyler would much prefer to be an awesome robot with the best sarcasm ever than the guy that got turned into a statue, even if Han was pretty cool.

All Tyler's friends complained about homework. And yeah, okay, writing essays was the worst form of torture ever invented since cliffhangers at the end of novels, but it was about magic! He was writing essays about magic! He wouldn't change who he was and what he was doing for anything!

Unless, of course, he got to be Iron Man. But that was different. Duh.

But the work wasn't the problem.

No.

The Castle was out to get him, he was sure of it.

There was no other possible explanation.

Once you've eliminated the impossible, what ever remains, however improbable must be the truth. That's what Gramps (not bible-but-he-gives-me-chocolate-cake Gramps (mum's dad) the other Gramps (dad's dad)) used to tell him.

There was no way the attacks were random. Doors that were fine the day before but now caused him to slam into a wall; trick steps that worked perfectly well for everyone else but seemed to sink away beneath his foot; suits of armor that happened to fall down right as he passed. Honestly, he had more bruises now than he had when he'd stolen Gina's diary.

It couldn't be a coincidence. _That_ was impossible. The whole place was trying to kill him, or at least make his life as difficult as possible.

At first the idea was great. He was like an explorer in a haunted castle, surrounded by the spirits of the undead. (Literally. There were ghosts every where.) It was his quest, his mission to navigate the uncharted corridors and come out the other end alive and on time for his classes.

But after his five hundredth time stuck on a staircase that decided to move, he wasn't so sure it was as fun as he thought. He really was covered in bruises, he'd had to go to Madame Promfrey for a broken nose one time he rounded a corner and bit fast and hit a trick step AND a trick door in one hit. He started to find it annoying. Barry Hodge, his friend from Ravenclaw who was a pureblood and so knew all about this stuff (or so Tyler thought anyway) helped him out a bit but it was still terribly frustrating. He'd tell himself it was a small price to pay to be able to do magic (and really, it _was_) but he began to understand that whole thing about more magic powers being a curse. He was pretty sure some super hero had said that, whether it was Spider-man or Superman or something else. Normal might be boring, but it least it was easy. Plus, you know, the availability of Marvel comics.

But then the past week everything suddenly got even _worse._

It was clear that the Gryffindors were all going mad, no matter what that seventh year had said about this time of year the other day. The Slytherins seemed to continuously change colour and randomly declare their love for the professors while the professors themselves grew more and more on edge. Not to mention that the house-elves spontaneously started ice skating in the Hall the day before.

Imagine that, elves! They looked nothing like Tolkien had described and they definitely got drunk a lot easier than Legolas did. (Or so he assumed, he never actually saw how much they drank but considering there were so many of them and the castle was not full floor to ceiling with bottles it was the only explanation.) Tyler's nerves were shot. He'd been sure he heard a T-Rex yesterday in the library but it only turned out to be Madam Pince.

But it didn't hurt to be prepared, right? Especially not since he'd decided everything was possible.

Still, that didn't mean that arriving at breakfast to find the staff table was completely empty and the Gryffindors were having a food fight wasn't a surprise.

"What's going on?" he asked, slipping into a seat beside his friend Millie Simmons.

"None of the teachers have arrived so of course the idiots in _that_ house have decided to act like three year olds," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, don't be mean," said a third year as he reached across to grab some beans. "I heard a Slytherin started it anyway."

"I'm not being mean, I'm being realistic," said Millie, but the third year had already turned back to his own friends. "Anyway if a Slytherin started it then that's even worse. They shouldn't retaliate and I don't see any Slytherins over there."

Tyler had a good response, he really did, but he was interrupted by Barry as he collapsed into a seat next him.

"Oh my Merlin," he groaned. "That was a nightmare. I think I am going to die."

"What're you doing over here?" asked Tyler. "Ravenclaw table's that way."

"But everyone in Ravenclaw is as dead as I am - I don't know how those Gryffindors have so much energy, they're from a tower too - and besides, I have something awful to tell you."

"What?" asked Millie.

"Well, I was coming down from the common room, you know how hard that was this morning, and I passed a couple of Gryffindor Seventh years. The Head Boy, Potter, and his best mate Black. They were muttering about something and I wasn't trying to listen but I admit I was a little curious but then they said it!"

"Said what?" asked Millie.

Oh God, no. Tyler had a feeling he knew where this was going. _No, come on, don't think it don't think it puppy dogs and rainbows and that Gryffindor just got beans in his hair Slytherins seem remarkably angry something about thunderbolts Barry looks real upset why on Earth aren't there any teachers not even Filch at least there was no Sorting Hat insults today James Potter Head Boy has a black eye-_

"THE GAME!" exclaimed Barry.

Dammit.

There was a collective groan up and down the table.

"Barry!"

"You're going to pay for that, Hodge!"

"Why? WHY?"

"Aw man, I was doing so well," groaned Tyler. "I had it all under control-"

"Let me guess, reciting every ship in the 'starmeet' again?" said Millie.

"No, and anyway it's the Star_fleet_."

"Whatever. Barry I am still going to kill you."

"Ah well, every one is reset now," said Barry. "Anyway, I don't see why the Gryffindors were talking about it. Surely they don't have the brain capacity to control their thoughts."

"Typical Ravenclaw," laughed Tyler. "No but really, I'd have thought that would give them an advantage. Only able to think of one thing at a time, see. Makes it easier to keep the focus away from The Game."

"Aaaaand I've lost The Game again," groaned Barry. "Okay, change of subject. Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Montana-"

"Oh not again," groaned Millie, letting her head fall to the table. "What's the point, you're _English._"

"You never know when it might be useful," said Barry. "But I suppose I can do something different…satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima, enam, tujuh…"

"Now he's going to count to a thousand again," sighed Tyler. "You didn't help, Millie! At least America has only fifty states!"

"Ah well," she sighed. "We'd best be off, anyway. Class starts soon."

"Is there any point with no teachers?"

"I wonder where they are?"

"Maybe the giant squid finally grew tired of being a slave for Dumbledore's underwater carriage and rose out of the water and ate them all."

Millie rolled her eyes.

"Or maybe they're just tired after yesterday," she muttered. "But no, you go ahead and think what you want."

"Thanks," said Tyler, ducking as a stray kipper flew his way from the direction of the Gryffindor table.

At that moment, one of the side doors near the high table flew open and Professor Dumbledore walked towards his seat. He looked a little confused but at the same time amused, even after his beard became flecked with red sauce.

He looked like he might be about to say something but he didn't get the chance as that very second, almost like a signal had been sent, the main doors crashed ajar and Peter Pettigrew came hurtling through the air, riding what looked like a stick only it was wriggling about like a snake. Tyler thought it was a very strange broom until Barry later pointed out that it wasn't a broom at all and Sirius Black had been using a levitation charm to control the stick while Pettigrew just pretended to ride it.

That kind of made sense as the poor guy looked absolutely terrified. But he was also wearing a hat similar to those Tyler remembered seeing in Westerns and he was swinging a lasso.

"Yippee Cay-Yay!" Pettigrew yelled (well, it looked like he was trying to yell, it came out like a squeak) swinging his lasso around his head. "I'm a cowboy!"

"What. The. Hell." whispered Millie.

"It's a Muggle thing," said Tyler. "These guys with cool hats, guns and lassos used to ride around on horses and-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I want to know what possessed him to do this!"

"Possessed, huh?" asked Tyler, rubbing his chin. "Maybe this castle is infested with demons, or maybe the strange occurrences of late are forcing them out of their hiding places to protect their home… SOMEONE GRAB THE SALT! A crucifix wouldn't hurt, either."

"You're so weird," said Millie.

"…duapuluh delapan, duapuluh sembilan, tigapuluh!" continued Barry. "Tigapuluh satu…"

By now Pettigrew had done a lap of the Hall and was turning around for another, headed straight for Professor Dumbledore.

"I'm going to capture this here fellow!" he yelled.

"Uh oh…"

Luckily, Pettigrew didn't try to use his lasso. He simply dropped it and grabbed his wand, before firing off a spell.

"YAH!" yelled Pettigrew when he was done, pointing forward and flying to the doors. "To the horizon! We need a sunset scene to finish the movie!"

And then he flew back through the doors, leaving a very stunned Headmaster wearing neon green robes with purple polka dots and a neon green/pink stripped beard.

After a couple of seconds, Dumbledore shrugged, sat down and calmly began cutting into some bacon. At least this served to break up the food fight.

"Sir!" yelled one of the Slytherins. "Sir, surely that deserves-"

"I've been meaning to change my style for quite some time, Mister Nott," said Dumbledore. "I think this quite suits me, as well as having the added bonus of hiding the grey."

"Awesomest. Teacher. Ever," said Tyler.

"But not very teacher like," said Millie. "Maybe you were right with the demon possession theory."

"Right," said Tyler, sitting up straight. "Right. We're going to need an EMF meter, some salt, a couple of Muon Traps, and then we're going to split up and look for ectoplasm-"

"No, man, ectoplasm is created by ghosts, not demons. Our ghosts are nice."

Tyler nearly jumped out of his skin when Frank Longbottom sat next to him.

"What- why-"

"My girlfriend loves that movie," said Longbottom with a shrug.

"I think he meant 'why are you here,'" said Barry, thankfully stopping with the count.

"Oh, I needed to get closer to the Slytherin table. Don't worry, won't be here for long."

"Anyone have an EMF meter?" Tyler hissed, edging away from Longbottom a little. The others just exchanged wide-eyed looks.

Longbottom wasn't paying attention. He was doing something with his wand.

Then every single Slytherin let out a screech and jumped out of their chairs in unison.

"There we go," grinned Frank, pocketing his wand. "Okay, crowd around. Hide me please."

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME!" screeched a Slytherin.

"So cold!"

"I bet this was Black and Potter."

"We'll get you for this! AND LAST NIGHT!"

"Thunderbolts and lighting will not be nearly as frightening as what we're going to do to you!"

"Does any of this make sense to you?" Millie asked Tyler.

"Yes," said Longbottom. "Don't worry though, it's just a game."

"Damn you!" growled Barry. "Not again!"

Longbottom winked and then, after checking that the Slytherins were preoccupied with yelling insults at his two classmates, returned to his own table.

"What did he do?"

"He made me loose The Game again, that's what he did."

"I think he froze the table," said Millie, pointing to the Sltytherins. "Look."

Tyler looked. Indeed, their table and benches seemed to be covered in a thin layer of frost. No wonder they'd jumped up so fast.

"Man, I'd glad the Gryffindors don't have it out for us Hufflepuffs," said Tyler.

"I don't think its just the Gryffindors though, the whole place has gone whacky," said Barry. "I mean, the trip down here was evidence of that!"

"What?" asked Millie.

"Oh, of course!" exclaimed Barry. "You guys live down by the kitchens - of course you don't know! Well, we have charms first, I'm sure you'll be able to-"

Barry paused as Alice Prewett ran out of the hall, a large black dog on a leash pulling her forward at a rapid pace.

"Anyway," he continued, shaking his head, "You'll see eventually. But that-" he nodded to where Prewett had disappeared - "just proves my point. The whole place is crazy."

As it turned out, Barry was right. The whole place was mad, as was evidenced by the huge, vaguely human shaped pile of bubble gum in the center of the entrance hall. Tyler was sorely tempted to grab a bit, but when Millie reminded him how bubblegum got all sticky like that he thought it best to just leave.

Then they discovered what Barry had meant about the difficulty of getting down to the Hall. There was a massive queue of people trying to get onto the Grand Stair Case because it seemed like whenever anyone got half way up just one flight the steps would turn into a slide and send them shotting back to the ground.

"That happened to you the whole way down?" asked Millie.

"Awesome," said Tyler.

"Not awesome," said Barry. "I swear my trousers are worn as thin as McGonagalls patience and my feet hurt from braking. But I bet going up is going to be a whole lot harder."

As it were, several people were installing tactics from the previous morning - namely brooms and levitation charms. But the levitation charms were dangerous, so there were prefects left and right casting cushioning charms.

"I want to know where the hell the teachers are," said Barry. "Aren't they meant to help with this sort of thing?"

"I don't know how to cast a levitation charm yet," said Millie. "I keep getting the incantation wrong… and we still haven't had any flying lessons."

By now a couple of older students who had made it up were throwing down stepladders and conjuring small wooden staircases from various levels, but neither looked particularly brilliant for someone afraid of heights. One happy Gryffindor (no names will be mentioned… but he might have been the Head Boy) had created some sort of platform with rope and a pulley system, then pointed his wand at the rope, said '_ascendio_' and shot up to the fourth floor in no time.

"Excuse me," said a voice, pushing through to the front. "No, please - let me through, I'm the Head Girl!"

The red head of Lily Evans appeared near the foot of the stair case. Then, proud as you please, she walked up the stairs no problem. Hestia Jones followed after her and had the same result.

"Great, you fixed it!" called Amos Diggory, surging forward.

He made it half way up before it turned into a slide, causing him to fall flat on his face and he shot head first back to the floor.

"Bloody brilliant," said a familiar voice, and Tyler turned to see Frank Longbottom and Remus Lupin not far behind him. "How'd you do it?"

"It's pretty simple, really," said Lupin. "The founders built the school so of course Gryffindors portrait in Dumbledore's office knew how to do this… and all I did was transfer over a spell used in another part of the castle, I didn't introduce a new spell entirely to the building."

"Makes sense I guess," said Frank. "Now come on, don't want to be late for our classes. What've you got?"

"Herbology," said Remus, winking.

"Damn, lucky you," and Frank. "No wonder you were so good with stairs, you don't have to go up them. I've got Muggle Studies first up."

"Sucks."

"I know."

It didn't take the students long to figure out what was going on with the stairs. Only girls could go up, like the ones in their dorms. That left the boys to use the other methods. But that was okay, it meant Millie could use the stairs and the two boys used one of the wooden sets, reminding themselves that the cushioning charms would protect them if they fell.

On their way to the Charms classroom, they heard banging coming from a broom cupboard.

"Demon?" Barry asked hopefully.

"Hope not," said Tyler in a horrified whisper.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," said Millie, reaching for the handle.

"No, don't!" exclaimed Tyler. "Come on, we're going to be late."

That Millie listened to, and they rushed to their classroom.

When they got here it was to see a very odd sigh indeed. The Head Boy was lying on his side, one hand on his top hip and the other supporting his head - the type of position one might take when at the front of the group during a photo shoot. Tyler had done that enough times.

But never on a teacher's desk

And never in nothing but his boxers.

Too stunned to do much else, the three took a seat along with the rest of the class, sitting speechless and strongly hoping they were wrong about the possession thing.

When the door opened again, they all looked up in hope hope that Professor Flitwick had arrived.

"Hello," said Potter in a low voice. "I've been waiting for you, sexy."

"Potter!" screeched Lily Evans as she closed the door behind her. "Get down from there, put your clothes on and then go to your own class."

"Yes Ma'am," he said with a wink, doing as she asked. Well, the clothes bit. Then he went and sat down. The rest of the class was still stunned, a testament to the fact that the class was made up of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws and not Gryffindors and Slytherins.

"Now, class," said Evans, "I have heard you are learning the levitation charm - something that would have been useful this morning, I'm sure. Now, can anyone tell me the incantation?"

"Oh, oh, oh, I know!" cried Potter, sticking his hand in the air and bouncing in his seat at the front of the class. "Pick me, Miss, Pick me!"

"Any one else?"

"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" yelled Potter.

"Correct, although I would prefer if you waited until I called on you. Besides, you should not be in this class - please remove yourself."

"Can't do that, Jackson's Law of Transfiguration states that it is impossible to use a vanishing spell on yourself-"

"And can anyone show me the wand movement for this spell?"

"I can, I can, PICK ME , oh I am so enthusiastic, Miss, I really am, I just want to learn I really do and I know the answer oh Miss can I please get extra credit oh please oh please oh please oh aren't you proud I know the answer, Miss?"

"Mr Potter, please-"

"Oh you picked me! YES! The answer is like this, Miss- _swish and flick!_ You get that? Swish and Flick. You gotta be careful you don't _flick and _swish because that could have disastrous consequences and your object might go down instead of up and then it wouldn't be a levitation spell AT ALL-"

"Mr Potter-"

"Do you have another question, Miss? Ask it, Miss, ask it, I'll answer it I'll answer anything I'm ready ready ready oh! Miss please I just want to LEARN-"

"Would everyone please pull out their wands and begin practicing the spell!" shouted Evans.

"OH A PRACTICAL TEST I AM SO EXCITED!"

"There are feathers in front of you to work with, and remember to pronounce the spell correctly-"

"DON'T DO WHAT WIZARD BARRUFIO DID CHILDREN, HE WAS NOT WELL EDUCATED. LISTEN TO THE PROFESSOR AND LEARN THE CORRECT METHOD OF SPELL CASTING!"

"Yes, thank you Mr. Potter. Now if you would like to practice the spell-"

"Wingardium Leviosa! I did it, I did it, I did it! Do you see Miss, my feather is floating! ITS FLOATING I'M SO PROUD I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY MISS!"

Needless to say, not much learning was done. The Ravenclaws complained (and were ignored) but the Hufflepuffs, for the most part, found it much more entertaining than doing work.

And Tyler constantly checked for ectoplasm, wishing that he could find an EMF meter that worked within Hogwarts' walls.

* * *

><p>They'd only done the first class of the day and Barry was so done. He'd even given up on his favorite game - The Game - which is a fun little challenge where you loose every time you think of The Game. He'd been doing well but after those stupid Gryffindors had mentioned it he couldn't get it out of his head.<p>

Then there was the whole thing with the stairs and if that wasn't bad enough, after Charms a suit of armour had thrown a balloon filled with paint at him and he didn't know any cleaning charms so he had to get all the way back up to his dorm to change his robes.

On his way he went past that broom closet again but he thought it best not to open it. Not that he believed in those silly little Muggle things of Tyler's but it didn't hurt, right?

He'd made to the right floor when he heard a scream.

He raced around the corner to see what was wrong only to collide with Professor Alby, the first teacher he'd seen all day. Alby was the divination teacher, and he wouldn't have even known what she looked like if she hadn't taken to wandering the halls around the Ravenclaw Tower when she needed to 'feel the auras of wisdom' or whatever.

This time though she looked like she was in a _bit_ of a rush.

"Death, Murder," she screeched as she scrambled away from Barry. "There is a Darkness roaming these halls!"

A bark sounded from around the corner.

Alby paled, and then ran off again. Just then a large black dog barreled around the corner, still barking and looking like it was having the time of it's life. It paused for moment and glanced at Barry as if to say, _did you see which way she went? _But then it shrugged like it didn't care as it knew anyway and then bounded off again, just before Alice Prewett came around the same corner.

"Jimmy!" she yelled. "Oh for Merlin's sake, Jimmy come back! This is ridiculous, LEAVE THE NICE LADY ALONE!"

"Are you alright?" asked Barry.

"Oh yeah," said Prewett, gasping for air. "My dog's just a little… excited right now… JIMMY HEEL!"

A bark sounded in the distance, and with a groan Prewett jogged off.

A couple of minutes later and Barry finally, _finally_ made it to his common room. But even there he was met with an odd sight. There were several sixth and seventh years (who must've had free periods) sat on the floor outside the entrance, all talking and arguing and writing things down on a pieces of parchment.

"Um, excuse me," said Barry. "Would you mind letting me past - I have to get in."

"Oh, good luck," growled one of the girls. "I'd like to see _you_ do it."

"What?"

"The riddle," groaned one boy that Barry recognized as a prefect. "It's horrid!"

"No, we can solve it!" exclaimed another. "It'll just take a bit of thinking, is all."

"We've been at this for an hour, Miranda, and I'm still as confused as when we started," said the first girl.

"Maybe a fresh young mind is what we need."

"I think he hasn't got a chance."

"Let him try."

"I need to get into my room!" wailed yet another boy. "This is terrible! Someone get Dumbledore!"

"That would be smart," sighed the prefect, "But he went back to his office after breakfast and the Gargoyle won't let anyone in. Something about a moustache, I don't know, it wasn't making much sense."

Deciding to ignore the older students and at least hear the riddle Barry dodged all their parchments and moved towards the door.

However the second the knocker started to talk his stomach dropped to his shoes.

"In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours and in each house lives a person of different nationality. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, use a different wand and keep a different pet. Here are fifteen hints to help you:

1. The Brit lives in a red house.  
>2. The Swede keeps rats as pets.<br>3. The Dane drinks pumpkin juice.  
>4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.<br>5. The owner of the Green house drinks firewhisky.  
>6. The person who has a Yew wand rears owls.<br>7. The owner of the Yellow house has a hawthorn wand.  
>8. The man living in the centre house drinks tea.<br>9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.  
>10. The man who has a holly wand lives next to the one who keeps cats.<br>11. The man who keeps toads lives next to the man who has a hawthorn wand.  
>12. The man who has a willow wand drinks butterbeer.<br>13. The German has a wand made of beech.  
>14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.<br>15. The man who has a holly wand has a neighbour who drinks water.

"But the question is… _Who owns the hippogriff_?"

"You have _got _to be kidding me."

"Oh no, kid, it isn't. It won't even let us guess - Miranda tried that, it said that unless we were one hundred per cent sure it wouldn't let us in. So come here. Sit down. Join us."

"I'd get comfortable if I were you. We might be here for a while."

So Barry sat on the floor and grabbed some parchment, noting with relief that one of the other had thought to write the hints down.

Maybe Tyler was right. Maybe the castle was out to get them.

Either way, _something_ was going on. And it couldn't be anything good.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't worry if your suggestion was only mentioned. I am going into more detail next chapter. Also, in case you're worried, back to the Marauders in the next chapter! I just wanted an outside perspective, like in the DW eps <strong>_**Love and Monsters**_** & **_**Blink **_**and the SPN ep **_**Bitten**_**.**

**Acknowledgements:**

_**~Hellfire Putten Ninja**_** suggested the whole 'I lost the Game' thing.**

_**~happysmiles500**_** suggested both the stairs to slides thing and James answering the questions in a 1st yr class (though I might have made him more enthusiastic)**

_**~Uniquely X**_** suggested something that was mentioned, but I haven't elaborated so that'll be acknowledged in more detail next time.**

_**~BluebirdiexD**_** suggested Peter's dare with the cowboy thing at the start and half the colour change of Dumbledore**

_**~HarryCriesForDumbledore**_** suggested the other half of Dumbledore's colour change**

_**~CoralFlower**_** suggested both Frank freezing the tables and the bubblegum thing which will also be elaborated on, don't worry**

_**~bambiaj99**_** suggested James on the teacher's desk**

_**~Laugh Poor Weasley**_** and **_**Blue Luver5000**_** and **_**Master Noble**_** suggested something that is very obvious but not yet completely hashed out so I'm also leaving that for next time. **_**Hellfire Putten Ninja**_** suggested something similar WHICH IS GOING TO BE USED BUT NOT QUITE YET**

_**~RosesandThorns11**_** suggested that they Gryffindors teach classes (also not quite done)**

**~The last riddle belongs to Albert Einstein. I don't think it's actually that hard but I figure it would be awful hearing the knocker give you that one if you hadn't heard it before… can you just imagine? (UPDATE 27-07-14: Riddle changed slightly to make it more Harry Pottery.)  
><strong>

**And I think that's it! Hopefully I'll update again soon, if not prepare yourselves for in late January there will be a maelstrom of updates. Yes. I will stand by this. **


	25. A Dog and a Grim Lesson

_**THIS IS BEING TRANSLATED INTO FRENCH!**_** I'm quite excited, this is first time for me. There is a link on my profile. Thank you _Miisss_!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>So… I'm not dead. I've just been having a bit of a hectic time at the moment so I haven't been able to write much, and when I have I just haven't been able to write anything funny. So I kept writing sadangsty stuff by accident, which turned into other stories. Oops. When I did write for this I wrote other dares for when the game returns to normal, which obviously i can't post yet. But here's your next chapter. It feels short but I thought you guys would rather short than an even longer wait.**

**Sorry guys, and thanks for sticking with me. I really hope this will encourage some of you to stop trying to figure out how to smuggle a pitchfork on a plane to Australia. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else recognizable. (I'm pretty sure I stuck a few references in here at some point.)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

FRIDAY MORNING: A Dog and a Grim Lesson

"I hate this stuff," groaned Hestia, rubbing her sticky hands on the inside of her robes. "It never comes off!"

"You're the one that picked the ground floor," said Lily.

"Yes, but Sirius is the one that came up with this bloody dare!" growled Hestia. "Damn Protocol Thirteen to hell!"

"Protocol or not, Sirius was always going to give out that dare eventually."

"I haven't even finished it," she groaned, putting her head into her hands before recoiling in horror. "Oh for the love of - now it's on my face! It is, isn't it, Lily? Tell me my face is not covered in pink gum?"

"Your face is free," laughed Lily, "But Drooble's Best seems to have made it's way all over the back of your robes."

"Oh for the love of-"

"Hey, at least you didn't have James in your class for the past hour. _That_ was torture."

"Oh yeah? You try making a statue look like Slughorn, let alone one made out of congealed _gum_ - do you know how hard it was to get it all wet enough to use?"

"You didn't chew it all, did you? Because that would be-"

"No, I used _aguamenti_. But I still had to mould it around! Do you know what I had to do to keep it out of my hair? _Cling wrap,_ Lily, _cling wrap_. I looked like some kind of monster! Not to mention-"

"Alright, alright," laughed Lily, "Calm down. We have to be at class soon."

"Correction: _you_ have to be at class. Remus allocated me a free space here, since the statue doesn't even look human right now."

"Well, that's okay. I don't think Slughorn even _is_ human," said Alice, walking up beside them and panting like she'd just run a marathon.

"Oh hey," said Lily. "How's the dog walking going?"

"Well, I don't even know where the bloody hell Jimmy is," Alice groaned. "He keeps running off, knocking stuff and first years over and bitting at the Slytherin's ankles."

"_Jimmy?_" asked Lily.

"He wanted to annoy James," said Alice in exasperation. "He knows how much James hates that name so he decided to have the name himself, so he can see James cringe every time I use it. But he won't answer to anything else and there is no way I'm using his real name. But I'm just glad none of the teachers are about, I'm afraid they'd vanish him and be done with it."

"Alby is still awake, since she left early last night," said Lily.

"Yeah, but Sirius has been keeping her busy," said Alice, cracking a smile. "That almost made the whole thing worth it. _Almost_."

"Are you going to take him to class?" asked Hestia.

"Well, I have Care of Magical Creatures next. Thank Merlin I had a free period a moment ago, _Jimmy_ was running around like crazy. Way too excited about this, if you ask me."

"Hey, speaking of teachers," said Hestia, "Has anyone noticed Filch yet?"

"There were three first years hanging around before my Charms class earlier," said Lily. "I think they thought it was a Boggart though, or something like it."

"Good," said Hestia. "I don't think a few more hours are going to make much difference now, not while he's been locked in there all night already. He's going to be just as angry whatever we do, and it'd be good for him to be out of the way until at least I've finished the statue."

"Peter's suits of armour haven't used up all their paint bombs yet, either," said Alice, showing the other two a large blue splotch on her side. "I forgot where they were and ran right through without a shield. Damn dog didn't get hit at all."

"At least you'll be less suspected, since you're now a victim," said Hestia. "It's like with the stairs - everyone suspects the Marauders because, well, you know, but because it only affected boys everyone thinks a girl did it."

"Remus was smart there," said Lily.

"I think this whole thing is ridiculous," groaned Alice. "Protocol indeed. I know we all broke the rules, but since it was all of us couldn't they just let it go?"

"I think it's brilliant," said Hestia. "Although I have to admit the dares could have been allocated better-"

"Oh, let it go, Hest," sighed Alice. "Your dare is nowhere close to being worse than-"

Alice was interrupted by a loud bark, and then a second later _Jimmy_ the large black dog came bounding down the hall, a pair of black trousers dangling from his jaws.

"I don't even want to know," Alice groaned, causing the dog to wag its tail. Then she hesitantly reattached her leash to the dog's bright red collar, which proclaimed him as JIMMY and '_NOT property of Alice Prewett, but she is looking after me right now (a.k.a. giving me food.) Return to Kitchens if found.'_

Then the dog started to drag her towards the entrance hall.

"See you at lunch!" she called, and then she was gone.

"Okay, maybe I'm not the _worst_ off," Hest allowed.

"Oh yeah, you'd better believe it," said Lily. "Anyway, I have to go. I just hope and pray that James is not in my class again."

"Don't you have second years now though?" asked Hest. "James is only allowed in firstie classes."

"Oh thank God," Lily said. "There is hope left in this world! Well, okay. Have fun on your Slughorn thing, I'll see you later!"

Hestia sighed in defeat as she headed back down to the entrance hall. In a way, she supposed Alice had been right. The Protocol Thirteen thing was completely ridiculous and she wondered how many bottles of fire whisky the Marauders had drunk when they thought it up. Although saying that, this was the Marauders she was talking about. One block of chocolate would have been enough for Remus; James and Sirius were mad enough anyway and Peter would have just gone along with it like always.

But whatever the case, it was absolutely mad and only the Marauders would ever be able to not only think up the concept of something so _epic_, but even consider the fact that it might work.

She thought that the idea of being caught would not have entered their minds. Not because they're stupid, but rather because they simply didn't care. Maybe they even _liked_ getting caught. Back in fourth year Sirius and James were talking about setting an all time record for the number of detentions served during seven years in Hogwarts.

James _had_ to have planned this whole thing. Well, him and Sirius. They must have known rules were being broken and held their tongue, just for this purpose. And then after last night…

You see, when Sirius had told Hestia that her prank must be approved by James, she hadn't been suspicious at all. Obviously Sirius just wanted a great prank and, being Sirius, did not believe a girl could think one up. So he wanted it to have Marauder approval. A little annoying, but not anything unusual.

When James suggested the slight alteration to her prank despite seeming initially in awe of it perhaps made her wonder, but not much. Being a Marauder, James would want to give the prank as much flare as possible and since covering the inside of all the taps in that particular bathroom with a strong but slow acting sleeping potion gave the prank an added bonus of there being no teachers in the morning she assumed it was simply James' way of 'jazzing it up'.

Especially when it meant there was no punishment for their musical debut in the Slyrtherin common other than a couple of cuts and bruises since all the Slytherin Prefects had been too busy firing off curses (using both meanings of that phrase) to think of taking away house points.

However, she did have to admit it was brilliantly thought out. All the staff (except for Alby) came into contact with the potion when they wet their hands, but it was not dangerous since it would not cause them to fall into a deep sleep until several hours later, when they were asleep already. Madam Pomfrey would not be affected as not only was it counteracted by the awakening potion she took, but it would be completely washed off of her hands by the strong disinfectants in the hospital wing before it began to work. Similarly, the disinfectants Filch used to clean the corridors would wash it off his hands, making him available for pranks in the morning.

James had admitted later that Dumbledore would, of course, notice, but being such a good sport he would most likely not mention it to the others, only washing it off his own hands to make sure the school did not erupt into a total _Lord of the Flies_ (as dubbed by Lily) type battle ground. That made him also available for pranks in the morning.

In fact, it was so well thought out that Hestia might have called the two Marauders absolute geniuses if it hadn't led to her building a life sized statue of Professor Slughorn out of bubble gum in the entrance hall.

Actually, the entire night had been quite stressful. First there was the Doctor Who and her dare and then the whole Peter-Fell-Off-The-Astronomy-Tower spectacle. After that Remus had shown them Protocol Thirteen and then they were just sprinting around their allocated levels of the castle like madmen and women trying to get everything done.

Hestia reached into her pocket and pulled out the sheet of parchment she had acquired last night. On the top was Remus' description of the Protocol along with her list of allocated pranks. She had completed a good many of them the night before, but it still seemed like she had hardly made a dent.

At the top of the parchment, the words '**P**rotocol **T**hirteen' were written, the capital letters pressed in so dark she figured Sirius must have made his capital letter speech many times before. Under that was a block of text.

Hestia almost put the parchment back in her bag because she really did not want to read that _thing _again. As it was, when the words '_everyone', 'pranks', 'floors' _ and _'allocate'_ popped out at her she got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, even though it had only taken the one look to practically memorise what it said the night before. Or early that morning. Earlier. Before.

Whatever, any way you looked at it still led to the same result. In the early hours of Friday morning the Gryffindor seventh years had all crowded around Remus, shouting out any pranks they could possibly think of while he scribbled them down onto parchment. All pranks were then divided by the floor they would be set off on and then each student was given a floor to 'sort out' as well a number of the left over pranks, and their roles in the pranks that would take multiple people to operate.

Then, they went to work. (And they also tried to wipe the second part of the protocol from their minds, that was just to horrible to contemplate.)

Portraits of founders were consulted. Ghosts were interrogated and sworn to silence. A certain poltergeist was bribed. Items were stolen. Pets were relocated. Buckets levitated, paint bombs filled, armour animated and lessons planned. It was a wonder that they fit it all into one night, although the awakening potion probably helped.

It was such a wonder that many found it difficult to believe. However, they all knew the Marauders were masters so simply shrugged it off as another amazing victory (or not, depending on the perspective) for the gang of Gryffindors.

But the actual reason as to why it was so difficult to believe was because they hadn't got it all done at all; about half the pranks were still ongoing.

Which was why Hestia was standing in the entrance hall covered fingers to elbows in bubblegum.

The statue was slowly taking form, starting to look more like it should rather than a huge pink blob, becoming easily recognisable as professor Slughorn. She pulled pieces of the gum apart to create the strands of what little hair Slughorn had on his head, rolled up balls for eyes and pressed flat eyelids over them and pulled out a hair pin to help her shape the lips.

Finally the sculpture was completed, but Hestia smirked as she added just one more finishing touch. Just in time, too, for as soon as that was done she could hear the whoops and screeches of hundreds of students sliding down the staircases.

After all but diving away from the pile of pink goop Hestia dashed into a small alcove, cursing at the bubblegum that refused to pull away from her arms. She could have just vanished it, but in doing so she'd have to grab her wand which would then get covered and vanishing something off a wand is _very_ difficult - which is exactly why the wand-polish companies make so much money.

Luckily, she made it into the alcove unseen, and even managed to muster up a smile when she heard the gasps from the students as they recognised the sculpture for what it was. Let Sirius never again say she was a bad artist.

It was almost worth having to pick all the gum off the bottom of five hundred desks. Damn Lily to hell for only suggesting a summoning charm after an hour of horrifiying work.

She would pay for that.

But then, no doubt she was having a hell of a time anyway.

* * *

><p>Alice was <em>not<em> having a good day. Sure, that notion might have been a little overused by now but it was incredibly true. You try chasing after a hyperactive and extremely excitable dog with an in depth knowledge of the castle's secret passageways on minimal sleep. It is not fun.

Not to mention the fact that they were now so late for Care of Magical creatures she might as well just not bother going at all.

There was no way it could get any worse.

It was so bad, in fact, that it completely over rid her common sense and allowed her to actually feel _relieved_ when the damn thing stopped in middle of a hallway, his ears cocked and his nose twitching in what was later recognised as excitement.

"Oh, thank Merlin," she gasped, placing her hands on her knees and panting. "Just let me catch my breath for a sec, will you? Not all of us have four legs."

Not a second later and her arm felt like it was being ripped out of its socket as 'Jimmy' took off like a rat out of an aqueduct. As she tried to regain her balance Alice managed to spot a fluffy tail slinking around a corner.

"Oh bloody hell," she growled, stumbling. "Can't you contain yourself for just a couple of minutes?"

The answer seemed to be a _no_.

* * *

><p>Mrs Norris had not been having a good day either. She had spent a good portion of the night before trying to hide from the giant-black-hungry-monster-dog that had forced her to retreat to the high-branch-rafter-wood-beam while all the two-legs-big-pink-no-fur-s had ran around in circles beneath her. Sometimes the two-legs were really silly.<p>

But her two-legs had tried to make her come down and she had wanted to, he was very nice and gave her food after all, but the giant-black-hungry-monster-dog had been there. She wasn't going to risk it.

Then, this morning, her two-legs had gone into one of the square-cave-smelly-rooms and hadn't come back out. She'd searched for hours for him, and then she couldn't open the wood-barrier-door. So she went to find help.

Now though, she was being chased again. Chased by yet another dumb dog, a bouncy-giant-sharp-teeth-dog. There was one of those annoying kitten-two-legs being towed behind it, but the kitten-two-legs was doing nothing to stop the bouncy-giant-sharp-teeth-dog. She was too weak. Stupid thing, why didn't it get help?

But Mrs Norris had enough. She was a _cat_, for goodness sake, she wasn't going to be chased by something as low and inferior as a bouncy-dense-_dog._ So once she had turned a corner she stopped. Turned. Waited.

She was patient, just like the regal being that she was.

She didn't have to wait long.

The second the huge-bumbling-bouncy-sharp-teeth-dog came barrelling around the corner she simply swiped out with one graceful paw, dragging her claws down the creatures' face.

The effect was instantaneous.

The stupid-inferior-crazy-mongrel stopped running and yowled in pain, rubbing a paw across its nose. His sudden stop caused the kitten-two-legs to trip over him and go flying to the floor, and in turn caused the injured-unhappy-unintelligent-dog to be dragged by his rope-restraining-lead and yowl once more.

Satisfied, Mrs Norris stuck her nose into the air and trotted past the two stupid creatures, tail held high.

She was better than them, and now they knew it.

* * *

><p><em>I was wrong<em>, thought Alice, groaning as she shoved Sirius away from her and staggered back upright. _It could be a whole lot worse._

* * *

><p>Mary always falls asleep in Divination. But really, who doesn't? It's like the nap time that everyone wishes were in school but seems to unfortunately stop when you hit the age of 5.<p>

But, you know, with added homework.

Nevertheless, Divination is always odd, always strange, yet still managing to keep up that 'always' and therefore it held a certain level of predictability.

But not today. The first clue was the fact that Alby was actually there, making her the second professor Mary had seen since yesterday's astronomy lesson. Then there were the constant references to death.

Sure, it seemed like a requirement in divination to predict the death of every fourth person you saw, but Alby actually managed to seem worse today. Plus, she was kind of off her game. She wasn't even creative in her use of death omens; she just kept going on about the Grim.

Most of the Muggleborns in the room didn't seem to know what she was talking about, because really who pays attention in divination? The only reason they were now was the sheer fact that it was almost refreshing to see a teacher and know that something horrible (such as death eaters kidnapping and killing them all, a thought that had crossed her mind despite seeing Dumbledore that morning) had not happened. But they didn't seem to understand how a giant black dog could mean something so awful (beside the obvious 'that dog has sharp teeth') and were having difficulty understanding why Alby was so terrified.

But to be fair, Mary was sure she had seen a giant black dog earlier in the day… what if it had been the Grim after all?

Marlene, always the skeptic, had spent the lesson jotting down ideas for their prank on a piece of parchment. They still hadn't gotten around to doing anything, something that both relieved and disappointed her. She didn't want to get in any trouble, not after this week but at the same time it sounded fun.

Maybe they could break into the Marauder's dorm and put something on them when they were asleep? Or they could slip something into their bags, or into their food… something that wouldn't be tied back to them. Something they could sit back and laugh with everyone else, secretly giggling as they knew exactly what had happened and no one else did. It would be great.

Unfortunately, Marlene's plans seemed slightly bigger and not so discreet. She seemed to be focusing more on the concept off-

"Is it just me, or is it getting cold in here?" asked Marlene, placing her quill neatly on the desk and interrupting Mary's train of thought.

"Uh…" now that she thought about it, Mary realised the room didn't feel quite as warm and stuffy as usual. "Yeah, you're right, it is."

"Oh good, I was kind of worried that _they_ had slipped something into my goblet this morning."

"I was wondering why I was actually able to concentrate. Guess the temperature helps."

"Concentrate on what? You haven't written any notes."

"Children, please pay attention to my teachings," said Alby gesturing at the two of them. "However, you are correct, the room does appear to be increasingly frigid."

"Freeeeaaakkkyy," whispered Marlene.

"This probably means we're all going to drop dead in a moment," added Mary, equally quiet.

And sure enough:

"…cold seeping under a door clearly indicates that there is a horror lurking on the edge of your life…"

"This sucks," sighed Marlene. "I could be doing something so much more productive."

Then everyone's heads snapped to the door as it creaked open, a white mist seeping though the crack.

"Oh Merlin," whispered Boot, "This can't be good."

"It has to be just another prank," muttered Amelia Bones. "It has to be."

"Still mean's it isn't going to be good," Boot replied.

Meanwhile, Alby seemed to have degraded down into a state of terror. Her face had become pale and clammy, her eyes much wider than usual and her hands were shaking.

A low howl sounded from outside the door, and someone screamed faintly, yet when she looked around Mary couldn't tell who it was.

The temperature seemed to drop a little further, and the door creaked open revealing a tall, dark figure cloaked in shadow.

"Oh my Merlin," squeaked Teresa Belby. "It's a Dementor!"

"Don't be silly," snapped Amelia. "A Dementor couldn't get through the wards."

But the students confusion over the dark shape was quickly forgotten as a smaller shadow detached itself and walked out of the mist in the doorway, a low growl sounding in it's throat.

"The… the G-G-Grim!" exclaimed Alby, pointing a trembling finger. Then the terrified expression quickly faded from her face as she fainted.

Someone screamed. The purebloods and half bloods were shaking with horror.

Then the larger dark shape came forward, and someone else screamed.

It was easy to see how it had been mistaken for a Dementor, this tall, cloaked figure. However, when one looked closer it was easy to see the differences - the hands that poked from the sleeves of the cloak were not rotten and slimy but clean white bones, and in one skeletal hand the figure was grasping a long staff topped with a curved blade…

A scythe.

"It's the reaper!" screeched Tasha Brown. "The Grim Reaper, come to claim our souls!"

"Two Grims at once?" called Teresa, a halfblood. "What have we done to deserve this?"

"Oh for goodness sake, I expected more of Ravenclaws," muttered Marlene. "It's so obvious it's Black or Potter under that cloak."

"Some people are simply irrational," sighed Mary. "Thought you have to admit it's a good idea."

"A bloody stupid idea," muttered Amelia Bones, joining them when she realised they were also unmoved by the spectacle. "They've almost killed Alby and turned the rest of the class to hysterics."

"A lesson of why you _shouldn't_ take Divination," sighed Mary. "Guess it's a better lesson than we've had in the class ever before."

The 'Grim' was by now growling at many of the students in turn, causing them to run through the now empty doorway. The Reaper meanwhile was swinging its scythe around, standing above professor Alby and looking slightly more comical than scary. It seemed like most of the students were merely running because, as Mary had thought before, large black dogs with long sharp teeth were quite menacing in their own rite, death omens or not.

Pretty soon the class was almost empty, and the dog turned its teeth on the three girls.

"You haven't bitten anyone else," said Amelia, sounding brave although some sweat had appeared on her forehead. "Why would you bite us?"

The dog growled louder.

"Oh very scary," said Amelia, hands trembling but voice steady. Mary wondered what she was doing before she realised - the dog was blocking their access to the door. There was no way for them to leave the room whether the dog wanted them too or not. "Bite me if you want then. Go on."

The growling stopped immediately, and the dog cocked its head at them. A couple of seconds later it snuffed in what sounded suspiciously like disappointed before wandering over and lying down at the foot of the -

Was the Grim Reaper _laughing?_

Never mind that. The three of them quickly got out of their seats and left. Not because they were scared, of course. They had a free period now, who were they to stick their nose up at it?

Meanwhile, Alice pulled off her dark hood and the spelled dress-up-gloves that Remus had worn at the Halloween feast a month before.

"Well that failed," she said. Sirius glared at her.

"Oh come on, you didn't really think it would work, did you? The only ones you fooled were Brown and Belby, and I think even Belby got her wits back at the end. Why anyone thought that would work…"

Sirius gave her as much of an annoyed look as a dog could muster before gesturing at Alby with a paw.

"Oh yeah, okay, that was funny," Alice allowed. "But that was all. Oh well, time to head down now. Finally, this stupid dare is nearly ending."

Sirius seemed to be doing his best to look disappointed, but he didn't seem to be able to stop his tail from wagging.

Maybe he was just excited about his next dare. Well… Alice might be having a _little_ bit of fun, but she could not wait for the moment when she could lie down and actually get a moment of sleep.

But not yet.

After shoving Sirius into a broom closet, Alice made her way to the table and it was all she could do not to lean down and close her eyes. Instead she ate. She knew she'd need the strength.

* * *

><p><em>Why is it always me that gets these stupid jobs?<em> Frank wondered as he stalked down the steps. _First Fang, then a hundred owls last night, several cats (don't they know cats scratch?) and now this!_

When Frank had first started at Hogwarts he decided he was going to be good. He didn't want to face his mother's wrath otherwise. He would study hard, achieve great grades and never get in trouble. Before this, he was happy to state that he had only seen the inside of the headmasters office once, and that was when his father had died. (Admittedly, not a happy occasion, but what he means is he'd never been called there for misbehaviour.)

But apparently that one visit was enough for the marauders to claim that he knew where it was, and then he was sent there with the password to deal with a very grumpy, moustached gargoyle who didn't _really _want to let him up in the first place, steal a phoenix and then come back down only to hear the gargoyle screaming more insults about insolent Gryffindor students who thought they ruled the castle.

It was not fun.

At least he got some sweets out of it. They were just sitting there, all shiny and yellow and tasty looking, so he grabbed them. He figured he couldn't get in more trouble for taking sweets than for taking the bird, so where was the harm? Also, the phoenix came quietly. It almost seemed excited, like it thought it was going on an adventure. Well, Frank had heard that phoenixes are very good judges of character - perhaps it could tell that Frank did not want to harm it. He wasn't even stealing it, not really - he was just going to put him in the kitchens for a little while in order to distract Dumbledore. But still.

He wasn't the Marauder's official animal fetcher. The next time they asked, he'd be pointing a finger at James. He had plenty of pets at home, surely he could do a better job.

By the time he reached the kitchens I was almost time for lunch and the Elves were a little annoyed to be disturbed while they were piling food onto the tables, but they were happy enough to say they'd look after the phoenix for a little while. Not that it needed looking after - the moment he'd gotten through the door the phoenix had left Frank's shoulder to steal a tender piece of chicken from the table under the Hufflepuffs and then t flew up onto a high shelf to eat it's prize.

_Easiest dare ever, _thought Frank as he headed back up the stairs. And yet, he couldn't help but be a little bit worried about what Dumbledore might do to him when he discovered that his pet phoenix was missing. Surely the irritated Gargoyle would be willing to tell the headmaster exactly who had had stolen him, and while many of the portraits in the hall were game to help the previous headmasters and headmistresses seemed a little more strict and gossipy…

Yeah, he was done for. But weren't they all after this whole spectacle?

* * *

><p>When lunch rolled around, James was <em>relieved. <em>Very, very, _very_ relieved. His dare was over. There might be more to come, but _that_ one was done.

Now, James wasn't really one to be embarrassed, but acting out in all of the first year classes had been awful. Worse than the Hufflepuff thing, really.

But walking into lunch was great. He had a little bit of a reprieve until his next dare, so he would be able to enjoy it.

He smiled at Lily trying to hand out some kind of Muggle device in the entrance hall-

"Here, take this," she was saying, holding out small, clear cylindrical pieces of plastic to everyone. They were filled with something blue and had slight points on the end. "Come on, it will make your school life fifty times easier I swear, and cut down essay writing time dramatically."

-and smirked when he saw something yellow roll out of the conveniently placed broom cupboard. Then he strode through the doors, sat down at the table and began to eat.

Bliss. Quiet, peaceful bliss.

Then the doors slammed open and Sirius came running through the hall grasping a basket full of lemons.

"I AM LIFE!" He yelled, plucking a lemon out the basket and lobbing it towards the Ravenclaw table. "MWAHAHAHAHA! Fear me!"

Students ducked as lemons began flying everywhere.

"ALL BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY POWER OF LIFE! I WILL THROW LEMONS AT EVERYONE!"

It was a testament to how the week had been going that everyone simply kept eating, at least until Alice sighed and stood up on the table, looking a little battered from her exciting morning but no less energetic.

"Oh my Merlin you guys!" she exclaimed. "Have any of you noticed? Surely you have. You MUST have, being the intelligent Hogwarts students that you are."

The students exchanged blank looks with their neighbors.

"LEMONS!" Sirius screamed.

"Dumbledore!" Alice yelled, ignoring Sirius. When she received more blank looks, she frowned, and called out again, waving her arms about. "You know… Dumbledore! Or rather, the lack of."

Several students glanced to the staff table and noticed that yes, there were no teachers there at all this time.

"He's gone to a mystical land called Middle Earth for an adventure!"

Some of the Muggleborns giggled, while some of the more gullible purebloods looked on with growing excitement.

"Lemons?" asked Sirius weakly, chucking another one towards Alice. But it fell short, and again he was ignored. Sulking, Sirius went to sit back down.

"He's forming a team, you see!" Alice continued, "There will be dwarves, and a hobbit-"

"Don't be stupid!" exclaimed Boot. "Hobbits went extinct hundreds of years ago-"

"They're going to go after a dragon and recover the dwarves' lost home!"

The general consensus among the students seemed to be that no one knew the dwarves had lost their home. They'd seemed pretty well-off during their revolt at the Belgium v. Poland quidditch match the year before.

But Alice was not deterred.

"They're going to drive the dragon away, find the gold and save the day!" she chanted.

By now most people had stopped paying attention and had gone back to eating, but it only lasted for as long as until Miranda Worthington, a Ravenclaw seventh year, burst through the door yelling at the top of her lungs.

"IT WAS THE GERMAN! THE GERMAN! THE GERMAN!"

All the Ravenclaws immediately stood up and began cheering, jumping up and down ecstatically.

"What on earth was that about?" asked Frank.

"No idea," James replied. "Strange lot, those Ravenclaws. Very strange indeed."

* * *

><p>Lily sighed as finally sat back down. They had half an hour left. Half an hour.<p>

In between the running around of that morning everything was being sorted. Everything was being put into place. They were getting ready for _it_.

The big one. The final plot, the Last Great Achievement of the Marauders and Friends, as Sirius had dubbed it despite being only halfway through the year and having three more days left of this infernal Game.

Mind you, James said the name changed near daily. The Final Judgement, The Ultimate Design, The Grande Finale, The Conclusion But Don't Worry There Will Be An Epilogue - but whatever he called it, the idea remained the same.

And apparently, today was the day it was going to be implemented.

Lily thought that this morning might have been enough of a Wide Prank (as 'officially' named by Remus) but no, apparently that had just been 'lots of little ones stuck together'. To be classified as he type of 'Wide Prank' that Protocol Thirteen called for the prank needed to cover the entire castle simultaneously, be merged entirely into one and include members of the entire group in equally important roles.

This was going to be very Not Fun.

The others disagreed. They thought it would be amusing (although Lily had a feeling that Alice had since changed her mind about that one.) Either way, it was going to be tiring.

Oh so tiring.

And even worse… the teachers were coming back.

This could go one of tow ways - either they would pull it off and get in trouble, or they would not pull it off and get in trouble. But after the past week… how could it get any worse?

Well… Lily really should have taken a lesson from Alice.

_It can always get worse._

* * *

><p><strong>I AM TAKING SUGGESTIONS FOR THE 'WIDE PRANK'. <strong>

**I do have some ideas already but if any of you have anything better I would love to hear it! If I decide to use your idea I'll send you a preview of one of the dares or truths I've already written for when the story goes back to normal game rules.  
><strong>

**(NOTE: Previous chapter has been updated again at the request of my sister who thinks a Muggle riddle is not acceptable for the Ravenclaw common room. Solution remains the same though - congrats to all of you who figured it out!)**

* * *

><p><strong>Acknowledgements:<strong>

_**~CoralFlower**_** suggested Lily hand out Muggle pens and Sirius throwing lemons at people while claiming to be Life and Hestia building a statue of slughorn out of gum (although my sister asked that I make Hestia pick the gum off the bottom of desks)**

_**~UniquelyX**_** suggested locking Filch in a cupboard**

_**~Phoenix Call**_** asked that someone steal Fawkes**

**~…and **_**georgianicolexxx**_**suggested someone steals Dumbledore's sherbet lemons**

_**~Laugh Poor Weasley**_** suggested that Sirius be a Dog and Alice pretend to be the owner. **

_**~Blue Luver5000**_** also asked that Sirius be a dog, but added the suggestion of him chasing Mrs Norris**

_**~Master Noble**_** asked that one of the Animagi go around in their animal form. Sorry it wasn't for 24 hrs, but I need Sirius for other things. **

_**~Hellfire Putten Ninja**_** suggested that the two Grims invade a Divination class**

_**~StormwalkerofLorien **_**suggested that someone needed to claim Dumbledore was taking the place of Gandalf the Grey**

**As always tell me if I missed you, I didn't do it on purpose and I will add you immediately. **

**Thanks again to all of you who have stuck with me and reviewed! You guys keep me going. You're all awesome.**

**(One final thing. I'm thinking of also posting my stories over on AO3, something I've been putting off for a while. What do you think?)  
><strong>


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